_____________________________________________ Just listening to the voices...

Monday, May 28, 2007

HAIYER! We should have taken a ONE WHOLE group photo ;[ And I meant ONE WHOLE. The whole lot of us including the guys. SAD. Theres would be so many peoples!
Okay, tell me to get over the party. NO I CANT GET OVER IT!






























I regretted not taking more pictures. No pictures with the bartender as well. CRYS HAHA! From 1am onwards, I felt that theres like not enough time. IT REALLY LASTED SO SHORT!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Damn pimp yo.

Birthdays.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XUE YING!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Uncle Kenneth came to visit us for the last time before he leave for London again. It will be 2 years before he come back to Singapore. He talked to me. I had the same problems with him. I cried. I didnt want to but im still moved to tears cause its real. What he said was true. I didnt want to elaborate. Im still waking up from my drunken state. I only had one huge problem, and its not a inter-personal problem.
"Change the VICIOUS cycle to a VIRTOUS cycle."

Met up with them at 10.45pm. Yup I was late, I watched Condor of the Heroes before I left my house. I regretted leaving my house late. We opened four bottles of Chivas but I aint as wasted as the last birthday! But still it was fun, tho I felt that the night was very very very short. There are still "Yi han" left there. I didnt get to do what I wanted to.

I really appreciate them celebrating the birthday with me and giving me gifts. I was really touched. The fruit cake was good too, I had two pieces. ;P

The bartender, tho the previous one was cooler since the fight at Disc-cussion. But the new one was okay too. ;P Hee hee. Yi han?
The boss treated me well as well. I DO NOT HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST HIM OKAY!

Its fun, i enjoyed everything. ;] And yes, I love alcohol, I loses my inhibition to talk and socialize. I love it. I love the feeling of being confident, of being able to talk to people I dont know. I love Chivas!

I still hope to go Disc-cussion as frequently as the past few months. Its the place I feel good in. Well sometimes.

Thank everyone! You are in my heart! Tho I am really sorry to drift too far away because of my personal problems. I AM REALLY HAPPY!

My heart goes out to,
Ying Ting
Pei Yin
Xue Ying
Liyan
Michelle
Jocelyn
Lee Yun
Yu Jia
Xiao hui
Spencer
"Andy lau"
Ben
Darren
"Andy lau's sister"
Two of the waitress (Im sorry but I forgot your names, they even invited me to clubbing after pub. So nice of them, we didnt even talked alot.)
Ah Meng
Boss
Jeremy and her sis.
And the people who didnt came but had their greetings.

THANK YOU ALL for making this joyful night!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Rockstar INXS.

OH AMMM GEE!

Losing my religion by Suzie Mcneil

It was AWESOME! I had my goosebumps when I listened to it. ROCK ON! \M/

Baby one more time by Marty Casey
A pop song by Britney can ROCK too. Hit me baby one more time ;]

With arms wide open
MARTY CASEY! LOVES! Love his performace on this song. So touching, I almost cried!

Shit, theres a black man singing a rock song. THATS SO WEIRD AND FUNNY! I cant concentrate on the song hes singing, i kept smiling. Catch Ty taylor. Lazy to post link. Dont mean to be racist ;x

THANK JEREMY!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

TFB!

Two birthday postponed to Saturday.
-
BICTHES! At my work place. Been two days. Gees i say TFB! Two fat beesh.
From now, I DECLARE WARRRRR!
Gotta bring plasters to work tomorrow. >_>
Everyday to Macpherson Rd. God I need my 14 hours sleep. *Eyes black*
I overshot the bus stop and landed myself in Aljunied. >.>
-
I wonder if anyone who worked Mc with me 4 years ago remember this old malay guy who works Mc with us. Today, I was looking down from 161, I saw him crossing the same overhead bridge from Compass point, wearing the same Mc uniform. =/

Monday, May 21, 2007

Puked again. What an embarassment. Stood outside the carpark and puked everything I had right there. Err the lady that walked past looked scared. -_-
So.... I guess I was wrong. I was made a fool from the very start. Its still not late to realise. But im okay. I be okay. To know that I dont mean a thing from the very start.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sorry.

It was a VERY rash decision but since I said it...
Ahh well, I am sorry for hurting you so much for these few months. Cause you dont understand nor try to. I know my words are hurting and straight forward.
Now, I cant look at you or listen to your voice without getting irritated. You reminds me of the anger inside me.
After it ended, I dont feel like I've lost something, maybe I felt that your gone very long ago.
I still can picture your sad face and your back as you walked away.
Maybe I need time away from you.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Havent done any quality writings since the day. Will get on a new story. ;]

>_>

Went to dinner with Alphy. Watched Spidey man 3. I still dont understand why the whole world is so into it. Fucking 1m$ in just one day in Singapore's box office.
The whole movie was boring until the ending part. I sat til my back ache. Boring movie.

I guess I hasnt really change since 2003. Im a huge disappointment to everyone. At this point, Im still not ready to sit down. It seems like I lost directions of what im doing. When can I stop getting into trouble?

From autumn to ashes - Chroloform perfume
Lates.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Vomited after medicine. Bitterness.

NEW SPEAKER!

HAPPEE BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST SISTER ERNIES!
HAPPEE BIRTHDAY TO PEIYIN!

Concerning the previous post, no, I seriously dont dare to poop tho I feel it coming out soon.
My speakers, bitched up. Couldnt hear the guitars.
Headphones, bitched up. Wires.
My throat sore and dry from smoking.

From first to last - My heart your hands
P.S Punani for weeds.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Poopeh.

Yelled at my granny twice today. Its only 11am. Guess I do have the anger in me. DONT IRRITATE ME NIGS ;]
Another confession.
I dare not to poop. What? Yes, you heard that right. I dare not to poop.

Dream of colors.

Watched finished the series on Channel U every 10pm.
I first time I watched it, it was boring and "just another show". But I watched it just to waste the time. As I watched it subsequently, I cant stop!
Its a gooood show. Michelle, from no one to someone. The show is full of hopes. ;]
PLUS Nick and Michelle looks so cute together! <333

My wish is to witness a miracle and hope.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Happy mother's day.

Mom sent me an sms after she went off for work. I nearly cried reading it. My Mom is so mushy <3

"Is good that you channel your anger into your blog. Stay positive and revive your love in reading. Take care and we love you because you mean alot to us."

I love you too Mom. You mean alot to me too.

P.A.S.S?

XY, Seth, thanks for calling.

Me: "Why dont I feel any sadness after the op?"
Mom: "But you feel anger. Its just the emotions that is different."
-
I got a confession. I think......... the doctors put me to sleep and injured me. I got a bruise under my chin. EVIL DOCTORS! D:

Monday, May 14, 2007

Blood runs free.

I cant run, somehow it hurts.
I cant pee without thinking of that.
It is still bleeding.
The world is spinning.
Went for the op. Cute surgical robe. They lay me on a bed. I listened to the cadence of the nurses talking to the other patients. The repetition of "take off your panty now, the doctor is coming to put the medication." "Sleep first, you cannot get off the bed for 2 hours." Blah blah blah.
The nurse 'pokes' the cannula into my veins. As she is preparing the cannula, I nearly cried. I was so frightened of what to expect next the moment I stepped into the ward. When she insert the cannula in, its not as bad. The doctor came, insert something into my vagina. I had to wait for 2 hours before proceeding into the surgical room. Tried to sleep. Couldnt. Tossed and turned. Fucking cold.
Two hours passed. I went into the surgical room. Doctors gave me the GA. It works like a wonder. Like getting drunk but in a fast forward motion. I woke up. My tummy hurts alot, I was shivering uncontrollably. My teeth shaking away. I told the nurse I was cold. She say its the effect of the drug. It hurts to move. My back ached from lying too much. Finally it was over.

I walked out of the room. He greeted me by saying, "Where are we going to eat" over and over again instead of "You feeling okay? Does it still hurts? Do you feel like vomiting? Can you walk far?" You said your concern is me. MY ASS. Your concern is food. Are you so very hungry?
Over the months, tons of arguements. Not even a sorry. A sorry doesnt mean you are in the sorry. A sorry means making the girl happy. And stop being mad. But no.
Your biggest mistakes is to PRETEND THAT NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.
The arguements is a little matter compared to the baby.
You recieved the news. Pretend nothing had happened.
After the op. Pretend nothing had happened.

How I wish to hear, im sorry you have to go through this. Are you scared? Dont worry you be fine. Im sorry that this happened. But no. To you, NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.

Now IM the one who is suffering, and not you. So stop thinking of yourself only. Throw your HIGH HUGE ego out for a moment. And stop with that tone. Stop trying to lecture me. And PUSH all the blames to me. You are in no position. I AM SUFFERING NOT YOU.

Act like a man. Stop acting like a wuzzy.

This concerns the both of us and I am the only one who is suffering. Think about MY feeling. Try to push me away after I suffered all this because of you, not so easy let me tell you.
And when all this is over, I knew you would be quick to throw me away. You wouldnt even try. I wasnt wrong about you right. ;] Think carefully. The baby is gone doesnt mean im not a threat anymore. Im not the kind who will suffer in silence. Im not the kind who will suffer ALONE.

Think about what else could you have said that would change the way I acted. Stop pushing the blame around. This point, you pushing the blame around, is what my Dad is right. Indians change their talks quickly to put the blame around.

God I feel like im dating a kid.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Rainy monday

I dont mind,
you are someone who aint mine
but someone that I'll get.
And you dont know how hard Ive tried
to convince myself that I can easily forget.


But you left this feeling here inside me
One that never fails to find me.


On a rainy monday
A feeling inside me
Like the days of summer

On a rainy monday
I feel it inside me
In the hopes of one day

I wont lie,
I still cant say that I admit we went too far.
And you wont see me change my mind
but i really wish that i could forget the way you are.

I still feel you shine inside of me.
I am very happy. Not really good to say it here.
But im glad that I know something.
I know you are still who you are. You never change. I was wrong.
-
Tomorrow will be a scary day for me. I dont know how will I go through it. Even though I know I wouldnt find any comfort when im there, I know you will pray for me and hope all goes well.

Still loving you.
Mmm Laska, nasi lemak, char kway tiao, mee pok.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Uncle kenneth came back from London!

List of things he bought:
Three huge boxes of chocolate from hotel chocolat.
One Gucci perfume!
One box of Earl's grey tea. The one used in London hotel. 1k teabags.
One bottle of coffee powder. Nescafe. He said it taste different from the one in Singapore. o.o
One bottle of tropical pepper.
Three packs of gums.
A sovenir from Venice.

He talked to me. He went through depression before, he took the long way which lasted 5 years. And so he talked to me... Lots of stuffs.
No bees no hunny, no work no munny.

Deleted two kRO two sakray setup. Taking huge spaces on my D drive. -_-
Addicted to TVB! Canto teachers please ;]

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

200 pounds beauty.

Just finished watching 200 pounds beauty. A little too late isnt it? Got it off from youtube tho.
It is soooo touching! I nearly cried but I didnt.
I <3 her Dad. Hes cute.
I wish I could lose all these weight too. If I could be as pretty as her, I tell you I dont mind doing a whole body make over either. But then again, nah, it feels too weird.

I got the full album of 200 pounds beauty OST.
Msn me for the song.

Tracklist

01. Beautiful Girl - Kim Ah Joong
02. Byul - You Me
03. Maria - Kim Ah Joong
04. Dance With My Daddy - Alex of Clazziquai
05. You Don’t Know I Love You - U
06. Superstar - Loveholic
07. Tulip - Benny(Sang Sang Band) Feat. Jong Hwi
08. Miss You Much - You Me
09. Beautiful Girl(teaser Edit) - Kim Ah Joong Feat. Alex And
10. As a fool - Kim Hyung Joong
11. Byul(movie Edit) - Kim Ah Joong

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Ragnarok online

OMG GUESS WHAT I FOUND! The vocal version of RO's BGM! Listen to it RO addicts ;]

The original version.

Theme of prontera



Wanna be free!! [This is the BGM you always listen to during WoE]



Theme of Payon



The vocal version.

Theme of Prontera



Wanna be free!!



Theme of Payon




I got goosebumps listening to those. Thats how much I feel for it. I wanted to share these with someone like Lan. Someone that shared the happiest moments with me. Ahh i dunno what to say, I actually had so much to say.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Me:"Can you help me off the window? Its very bright I cant sleep. ... ... Off?"
*Shrugs*
Sis:"But its very stuffy in here, I on the other side of the window? ... ... On?"
*Shrugs*

-

Yesterday night, when I looked at the msg on the screen, I allowed my tears to trickle down and let out a whisper, "But without you..."

Everytime every moment I thought of him, there would be these thousands of glazing blades stabbing deep into my heart. Down under my throat feel like millions of unspeakable words plugg and jam right there as I struggle to catch a wisp of breath without having my vision blur. The lungs in the chest shrink to a air-tight rubber balloon. A movie will then starts playing in my head. A smile, a pair of eyes of longing, a feeling of happiness. My lungs feel lighter and my breathing turns perfectly normal. This is the point where I miss him even more dearly.
Days will pass, memories of him will camoflage into the surroundings, my mind will clear him out. And then once again, things, songs and images will once reminds me of him.

Do you feel the same way too?

Friday, May 04, 2007

The story.

"Tell us the story behind your favourite songs"

Yes there is always a story behind every songs. Man I love you Sony.
You read my mind!
-
Found a clip on youtube. Memories of k3ro. It isnt that video that counts. Its the comments and the people. Familiar names. Familiar feelings. Familiar words. I miss k3ro. Blind jota, haniel, the BRs quitted after k3ro. SEE I was sure it was the best server.
-
Delivery boy was cute.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

GIVE THE JELLY!

This shit hilarious. Audio by dane cook the comedian, anime;naruto. The anime just add the spices to his stand up. This clip has NOTHING to do with Naruto.

"Is that you? Monkey fucking a coconut sir? MFC is that you? MFC? Thats a monkey, it could be a melon and it looks like a coconut."

"I asked you do we have any jelly in the house? DO WE OR DO WE NOT HAVE JELLY! I will break your neck and pour jelly all over your body and pray to the GODS of jelly. AND BURN YOUR SOUL TO THE JELLY-LIKE HELL! NOW GIVE THE JELLY!"

Check this shit out.
Dont say I didnt gave you chances. I gave you more than enough.
The difference between trying hard enough and trying only when you feel like it.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

LINKIN PAAARK! The only artist, I bought every album.