Maybe I should just go work. Sitting here makes me emo.
Lack of motivation to go on working =[

Im just a teenage girl without hopes and motivation x_x

I felt... deprive of.. life O_o
Fact is Im losing hope and motivation again.

Decisions to be made.

I called in sick for work today cause..... I got migrane, cough, flu. Excuses?! WEEE be chillen with my sisters later =D LOL
I be quitting that job by the end of this month i guess. Alphy msg me yesterday and want me back to work for him. Iono if I should.. I txt him and ask the details again. Cause it sucks if its on comission based. Iono when the hell would I get the money. Like the last time, tho I only went for two days I got 400$ but I took two months to get that money. But still... Iono.

P.S I love Lan.

And wtf some ass fag gave out my number to Bala. FFFFFUCK.

Sometimes I feel like quitting my job and start ROing full time again. Working takes up too much of my time. I cant even find time for myself.
But thinking of the end of the year keeps me moving again. I dont know if this distance thingy would work out but, im gonna keep trying even if it takes years. And I know that it will definately takes years. Cause Imma go back to school.... I think. >.>
W.e I hate to think much.

You see, I dont really look at babies and smile to myself like what most of them do. But this time I caught myself smiling when I saw this lil girl around the age of 3-6 with her daddy. I wasnt smiling because of how cute she was I was smiling cause her daddy and her are so cute together. Her daddy was soo sweet to his lil girl and so caring. They were so close. He really love his lil girl I could see it. I was so touched by just that customer. I caught myself thinking about him the whole day at work. Guys are charming when they are taking care of their kid =)

Eep havent posted for a long time, truth is I got myself back into the game. When I told Nurul bout this shes like, i swear im gonna bring a hammer to your house, dont skip working and say u wanna play games. Then shes like hey wanna eat after work? im like naw i wanna go home and play game LOL shes like dont give me stupid reason imma slap you.

Anyways, was listening to Rooftops-Lostprophets and I was standing at the stairway at the parapet wall looking at the sky before i went home. Cause it was so windy <3
And I havent be with myself for a long time.
Thought of Danny for a while.

Anyways gonna poop. Laters.
One week to payday o_o

A moment of torture.

OMG ANDREWWWW!

"I missed you"

"WHAT?! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHHA *SCREEN* YOU MISS WHO?"

I miss you toooo! Omfg you finally came on.

I will take another day as another step in my life.
My everyday's goal : Reach early for work.

A good start ^_^ Im actually feeling happy for myself for the first time.

Sometimes i think that the real reason i dont quit mai job is b.c i dont want them or mai parents to think that im that lil kid they use to know anymore. I dont want them to think that im just a screwed up teenager struggling to get some money thats all. Like I cant even withstand tireness and hardship. I wanna show them that I can. This is nothing at all, I still got a long way to go. And I wont give up until i die. A shit long way to go. If i cant even take this, how can I go on the rest of mai life =]
Thanks for giving me a reason to work.

I dont wanna be that screwed up teenager struggling anymore. Dont wanna be that fuct up kid playing around anymore. Dont wanna look back, getting drunk every night. [Before RO]
But sometimes I still wish to stay there, chilling everyday, hanging out at hp everyday ><
It was soooo chillaxing. But dont look back ;D

Hummm I suddenly feel strong wtf LOL
Goal of the year : Learn to love myself.

^_^ Today im happy. I will emphasize on it later =)

Work today was kinda boring but mmm relaxing for meh. I worked 11-7. And around 11+ I saw py and michelle passing by outside the resto im like wtf they didnt saw me? Then I was about to walk towards the entrance then I saw py walked backwards and looked in LOL.
And then blah blah blah.
Then at break time Mam Salli asked me if im Single im like yarrr? Im single and not looking. Then Nurul looked at me like I told a lie, well i did LOL But at my work place only Nurul knows about me and Lan. And I dont like to give out too much info about myself to others ==l
Then after that I heard Mam salli saying to Sir manjeet "Have you heard about the incident about two guys over one girl?" Im like jeez wtf o.o *bends head lower and continue eating*
Then break time I heard Mam salli saying to Mam Salome "... ... ... blah blah blah B and S." Im like shit wtf BALA?! heck no?! Then I was wondering whos the S. I was thinking of Sateya >_>
I rather it be Shalehan cause it be like WTF TWO INDIAN GUYS OVER ME ==;
What? Do I look indian or something?!
Then nearly the end of work, xh and my ex classmates came by to see me ;D! And I told mam salome that I aint looking for a bf and I aint interested at all. Cause she ask me to put on more make up cause i might find a bf here >_>
So annoying.

AND I reached home and OLA! HES LETTTER =DDDDDDDDD
I was soooo excited LOL but my sis seems more excited than me >_>
Cause im like, i open it after I finish smoking. Shes like keep on smiling there, wondering whats inside and keep looking at the envelope LOL. So kaypo ;P
Hehe I cried after reading it ;D I was sooo touched ^_^
Weee im "engaged" now LMAO hahahhahahahha ;P

P.S nice signature =D
P.P.S LOL cute handwriting like kiddy HAHAHAHHA

i suddenly feel lonely...

P.S k3ro is up o.o

I feel that if I wont msg him, he wont msg me in years. >_>
I wonder if I wont come online for weeks, he prolly forget me.

P.S this gives him a reason to msg -_-!

Rarely see him now =/

LOL the auntie ask me if I have a bf and I told her yup. ;(
Working's so boring recently. And stop that laughing and smiling >_>
Fucking immature. I already said I dont like him so stfu.

I miss him =/
Wondering where is he now, what is he doing right now.

Omagosh I was on my way home and i indeed saw the most grossssssiest thing of my life. Two cockroach are mating o_o Im like omfg one is enough, IMAGINE THEIR BABIEEESSS. Im like should I kick them? LOL
Work is effin boring today. ITS SUNDAY and the time passes so slowly. Swensens is so quiet today.
LOL damn sateya and bala -_-
I AM NOT INTERESTED. How many times do I have to say that >_>

"All of a sudden, pinoys are all coming over you."
HAHHAHAHAH funny shit.
I didnt realise until you say that.

Funny shit today, I forgot to zip my pants today LMAO
SO FUCKING EMBARAASING. I was in the bus then this MAN told me i didnt zip my pants. >_>
So boring working today. That newbie lost her bag after work LOL but i didnt see whether she found it or not.

OMFGWTFZORS
I slept yesterday at 4am and woke up at 8 am and i couldnt sleep anymore.
Then I went to work, IT WAS SOOO FRIGGIN TIRING. I was like spaced out half the time.
I was so tired. I done everything so slowly =/
Totally no energy to work. And I heard Sir saying "Not enough people today five peoples got MC, imma extend some." Im like shiit *prays not me*
Then after that Maam Salome told me, Today you work until 11 okay. Im like O.......k.
WTF 12pm-11pm WHEN I ONLY GOT SO LITTLE SLEEP.
And the funny thing is that at the end of the day, I quarrel with tha bish. LMAO. Bring it on bish. What you gotta say now.

P.S I like the way you touches me when you talk.
-Trys to feed me with baked rice ^_^
Btw I swear imma die of exhaustion if I dont sleep now.
-Still not thinking about it.

I've got my things, I'm good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it's done

We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation's come and gone too late
There's so much sun where I'm from
I had to give it away, had to give you away

And we spent four days on an
Island at your family's old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect...

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don't fly fast.
Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last?
This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised

I love the song Stars-Callalily ;D!
Funny thing is I even dreamt of that song and I caught myself humming it when I woke up.
Gotta work at 12 later and I only slept for three hours >_<
Imma go get a sim card replacement soon >.>

P.S-All old peoples are cute ;D
My granny is vegeterian and when we ordered a pizza, shes so excited to LOOK at us eating that LOL tho she couldnt eat it. She kept smiling when she look at us eat. So cute <3
Im gonna bring my mom and granny out some day =]
Poor mom =/

Sometimes words are just sweet lil lies.
-
Admit it, you got bored with me.
-
Wondering, why do I work so hard for?
Is it worth it? Do he even care.

A friend's betray is more hurting than losing one's love.

Cause your busy talking to her =]
Dont have to lie about it.

ZOMG, I just listens to all my old songs including technos o_o
*thinks back ;(*

I know when something is wrong.
I will not forgive anyone who lets me down. If..., its over.
Cant believe its a friend.

-I will still love you but I wont forgive you.

Here's what I know. There are some lines too dangerous to cross. But there are others…if you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for "Here are my heart and soul - please grind them into hamburger and enjoy.

Im stuck on Grey's Anatomy.

Weeeee new hair for myself

I dont wanna let fear ruin my life.
I dont wanna give up before I die.

I love the show Grey's Anatomy.

Breath - Anna nalick
2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him and winter just wasn't my season.
Yea we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites you're all here for the very same reason.

Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button girl
So just cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breathe just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it

Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button boys so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe, whoa breath just breathe

There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around

2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no lonmger inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, ohho breathe,

I still cant believe this is happening to our family.
How he be so irresponsible. What about us? You dont want your family anymore?
How can he be thinking of abandoning us in Singapore. My mom only take back 800$ everymonth. The household needs 1000+ already. My dad's cpf can only last for three more months then we have to pay on cash. Another 600+. How can my mother afford those. How can he be so irresponsible. If you wanna work for your brothers in Malaysia. How much are they gonna pay you? You didnt even ask them. You just let them take advantage of you. Your so selfish. When your working there, they treat you good, give you good meals. HOW ABOUT US HERE. I come home everyday from work without FOOD ON THE TABLE. Your there enjoying. Take home 500$ only? like what they used to pay you when I was only in Nursery. Stop working for them man. Go find a proper job. Your so so so selfish. I cant believe it. I still cant believe this is happening to our family. From young I used to think that we are a happy family. Why are we falling apart. How can you let my mom down. How can you leave all the burden to her. Im still 17. Im ONLY 17.

Err wipe again. I bet Ivan not gonna give me his gods at all since I piss him off the last time on msn LOL. But w.e dont wanna play nemore.

.... forget it, maybe its not meant to.

The days will pass me by

Omfg o_o Sateya told me Bala is courting me. Im like WTF heck no?
Then Sateya thinks i hate him. LOL Cause i really dont understand what hes talking about and he thinks im ignoring him. Then Im like, w.e I cant understand your indian accent.

Boring boring boring ;((
I love Lan muchies.

LOL yay! xh selling her mp3 to me ;D so happy. Omfg with my spendings I cant save up >_>
I need more songs ><
And I hope my cell would come back to me SOMEHOW LMAO >_>
so i dont have to buy it again, I still wanna buy some other stuffs ;(
Or maybe i should just stop my spendings -_-

Working seems so meaningless now. Didnt seem like earning anything at all.
Thought i could start saving from next month already. Fuck still gotta buy another phone. Its like im working for nothing the past one month. I work to buy phone for others. Funny.. >_>

Im sitting all day wishing i could squeeze something. Seriously I wanna vent my anger but i dunno how. Omfg its a friggin 468$ for that styz cell. My heart hurts soooo much. I WORK SO HARD DAMNIT. For nothing.
Mentally crashing right now.

I was crying all night yesterday, hitting my fist, screaming, cursing at whoever that took it. Cause that phone lastly ONLY less than two weeks. And its the fourth time i lost a phone. Ffuck. I wanted to call you so bad. But I realise that my house phone couldnt call overseas. Im like screw it. I didnt even shower yesterday I went straight to bed.

BAH fuck it. Its GONE. Gotta work more then to buy another phone for someone lucky again. >_>

Got so much to say. You aint there.
Effin crashing right now.

w.e man screw it. Not gonna buy a phone evur again. So meaningless... Fuckin waste of money. One month of hard work, one week of using phone. What a joke. Why is it always me.
Im seriously a good person. I buy phones for others. -_-

Honestly why did I even went out yesterday.
I hate myself.

And I will kiss you forever,

Lips of silence my favorite endeavour.

Feel my arms, wrapped around you,

Falling into the oceans of virtue.

I will cry if you die.

I cried already when you said that...
Prolly cause of the sad songs im hearing.
DAMNIT *switch playlist* stupid depressing songs

Lol that idiot. -_- Bala went to tell everyone he likes me. WTF like wtf man. Sowi i no like indian.
x_x was working 12-11pm today i even got a blister on my foot and the pay was so fucking little. Work so hard, so tired mentally and physically and the pay like shit.
Xy called and told me their going to drink tomorrow iono if im even going =/
I wanna sleep all i want, i havent slept that way for so long ;(
K3ro is up, im like w.e lol
I got a life now =]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SOO FULLL! Dont feel like doing anything. ANYTHING AT ALL.
Started off the day good. I was early and easy working cause theres sooo lil people. Then Mus was there first. Edward was happy i came early so.. like no one bitched at me today. Mam Jane was happy too. Nurul came at 12. Then Raju, Bala came in. LOL Bala >_>

And then everytime i walk by Bala, hes like @#$#$ in indian which iono wtf hes saying then Raju told me hes calling me dear. Im like WTF LMAOOOOO. Ew. -_-

Then the two new trainee came in. Nurul was like, omg that girl again. She thought shes modeling here, walking so effin slow when she works. Im like hahahhaha. -_-
Then the other new guy was called, Pokah. Im like What?! Pokah? *With a funny accent* "Pokah?" LOL So friggin funny his name.
Hes from Nepal or w.e it was. Then he taught me how to say hi in his language. Hi : Namaste.
Then I saw Bala Im like "Namaste" Then I pronauce it wrong hes like ITS NAMASTE NOT NAMASTA. -_- im like wtf you know it too.
Then I was like hey POKAH how do you say idiot in your language?? DONT TELL BALA!
Idiot : Bebakuf
Then after that was busy so i didnt went to talk to Bala lmao.

And woot. Three groups of friends came to look for me today ;3 First was Jocelyn and her friends. Then after that Einstein called me. Im like WOW Einstein?!! How he know my number cia. Then he wanted to meet up after work. Then im like ok we havent met for a long ass time.
Then after that yt they all came ;D! SUSHIIII O.m.f.g i swear i aint gonna eat another piece of sushi EVUR IN MY LIFE.

After work I went to look up for Einstein and jia wei Lol still the same cept his hair looks sick LOL. Then sushi blah blah and im here now half dead. -_-

And i love Lan. ;P

tentative favorita - 16th avenue
I LOVE this song, cant seems to find it anywhere ;((

Danny is dating an azn girl -_-

A million "I love you" cant express how much i feel for you.
I hope you know that i even bust off a real life guy because of you.

New month's goal, dont be late? Heck yea x_x
-
Bitch of the day, like foreal you aint my mom, dont tell me what to do, u fat bish.
-
Hold me forever.

Happee two months =)
I love you