I need you to be my atmosphere.

The past few days was high on emotions.
It was love.
These two/three days, I was smiling silly, day to night.
Jumping around, chattering bulls and shits away, getting all high with the happiness that your around.
Althought, there are times I was about to start throwing my anger around, but hey I didnt.
You gotta admit my temper is going better. (I gotta wake up early more often)
Just looking at you reading the newspaper, listening to your teases, sniffing a wiff of your natural scent, feeling your body, I feel, different. The world around has been numbed. Its just us.
I accept your everything and embrace your all.
I might say, days are longer and boring.
I just wanted to let you know that without you, even the joy means nothing.
I might act so tough, like a man, like all the badass-rocknroll-tattoo-arnoldschwarzenegger-terminator-gangsta, who acted like they dont love the person they truely care about.
But right now, I just wanna indulge in this precious emotion.
I dont care if your worth the wait.
I dont care if you would reciprocate the love I gave you in the future.
The memories with you would be held so dearly to me.
I can safely say, your the best man I ever had.
Today, my friend asked something and my answer to that was only you.
Though I always say something out of 'conduct' was just to play along.

The sit at Pasir Ris MRT was kind of peaceful.
Its all your beauty I was looking at.
I teared a few times.
I was touched to the heart. I was moved.

-

Went to PS and met up with YT and company.
Gleeful dinner. She never fail to make me laugh.
But I really was tired.

-

Listened to a testimony from an ITE girl. It was encouraging.
Motivating lessons. It was really obvious to know it but I was oblivious to it.
Brought back a bunch of CDs to listen to.
I am really trying.
From my persistancy of anti-religious to this, you can see that I am doing everything, anything to change myself.
I am willing to give it a try.
I am with open-mind.
I am really trying everything.
As long as theres hope, I would never go back to my old self.

Nights.
(Preparing for a sleepless night.) Ha. NO. NO.
P.S I havent smell that perfume in a while.
The scent that I dreamt of.

iP00d.

I have been awfully misled for a year.
I have been foolishly in love for a year.
YOU! JUST FUCKING BETRAYED ME!
And I hate you with every of my soul.
I hate your guts and your reservoir of blood.
I have always been faithful to you!
I HATE YOU IPOD!

Yes you heard that.
I cant believe this.
I had just lost a thousands of songs just by a mere thought that it had great, wonderful, satisfying FUNCTIONS! NO. NO. Its just a stereotypical assumption.
Now, I have to plug in to just listen to songs.

How would someone create something that allows to syncronise songs into it and not allows to take it out?!?!?!
What campaign awareness are you trying to create?
I tell you what.
I LOVE PIRACY!
AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE PIRACY NOW AND FOREVER!

Fine. You ROCCCCCKKKK IPOD, YOU ROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK. Rot.

G for guitar.

I am going to change all my meals to Fruits-THElicious!
I dont care how. Im not gonna jog for an hour without losing a pound.
All my boredom, all my energy, all my time, all the effort.
I have NO, NO tolerance for boredom.
I could spend time on my guitar doing the same thing over and over for more than an hour, but NOT jogging.

Speaking of which.
Guitar had taught me many important "life" lessons.
Well, it increased patient with myself.
Give myself enough time and taking it slowly.
I remembered the first time I started out, it was like, Im having all sorts of thoughts in my head. "I cant do this." "What? This is absurd. How could I learn this in a week? I cant even move my fingers now. I got finger cramps." "My finger is too fat and short." "Its too complicated." "I want to learn that, but I cant even do this."
It was overwhelming.
I was very impatient and I wanted it done right now.
So the next few days from the first, was a drag. And then it came like WHAM! "E-eh! CAN ALREADY!"
Its just a matter of getting used to the motions.
And now I know, things are not as hard as it seems, its just a matter of time and effort. This applies to all sorts of matter as well.

So what I want to say to the world is,
relax, take your time, enjoy the journey and one day all will come around.
Have faith.
Whether it be work, studies, life crisis.

-

I am, SATISFIED with what I saw. HAHA!
I am hot. I am funny. I am ridiculous and I am going to take a damn relaxing shower right now.

Ciao.
P.S Im gonna get GuitarPro soon! And no, I didnt pay for it.
My smart ass friend cracked it HAHA How genious.

I hate this.

Many things can keep you from falling or staying asleep: for example, consuming alcohol or caffeine, or feeling stressed, anxious, or depressed. But insomnia often takes on a life of its own. After a few nights of tossing and turning, what's likely to keep you up is worrying about getting to sleep, says Cote. Eventually, you start associating going to bed with worrying about falling asleep, so instead of easing you into slumber, your nervous system goes on high alert, anticipating--and bringing on--another sleepless night.

Damn right! That is so true.

Take a warm bath just before you go to bed. Bathing will elevate your body temperature, but lying down will make it drop because your muscles relax and produce less heat. Sleep tends to follow a steep decline in body temperature.

I am going to take a shower right now at 2am in the morning you bastards.

Its back!

I CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT AGAIN. Yes AGAIN.
No matter how little I slept in the morning, I just cant sleep at night.
I hate how this is. Help please.

Jenkem.

Click the image, read the news.
IMAGE
Can you-can you believe this?
This shit is nasty.

NS

The moment I first set my eyes on him.
I blushed.
The broad shoulders and the near to buff figure in the army uniform, walking towards me.
I couldnt be more proud of him.
Whats bad about having a NS boyfriend?

-You wont be worrying about him fooling around; he's in camp serving his service.
-You have enough space for yourself.
-Your 'uniform fanasty' becomes reality.

Something to worry of.
Changing of perception. Expectations change and evolve towards a more realistic slant.
But then again, I rather spend time having fun than worrying. ;D

Nick, adorable.

Mohinder's.

We are, if anything, creatures of habit. Drawn to the safety and the comfort of the similar. But what happens when the familiar becomes unsafe? When the fear that we've been desperately trying to avoid, finds us where we live?

When confronted by our worst nightmares, the choices are few; Fight or flight. We hope to find the strength to stand against our fears but sometimes, despite ourselves, we run. What if the nightmare gives chase? Where can we hide then?

To survive in this world, we hold close to us those on whom we depend. We trust in them our hopes, our fears... But what happens when trust is lost? Where do we run, when things we believe in vanish before our eyes? When all seems lost, the future unknowable, our very existence in peril... All we can do is run.

The Earth is large. Large enough that you think you can hide from anything. From Fate. From God. If only you found a place far enough away. So you run. To the edge of the Earth. Where all is safe again. Quiet, and warm. The solace of salt air. The peace of danger left behind. The luxury of grief. And maybe, for a moment, you believe you have escaped.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose. The Earth spins at a thousand miles an hour as we desperately try to keep from being thrown off. Like the first blush in winter that signals a great migration. Is there any warning of their arrival? A sign, a single event that set this chain into motion? Was it a whisper in God's ear? Survive. Adapt. Escape. And if we could mark our single moment in time, that first hint of a prophecy of approaching danger... would we have done anything differently? Could it have been stopped? Or was the die long ago cast? And if we could go back, alter its course, stop it from happening... would we?

-

I just love that.
Today we spent 7 hours talking non stop.
First at Pizza Hut then to Starbucks.
From 3pm to 10pm.
What enjoyable time. We should do this again!

Wheres my Hiro?

There is definitely more to life than everything thats happening.
Work harder Trish.

Gotta find something else to get addicted to now.
Heroes's lure was greater than Prison Break.

Last Sat's night wasnt very satisfying.
Sunday, I had a great time talking.
Havent talked like that since mmm GAP?
Havent seen or talked much to my sisters for quite a while.
Tomorrow having lunch with them again!
Im still considering signing up for gym with pearlyne OR getting discount at California Fitness. Discounted half price yo.

P.S Cant wait til Sept 08. Heroes Season 3 on air.

I am addicted to Heroes.

I think teacher said, " Yup 1pm every Saturday."
OMFG Did I hear an error? IM INJECTED WITH EUPHORIA!
Har har, I can imgaine Nick's face of disbelief.
Hes gonna be so jealous.

I cant wait to finish all seasons of Heroes.

You gotta be tough you gotta be stronger.

My man left for army this morning. I was still in bed.
I feel kind of lost.
But it be different this time.
No more making plannings in my head.
No more listing things I gotta do in my head.
This time, I'll be writing it down and get it done.
I will make it this time.

Sakura.

Saturday March 08
Went to my guitar lesson. As expected, enjoyed it throughly.
Teacher gave me another free lesson on the next next week. Im exhilarated!
Went to Clementi Woods with Nick, Ernies and her BF.
We were on the queue and were discussing about Halal.
My sister and I were like imitating the RK Pork House indian guy so loudly!
Nick was like,"Eh the malay guy looking." -_-
HAHA so funny!
The whole day was funny and I enjoyed it.
Not forgetting the salmon slices. HAHA.
After dinner, we met up with my Dad and watched 10,000BC. Not so good.
-
I expect life to get duller for me. Or in any case, darker into the tunnel.
But whatever I believed in, I always believed the year would always be exciting in some ways. Well, I create the sources of fun right. ;D

Year for me,
Guitar, studies, work, sisters.
And it repeats, and maybe some after work's fun. Nyah.

Gotta find a new guitar teacher. The current one is leaving.
Its such a great pity! I adore his fine charactor and his teachings.
Really hope the next one would be as comfortable.
And no, I dont want Simon Lai.
I would feel much uncomfortable, hes too cute.

To make an end to all these frustrations, ...

As human beings we're hard-wired to be in charge of ourselves -- and our environment. Some of us just take longer than others to learn the distinction between ridding ourselves of symptoms and getting to their source. If we think we don't have control of our lives because we see our obstacles as insurmountable, we stay where we are -- and our problems are guaranteed to become steady companions.

If you think that options and choices are for others, but not you, you sell yourself short. Looking at yourself and how you live your life does requires courage and effort. As you invest in yourself, you'll make progress -- how much depends on you.

FHM Threesome party!
Great timing. Time to san san xing! !!!
EXCITED! Anyone wanna join me msg me tomorrow.
P.S First 8 months of relationship, you get all the FUN! Trust me.

Is there any salvation to what I have become?

Justin recommended this great movie. The Bucket List. Its great! Everyone should watch it when its out in Singapore. Inspirational, moving, motivational.

Im just dreaming, am I?
Theres a dullness in the cool breeze as I walked out of the entrance.
Frustration and hopelessness. Im falling.
The cool sting of my tears.
I wish a car would just run me over.
I think of every suicidal escape but I know I dont have the courage.
Someone please do me a favour.
Dont call or msg my hp anymore.
Your wrong, theres only down in life.

My BEAUTIFUL guitar!

Recent pics.






My camera phone sucks. Time to trade my phone for a sony camera!