Tinted window panes

I used to know someone who had an aura of righteousness around him but well, guess what?
I used to know someone whose moral compass never failed him but well, guess what?
Someone used to tell me that he would never had actions that would directly affect another person but well, guess what?
I knew someone who believed in love and never wavered but well, guess what?

We all like to have that perfect fantasy partner, when you see him for what he really is, what is the outcome?
These stifling emotions weighing me down everyday, getting tired, getting disillusioned.
The turning point when you stop looking through rose-coloured glasses.
Tired of the pain, tired of the thinkings.

This mess brought to me doesnt affect anyone else but myself. Consequences is enjoyed, but not by me.
Alone in this mess. The only person suffering from this, is me.


Is this what long-term couple is all about?
Leading seperate parellel lives apart from each other, dating another person behind each others back while proclaiming love and loyalty forever.
What a disappointment.

The chain of events initiated by one.

I wanna be touched.
I wanna be fucked.

I wanna feel wanted.
I wanna feel needed.

I wanna be lusted.
I wanna be chased.

I wanna feel important,
even if im not.

I wanna feel like a priority,
even if im not.

Every girl wanna be romanced.

Life #4

I cant remember when since I felt happy and fulfilled living in this world.
There is nothing holding me here anymore.
Really disappointed about everything that this place can offer.
There is no point in anything when knowing hope is just a sham that people seek solace to.
There is no perfect painted picture, there is no happily ever after.
I have no strength nor will power to overcome myself.
I need a new purpose.
Because the old purpose had expired and burnt out.

Because this is my year.