PY'S KITTEH SO CUUUUTE!
And and her mousie's babies are soooo TEENY! Like an inch. I sooo wanna squeeze it. Humm i didnt just said that.
-
*Sigh* =/
After things changed, things still seems to suck.

Stop the fuckin car - Circa survive
Baiee.

Tumour Forward
Right, read this:

"Dont care how important u think u r..read and repost this if you dont believe it, call the number. Everyone needs to take the time and read this. Just take a break from all your other stupid bulletins about who is gonna die or if your love life will suck for 7 years and be serious and do the right thing. Repost this or you have no soul seriously. A kid needs our help so do the right thing.

Hi, my name is Matt Dawson. I am 23 years old, and I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isnt fixed, and my family cant pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is reposted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who dont repost it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE REPOST THIS MESSAGE AS "READ PLEASE"!


Matt Dawson
602-999-7996 Home

Please feel free to call me for anything.

*hey it wont cost you but 10 seconds of your time*


I wont name who sent me this, but they wasted a good 15 seconds of my life by doing so. I shalnt turn this into a rant about forwarded messages, thats been done before. Rather, Im talking about this particular forward. For those who dont receive enough of this shit already, this is actually an exact copy of another fake forward doing the rounds. The only difference is the pretentious, patronising, holier-than-thou opening paragraph. That and the addition of a phone number. What arrogant fuckwit is going to think people are stupid enough to actually call it and check that this forward is genuine? "O yeah, Ill just call an international number I got in a forward to check to see if this email I forward to everyone will actually give this guy his whole 7 cents." I might as well send him a cheque equal to the cost of the phone bill I would have made; Id be making a bigger donation that anyone else (seeing as theirs would be absolute fuck all).

And what does "Please feel free to call me for anything" mean? Why? Why would I call? "Hey Matt, hows it going, still got the tumour? … Oh, no reason, I just got an email from someone telling me you had a brain tumour and that I could help give you 7 cents by forwarding it to people, and it handily included your home number. This is the right number, right? … Oh. Should I try his mobile? … Matt Dawson? … You dont? … Ah … Well, I suppose I should have guessed it was a copy of another email I got yesterday… and yes, I suppose “Matt Dawson” is a really bad fake name. That, and Im thick as shit. Sorry."

And if youre talking to someone who thinks they are very important, try to use correct spelling and grammar. Its even easier to look down on you if you write like a five year old on ketamin. I mean, I manage to. And Fuck-button, you only use an Asterisk notation when theres an asterisk in the actual script.

Although I will say I like the apt description of other forwards as the other stupid bulletins. But to be honest, I personally think that a 23 year old who is relying on people forwarding his tale to fund an operation probably isnt really worth saving.thedailyrant.

Juturna - Circa Survive
Laters.

CIRCA SURVIVE! Mmm confusing is it a Band or the singer from Saosin?

Mmm I might consider if you had the sincerity but no! Or either I dont feel it. Seems that after that Carl's jr thingy you stopped talking to me. Weeeelll will u even call me on Sat.

AHH no! Havent called the SCHOOLS yet! Should I even start calling them NOW?! Humm but no! I didnt want to! Sometimes I wish I had an assistant send from the sky to take care of everything for me. Who doesnt haaa. And I still think that im escaping REALITY. O how I hate this word. Why cant I grow up!
Still pondering whether if I should get a job.
Lifes been fun for them. Mmmmm.

A decade under the influence - Taking back sunday
Bai.

Fucking A, I cant sleep! Humm wrong I just dont wanna sleep.

ACCEPTED! This movie is awesommmeeee! This movie is teh shit man.

"Ask me about my weiner."

"Lets start a Battle Royale!"

"Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that their gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision! "

ITS NOT DISGUSTING! I MISS YOU! DONT GO HK! Rofl ;D

Met YT at CWP then hang around waiting for LY to come. YT bought her jeans at CWP. Then LY came and hum I bought something to eat cause I havent eaten since morning. Sooo hungry! Eating and talking while finishing my food cause I couldnt bring the food up the train. Talk talk talk then that dumbass YT says," Wo you mei you yong dao bi ni qu!" THEN LY TURNED AND WENT HOME. STUPID YT! Then I raaannn and chase LY but in the end I didnt beg her to stay LOL. Idiot man.

Then we two went to Bugis. Humm Bugis Village is HOT. Bought a clothing and nothing else! We go Ajisen Ramen eat. OMG I KAY KIANG order the same Ramen with YT. SOOO FRIGGIN SPICY! AHHH was like couldnt enjoy my meal! Kept blaming YT. Hahahahaha. Humm then meet my sis at CWP and walked home together.

I AM OFFICIALLY BROKE! Left 20cents ;D! Gotta collect money or ask for donations from my Daddie. Imma save every cents he gave me and then I can go out again >_>! IF NOT I WONT GO OUT WITHOUT A SINGLE CENTS!

@#$
The ground folds (Acoustic) - Senses fail
Peace.

SOMEONE FUCT MY FRIENDSTER UP! Wonder whos fucking aruond with my friendster. All my pics GONE!

UGH gotta get my BUM OUT OF THE HOUSE! Im late again.

Somehow this chair and the compy have attracting powers that made me not wanting to move away from IT! And the more I type the more I didnt wanna move. Humm okay im outtie.

Populace in two - FROM FIRST TO LAST
Deuce.
P.S I miss you! Really.

AHHH NOOO! Yt's going to hk ;[!
Imma go shopping with her later! Effin flu still bothering me much tho. But STILL I am still strong with my stand! No drugs! People are sooo dependant on drugs.
Saosin's new songs suckzoorrrs! =/
Mmm I wish december never ends. I miss the coldness. On this month last year, i was still playing RO with my blanket in front of the com, ranting about the coldness in Alde. Ahhh.

Shower
Deuce!

Friggin flu for days.

Where the hell is my buddy Snydes!

Cause I like
Where you sleep
When you sleep
Next to me
I like
Where you sleep
Here

Cause our lips
Can touch
Our cheeks
Can brush
Our lips
Can touch
Here

You are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whispers, "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love you with suddenly
That theres no place else I could be but here in your arms.

#$!%#@$RI(U@FIOPDJWRIQ#()%I*#$%)*#%OPRIEPWI@ >_>

Shopping cancelled. Dinner cancelled. But its okay! I <3 staying home on rainy days. AND THE THING THAT PISSED ME OFF IS MY GRANNNEEEE! I hate my com in the living room. I hate not having my own room cause of my granny. WE ARE OFFICIALLY COMPETING THE NOISE FROM MY COM AND HER TEEVEE.
Seriously, I miss the quietness of my home.
I WANT MY OWN ROOM.

Yayyy my mousies are finallly eating! Its funny to hear their feet sound when they are running on my bed. Its like some cartoon sound. Reminds me of Family guy's STEWIE!

"Na nana nananana nan na?"
"Na na nanana na."
"Nana."

LOL <3
Crash and burn - Savage garden
Laters.

Yay for skirtie tomorrow! And yay for greenie!

When I was showering in the morning, was sitting in the toilet smoking and thinking random stuffs. Was thinking about a new wallet cause my sis's FACE is stuck on the wallet. Then thought about money... then... remembered theres a 10 dolla note in my back pocket of my short which I threw in the pail.... of water... a min.. AGO! Was like, "AHHH SHIT!" Jeez was yelling in the toilet. Luckilyyy money is not torn easily. >.>

Hummm went to YT house. They GAMBLING AGAIN! I was soo bored. I hate gambling so I didnt join in. Sat on her bed disturb them. Disturb YT's mousie. Disturb YT. LY kept winning after I came LOL! Bummed around til like 6+ then we went for dinner. YT! That asshole! We were playing in the middle of the road and she suddenly YELLED at my face "YOU CHE!" Of course! Natural reaction, to jump and run? LOL and she couldnt stop laughing and KEPT replaying my reaction OVER AND OVER AGAIN. >_> Series of funny stuffs. Blah blah blah.
Went back gamble again >.>....... Nearly fell asleep! While I was resting i heard YT say, "Hope she fall asleep til she missed her movie." Was like WHAT?! I HEARD THAT! LOL!
PY RETURN ME MY RICOLA! Ate all my sweets ;[

Went back home then catch Battle of Wits with my dad! The story wasnt that good.. But I like when its war! Soooo MUCH soldiers! Its like a game ha. And friggin people so noisy behind. Then after the movie we were hungry! Daddie and I went to 515 for supper. And humm I told him to buy Green tea for me and I helped him order Carrot cake. Then when I went back.... was like THE HELL?! He was holding a tiger and two mugs. >.> Shees and I saw Ben Ho they all. Na na na love my Daddie! Hes so cool. We share ciggies, he allows me to drink, he drives me to pub sometimes, and he owns a cool bike! <33

OKAY! And now im home. Back to my SOLIDARY CONFINEMENT. Or w.e you spell it. Haaa

All at once - The fray
PEACE! Much loves!<3~!
!! Damn mousie!
P.S He likes me TOO!

Suicidal escape?
The setbacks starts all the way from Sec 3. I need to move OUT of the fence.

Anyway, gotta settle unfinished stuffs at least BY this week or the better, tomorrow. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING! No more time left. I couldnt believe Ive dragged this until now. What the hell am I doing these few years? Wake up girl.
*Takes a huge breath*

Didnt get much sleep these two days! Didnt know why I just couldnt sleep. Mmm maybe im just used to sleeping 12 hours a day? Rawr ;3 Have to wake up early tomorrow. Humm imma go take a nappie on my sofa since I couldnt sleep on my bed. - .-

LIST OF STUFFS DELAYED
-My skirt damnit?
-The decisions
-Numbers
-JOB?! Where is it?

Everything was crashing down again. When I was trying to sleep on my bed mins ago, I felt so suicidal again. I tried talking to my sis. Those words just couldnt come out. And I didnt wanna bother her cause shes happily talking to him. I lay there and listen how happy she is. I silently tears. Everyone in the world must be thinking, "Look at this emo girl, what a loser..."
Everytime I saw this word loser, I always thought of a poem I read somewhere. And I feel better again. I regretted I didnt save it. Couldnt find it now. That poem is so strong.

PEOPLE WHO TRIED TO HELP. THANK YOUUUUUU! Much loves <3~!!

Mmm niways, tomorrow will be better. (:
Disguise - Lene Martin
Peace.

NOMOREPROCRASTINATING.

Life as a guy

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4, 5, 6. Aww darn. 7, 8, 9. Not quite yet. 10, 11, 12. Go on. 1, 2, 3? Lan, yes, no? No. Lets do this again.
What is this?! A friggin cycle?

Honestly, what is the purpose of me being here? Is it to enjoy my life and make the most of all the free time I have? Or is it just to be taken for a fucking ride by pretty much everyone I come into contact with though no fault of my own??

Im emo? Damn right.
Angry kid? Not quite.
I am SO DEAD.
Hate me.

NIWAYS! Chatted with Mary and Rara yesterday night. Jeez cant stop calling him Mary. I MEANT Marvin. HE JUST gotta rub in salt to my wounds. "You and Lan still <3?"
...No me and Lan S/2 Hes dead. "WERE" DEAD. No more "WE". So like just.... shees. WHAT DO YALL WANT TO HEAR?! WERE DONE OKAY! Friggin a, why cant EVERYONE stop asking about US. Seriously you know... everyone! Jeez. No im not gon end here. Tell me what you want to hear? Happy ending? And "they" lived happily ever after? NO joke man. This is pissing me off. So he just disappear like that. The hell can I do? Stop asking me illogical questions. You really think I could do something?! You really think hes not to blame? You really think he will be back? And? The point is? No! Theres no point. All the things ive done. Theres no point! Things ive given up for him. PEOPLES ive given up for him. Theres NO point! Time ive wasted. Efforts ive wasted. THERES NO POINT. SO STOP ASKING. STOP TELLING ME THERES STILL HOPE. STOP TRYING TO COMFORT ME CAUSE ITS NOT GON HAPPEN. HE IS NOT HERE. HE IS NOT ALIVE. I! For the last time will ever be alive to him.

... ...

Seriously this month I AM TRYING NOT TO GET MAD OR ALL EMO OVER HIM. SO PEOPLE JUST STFU.

Humm.. >.> I am not dissing Marvin. Just... he trigger my emotional bomb. -_-

Seriously that song gotta shut up for once. I AM NOT HAPPY STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY.

XY asked me if I quarrel with Darren. -_- was like huh? O...k dont wanna RANT anymore.

Letters to you(Acoustic) - Finch
Word out.
P.S I am fine now. -_- Or may appear. Seriously man... kkthxfuckyallbai.

Procrastinate til eternity >.>

Cant sleep! Im soo sleepy and my right head hurts so much but I cant sleep. So got up to blog. Iono why I tends to blog everytime I couldnt sleep. Prolly cause of the thoughts in my head? The music in my head? Gah.

I remember the times I was obsess with RO. We had like four wipes. At the first wipe, I hated the days after the first wipe and misses the old one. At the second wipe, I hated the second and misses the first. It goes on. I guess thats much the same about life. Now I misses Kaz3ro and its gone.
If im at my deathbed, will I regret more on the things Ive done or the things I didnt do?

Today, was talking with my mom and sis. They suddenly talked about Hypotension or w/e they spell it. Then I asked whats that? And then all the nurses in the house starts talking. Then suddenly my sis says im pron to Hypotension with my way of life. Was like, "OooKAY, NURSE."

Here - Hellogoodbye
Ciao. For the last time today. >.>
P.S If you want to avoid obstacles in your life, fence them out. But, you dont fence obstacles out, they fence you IN.
P.P.S Is the mousies mating? Why is that noise?

Is is really that simple?
Maybe its just that simple.

May be, may not be. Your choice.

Say it - Voices of theory
Humm see you again, again, andd again.

P.S HAPPEE BIRTHDAY NURUL! I aint going tho! Sry!
P.P.S Havent made a decision YET! WHAT? What should I do?
P.P.P.S I sincerely miss L.I.F.E Whats life?

Where are you now?
As Im swimming through the stereo
Im writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of

Came back from supper. Haa in the end we only ate some little things cause we aint hungry at all. And PY! Finally gave me her mousies! <3
And then I said, "I was wondering how YT look like in long hair with her previous hair." LOL AND after that she took my SLIPPER AND THREW IT ON THE ROAD. >_>
We stayed until it was like 1am then decide to go home. Friggin YT pushed me into that banner. >_> and keeeeept laughing. And I yell at her ears hahaha we were yelling like no one's fuck.

We parted and I walked down the road. I <3 thee cold, empty, dark, quiet and lonely road. Well it doesnt really matters if its quiet or not. I loove walking down that road with my mp3. It makes me feel happy.. freee and humm joy! Humm I was like AWW when I reached home. I wish I can walk like that forever. Keeep walking with my mp3. <33 The breeze, the cold and the air.

Here - Hellogoodbye
Ciao.

Talked to my mom about private.. Errrrr. One week only two or three classes?! Each class 3 hours only?! WHAT?! ... ... I dunno what to say.

Neways new song =D Tho it doesnt quite fit my blog. Emo blog with a happy song. Ha so not right. But w/e this song makes me happy =D
From Khao <3

Laters.

Reflect, Evaluate. Am I doing the right thing?

YT! YOU TOOK MY MOUSIE! ITS SPOSE TO BE MIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Pif >(

Hum should I stop the weekly drinking?... >.>

I AM soo indecisive! I cant decide whether i should go back to High school or not. Do I have other alternative? =/

Its amazing how every one of my memory have a song for it. Its like a film played in my head with a playback music.

Crash and burn - Savage garden
Laters.
P.S I think im infatuated with you! Brighten up my life pls.

Went to get a referal from the Polyclinic. Before that was chatting with YT on msn. Then i told her to accompany me to the Polyclinic. Shes like "Why? Baby ar?" LOL then I was like yup. HAHA eventually everyone believed. Funny. Along the way there, so much funny stuffs happen. People in the Polyclinic was even funnier. After that we met up with Michelle. Humm on the bus, they told me to give a second thought about going back to school. I was like, " If not high school, where can I go?"
Where can I go.. What can I do? Wasted two years.
They went to Py house after that but I went home. Felt lazy. And they reached her house and webcam with me. LOL YT told PY that the doctor use a scapel to cut my birthmark. LOL I decided to play along and i went to get a plaster and paste over my birth mark then appear at the webcam. LMAOO so funny.

Neways, weeeee more E-friends. ;] But seriously, RoseRO is high rates. That place is full of noobs. Kept asking simple things. YO THERES A THING CALLED ROEMPIRE.COM. >.> They didnt know Occult is spamable, or how-to. Didnt know Breaker is stronger when elemented. Dont even know Preuma blocks breaker. Thats like the most basic stuffs. Didnt know Cutlus give Bash. Bash owns with EDP. Ha this few words keep repeating "gotta own them gotta own them gotta own them."

GOTTA OWN THEM YO
Our flag is white - This providence
Ciao.

Im leaving again
For the second time around
You better believe
That this was all just a joke to me
And as i look down on them
I repeat these words in my head
"They never heard one sound out of my mouth
they never heard one sound"
I saw pretty clear
But when i left you all stayed the same
Now i think i believe
That i was never alive in the first place

Should I just tell him the hurting truth? I did tell him the very first time he asked. Months past, im sure he got the msg that im never gonna be with him. Ha tho hes effin rich blah blah blah. But too bad theres no attraction between us.
Like how am i gonna face him at the weekly drinking. Mmm. Thursday, Carls Jr with him or not?...

Annddd i think im going back to the kind of life i had previously AGAIN! Not the first time. Sleep RO sleep. So boring and MEANINGLESS. HELP! ??

I browse thru the photos and screenshots we had together. I was suprised i didnt feel sad at all even with those depressing songs i was listening to. I even smiled at the good times we had. I miss him =] Maybe one day... "Cool - Gewn Stefani"
He once said, "If ever we're not meant to be for each other, I want you to know that I, for the first time, loved someone truely, honestly giving everything and if ever we part our ways, for some reason maybe because of destiny, I will always look back to the times we spent, will laugh, at the same time cry, for love fought for.. but left behind." I will miss him.

Tonight - Lost prophets
Peace.

December fades. Where had our dreams, love and passion gone to? Everything about Decemeber means nothing anymore.
-Alone in december

I want something consistent in my life.

I used to make the light shine for you
The sun has left my sky
Velvet walls surround my sorrows
Ive sacrificed my pride

Giving up on me
Youre giving up on me

Ive laid myself to sleep tonight
I know youve played out everything in your mind
and now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me

Youre giving up on me

And when you feel the pain
Im wishing I could stay
How can I say I love you back?
You never made me happy

I know youll never change
I wont be good enough for you
I know youll make it through
Ill never be around to see

Right first of all I have just had a large rant on a similar subject but I dont feel I thoroughly got it out of my system.
If theres one thing that really gets on my tits its BLOODY MOBILE SLANG. I am seventeen so can safely say that its stupid with out seeming old. I dont care if I am on a bloody "pay by the fucking word" system Ill be dead before I disobey simple rules of grammar, and it gives all teenagers a bad image. Were not all a bunch of illiterate bastards who sit around on street corners with chewing gum in their fucking mouths, texting someone standing next to them with some bloody inane and illegible piece of arse such as "wht r u doin ur stndn rgt nx 2 m bt i dnt cr c u l8r" (correct translation "what are you doing, youre standing right next to me but I dont care see you later" was it such a fucking problem just typing that? - NO). Its people like that who will be cleaning the toilets of tomorrow, you mark my words. -Thedailyrant

Living in black and white - Underoath
Ciao.

Suddenlys "Drinking is bad, I should stop."

"Is there any point of time in life when everything is going smooth?"
"There will always be obstacles."
"Uhh so like.. theres none. So theres no?... No smooth point? So like the answer is no?
... So is there any point in life?" Jeez

Humm i dunno how to start this post -_-...
I am soo wasted last night. Sheees I totally neglected the rate im drinking. And didnt even try to control it. Didnt know why/what/who cause me to drink that way. Anyways HAHAHA I wished Mike Happy birthday for the sixth time. Funny thing is I dont even need to buy cigarrette when I get there. I was like Mike got ciggie? Then he said he dont have either then XY came and gave us ciggies from the next table. Then were like quick quick! Mike took two LOL I took three HAHAHAHAHA! And I didnt realise I was drinking so quickly. But I like myself feeling tipsy it makes me feel better talking. BUT jees this is too much.
Once I vomitted, my world started spinning reeal quick. My world spins so crazily. And Tina kept telling me to puke it all out. Puke puke puke! And I was like all trying to say THERES NOTHING LEFT TO PUKE I just had my lunch and nothing else. And then when I finally did stand up and walked out, I was like "Dont pull me!" Lmaooo I know that they are actually trying to help but when I walked im trying to concentrate and make myself less dizzy. But when they hold me, its actually getting more dizzy. So was like dont touch me. Then Darren sent me home and I lay dead on my bed. Not really, I think i was so noisy last night. Woke my sis up. Anyway its a fun night.

Anyway, I feel skinny after all those puking lmfaooo. Im so hungry ._.

New medicines - Dead poetic.
Deuce.

Wth man. In the end everyone never go. What a spoil joy man. The same old people at Discussion. Drinking seems so boring now. Im just waiting for the time to pass til its time to go out now -_-! Which is at night. Like six hour more to wait. Wtf man wtf. I rather sleep.
/Edit.
The other half are going. Well at least people are goin. x_x

-
The only thing that has been consistent in my life suddenly become so unrealistic and disappointing. O the irony.

When the sun sleeps - Underoath

Woke up at 9am+. Wow. Yea thats so "wow". Neways, sitting around at home till like 12+ my sis wanted to meet me. Then of course I was late ;P
While I was on the train, this old man came to sit beside me and he took out a think book in english and began reading silently. I was *looked at him, then looked at the book* Wow... Then suddenly I began to notice ALMOST everyone around me was reading a book. Then a kid and his mom came in, sat in front of me. THAT KID that was like less than primary 1, took out a book. A book that says "World geography, encyclopedia." WTF?! I was like the wtf expression.
I suddenly began to feeel so dumb -_-!

Went to cineleisure, didnt manage to get any stuffs I wanted. Went to that resto, z0mg BROWNIEEEEES! Tho I still think TCC's better. Went straight back home.

I was sooo tired. For some reason I always get so restless when im tired x_x LOL I kept talking to my mom my sis. They find me soo irritating. Then began telling them how weeds is healthier than ciggarette. BUT ITS TRUE YO! Then started telling my mom how I will so try that if ever I got the chance. And yay is also known as weeds. And telling how Marijuana is pronouce as Marawana not mariJUAna. And kept laughing at her, how a 17 yr old girl owned her mom. Then she couldnt believe its pronouce as Marawana. And started telling her that I would live in Amsterdam, where weeds are legal. LMAOOO Dayumm I am sooo an asshole. But all of the above is true except the part where I wanted to live in Amsterdam.
Seriously still laughing.

And dayum. I miss ANDREW SNYDES! Snydes and me and our pointless chats. It really cracks me up.
"I must kill you if you ask for buff."
"Buff me" *Hits* *hits back*
"NO you dont hit her. Only she can hits you but you cant hit her back."
HAHAHA I miss him ;[

And im soo annoyed with the things at my house. My house phone is spoilt. My door bell is out of batt and no one wants to change it. Or either its spoilt too.

I can tell - Saosin
Deuce.

Noises and kisses - The Used

Somehow I feel happy.
More aware of the people around me. My mom. Used to dislike her. Now I love her more.
Mmm this wonderful feeling inside of me.

The taste of Ink - The used
When you were young - The killers.
Wow three songs had played while I write this post.
Ciao.

Weeeeeeeeee so many of us are going on saturday. Havent seen those chicks for like a hella looooooooooooong time! Miss them =D Its so gonna be fun.

Mmm met up with Ramses. And we watched Casino Royale. Dayum I couldnt even understand the movie x_x its complicated and confusing. Anyways, I thought hes sweet. I dunno why just thought hes sweet. Mmmmm for some reason i cant stop smiling ._.

When I was on my way to CWP, GUESS WHO CALLED! Nuruuuuuuuuuul!! Awww so sweeeet! She stills remember me after I left Swensens. She even invited me to her bday picnic at East coast this Saturday! Thats so nice and sweet of her. I thought she forgetten me and I have no other ways to contact her. I lost my phone and the contacts are gone. So was like, hows Swensens now. Those funny Indian guys' last day was yesterday. Sad I wasnt there to wish them luck. They are going back to India next year Feb. I should really msg Bala to wish him all the best ;] And Mam Jane transfered to Vivo City ha. And that Poka or how you spell his name, she said hes getting irritating. I was like LMAOOO. Hes so quiet in the past like me. Must be the influence. Man I miss working in Swensens. ;[

Neways! Dying for saturday. I wanted to buy a skirt but, seems like im not gonna get one anywhere soon.

Deuce.

P.S I miss a real relationship.

W00T! Someone commented on my post! Hes like the first person EVER commented on my blog. Thanks Andrew ;]

Whats life? More than 93% of the world, hates life or agrees that life sucks. So why dont they just end it? I dont see them just ending their life like that. Why dont YOU end your life now and stop saying how life sucks? Why do you wake up each day? What makes you want to get out of bed and start your day? What makes you want to get on with life? I guess its that little glimpse of hope that kept people going. Thinking that one day when they wake up of their dream, everything will turns for the better. Thinking that one day maybe someone will take their breathe away. Thinking how life can be if they could skip this boring daily routine for once. Thinking that today will definately be free of stress and pressure. Thinking that maybe someone will make them smile again. Thinking that they will be out of this dark hole that kept them away from the sun. Is that little glimpse of hope that powerful? What if that little small hope of them be taken away from them? Will they even wake up in the morning? Will they ever cease to exist again? Will they end their life just like that? Just because that hope is taken away from them? I guess its just that powerful. And I will not let that little hope be taken away from me. Not now, not ever. I want to get on with life. I want to wake up every morning, thinking what a beautiful morning to start the day. I want to wake up and smile. I want to wake up and say yes i AM awake cause today is gonna get better and better, and better. Do YOU have hope?

Had a bad baaddd dream. I dreamt that Lan was married. -_-

Cant wait til 20th reach. Then they R freeeee from O levels. It means we can hang out! And plus were gonna look for a job together (: I wanna do some SERIOUS shopping ;D
Cant imagine the days will be like after i join HS. x_x Hopefully I can talk for abit. Dont wanna be like a dumb mute.

Zomg! He says the same thing as Lan everytime he logs off! @_@

Pwede ba - Soapdish
Deuce.

I cant believe I let it happen again.
Ever since I met Lan, I promised not to let anyone disrespect me again.
But I betray myself today. I felt so bad after that. I did it just to replace the voidness in my heart.

I believe we shouldnt let the moment passes by
Lifes too short we shouldnt wait for the water to run dry

Think about it cause we only have one shot at destiny
All im asking could it possibly be you and me

So if you still go i'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to
And if you'll stay i'll hold your hand
Cause im truely madly crazy in love with you

Time has come for us to go our seperate way
God forbid but my mind is going crazy today

I feel so cold
Feel so numb Im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away


Your the one who set it up
Now your the one to it stop
Im the one whos feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

Darna - Kamikazee

Tila ibon kung lumipad
Sumabay sa hangin
Akoy napatingin
Sa dalagang nababalot ng hiwaga

Mapapansin kaya
Sa dami ng 'yong ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat
May pag asa bang makilala ka

Awit na nananawagan
Baka sakaling napakikinggan
Pag ibig na palaisipan
Sa kanta na lang idaraan

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna

Ang swerte nga naman ni Ding
Lagi ka nyang kapiling
Kung ako sa kanya
Niligawan na kita

Mapapansin kaya
Sa dami ng 'yong ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat
May pag asa bang makilala ka

Awit na nananawagan
Baka sakaling napakikinggan
Pag ibig na palaisipan
Sa kanta na lang idaraan

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna

Tumalon kaya ako sa bangin
Para lang iyong sagipin
Ito ang tanging paraan
Para mayakap ka

Darating kaya
Sa dami ng ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko sila
Paano na kaya?

Awit na nananawagan
Baka sakaling napakikinggan
Pag ibig na palaisipan
Sa kanta na lang idaraan

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna
-
Seems like a bird flying with the wind i see
Like a young lady wrapped in a mystery
Would you even notice with all the things you do
If i stole everything is there hope that we would meet

The song of the calling maybe one day you will listen to it
A love that is only a thought maybe through a song instead
Heaven is wondering the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars even a glance from darna

Hes lucky your feelings are always for him
If i were him id go out with you
Would you even notice with all the things you do
If i stole everything is there hope that we would meet?

The song of the calling, maybe one day you will listen,
A love that is only a thought maybe through a song instead
Heaven is wondering, the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars, even a glance from darna

Maybe i should jump off a cliff, just so you could save me
This is my plan just to be in your arms
Will it happen with all the things you do
If i stole everyone what about you?

The song of the calling, maybe one day you will listen,
A love that is only a thought maybe through a song instead
Heaven is wondering, the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars, even a glance from darna

Heaven is calling, the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars, even a glance from darna

Omg I cant believe it. I just told my mom I wanted to eat Duck rice and she walked all the way to Admiralty to buy it for me. OMG Thats something that never happened. Im so touched =) I love you Ma!

Noooooooooooooo my priest at DarkRO! Gooooooooone! I warp to a fucking unknown place and I crashed. Fucking KRO. So much updates. -_- My level 180 priest!!! I finally maxed three stats -_-. I know its easy BUT STILL I hate leveling with NOTHING!#@$@$@#$@#$@#$.

And remember that guy from Holy?! Morgue. Thats his name! And and he still got that pic I sent him a year ago. AWWW THATS SO SWEEET. Me and my Peco <3

Finally get Ly's ass out of the house. And we went shoppping~ And of course I was late again so I gotta treat them Dou hua! Its okay ^^, I havent treat them anything in a while. Since I got some money now, might as well treat them something simple.

And we went Bugis and shooop =D! We were walking, walking, walking. I didnt see anything I really liked. Then finally I saw THAT RED SHOE! I was like wooooooot! STOP! THIS SHOP THIS SHOP! And I bought it. Now I dont know what to wear with it <_<.

I bought a tee, shoe and a jean. =D Then we walked to Paradiz for Pool and went Discussion. Same stuffs. Same peoples. Mmm its really a boring night tho. And Darren sent me home and and he gave me a watch! Tho I would rather prefer watches that rock but still its sweet.

And next week its Xy's bf birthday. Py and guys said they would go too! Weeeeeeee at least it wouldnt be so boring. More people that im cool with to drink with me. It would be so awesome. (= And Py said Lets wear the same colour! LOL I CHOOSE BROWN RAWR! Kkz Im out.

Alipin - Shamrock
Deuce.

The killers - When you were young
-
Woke up at 6pm lol I KNOW! And went to supper at 515. After that we walked Py home and realised that someone was stalking us all this while. LOL and were like playing along with him. Hang around for around 2hours and hes still following us.
Then finally I and YT went to stalk him INSTEAD LMFAO! And he was like WTF? And he kept walking and walking. Then around some corner we lost him ;[ so sad. No more fun.
Went to Yt house til 3am plus then I decided to go home. And here I am now.

Deuce.

P.S WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

Woot went to work. Well the first day of work wasnt that badd. But it was still boring. I got 40$ at the end of the day. I was like soooooo glaad. And and PY and LY came to find meeeeeee I was like AWWW so sweeet of them (:
Then we went shopping after that. While I was trying on the clothes I heard the song To be with you - Mr Big playing. Daayumm I LOVE THIS SONG! I love how the song reminds me of a person. I love how the song reminds me of the joy and laughter. I love how the song reminds me of the love we had. (:
Alrighttt im out.

My heart your hands - From first to last
Deuce.

Whats the truth and whats not. So hard to know whats even real any more.
Imma move on..

T.I[Feat Jamie Foxx] - Live in the sky.
Deuce.

I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart
I am never without it
Everywhere I go, you go, my dear
And whatever is done by only me, is your doing, my darling
I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet
I want no world, for, beautiful, you are my world
My true, here is the deepest secret no one knows
Here is the root of the root
And the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky
That you called life
Which grows higher than the soar can hold
A mind can hide
Is the wonder of whats keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart
I carry it in my heart.

Uhh okay, the previous post had been officially deleted and saved as draft.
After thinking thru a couple of times, I felt bad and remorseful for saying I shouldnt had said. When I post that, I was tripping so I dont really mean it. I felt sorry for those harsh things I said.

I still love him. I still do.

Im beginning to love life. (:
I felt.. great for the first time.

Heres something I leeched from PY's blog.


Always try to help a friend in need [Check]
Believe in yourself [I often tried, but yet..]
Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes [Used to]
Study hard [Uhh study... what?]
Give lots of kisses [To whom yo?]
Laugh often [Check ;D]
Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number [Nuuuu! ITS A JUST A NUMBER!]
Always try to see the glass half full [Check, well most of the times]
Meet new people, even if they look different to you [Not checked, not commented]
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless [Check]
Take lots of naps.. [Check check check! I sleep my life away when I get the chance]
Be weird whenever you have the chance [Fucking check! I AM weird! ;D]
Love your friends, no matter who they are [Check!]
Don't waste food [Check! You know thats how I roll]
RELAX [Check]
Take an occasional risk [Check, used to, still do]
Try to have a little fun each day. [Check, tho I dont really get the fun but I did try.]
Work together as a team [Not checked, not commented]
Share a joke with friends [Check]
Fall in love with someone.....and say "I love you" often [Check, still loving you..]
Express yourself creatively [Yar O_o my hair says it all]
Be conscious of your appearance [Check, overly done. >.>]
Always be up for surprises [Check, im always down for suprises but whos gonna?]
Love someone with all of your heart [Check, still do]
Share with friends [Check]
Watch your step [Dayum, im a clutz]
There is always someone who loves you more than you know [O there is?]
Exercise to keep fit [Check, just started ;P]
Live up to your name [Used to, its screwed up now]
Seize the Moment [Check]
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between [Check, still trying]
Indulge in the things you truly love [Mmmm]
Cherish every Sunday [Whats so special bout Sundays?]
At the end of the day... PRAY [Naah i rather pass that. As I say, people turn to god when they are hopeless.]
And smile at least once a day! [Check (:]
-
Ive been waiting, seems like you dont care anymore. Not even a fuckin reply. I havent even recieved that letter you 'sent' two weeks ago. Dayum, I think its really over. Like a bottle filled with memories, thrown out to the sea.. The word "Trust" is really vanishing. The word "Love" slowly fades in.
The songs.. The "we used to".. The place.. The tree.. The Gonyrun.. The Chittling and Chattlings.. The hats.. The pets.. The smiles.. The laughters.. and the tears.. The starting of each days.. and the endings.. Sexy love.
Be strong girl, I love you my boy.

My sweat smells like the fragrance of my body shampoo. Mmmm smells like My Secret Wish ^_^
-
Still finding no courage. I wish i wish i wish! >_<
-
PY! Gimme your mousie pwease =(
-
People always says, lifes too short, enjoy all you can. But people really meant, lifes too long and boring, gotta have fun to pass the time.
-
Note to self : Somethings still not settled.


Im so tired of everything
You and your mind has to say
Leave me? Love me?
Love me? Leave me?

Feelings drowned by the constant waves of goodbye
Emotions welled up from the battles we had
Dangerous minds can kill, you know
It only takes two

I want to know where the story is
What to tell, what to know
Leave me or love me
Love me? Or leave me?

I keep on holding onto the things that want to slip away.
I want to be with you
but I suppose Ill wait for another day.
When the rain has left me dry…
I love you like youd never know.

In good time Ill disappear
In the midmorning I wont be here
But Ill be in your lost memory
I may come back
Or I may not
Ill never see you again just like you wanted
I never seen you smile
Ill never hear you laugh
So Ill never hear or see these things
Until I decide to come back
But until that fateful morning
Ill keep you in my dreams
To see you as youll always be to me
Hoping you wont forget me
And to see you smile
And to hear you laugh
Ill always be a distant memory

Rant rant rant.

Woke up at about 2pm today. When I was lying on my bed, I thought it was like 5pm cause it was so dark.
And call on my girls, asked if they wanna catch The gudge2.

Met up with Ly first. Before that while I was waiting for her, a guy ask me for donation to some charity or something. And I was like I got no money yo o.o And I was thinking, dude I just donated a 400$ to some poor ass boss. -_-

Then went to bough the tixs and we saw Xh and her bf. Haha watching the same movie. Then blah blah blah.

O..k And the movie was ok. The audience was fly as fuck. Like SI-RY-ERS-LY! Okay not really but the audience is tight WITHOUT all those talkings. All they gotta do is scream. Made it thrilling enough. Like everytime, EVEEEERYTIME the lady and that blue lil boy appeared, HALF the cinema is filled with screams. -_- Tho I enjoyed the audience, but it really got annoying as it continues. >_> Thats like so drama.

What the hell is wrong with the world and the next generation. But really, kids these days are so tiny and small. o_o One of these years to come, people will be drawfs. And movies will scare the shit outa them. And one day muslims will be taking over. Not that im racist or whatever, but really I did notice that there are alot muslims. But hey! I like Malays, Id rather have a Malay bf than a Chinese one.
Alright im out.

Deuce.

Love on the internet.

I read my bottom post. And I remember when I was young, I once dreamt of that guy I felt so happy and blissful with. Tho I couldnt see his face or who he is. It just feels so right.

Remember this song?

Do you see me
Do you feel me like I feel you
Call your number
I can not get through
You don't hear me and I dont understand
When I reach out I dont find your hand

Was it wasted words and did they mean a thing
And all our precious time but I still feel so in between

Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had

I keep tell myself things can turn around with time
And if I wait it out you could always change your mind
Like a fairy tale where it works out in the end
Can I close my eyes have you lying here again
Then I come back down
Then I fade back in
Then I realize its just what
Its just what might have been.

Am I a shadow on your wall
Am I anything at all
Anything to you
Am I a secret that you keep
Do you dream me while your sleeping after all
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending

You dont see me, you dont feel me like I feel you...

AWWW Thats like the sweeetest thing Ive heard in this few months. After I heard it from my sis I was like im so gonna post it right now. So here I am.

Sir told sis, its a pity she just left like that. And Steve told sis, yar shes so quiet and everything. We misses her.

OMG I felt soo warm after hearing that. Now I regretted leaving =/

Well, today i finally DID went out. -_-! I cant believe I cope the whole day at home the last two weeks. I still.. kinda feel weird around people. Yar around peoples, REEEAL peoples. O gawd im so self consious >_> God I hate it.

I had a long talk with my mom when I woke up. Talks about me being sooo self consious. And about my little depression im having. =_= I just cant find any reason to love myself. Talks about me staying at home all the time. Talks about going back to school. Talks about @#$!@#$. Had another talk with my mom again a sec ago. Ffuck. =( Hate myself. *Pulls hair*
Its like something that I really want and I cant find any courage to go for it.

Then I was sooooo late. Were suppose to meet at 7pm at Bugis. Im like showering at 7.15pm. And it takes about 45mins to reach Bugis from here. Lmao I was rushing like a muthafucker. And friggin a, I saw `N on the train <_< He was like my first crush HAHA. But he was so mean to me back then. So I was like, Shit! *Trying to hide myself* And I wouldnt look at that direction the WHOLE friggin ride. LMAOO wth jeees! My neck was so dayum numb XD

Finally reached Bugis. They were eating and they are quite finished so I just had a drink. Notice I havent ate anything since I woke up. Actually I havent ate anything except a Bao till NOW. Which is morning 7.08am. Okay.. Heres the highlight of the day. Fuckin annoying gay immature Jw wanted to meet me. So I was okay, meet me at the end of Bugis village. Then LMAO when we reached there, he hid behind the stalls LOL I WAS LIKE THE FUCK IS THAT BUTTERD DOING?! What a retard seriously. He sayin wanted to meet me and all that shit and punkt out in the end. And this is not enough, he even STALKED us when we walked away. HAHAHA what a punk ass loser. Then we walked all the way to Paradiz to play billiard. Okay and that bitch ass joined in finally. And I was like, WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIDE JUST NOW?! >_> And hes sayin some lame excuses.

After billiard we went to Discussion. We walked again there. And ... >.> omg I dont know how to put this into words. Fucktard Jw. Okay I yelled at him. HAHA. That made me feel good. Seriously, I dont even know how to critisize him even further more. Gawd @#$@#$@# please STFU GTFO you punk ass gay retard stupid bitch moron stupid fuckin muthafucking fag stab yo ball in da ass cant make a dolla out of two cents cant get no hoe cuz yous a white ass busta. Err.. >.> Okay Im just prolly being mental and plus his all day annoyings.

Word out
Deuce.

Im such a punk ass.
What am I doing? Sitting here watching people with their lives? And what am I suppose to do with mine?
So what you gon do? Punkd out on what you decided?

Im not doing it.

Pussy wussy. Tsk tsk

All ive been trying to do these few days is trying to sleep my day by. Seriously, I wish I know why do I wake up for.
But something caught my interest, just dont got the private space to do it >_> Because of my granny. >.>$#%

So whats the point in all of this?
When you will never change
The days have pass,
The weathers changed
Should I be sorry? Could I be sorry?

I did it all, all for you
Hoping you would see
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched
Are we ready? Are we ready?

But you, you think about yourself
Only bout yourself
But what about...

Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

You know me well, You know its wrong
Then what is it you feel?
You hide behind those perfect smiles
It wont fool me, cause you already did

I did it all, all for you
Hoping you could see
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched
Are we ready? Are we ready?

But you, you think about yourself
Only bout yourself
But what about...

Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

The perfect dates
The sweetest kisses
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

So whats the point in all of this?
When you will never change
The days have pass,
The weathers changed
Should I be sorry? Should I be sorry?

Wow I havent slept yett and I dont feel at all tiring. Called the school bout enrolling mm gotta call back again. =D hope they accept me. Dayumm how the hell can I face those teachers when I did so much stuffs to them before. Hope they dont take out their revenge >.>
And I gotta gotta poop. Uhh wrong call, diarrhoea. Wtf
Peace

Happy last anniversary...

-01.06.06

Ouch, my heart is dying...

Should I do this beautiful mistake? Should I do it?
Will I live to regret? My love...

So afraid we wont last to the next month annivesary.
Guys are all the same.
Just tell me what you want.
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.
-
Sis and I went for a sushi meal, kinda rush cause she got to work. And z0mg, that wasabi! Maybe thats why im down with flu now >_> Allegy to Wasabi? o.o
Went to dinner with Darren at night then saw py.
Thats all. Boring day.
-
Cant believe the state the relationship is going. I cant see anyway to salvage it.

Hooray for sushi!
Yay for kaiiii <3!

*Yawns* Boring life.

Theres no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that its gone its like it wasnt there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night
-
I think im becoming scare of working o_o "Kong ju gan" ya know >_>
Envious of my sis =[
Obvious how a failure I am. All I do is sit around.
-
I know youll never change
I wont be good enough for you
I know youll make it through
Ill never be around to see

All carb diet, all carb diet.
No rice for me pls. =x

Maybe its love but its like you said "Love is like a role that we play"
But I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say.

-
And going back wont feel the same if we arent staying

Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?

Everything has changed

Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

You chose to ignore and forget.
I guess this is it.

SERIOUSLY. This guy gotta JERK OFF. Go masturbate or something and stop bothering me with ur pathetic faggy crap. You wanna die? Okay thanks and bai go on and stop bothering me telling me you wanna die or you feel like dying or blah blah blah you cant take it anymore. Seriously, you only know me for two days yo. And your telling me your in love with me? O please thats more like disturbing. Fucking shit even fake your crying on the phone. Honestly I didnt wanna hurt you but you cant stop asking me if i wanna be your GF. You wanted me to answer you fast so like, FINE im not interested in being your GF so why dont you screw off. Then seriously started sniffing and shit. Im not gonna take that from you. Then your like, ok... you go on watch tv... imma go. Then im like kthxbai and hung up the phone. Then you called saying wow you really hung up the phone? Then im like yo ur weird dude, you said bai and of course i hung up. WTF?! Dont try to txt me, i will NOT reply -_- Stupid immature boys. Like omfg your 21. Retarded?

Mmmkay.
Nothing helps. I cant do anything. Trying to make things work out. Just fuck it.

Mmmfuckit.
Hate how thing changes like snap.
Remember this phrase in my past post. "I hate how thing ended like snap."

Watched a movie. Undercover operation. Its niceeeee! Its like Wu jian dao. Nice nice. Cute and handsome guys ;P
Went home after that. Still thinking much.

One month left. Feels like nothing will help. I should just waste these months. Or should I give it a last try. And prolly my dad would fork out some money.
Feels like im back feeling useless. Feeling helpess. Feeling lazy. Feeling demoralize. Going emo again. Fffuck. Who will be there...

Waiting everyday. I rather be the one who waits at home for him. Waiting here seems so pointless. Mmm o.o

If I lay here,
if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and just forget the world.

Weee Kwang treat me eat sushi =D So happee.
And then the guy I met at Bugis, Jin Wei kept calling. Friggin irritating. He was like mad and pissed I didnt go out with him. >_> And like wtf I told him last night, "Like I dont go talk to a person on the phone for a night then be his bf." Seriously, people like that gotta go jerk off.
Then went to play billiard or pool w/e. And yes yes one more good thing. Kwang bought me ciggieeeee SO NICE OF HIM.

And I went home. Jin Wei kept calling. >_> Effffffffff. Dunno if im gonna go out with him tomorrow >_> But seriously I dont wanna go out with this kind of person.

Finally we talked. (: Dont want others attention. I need only yours.
Time doesnt seems on our side either. Sigh.

Hate LVER.

Omg dumb Kwang. Install a fake windows xp now I cant update my wmp ;(

Im just craving for some attention here.
Anyone o.o Gimme some?

But wow.. What ludy luck am I getting.
Now the guy I met at Bugis takes his turn. Zzz.

... ... Until someone do cares.
<\3

Theres poison in my drinking glass
Dont stop just sip it down
And in a swirling masquerade of sound
My body hits the ground
Im beautiful when Im asleep,
martini kisses land
on my blistered bloody scarlet lips
the bottles in my hand

Burn out not fade away

Ill speak in riddles so you can understand
Ill draw in pencil so you can trace with pen
So in love with me, like sand to wet feet
Ill write both our names into the wet concrete.

Were glistening like silver spoons
Beneath the summer night
Oh can you smell the subtle hint of frost
As the flowers start to cry
The Autumn winds are bringing graves
To all the emerald trees
Theyre so beautiful in their dismay
The colors slowly bleed

Still loving you

So ridiculous.
I must get my rightful amount of pay.
I will talk to the one whos handling my pay if I have to.
So see ya til then. Kthxfuckyoubai.

Hmm wth. Gene called me and told me to pass her the MC for today. I was like you told me not to come to work anymore so why bother to get MC. And without MC equals seven days of pay gone. She said the mins i was late will be deducted. 1min deduct 1$. Screw you biatch. W.e I dont know how to put it in words either. Im just too pissed. Fuct up pay. Im working for nothing. All this weeks of hard work and metally 'challenged' and the effin high transport fees. You owe me. Heartless bitch. Burn bitches.
-
Watched a movie. The death note is nice but no ending. Dont wish to type anymore. Ciao.

Stressed and pressurized. I totally broke down in front of my family when I talked to them a while ago.
I dont know why I hang on to that job. Prolly its just because of that one thing that keeps me going. A strong goal. But today, I got so demoralized. When I told my mom and sis about it they felt mad and sad for me. They told me to stop working there. And of course I agree totally. I know I dont got enough time left to look for another job. December.. A special month for me. Thats really whats kept me going. But... I nearly cried at my workplace today. I felt.. like a failure. Its like I could just die right there. I wish I could sleep thru the years. My mom said I was depressed. She told me to go out more often to enjoy but.. I dont got much time left. This two months I just wanna make more money. All for Decemeber. She knows about Decemeber too, she sympathtized but she really dont advice me to do it. She told me to postpone it and dont push myself so hard. But I dont wanna delay it anymore.
I cry cause I pity myself, I know I dont deserve this treatment. Im facing so much judgement everyday.

I tried my best.. Sorry if I couldnt make it at Decemeber. =(

I hate the Vivo bitches.

Weird day.
Working as usual. And I saw a customer wearing a shoe that i was looking for. It really loooked like that show from hottopic. And I was like " Uhm hi excuse me where you buy the shoe from?" Shes like suprise LOL.
And and a customer complimented my sevice and wanted me to work in her shop LOL. Wow thats funny. Thats like betraying my company? Haha but HECK. Imma call her sometime to discuss the details ;P

Uhh fuck it. I hate the one week thing.

Still no uniform yeetttt =[
During break time I didnt eat. Made a call and talked all the way. Tee hee hee. Heard some unpleasant stuffs. Changed my impression of him.

When I reach home i was starving to death. My dad drive me to 888 to eat hehe. AND I saw YuRen-ZiXiong. LOL. Okay that guy look like YuRen of the back and look like Zixiong from the front. HE WAS SOO CUTE. Z0mg. I should go on 888 often LMAO.

P.S I miss him but I cant feel him missing me.

O how much I wanna be as fun as before. But you see, everyone has their own goals and aim. I found it. I used to live aimlessly. Waiting for something to happen. I cant go back to what i used to be. The cheerful me and everything seems always easy for me. O how I miss those times...

Jeeez gotta eat that! Subway smellss so damn nice. Everytime I walk past im like OH GAWD OH GAWD OH GAWD LMAO. Seriously.
-
I dunno how to handle this.

Woot pizza in the morning =D
I still love the Carl jr. And Kwang is friggin annoying at msn. -_-

Putting those potential partners aside just cause i love you. You wont know. You dont get it. You dont understand.
So now tell me, how much do I really mean to you?

Anything for someone whos willing to spend more time with me.

Share with me
Cause i need it right now
Let me see your insides
Or write me off
Cause I'd rather stop now if you won't open up

Disappointing =D

So much for talking the whole day with me on my off.
Nice chat. Im lovin it. Im out.

I wasnt jealous before we met
Now every woman I see is a potential threat
And Im possessive, it isnt nice
Youve heard me saying that smoking was my only vice
But now it isnt true
Now everything is new
And all Ive learned has overturned
I beg of you

Dont go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Dont go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me

It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little smalltalk, a smile and baby I was stuck
I still dont know what youve done with me
A grown up woman should never fall so easily
I feel a kind of fear
When I dont have you near
Unsatisfied, I skip my pride
I beg you dear

A beautiful mistake - The ataris

Maybe I'm not ready for this, and you know it.
Maybe I'm too scared to tell you what I'm really thinking
It's not fair to stay together because of regrets we might have.
I don't want to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you?
I'm only trying to be completely honest.

So I guess this is the ending or a beautiful mistake.
And if we both agree that we shouldn't be together why does it hurt so much?
I feel like I lost my closest friend.
I don't want to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you?
I hope you're happy and completely lonely.

There I am standing all alone on Sydney Harbor Bridge.
And you know I would jump into the fucking ocean if it meant I was truly capable of being satisfied.
Well I ever be?
Did I just give up the best thing I ever had?

Saturday
Sucks. Bitches.
9.15pm : Staring at the entrance for a moment then realise that theres someone staring at me. I turned to look z0mg Darren, Yiling and JW was there. I WAS SO SHOCK LOL. So sweet of them to come look for me. And went to Discussion after that to drink. I didnt want to go in the first place cause I was looking so gay. I was working duh. And and Darren brought me Nachos with CHEEEEESE omfg so sweet of him.
When I was at Discussion, the boss was like. "Why you dress like that? You look so stylish last week." I was like IM WORKING T_T
Had a little drink there but I still puke in the end. Gawd I always puke when I had vodka.
Today
Omfg the bitch gonna dork my pay if im late again. I was like PAPA ZAI WO QU ZUO GONG! Omfg my dad was speeeeding on the bike. I was like hanging on to my life LOL cause I havent wear the helmet properly and its like flying off my head. Jeeez.
And same stuffs... BITCHES.
And around 9pm I saw Darren outside my workplace agian. I was shock too. Cause I didnt expect him to come. And and I told him to buy me a bottle of water and no food pls. AND HE BOUGHT CARL JR FOR MEE OMFG IM ON A DIET DAMNIT. Hahaha couldnt resist it. The food is talking to me.
Then he sent me home. Today my dad sent me to work and someone sent me home after work. I FEEL GOOD NA NA NA NA NA~ lmao =D
And we sat at my house downstairs and talked thruout the night.

LONG LIVE T3H CHICKEN FOLDOVER! Its always there when I neeeded it!
Long live teh chicken foldover~!
So nice of my mom to buy me food. Its like so rare. (:

Started off the day just fine, wasnt late for the first time.

AT break time, I got a suprising call from Kwang. He said hes at Vivo city to look for me at my shop. I was like W.t.F. Then we met for a few mins and I had to go. He said he wait for me til I knock off. I was like o.......k enjoy the four hours waiting (: LOL. But in the end when I knock off he said hes on the way home. So insincere. But I got a feeling he wanted to patch and start courting me again. Hmmmmmmmmm. Sweet revenge? (:

I was at the bus int and one auntie keep talking to me complaining how far is it to work here. I was like im further than you yo. And friggin a, the bus is infested with cockroaches. JEEZ HOW LONG THEY DIDNT CLEAN IT. So effin gross. I was so tense thru out the whole ride.

Kwang said he might find me again tomorrow.

P.S Miss Lan much.

Speaking about JunLong. We had know each other since sec 2. I wonder why all these years had past and he never chose me. Xy and Ly but not me... In fact I had been infatuated with him since Xy was his gf but he never looked at me. I can just stare at him behind my friends.

Ate three pieces of pizza just now AND I dont feel full at all. Maybe I was feeling good and happy for the first time. A glimpse of hope.

Kwang called me just now. He told me JunLong got someone he really likes. I was like Wow thats new. I was even shock when I heard the girl he likes is from a game. I was seeing another version of me. Well I really wish him luck. At least the girl he like is in Singapore too. Unlike me. The one I wanted is so far out of reach.
Kwang wanted to go out with me after my work tomorrow but Darren called me out too. I dont know if im even active to even go out that night.

Marvin and rara met up. Its so nice to hear that. They even got pictures. Whens the day that that will happen to me. I wanna spend my life with him.
Lili started dating too. Everyone is moving on so fast.

-Find happiness by yourself and not in others. Dont wait for others to give you happiness.

Sk-sk-sk-skip working todai =D
Finally I was able to have enough sleep.

When I came ol, Alvin was like hi.
I was like uh huh uh huh hi. He wanted to jio me for a movie. I was like naaah. Then he asked if I do have a bf. I said yup. Hes like why didnt you choose me. I was like thinking, why do I wanna have a bf that think about sex all the time? Then I just told him cause we dont talk anymore. Idiot and he started bragging saying hes been looking everywhere for me but he couldnt find me. What a moron i told him, you know my address duh. And I went back to sleep leaving him talking to himself there hahaha fag.

Funny break today. I went to buy food from that noodle stall then those aunties very talkative ask this ask that. So fun. Then I sat at a four-person table cause there were no more space left. One old man sat with me. I think his bored or something then he kept talking to me about his job, complaining complaining thru out the whole lunch >_> IM TRYING TO EAT MY FOOD YO. But I complain together with him ;P Then I help Gene bought her food. Shes soooo lazy to walk out of the shop >_>
Another funny thing. I hadnt much sleep and I was like blur blur. Then I NEARLY walked into the gents >_> Friggin shit so embarassing. I was like WOOPS >_> Cia sway la.
Then I was chatting the whole day with that part time girl. We were like planning to quit together and find another job together LOL Buttttt of course with Dann.

While I was taking my bus home from Woodlands int. Guess who I saw! Three orange colour uniform, Bala, Satheya and Vinoth LOL I was like BALA! Hes like soooo happy to see me HAHAHA. Then Vinoth and Satheya was there teasing and singing >_> hahaha so miss them (:
Fun guys.

Yesterday passes fast. My new hobby : Standing at the entrance, watching and smiling at cute onlookers walking past.
Hope I can last. Dont break down.
Talked to Lan yesterday =]

Found something that is seriously hilarious.
I was doing my shopping anddd I found something that fits XY.
http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302025502&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442148274&bmUID=1160416595604

=))

And and I fergot to add.

While I was working, I was standing there spacing out. Then I realise someone walking pass was staring at me for a long time then I turn and saw my ex, DANN LOL!
He was like, FUCK YOU! YOU FOUND A JOB ALREADY! You said you wait for me and we go look for a job together! Hahahahahaha thats not exactly the words. What a small world =D
I was like eh?? You come vivo city walk also ar.

Then when I reach home he called and we chatted a while. Whew its a long time =D
Then he said how I used to be anti social back then. LOL i love to talk about the past, its always funny to talk about. I told him, not used to be. I am STILL anti social now! Its been three - four years and we are still good friends =) Thats really rare. Miss him =D
Somehow reminds me of the song Cool-by gwen stefani.

P.S Im gonna quit that job after a month and lets go find a job together =D At least theres someone to talk to while working LOL somemore both full-time. HA HA

This song is so me.

What hurts the most - Rascal flatts
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it overI would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Woke up late as usual. Heading to that dumbass habourfront =(
I see bitches.
Then break time I went to that food center and bought food for Aishah then that Malay guy said thank pretty girl, xie xie. I was like sooo cute LOL
-
Was serving an "ah gua" today LMAO He/she/it was wearing a skirt sooooo short. I was actually praying that I dont see balls hanging out LMAO FTW. Gross out.
-
STUPID BITCHES. Thinking I was new, snatching my customers eh. Fucking bitch.
I miss my aunties =[
-
I chose to runaway but yet I wanted to stay.
I love you, say you love me too.

The man I wanted, never cares.
The man I dont need, cares too much.
Lifes so ionic.

Dont I deserve more? I know I do.
Do I worth your love at all?

Wth LOL I saw this video at py's blog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOsnWWBeKLQ
FTW HAHAHAHA so sad i wasnt there =(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BULLSHITTTT
Fuckin bs.

I want Bugis! I hate working at Habourfront ftw. IT SUCKS. Transfere me baccccccckkk I miss those aunties LOL.
Just hope the uniform come quuiicckkk =D Im only aiming for that LOL So sophisticated.