_____________________________________________ Just listening to the voices...

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Theres a myth saying, the one you spend your new year with, on the 12:00am, is the one your gonna spend with the rest of the year.
Guess I be alone.
Not seems to be there. The first feeling. I was wrong mmm. The first feeling will always be remembered. The way you are now, i dont like it.

Santa monica - Savage garden
Mmmkbai.
P.S On the right track? Soon (:
AHH boring christmas, boring new year. Boo hoo.
Three more days. ;_;

.Trepidation.
Laters.
Went out with my Dad, Mom, Granny for a movie today. Curse of the golden flower. The intro was good, climax was ok, ending totally sucks. Just feel happy to see everyone happy. Mom rarely go out. Granny rarely go out with us as a family. I try to be patient with my granny. Try to be a good, filial grand daughter. Mmm. Worth it.

Tryna tell ya something... Couldnt. I miss you. Forget the songs. Maybe we are not meant to be. Disappointed I am but mmmyeh.

Like how that song goes. "So if you still go I'll understand. And if you stay, I'll hold your hand."

Just sad seeing you like this.

-

Down with flu for the whole month, I finally persuaded myself to take medicine.
Sometimes I wonder, am I doing the right thing. Did I hurt anyone in the process. I be the one getting hurt in the end, I promise.

Just concentrate on your studies. Everything, get out? That way, I be bored to tears.

My sis had a great life, what about mine?

Savage garden - Santa monica
Ciao.
P.S Dont feel bad about yourself. Your a good guy. Your handsome, buff and secksi. (: And your interesting. Too charming and it shuts my mouth whenever im with you. Thats why im so quiet. You gotta look positive, think positive. I just feel sad.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Lovin From autumn to Ashes, suddenly.

Im still feeling disappointed, things didnt work out for us. Charactor differences maybe?

Relationship is not all about physical stuffs. Mmm. For me to think about.

Im still with trepidation and apprehension for school.

Will the new year be less boring than christmas?

-

M, 4, V, T, C and H
Might need to provide this number at the gate
Steady pilot because I'm half afraid
I can't believe youd ask me that
Of course I dont believe in fate
Would you be depressed?
If I attend that wedding, but only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
Sing it loud to drown out the feeling
When you're feeling much more odd (even)
And half as true as dishonored seamen
We'll breathe Pacific and fight our demons
Would you be depressed?
If I attend that wedding, but only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
So arch your back
And flip your hair
Make eye contact so you know I care
You know I care
But only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret


Reinventing the exit - Underoath
Peace.
P.S Still avoiding me.
Thursday 28 DEC 2006
Bad day bad day! I say bad day! Were suppose to be happily tanning in sentosa, enjoying ourselves, but instead its beeen reeeeaaaal disappointing and sooo worst, so wrong.
First off, started the day fine but delay here and there, we reached sentosa about 1pm+. When we reached there, it rained HEAVILY. Couldnt find ANY shelter for our belongings. Hang around at 7-11 for shelter, saw QingLing. LOL We began teading Michelle and QL's bro.
Blah blah blah, rain finally ease.
AND OH YAR FUCKING A! LIMBIN MSG YT SAYIN WOODGROVE HAVE A VACANCY FOR ME. Like ftw, she just had to tell me when I had already enrolled into Si Ling. LIKE FUCK! WOODGROVE IS BETTER THAN SI LING AT EVERY CRITERIA! But nah w.e man, imma stay at Si Ling I guess.

Ok back to the events of the day. Rain eased a little, we left our belongings under a tree, but of course it got wet in the end. We started playing around, rain started again. Was like nah screw that, we continued. Laze around, bored. Decided to go to Siloso beach or however you spell that.

Sat the tram. CLIMAX! PY dropped the ball off the tram. Yelled at the man to stop but he couldnt hear. PY JUMPED OFF THE TRAM LOL! A few skin injuries. Hahaha funny thing is, "She just wanted to suicide."
Went to the First-Aid.

Laze around again, blah blah blah then, was in the sea and I thought Pearlyne and YT wanted to sabotage me, so I eventually drifted further from them. After a moment, I heard someone screamed, "JELLY FISH!"
I turned and looked, saw EVERYONE OFF THE SHORE LOL! I was WHERE WHERE JELLY FISH?! I went to look, like omfg the biggest, longest jelly fish EVUR!

Heard a commotion behind me, Jocelyn was crying and other girls were freaking out. I went to look, Jocelyn and a few others got stung by the jellyfish. Jocelyn couldnt move and stuffs. YT and I ran 528787km to get the lifeguard. I WAS SOO OUT OF BREATHE LOL! They brought her to First-Aid.
YT and I took all the bags and stuffs and stuffs and stuffs. As I entered the First-Aid for the SECOND TIME, I felt this is reeeaaally a bad day. So down on our luck. I was thinking, if I didnt thought that YT was gonna sabotage me, I could have been stung by the jellyfish.

So.. like half of our day was about bad stuffs like that. The most fun i had in Sentosa, its, SHOWER TIME! So much fun at the shower today HAHA!

Went to Vivo, Admiralty, dinner, went home.

Sentosa wasnt fun, the day was fun tho, but its not at Sentosa, its along and thru the journey ._. LOL with YT!

Even I, had injuries. >_>

Net's still bitching.

No trivia - From autumn to ashes
Lates.

Click to enlarge.
Anyone spotted me?!



CRANBERRY JUICE ROX!



Damn the rain =/

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

What if im really just all about a mask? Who am I?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

After years, Linda; pillow; curula, turns out to be a guy. I find that seriously hilarious! AHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAH *Dies of laughter* I pity Wonton.

My Apocalpse - Escape The Fate
Cookiesandcream.
Ciao.
When to YT hosue yesterday. Talk talk talk, drink drink drink. Mm walked home at 5am+. Reached home, shower, talked on phone, went to sleep. Woke up like 10.45am. Still feeling tipsy but gotta go school buy stuffies. And, ZAIDI YOU DIDNT CALL ME UP! Bluff me again >_>
Came home, so hungry, so tired, head so pain. Got caught in the rain.

I was just sitting here, listening to my music and i was thinking, "ahhh what a fine day, fine weather(raining) to listen to soothy music."
-Tv turns on- *Looks behind* AHHH GRANNY WATCHING TV!

Yesterday, talked to my mom about granny. I told her, "After all that happen, I dont feel bad at all, does that mean i dont have a concience? Am I a bad person? But if I did that to you, Daddie, Di di, or sis, I will feel bad, but to her? I dunno why I dont. =/ Am I a bad person, mom?"
Mmm I love talking to my mom, she always made me realise alot of things.

Chasing cars - Snow patrol
Ineedyourgrace
Laters.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I seriously gotta get out of the house. I will burst if I dont. Take a walk, fresh air, hang out, chill around, w.e man.
Tune in to My Apocalpse - Escape the fate at 2:59
<3 the guitar solo. At least that calms me down now.

I AM bias against my granny. So what? That makes me a bad person, i know. But heck, she just appear and expect everything to be like her home. Like theres no others here. Please, seriously, consider my thoughts. I dont like you okay. I hope you get out of my life.

I meant that. No I didnt meant to say it. Yes I meant it. No I dont. Man w.e
Im bad, im evil, im not a good person. W.e, do judge me. Jerk off man.

Stupid lame 'MERRY' Christmas.

Im just tripping today. >_>

My Apocalypse - Escape the fate
#$%@$%@#.
Friggin pissed with the people around me. Why do everyone I come across take me for a fucking ride and shit. Where have all the sincere people gone to?
Well not exactly everyone. Maybe just one, just one. Or two.
Seriously, its either yes or no. Dont just come and go. Freaking a, what am I? A effin grocery store?

Your no angel - Saosin
Lates.
Take back everything you said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.

She said "Alright, Alright, slow down!"
Oh no, oh no, we won't.
Cause I regret every thing that I said
To ever make her feel like she was something special,
Or that she ever really mattered.
Or did she ever really matter?

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Sorry Yingting. I really thought I sent it.

Was watching Love Actually. Didnt watch from the beginning nor did I reached the end of the show. Was watching halfway thru, I cried! Not because of the show. Was thinking about stuffs. Life's so ironic. Sometimes its not there. Sometimes I felt its just around me. O well i guess i will just log in Audition and forget the world ;] Thats just me.

Sorry again Yingting.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
Hope you spent your Christmas well with your love ones. Love you.

This year's Christmas is the most boring one ever.

Situation - Escape the fate
Mmmyehkay.
P.S But then again, SMILE THRU THE TEARS BABY.
W00t. First few chapters of POA, Ive understood. Didnt thought I could in the first place. Still doing good. And im glad (:
I just hope I can have my computer at my study table. If not, i wont be studying at my study table at all! Thats nothing to keep me sitted there. I need my music, my com in there. LOL AND YES, my mom return my study table back to me. And nop, im studying in front of the compy now. >_> With the distraction from the television.
Not used to be like this, before my granny came, we seldom turn on the teevee. Got no trouble studying or reading in the hall. NOW. Its annoying you know. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. AND WE ARE ALWAYS HAVING A NOISE WAR. Man im soo mean =/ I know i knoww. But I couldnt help it.

I am a rather extreme person. Its either the best or nothing at all.

MY SIS GOT THE w850! Im so so so jealous ;P. I want either the 610i or that one I saw at Bugis and AMK. I forgot what model was it, but its Sony Erricson. Imma bug and bug and bug and bug and bug and bug and bug and bug my dad to buy. =]

Discovering the waterfront - Silverstein
Pretenditsnotforever.
Baiiee.
P.S Remember to get money from Dad.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

This is TRISH when shes bored.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Geees im such a dork LOL. CAN YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
W00t Going Compass point with my sis tomorrow. *Prays hard* dont see any familiar faces espically Hougang Plaza's peoples. LOL. Forever in my memory. HP Memories. Gees hard to forget. Whenever spoken of this place. XY and me will be like, *Eyes contact, smile secretly and giggles* HAR HAR HAR. SHIT.

Tell myself goodbye - Dead poetic
Sorrysosorry.
Laters.
P.S Morning. Morning. Bye bye. Baiiiee (:
21 days more to school. AHHH shat. Im dreading the day. The day I dont wish to come!

BASTARD! Made me wait for you again. >_> Like EVERYTIME. And yes im rather pissed. Haaaa. Was talking to him on the phone, KEPT ME ON HOLD. For like a freaking 34252345 mins. Okay shall not exaggerate. Hehehe.

Chatted with Michelle. OMFG Whats with the world and Naruto. And bleach. And all w.e cartoons. CARTOONS I SAY! Haaa ok i know its anime. ;P Still a good friend shes. Shits back then are nothing anymore (:

Spend the whole day at home today. Was tired out by the past few days. BUT I LOVE IT. I love days when Im busy. When im rushing for time. When my schedule is so full. But I havent had a day when im busy every hour YET! ;P

Im excited for my school U. LOL I wonder how will I look in the uni. Id look rather fat. IM GOING TO SCHOOL TO BUY BOOKS AND UNI AT 26TH. ANYONE DOWN? MICHELLE'S DOWN. ANYONE ELSE? Tell me soon (:

Somehow the school makes me feel like a girl's home, boy's home, prison. EVERYTHING'S SO OLD. Everywhere's pai kia. Gees. Even when we arrived there for enrollment, theres a BLACKOUT. Seriously, RENOVATE IT. I was thinking of a scene where Im soo urgent for a leak and I cant find the Ladies. -_- How will my first day of school be like? Will I be having lunch in the toiley? LMAO. Fuckcakes. W.e man just relax (:

I gotta poop now.

The saddest song - The ataris
Irememberwaitingforyoutocomeforyoutogo.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Woke up at 2pm today LOL. Yes I slept loong! But I was sooo worn out. =/

They at YT house gambling again. I dont wanna gooooooo. I HAD FLU SINCE THAT DAY. Never stop. And my flu's still on. Geeeeeeees.

School's starting for me. Iono whether to be excited or to dread that day. Im afraid. Everythings is new to me. Im a stranger to that school.
People that will be thinking. "How the new student looks like?" "Is the new student a girl or a boy?" "Is the new student tall or short? Fat or thin? Pretty or ugly? Geeky or cool? Guai kia or pai kia?" Then I walked into the classroom. "Why is she so quiet?" "She look unfriendly." "Shes so proud, she dont even smile." "She look scare."
I dont wish to be anti-social. Time to break ice. But im scare. Imma make everyone notice me. Could I? I prolly cant even open my mouth.

I looked at the Geography book. I used to had Pure geography. This Elective geography feature all Human geo. I DONT WANT. I love Physical geo. Maybe I should take History instead.
Two unfamiliar subjects. Biology and either Arts/POA or DNT. I havent choose frmo those three sub yet. DNT is out of my list. NO DNT. >_> Either POA or Arts. Mmm. My maths is bad but for Arts I dont have the tatics. I didnt take Arts previously. I had to know EVERYTHING I missed out a year. Like wtf? Cant I take back my subjects? But man, its okay.

I dont even know how to be a student anymore. I think I kinda forgot how to be a student.
LOL I had to ask my friends whether that have schoolbags and school shoes, for I was lazy to get them. NO POWER RANGER SCHOOL BAG PLEASE. Har har har.

The weather is so cold. Im freezing here in front of the com. But I love it (: Always love decemeber.

FLOW 'Thank you' christmas party 23rd Dec @ Gashaus!

I caught fire(In your eyes) - The used
InyoureyesIlostmyplace.
P.S Do you STILL love me? Do you still need me? Do you still want me.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Ahhhh freaking tiring, exhausting, sicky day for me. I havent slept since yesterday and.. TIL NOW! Well firstly, Im sorry I had spoilt the whole 21st outing =/

Called school in the morning. Afternoon went for job interview. YT got the job!
And went to Ajisen ramen eat. CHEATED! Not nice at all =/
Michelle called Si Ling Sec for me. And thanks to her! They accompany me to Si Ling Sec and told XH that we going anymore =/ Sorry girl.

The Indian clerk is RUDE. Hum my brain is kinda retarded now i'll just summarize. Principle interviewed me, I didnt know what to answer cause my brain went blank. I was nervous and worn out. I didnt had sleep remember? So yea BUT suprisingly she accepted me! I WAS SO HAPPY. Well not really happy. The school is old, dirty, creepy, haunted-looking, pai kia all around. Id rather go back to Woodgrove Sec than Si Ling Sec x_x

After that still not going home yet! Went to Woodland center play pool til the night. IM SO TIRED. And NOTE! I had flu for the WHOLE day.

-

Came online, what a suprise. Ehh dont know how I felt either cause all I felt is tireness now.
But thats all? Is that all? Im sorry? Just that? The word 'sorry' dont mean anything to me. Cmon. Just say all you gotta say thats all. You had a girl, you dont love me anymore, you dont want me, this relationship aint working out, you have a good life now, you fell in love with someone new. What else? W.e anything! Its not like I will get all mad.
Is that all? Dont you have anything else to say to me? Anything else except sorry?
Mmm kk imma sleep.

Discovering the waterfront - Silverstein
AFRAIDOFSCHOOLLOL.
So disheartening. Fuchun sec, my only hope?

Screw Limbin. Pissed off.
Effin WGS made me wait until the last minute. TODAY IS THE CLOSING DATE YOU KNOW. Fucking shit. I dont wanna waste any more years.

Seriously I DONT know what to do. I got enough on my mind right now.
The new version of Blogger in beta is dead!
Long live the new version of Blogger!
(P.S. The old version of Blogger is not dead, but it would like to retire for a little while... maybe go to Hawaii or play World of Warcraft all day? It begs you to let it play World of Warcraft all day.)

I read this at the notice. I find this rather funny for no reason.

My mom said, life is a gamble. So so true. So fine. I will gamble today. Ive just sent an email to those schools, hoping they will give me a reply. Or double action, give them all a call. x_x My wish for christmas is to study again. =/

Why did I waited so long to settle this. I should have done it so long ago instead of fighting for useless stuffs over the net.

Lates.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Mmm I feel so hopeless.
Wasnt suppose to sleep just now but I got so fed up and so screw up to my brain.
I dunno how to say, I dunno what to say. Guess I stop here. And yes I cried myself to sleep.

Limbin also so irresponsible. She said to help me. Msg her, didnt reply. Why DONT I need the application form? Where should I go now? What should I do now? I really dont know. Tomorrow is the last day? Screw that.

I feel so helpless now. Guess I'll just turn to god. The only option left. Tomorrow I will just try again. Hope everything turns out just fine. I feel so lost.

Anyways, the treatment is back again. My mom said she could claim. Called for appoinment. Its on January. Man w.e.

Will they give me a chance? No more time left.

Forget it - Breaking benjamin
kkthxfuckyoubai.
P.S I cant see anything now.
Ahh signing in blogger, never been easier. Finally.

Been playing for three days straight! Slept at 8am today and woke up at 11am. COULDNT SLEEP. So much chittery chats, loug banging pots and pans in the living room. Not chittery chats, SCREAMING AND YELLING.
Fine i'll just get OFF bed.

I was suppose to go to school to ask about the enrollment for next year. I guess I got lazy and tired. So i pass. I called the school to ask. Freaking stupid clerk said to call me back again to tell me. STILL NO CALL! I called again. Faggt clerk thinking I was stupid or something. She said, " Im sorry, the pervious clerk that answer your call isnt here now. I will call you back later." What do you think? Im dumb or what? Dont you think I could regconise your voice?! Gees you think you think all clerk in the world have the same freaking 'cute' voice? Man, I KNOW ITS YOU OKAY. So call me back!

YT coming home from camp YAY! Tomorrow is teh 'MINI' gathering for christmas. How mini is a 30+ people gathering? Anyways I dont really wanna watch a movie ._. The only movie I wanna watch now is DEJA VU and not anything else. But I guess I will just go along with it since everyone is down. Unless XY dont wanna watch either, then I and her just chill together and let them go watch ;P

Yesterday, playing Audition, theres this guy I find interesting. After that, he asked for my MSN. AND FUCKING A! Hes like, Trish? YOUR IN MY MSN LIST! I was like FTW?! Whats your name o_o! I cant even remember who he is. After knowing that, I dont find him interesting anymore LMAO.

Anyways, CALL ME MISS CLERK. Dont make me waste another year. Another year gone means EVERYTHING TO ME. Cause I cant go back to high school anymore.

Forget it - Breaking benjamin
CookiejellypeanutbutterjamMmm.
So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.

Monday, December 18, 2006

W00t! I got 5x perfect combo in Audition. Gees! (:

Now I know why my mom always run out of her room to scream at me in the middle of the night to tell me to sleep. LOL Today she stated that my laughter at the early dawn is always eerie and scary. She says the sound of laughter is not me at all. Its like im posessed of something. I was like WTH?! I didnt realised it. I always put on my headphones. My dad says, the laughter sounds like crying rather than laughing o_o. Now I know why...

Kamikazee - Narda
Cookiejellypeanutbutterjam.
Talked to someone today. He remind myself about my past, about him.

Why am I here? Why am I staring at the empty screen? Why am I staring at the memories of him? How have I gotten like that?
From kaz3ro to him. From him to nothing.

I just feel so sad. So sad. Sometimes I wanna give up. Can I face the world?

Tanging hiling ko sa'yo
Na tuwing umu-ulan
Maalala mo sanang may
Nagmamahal sa'yo. Ako.

Sabihin mo na - Top suzara
Kthxbai.
P.S I realise I always listens to pinoy songs when im sad ._.
Puso'y nagdurusa nangungulila
Iniisip ka 'pag nag-iisa
Inaalala mga sandali
Nang tayo ay magkapiling
Ikaw ang gabay sa aking tuwina
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw
Tanging ikaw

Makita kung muli

=(

Sunday, December 17, 2006

I wish things didnt turn out this way. It could have been better if that didnt happen. Could have! Theres no one to blame for this. And I definately still hate myself.

Still waiting. I have a lil hope from you.

No trivia - From autumn to ashes
Lates.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

LOL I remember when taking this picture. "Shssss" LOL

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

<3
Yesterday, at AMK pool, YT drop her cue down to the second floor LOL So embarassing and that auntie at the counter called her AH BOY HAHAHHAA.

Woke up at 4pm today. Went to meet them. Mmm boring day. Pool, home.

I wish i wish i wish.. Mmmm. ;[

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Nah not Lan. Not gon' happen.

Woke up SO early today. Not really early but ITS STILL EARLY FOR ME. Didnt catch a wink that night. Blur blur walked out of the house, walked reaching the bus-stop, turned and walked back home again. Left my wallet at home <_<
WOOT I was first to reach! Muahaha first yo! Had breakfast at CWP. Mmm took a cab to the zoo. LOL YT keep fooling LY about Eragon.

Reached the zoo. Cant find Ah bee, cant go in. After hanging around for 30mins, we finally went in. BUT IT RAINED! So heavily. They were all thinking how to go to that resto to interview, I was looking around, fascinated by the parrot. I was all telling them, SINCE we went in free as visitors, LETS GO HAVE FUN ;D!

Went to the interview first, pay wasnt that good, environment far than what I've expected. So naww i pass.
Sometimes I hate myself for having a short-term memory. -_- Like now. I COULDNT remember most of the things that happenned today. But overall the day was fun. And really funny.

After the zoo, PY went to school, LY YT and me went AMK. Took the bus. Slept 60% of the ride. Well dozed off. Play pool. Eat. Sat 169 home. O.M.G We got surrounded by Indians! Beside me was a FOUR TIMES MY SIZE Indian. Behind my friends are all Indians. Beside, behind, infront all Indians! Looks funny, sounds funny, smells funny, felt funny. Humm yeh. Not being racist BUT its funny really... ... .. its funny. Slept 90% of the ride.

Reached Woodlands. Sat 912. SAW Yiling again. Saw her two or three days ago on 963. Shes still so childish. I guess her thinking never changed much. Still the little girl I known. Seriously, I began to think that shes a retard ._. She once tried to use a chair to hit me in school. Jeez. Talk shit. Cry at little stuffs and shit. Just because she wanted that crayon. Seriously. Tried hitting me with a chair because of a crayon... ... Man.

I dunno if I wanna go out tomorrow. No money. Not a single cent left.

Yay! Kai bought a pressie for me for christmas! And the best thing, its from my favourite store! HOT TOPIC! AWW so nice of her.

Boo out.
P.S Does he remembers me?
Funny day. I havent laughed like this for centuries!

Were suppose to meet up at 2.30pm. I procrastinated. Drag til 3.15pm. Went up the escalator, saw ZhiAn. He looked shocked when he saw me. Ooo the drop out girl. Mmmm went to CWP, lunch. But I didnt eat.

"NI WU RU WO!"
"Bao zha lian, bao zha Lin."
"Fatti"

LOL on the train, YT and I were playing with THAT NECKLACE YT gave me T_T And she was threatening to pull it off my neck. Was like FINNEEE! *Pulls myself* Then she threw the diamond ACCIDENTELY into my cleavage. The three of us was like, *Freeze* 1,2 seconds. *BURST OUT LAUGHING!* And of course I COULDNT DO ANYTHING TO GET IT OUT. Seriously, I could swore I saw four to five people staring at me and smiling so broadly, trying to cover their smile. Jeeeez. "Do you feel cold?"

Ahh, we suggested catching a movie. "Bu yao kan le la bu yao kan le la." LOL we kept irritating each other. "Okay wo men qu kan si, share share." "NO" After playing around, we finally bought the tixs. AHHH MY EIGHT DOLLARS #@$%#$%$ I keep grumbling about it from the Secret Recipe until the cinema.

Watched Eragon. The movie is nice but the story aint exciting enough. Its like mmm a typical old english fantasy movies. War and stuffs. But still nice. The draggie so cute! I STILL WANNA WATCH DEJA VU THO!

Went Paradiz play pool, lost everything! So lame, hurry back to PS and yayyy we had CARL'S JR! OmaLIFE! Effin burger soooo HUGE.

Kk made too much noise in the train. Got a feeling that everyone is irritated by us. They went YT house gamble, I went home. Ahh home sweet home.

Bai.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Jeeez. The moment I wake up, my mom immediately started nagging at me about my capital card. Ask this ask that. Then her pointless ranting starts. Complain about my granny. Complaining complaining! I just woke up! Gees.
Would you look far into the distance and say my name?..
I reminised. I miss. I long for... your return.
What ever happen to you?
Sometimes I wonder, where did that letter go?

Will you ever come across this page?
Will you visit it every once in a while?
What made you so heartless?
Your voice and laughters still rings in my ear.
Your smiles still carved deeply in me.

I miss the life.
I miss the colours of the world,
can anyone tell me where I am?

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?

Away from the sun - 3 doors down
Bai.
P.S Good luck in your life. I will take care. For you.
Laser treatment cancelled.
Sentosa tomorrow cancelled.
Mmm wtfack?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Mmm songs do actually affect my thinkings and my way of writing my post.

When a sense of personal identity is in question and anti-social behaviour or even alienation can result.

The critical points in life.
12-18 months old; mistrust
18 months to 3 years; shame and doubt
3-6 years; guilt
6-12 years; inferiority
12-18 years; confusion
19-40 years; isolaion
40-65 years; stagnation
65-death; depression

People who suffer from nutritional deficiency, imbalance on behaviour can actually be found not guilty if he killed a person; insufficient to impair normal brain function and substantially reduce sense of responsiblity.

I was wondering, are most perfectionist pron to depression? Are most people whos suffering from paranoia, tend to be a perfectionist? Mmm just a thought.

Mmm went out with him today. Iono. Why am suddenly so quiet? Doesnt happens with others. Tho when we splited ways, felt a little "she bu de"? Mmm.

Anyone wanna tell me whats the proper english word for "she bu de"? -_-!

People are tend to be afraid of stuffs that they lack of information or knowledge of.

From Pearlyne's blog.
"Day was good yesterday. talked under my block for like hours.
which was pretty good.
trish, i really hope you take our words seriously.
even tho the road coming for you is tough, we will always be there to help.
DETERMINATION KAY !"

<3 thanks.

Honestly what will become of me
dont like reality
Its way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Traveling
I only stop at exits
Wondering if Ill stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I dont cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

Failure by designer jeans - From first to last
Ciao.
P.S Why do they bedwet?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Mmm what can I say. I am tired. I never felt this happy and good in this year. But I need money now <.<
After going for gambling, we cycle around, went under pearlyne's block, sat there blow wind LOL The fack? Blow wind? Kk whatever. We taaalk til like its 4am. I love the coldness and the laughters <3 Talked bout lots of stuffs... Mmm.

Cycle to 888, supper. OMAEFFINGAWD! I CANT STOP MYSELF. YT is always making me hungry. !!! Whatever <.< =[

Whatever you treat me as, dont effin care. I'll just stick around.

To trxie and reptile, thanks - Chiodos
Lates.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

This morning when I woke up, walked into the living room, saw a hamplet or w.e you spelled it. My uncle from London sent a gift for us! It contains a red wine, AND FRIGGIN EIGHT BOX OF CHOCOLATES! FUCKING A! I was stuffing myself with chocolates LOL oh no!

Went to 515, meet them. Came my house after dinner. Gambling again. O.m.g. When will they stop. Addicts. Gamble their life away one day.

Dont wait - Dashboard confessional
Peace.
P.S Mmmkay, fine then.
While I was trying to get to sleep yesterday night, I was like shaking my feet and fidgeting alot. Then suddenly I heard a sound. Its like a laughter but not really a laughter. "Wu ha ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" Then I freezed! I dare not to move a single bit LOL wtf man wtf! Then I lay still for like more than an hour til my sis came home. Gees <.<

Your not alone - Saosin
Ciao.
Picxy leech from PY's blog.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
ZULIA!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Sent Lan a msg, doubt he would reply.
Maybe hes really in trouble ._.
Should I be sorry?
Could I be sorry?
Am I wrong?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Bah. Sick of insincere peoples. How do you expect me to give you an answer with all that bullshit. BULLSHIT I SAY! TOTAL BULLSHIT!

I cant seems to stop or distract myself from my cravings. Everyday, I just feel like having a FEAST! I keep sayin tomorrow. Will stop soon, will stop. But NO! Tomorrow never ends. O gees, just gimme a feast ._. What? Chocolate, Ice cream, some fried, greasy stuffs, AJISEN RAMEN! ANYTHING! Maybe I should just go chew on something. Meh.

My migrane starts again o_o Hate it when it comes. Its the left side this time. I always tilts my head to the left when I walk. Just trying not to move my head too much. LOL reminds me of Andrew.
"I think when I shake my head too hard, my brains are knocking against the skull, thats why my head hurts. Oh no I cant stop shaking my head. THERES A SOUND! I SWEAR I HEARD MY BRAIN!"

Weeeh! I got the full season 4 of Family Guy. Love STEWIE! <3~
The faÇade innocent, harmless seeming baby.

Stewie Griffin: Up! Stewie wants to go uppie! Mmm, mama's skin's so soft...
Lois Griffin: Oh, aren't you affectionate tonight. Well,let me give you a kiss...
Stewie Griffin: Another! Another! Mama has candy kisses!
Brian Griffin: All right, that's enough!
[laves the table in disgust]
Lois Griffin: Stewie... did you unhook mommy's bra?
-
Stewie Griffin: [shouts] Oh, my God, Jeremy's still in the trunk! How long has it been? Two weeks.... ... Nope, hes dead.
-
Stewie: HA! Thats so funny I forgot to laugh! Excluding that first "ha".

Bite to break skin - Senses fail
Bai.
P.S I love the necklace YT gave me. LOL.
P.P.S When will all this end.
...
I'll just hide away and pretend I have my own life thingy going on.
Sick of this.
How many times? I lost count.
It keeps happening.
Im damned. Damned forever.
I see no end to it.
I see no salvation.
HURTZ, go screw off.

Friday, December 08, 2006

SICK.
Not really. Just suffering from EXTREME flu, headache, cough.
LOL I got my cough from YT and YT got her flu from me! You die I die!

After reaching home from YT house, sit a while then went out again. Late again! Woops. Meet PY at Yio chu kang, went to PS. Go Ajisen Ramen eat! Sooo nice ;P I was hoping the spicyness will stop my flu >.> It did! Only for like 30mins. Then went to the carpark to smoke. LOL and in the carpark theres those carrefour trolleys. We took one and YT climb into the trolley and sat in there. She said, "PUSH ME PUSH ME" I pushed her on the slope and let go LMAO she screamed soo LOUD HAHA. My turn! Friggin YT didnt hold on to the trolley AND I HIT THE WALL >_> Fun fun! Make a scene at the carpark har har.

Went Foxx. PY and LY TOOK sooo long to choose a piece. In the end, the decision was the first one they tried -_-! Blah blah blah, walked to paradiz, played pool. The flu is killing me every minute. Went to eat tou hua. Walked back to MRT station. Was deciding to go YT house again. NO i feel so sick. So we went seperate ways, they went gambling again ._. Fun day tho I feel sick. It would be a better day if I werent sick!

Mad at XY. Ask you out, your always busy. Wen you ask me out, im always down for it. Hmph. Tomorrow, if im still sick, I WONT GO HMPH! Drinking is no more fun anyway.

Ahhh havent finished my book. YT DONT GO CAMP AND KL ;__; What am I gonna doooo without youuuuu! After we got the wheel, LETS RIDE TO ANG MO KIO! I know tha wayyy!

GEE, SARS IS BACK. Headache, flu, coughs. LETS SPREAD IT AROUND, FUCKING A!

You and I both - Jason Mraz
Ciao.
P.S Please please please.
P.P.S Now I feel lkie vomitting.
Just reached home from YT house. Yesterday went to her huse and disturb them while their gambling ;P Then after that me and YT went around looking for bicycle. Lol seriously, we found two and both only managed to screw off one side, the other side is too tight. We ride to fragrant wood, finally found one I MANAGED to screw off both side, then were sooo close to getting it, friggin someone yelling from above "OI! OIIII!" WASTED! So funny.
Tired, head ache plus FLU. LOL my ass hurt. Slept at YT house. Lazy to blog nowadays.
BROKE =[

Your sword versus my dagger - Silverstein
Lates.
P.S MONEY PLEASE.
AHHHHHHH NO! Mission FAILED! <_< WO BU GAN XING! Fill in the details later. Wont be back til morning ;_;

Thursday, December 07, 2006

No treatment, maybe.
For you handsome ;3
Gusto kita, sbi mo gusto mo rin ako, pede ba tyong mainlove sa isa't isa! (:

Walking at night, alone - Armor for sleep
With loves.
Effin annoying Jin Wei. Stop acting like I want you. I DONT. LIKE "PEEE-EE-YOUUU"?!?!
Sick fag.

Woke up at 6am today. Went online and 'wake myself up'. Shower and went swimming with YT. Yes swimming LOL Dont comment ;P No sun! @#$@#$ WHEN I WANT IT TO RAIN, IT DOESNT RAIN. When I need the sun, it doesnt come. I misss my skin colour ;[! I miss how people say i look like a Malay LOL ;3 Yeh its true!
Then me and YT try walking to Khatib MRT station from those blocks. LOL so fun. I love walking in places I dont know AND when its cold ;] Seriously I miss the coldness like just now! So cold, so nice. Walked around at CWP. Still cold <3
Quickly rushed home.

Went to skin centre with my mom. OMG she seems more nervous than me. Sometimes I think she needs to learn to calm down, she cant think clear like that. Like what happened at NSC, the paper had my queue number, she didnt notice it and "panic". I was like relaaaax got queue number right. Mmm one session is around 250$ and I need around fice sessions. I wanna know if she can claim the money back if not im NOT doing the treatment tho she is willingly to pay for me. Cause its too expensive, dont wanna spend those unnessary money. It doesnt affect me at all.

Dont know if I wanna go YT house, im tired. IF I DID! IMMA SNEEZE AT YOU! LMAO.
O yar, I have to go ._. Accompany YT steal bicycle wheels -_-
Sweet revenge muahaha >D

Secrets dont make friends - From first to last
Lates.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

AHHH Hidir let me see a video on youtube. Made by RO screenies and a sad melody from simple plan - untitled. ;__;!! Stop rubbing into my wounds. Nice video ;|

Swimming cancelled!
Decided to go to school and ask about my enrollment for next year. Dug out my w.e cert and report book and meet YT and pearlyne. LOL YT went straight to POOP at vista point toilet. Mmm went to school, the clerk said that the next year NA is full. I was yeh kinda disappointed but they told me to try again after the N level results is out. Imma go back at 20th. LOL Saw Big MOLE lee! He stills remember me. Chatted with him, was funny. He dont seems 'fierce, guai lan' as before. Prolly cause I had grown up and wasnt rude to him at all! And I was like if I come back to this school, must LOOK AFTER me OKAY! Lofl ;3 The clerk remembers my name and ah hok remembers me! He walk past, I was like AH HOK! xD Then YT said, "Your dad ar? Like that call."
Mmm hang around in school til like 2+ then they wanted to play badminton. I was like hummm, o...k. Then YT went home to get her racket, when she came down I told her, errr lets not. LOL then we all went home.

Darren talked to me on MSN. Mmm well. Got no comment on this ._.
Hindi kita mahal. Thats all.
You want me to like you. I dont even know you. When we talk, you dont talk about your stuffs. All you did is to reply about the stuffs that im talking to. Or give opinion about it. Seriously, I dont know you.

Mmm went to CWP to have dinner with LY. Got took up. And I forgot to bring my HP out <.< On the way back, saw my ex primary school classmate. Hafiz. I dont think he recognise me so I didnt try to say hi. Was soo geeky, tomboy LOL back then. I used to like him back then, he was soo hilarious xD When I reached home, realised that LY tried calling me many times, I guess it wasnt her fault so yup, aint mad nemore.

Gotta sleep soon ;3
I actually had lots of stuffs to rant about today. But I just pretty much fill in the better stuffs rather than listening to my rants all day --;
I feel fat, I am fat.
Tomorrow.
Peoples in the mall.
I miss you.
Im lovin the RoseRO community.
Humm new E-buddy from SINGAPORE. w00t
Mmm criminology, psychology.
Lets fall in love, kie?

Motion city soundtrack - When your around
Deuce.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


AHHH Buushit! I thought I had a possibility that I would hear from Lan again. Chatted with Abigail today. I asked her if she heard from JP. She said no but she plays with Rye on other servers. I was alll like, DO HE KNOW LAN?! Help me ask him about Lan! Omg pls pls pls plssss!" But buuuushit, she said they had no communication.
-
I wonder, why I dont hear there being a Black serial killer.

Reinventing the exit - Underoath
Lates.
P.S My mom is funny.
P.S An older a person gets, the younger she gets at heart.
Meaning = Childish/immaturity.

Mmm. I am pissy today. LIKE for most of the little thing nails me.

My granny say the stupiest stuffs ever. Theres no more fruits in the house except for those on the altar. Then I wanted to get the apple. She said AH MEI AH! BUAY SAI LA! [YOU CANT GET THOSE] She even ask me to throw two coins on the floor, and ask the god if I could eat those. JEEZ why do I have to ask something that I dont even believe in! But I obliged. >_> Should I even ask it if I could shower, if i could have lunch, IF I COULD DIE?! The fack.
Im god, worship me.
No reason thing. Theres no scientific proof to any of that. People who pass down stories thru a book or w.e shit, the stories have prolly been nurfed, changed for who-knows how many times. And I couldnt be sure, I dont even talk to the person who wrote those books. A MYTH A FRIGGIN RUMOUR. So what if i just took my apple? BITE ME.

Went downstairs and buy food for my sis. I waited 40mins, before that, I told her not to put any veggies. 40mins past. I took them up. Open the lunchbox. Friggin veggie everywhere. Theres only like three mouthful of noodles. Seriously, I got soo pissed that I went back down, "Another packet of noodles, NO INGREDIENTS PLS."

Some MSN friends are so annoying too.
Darren called me for dinner, and I agree at first, but it rained heavily and I feel lazy, so I cancelled it, and he got mad.

Hindi kita gusto, so tigilan mo na ako. Sa mga CORNY mong joke! At hndi ako nalulungkot kung hndi ka na nagtext skin >.> ASA KA.
Sry BUT im MAD.

Shotgun - The outline
Deuce.
P.S I took the apple without asking IT.
Weee my mom bought that book home!

For some reason theres some weird bruises that appear when i woke up and I dont remember why. Jeez.
I wish I had someone to waste my life with.
Humm, my post is getting shorter and shorter. And thats a good thing o_o

The ransom - Escape the fate.
Deuce.
P.S Im hungry ._.
P.P.S Im in the process of freaking myself out at home. I WISH MY MOM IS HOME.

Monday, December 04, 2006


W00t! Cant wait til its 21st of December! Our celebration for Christmas! But then again, I aint christian. So why should I celebrate.. Humm every festival to me is like a reason to have fun! A reason to parteehh ;3 A REASON TO PIG OUT laaawl.
I heard there will be like 30+ PEOPLE going out LOL Jeeeeez. I NEVER gone out with sooo many friggin people before w00000t its soo gonna be fun ;P
And I hope Sufi is there LOL. I know i know! DONT COMMENT ON THAT HAHAHA.
And I heard Sufi is working there too! Sooo glad to have him working together.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeee YT came back from HK LOL. Im sooo the first to know. When she log on MSN I was like, "O SHIT!" *Spam* YT YT YT Y TY TY TYT YT YT!@!#!@# Then she went offline without replying. I was guessing her compy HANGED ROFLMFAO!

Buuuhuuu I want something to happen. W/E IT IS, JUST HAPPEN! I dont care.

Failure by designer jeans - FROM FIRST TO LAST
Deeeeuuuuce.
Can i just be something
Somewhere in your room
That you wont notice
Maybe ill be paper
Or books thrown on your floor
Move me when you want to
Ill live where you put me
In your VCR
If i become a cassette
Or on top of your computer
If thats where i would fit
Then so be it

I will not say one word
Ill just hang around
I wont annoy you at all
When you move out ill stay
Until im thrown away
But then it wont matter

-

I wish something happened..

The truth about heaven - Armor for sleep
Deuce.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Ahhh! Wheres Abli!

"I like stuffs in my punani." LMAO! Moron.

For once, I wasnt thinking.
I should sleep now.

Theres no sympathy for the dead - Escape the fate
Baiee.
Just came home then log on msn, Kai was like, "You broke up with Lan ya?" "Yup was like a month ago." "I can date you then!" Lawl! Hahaha.

Anyways, I just came home from Discussion. Well it was boring. We finished the drink at 1.30am. Then was like omg its still so early. Then bum around til like 2am+ I couldnt take it. Its so boring so I wanted to leave first. Then I and Darren walk around orchard slowly cause I didnt want to go home YET! Seriously im uber bored. Walk walk walk talk talk talk tilll mcafe. Sat there talk talk talk til its like 4am. Then my eyes are sooo red! Damn contact lens. Ahhh gotta get a new one. $_$

Seriously I havent slept from yesterday's gamblings at PY house cept that two hours nap in the afternoon til now! And I dont feel a least tired. Ok blah blah blah.
MY EYES!

Laters.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

PY'S KITTEH SO CUUUUTE!
And and her mousie's babies are soooo TEENY! Like an inch. I sooo wanna squeeze it. Humm i didnt just said that.
-
*Sigh* =/
After things changed, things still seems to suck.

Stop the fuckin car - Circa survive
Baiee.

Friday, December 01, 2006


Tumour Forward
Right, read this:

"Dont care how important u think u r..read and repost this if you dont believe it, call the number. Everyone needs to take the time and read this. Just take a break from all your other stupid bulletins about who is gonna die or if your love life will suck for 7 years and be serious and do the right thing. Repost this or you have no soul seriously. A kid needs our help so do the right thing.

Hi, my name is Matt Dawson. I am 23 years old, and I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isnt fixed, and my family cant pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is reposted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who dont repost it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE REPOST THIS MESSAGE AS "READ PLEASE"!


Matt Dawson
602-999-7996 Home

Please feel free to call me for anything.

*hey it wont cost you but 10 seconds of your time*


I wont name who sent me this, but they wasted a good 15 seconds of my life by doing so. I shalnt turn this into a rant about forwarded messages, thats been done before. Rather, Im talking about this particular forward. For those who dont receive enough of this shit already, this is actually an exact copy of another fake forward doing the rounds. The only difference is the pretentious, patronising, holier-than-thou opening paragraph. That and the addition of a phone number. What arrogant fuckwit is going to think people are stupid enough to actually call it and check that this forward is genuine? "O yeah, Ill just call an international number I got in a forward to check to see if this email I forward to everyone will actually give this guy his whole 7 cents." I might as well send him a cheque equal to the cost of the phone bill I would have made; Id be making a bigger donation that anyone else (seeing as theirs would be absolute fuck all).

And what does "Please feel free to call me for anything" mean? Why? Why would I call? "Hey Matt, hows it going, still got the tumour? … Oh, no reason, I just got an email from someone telling me you had a brain tumour and that I could help give you 7 cents by forwarding it to people, and it handily included your home number. This is the right number, right? … Oh. Should I try his mobile? … Matt Dawson? … You dont? … Ah … Well, I suppose I should have guessed it was a copy of another email I got yesterday… and yes, I suppose “Matt Dawson” is a really bad fake name. That, and Im thick as shit. Sorry."

And if youre talking to someone who thinks they are very important, try to use correct spelling and grammar. Its even easier to look down on you if you write like a five year old on ketamin. I mean, I manage to. And Fuck-button, you only use an Asterisk notation when theres an asterisk in the actual script.

Although I will say I like the apt description of other forwards as the other stupid bulletins. But to be honest, I personally think that a 23 year old who is relying on people forwarding his tale to fund an operation probably isnt really worth saving.thedailyrant.

Juturna - Circa Survive
Laters.

CIRCA SURVIVE! Mmm confusing is it a Band or the singer from Saosin?