The lady whimpered in fear. The man was scrawny and deranged. He grimaced menacingly, hes eyes gleamed with wrath. I reckon the man had a saddening past. The man raised his axe, a high shriek of trepidation rings through the gloomy and ominous house.
I woke up. The windows were opened widely across. I refused to open my eyes. I lain in the comforts of my pillows and blankets. The warmth of the noon made me felt drowsy. I listened to the cadence of the conversation outside the room and the soothing music of 'War and Beauty [instrumental]', it was assuring.
"I really feel that hes a good man..." Thats the last I heard from my Sis as I dosed back to sleep.
The man sliced his blade through the air, and off the lady's neck. A hydraulic 'Plop' as the her head hits the ground. The man smiled slightly, his eyes wrinkled as he squinted through the blood-stained curtains. He sighed a breath of accomplishment. He turned off the tv, sat on the couch and sipped on a glass of Dirty Martini.
I woke up abruptly again. Ahh, I wonder why's that dream. I havent read crimelibrary for a long time. This is weird. I shifted with difficulty and picked up my clock. It was 3.45PM. Did I sleep that long? I closed my eyes again, reluctant to acknownledge the world just yet. I sang to the song 'Damn regret - The red jumpsuit apparatus' that was playing in the background. I picked my phone up and looked at the msges. I looked at the time again, it was 12.45PM. I glimpse at the time again suspiciously.
Hopped off my bed and started my day.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I keep a sinister smile and a hole in my heart.
Ahh finally able to talk to Lili. <3
Well shes still the same, insecurity about going into relationship. For me, it doesnt matter. As my heart is already dead. So it wont hurt that much anymore. Maybe, its not dead, its just filled up with the photos of the past. Nothing or no one can ever get in anymore.
Lucas isss soo inlove with her! She was like, "No more LDR for me." And I told her, "Yea same for me, as it usually doesnt work out. None for me! But uhhhh, if only its Lan, then maybe, I might. =D" "LOL"
Me: "Lucas........ should get a GF."
HAHAHA. I feel bad for him. >_< So many insecure people around tho in a different extent.
Lili plays on InstinctRO now. And she told me she donated again on that server more than what she donated on Kaz3RO. I told her, "Aint you afraid history might happens again?"
If I were her, I wouldnt. Shows how rich people are. Mmm. Generous.
The policy of playing in bbgRO, "Just talk to the right people and you will survive."
Then we went on, gossiping about our friends. Hee hee. But ya, at least someone feels the same way I do about that particular person.
Naruke, khoa WANTS me in surgeRO. HAHA!
Dennis and Nii wants me too.
Lili wants me in InstinctRO.
Seth wants me in some server I forgot.
But if I really do play, I would so much rather go to darkRO. Cause hes there.
I dunno, Lili might hook me up with stuffs. Heueahuea. Its a BR server. Nice. Eu gosto BRs! Eles e legal e LINDOOOOO! Hee hee, reminds me of Bruno. DOCE~ Meu lindo amo.
Hero, heroine - Boys like girls.
Chaw.
P.S I cant refrain myself from comparing. To live over again and to deal with the pain you brought me, I will still choose you.
P.S.S I did promise to what you wanted, do you even care what I really wanted? All you do is say a whole lot of stuffs to proof you aint wrong. This wont work out, I promise.
Well shes still the same, insecurity about going into relationship. For me, it doesnt matter. As my heart is already dead. So it wont hurt that much anymore. Maybe, its not dead, its just filled up with the photos of the past. Nothing or no one can ever get in anymore.
Lucas isss soo inlove with her! She was like, "No more LDR for me." And I told her, "Yea same for me, as it usually doesnt work out. None for me! But uhhhh, if only its Lan, then maybe, I might. =D" "LOL"
Me: "Lucas........ should get a GF."
HAHAHA. I feel bad for him. >_< So many insecure people around tho in a different extent.
Lili plays on InstinctRO now. And she told me she donated again on that server more than what she donated on Kaz3RO. I told her, "Aint you afraid history might happens again?"
If I were her, I wouldnt. Shows how rich people are. Mmm. Generous.
The policy of playing in bbgRO, "Just talk to the right people and you will survive."
Then we went on, gossiping about our friends. Hee hee. But ya, at least someone feels the same way I do about that particular person.
Naruke, khoa WANTS me in surgeRO. HAHA!
Dennis and Nii wants me too.
Lili wants me in InstinctRO.
Seth wants me in some server I forgot.
But if I really do play, I would so much rather go to darkRO. Cause hes there.
I dunno, Lili might hook me up with stuffs. Heueahuea. Its a BR server. Nice. Eu gosto BRs! Eles e legal e LINDOOOOO! Hee hee, reminds me of Bruno. DOCE~ Meu lindo amo.
Hero, heroine - Boys like girls.
Chaw.
P.S I cant refrain myself from comparing. To live over again and to deal with the pain you brought me, I will still choose you.
P.S.S I did promise to what you wanted, do you even care what I really wanted? All you do is say a whole lot of stuffs to proof you aint wrong. This wont work out, I promise.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
E-drama.
Stupid brainless racist peoples.
I was like, "You got a problem with that?"
Nub'O fag[not exactly his name]:Got
Me:Suck it up then
Nub'O fag: You then lor
*LOL, is that all you got? Retarded come back, does he even understand what I said*
-Pointless dramas continues-
Me: Learn english and learn one-two party before talking to me. Faggit.
Typical singaporeans.
I was like, "You got a problem with that?"
Nub'O fag[not exactly his name]:Got
Me:Suck it up then
Nub'O fag: You then lor
*LOL, is that all you got? Retarded come back, does he even understand what I said*
-Pointless dramas continues-
Me: Learn english and learn one-two party before talking to me. Faggit.
Typical singaporeans.
Perfection will not come.
This old song seems to fit you.
There are certain people you just keep coming back to.
She is right in front of you.
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now shes in question.
And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and
The right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there.
Looking for the right one you line up the world
To find where no questions cross your mind.
But she wont keep on waiting for you
Without a doubt.
Much longer for you to sort it out.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her, maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another.
There are certain people you just keep coming back to.
She is right in front of you.
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now shes in question.
And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and
The right thing are the same.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her,
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there.
Looking for the right one you line up the world
To find where no questions cross your mind.
But she wont keep on waiting for you
Without a doubt.
Much longer for you to sort it out.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her, maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another.
Friday, March 16, 2007
When darkness turns to light.
My fear of regrets always helps me at different times. Times where I dont need it.
Sometime, I had already made a small note to self, more like a decision.
When its time for me to open my mouth, I just couldnt get myself to do it.
Theres always this inhibition that stops me. That is my fear of regret.
I always regret in w.e decision I made. It be, choosing of food, ending of stuffs or w.e. It always seems I cant make decisions.
Whatever it is, I shall procrastinate til theres a change.
I guess there is no one in the world that will ever look up upon me.
People would most prolly look down on me. And no one in the world could ever know me.
This is crazy but my will for life has been wavering for a long time.
The only thing that stops me is the title of infilial.
If my parents are gone, nothing could ever stop me again.
Things are not that easy as you seems.
Stuffs like that, could be easy for you, but im sorry, I CANT.
It is not easy for me. Try being me. Its not like I dont want. I want to. But I cant.
You are what you are, I am what I am. Doesnt it make so much sense?
You can do it doesnt means that I can do the same and as easy as you can do it.
No, it doesnt. And it wont. Even if Id try, its gonna be ugly. Its gonna look as bad.
Im sorry I aint perfect. Im prolly the only thing that isnt perfect in your life.
Just one word, you can just give me a word, and I'll go.
It ends tonight - All american rejects
Bai.
Sometime, I had already made a small note to self, more like a decision.
When its time for me to open my mouth, I just couldnt get myself to do it.
Theres always this inhibition that stops me. That is my fear of regret.
I always regret in w.e decision I made. It be, choosing of food, ending of stuffs or w.e. It always seems I cant make decisions.
Whatever it is, I shall procrastinate til theres a change.
I guess there is no one in the world that will ever look up upon me.
People would most prolly look down on me. And no one in the world could ever know me.
This is crazy but my will for life has been wavering for a long time.
The only thing that stops me is the title of infilial.
If my parents are gone, nothing could ever stop me again.
Things are not that easy as you seems.
Stuffs like that, could be easy for you, but im sorry, I CANT.
It is not easy for me. Try being me. Its not like I dont want. I want to. But I cant.
You are what you are, I am what I am. Doesnt it make so much sense?
You can do it doesnt means that I can do the same and as easy as you can do it.
No, it doesnt. And it wont. Even if Id try, its gonna be ugly. Its gonna look as bad.
Im sorry I aint perfect. Im prolly the only thing that isnt perfect in your life.
Just one word, you can just give me a word, and I'll go.
It ends tonight - All american rejects
Bai.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
How bored are you?
| You Communicate With Your Ears |
 You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod. |
| You Are a Pundit Blogger! |
 Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few |
| Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP) |
 Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving. |
| You Are Really Not Happy |
 You may have noticed that things aren't going too well for you lately. Your life never used to be like this, but it seems like happiness is slipping away from you. You definitely need a change, because whatever you have going on isn't working. It's time for you to shake things up - even if it means totally changing your life path. |
| Your Social Anxiety Level: 64% |
 You have high social anxiety. You have a pretty serious social phobia, and it effects your life more than you may realize. It's possible that you've made yourself comfortable by avoiding situations you dread. But don't be fooled - you still probably need professional help. |
| Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
 You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. |
| Your Depression Level: 76% |
 You seem to have moderate depression. Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life. You would benefit greatly from professional help. |
| You Are 88% Bipolar |
 You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life. Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder. |
| You're Totally Sarcastic |
 You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad. |
| You Are 82% Indie |
 You're so indie, it's kind of amazing that you actually found your way to this quiz. Generally, your tastes are genuinely indie... but sometimes you like something just because it's weird! |
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking |
 You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language |
| You Are A Jealous Ex |
 You're not quite over your past, and you are hurt that your ex is moving on You're no longer in love, but you're not done with being pissed Jealous of any happiness that comes your ex's way, you still can't let go |
| You Are an Emo Rocker! |
 Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding. |
| How You Life Your Life |
 You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down. |
Oh you do?
Why do so much, ponder about life?
After all, life is just all about these four W questions.
What
When
Where
With
I mean, I ask questions to myself everyday. And I beg for an answer.
After all, life is just all about these four W questions.
What
When
Where
With
I mean, I ask questions to myself everyday. And I beg for an answer.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Crimson.
Like I said before somewhere buried in the archives, optimistic ruins me.
I always thought that this tide will ease and everything will goes smoothly like its planned out. But no, this "crisis" is far longer than I've expected. For years.
Can I sit here anymore?
Went to Pub. Wow, so hard to actually find a place to chill out. Too late, everything is closed. Found one, its fucking rowdy. I would so much prefer pubs in Chinatown. Reason I dont like to go to Boat quey. Sit around for like an hour or two, they are closed. Think we will get back to finish the Chivas. Nyah. ;]
My knife, your throat - Scary kid scaring kids
Lates.
I always thought that this tide will ease and everything will goes smoothly like its planned out. But no, this "crisis" is far longer than I've expected. For years.
Can I sit here anymore?
Went to Pub. Wow, so hard to actually find a place to chill out. Too late, everything is closed. Found one, its fucking rowdy. I would so much prefer pubs in Chinatown. Reason I dont like to go to Boat quey. Sit around for like an hour or two, they are closed. Think we will get back to finish the Chivas. Nyah. ;]
My knife, your throat - Scary kid scaring kids
Lates.
Smashed into pieces.
Never Again.
Ill slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine.
Maybe when you find out that Im dead,
youll realize what you did to me.
And if my lungs still let me breathe,
would you be there for me?
If I can make myself believe,
Ill give you back what you took away.
No, I wont let it go.
Douse myself in gasoline.
So dont save me when you come into the fire.
Id rather die than have to see your smile.
Ill slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine.
Maybe when you find out that Im dead,
youll realize what you did to me.
And if my lungs still let me breathe,
would you be there for me?
If I can make myself believe,
Ill give you back what you took away.
No, I wont let it go.
Douse myself in gasoline.
So dont save me when you come into the fire.
Id rather die than have to see your smile.
Do you swear? "Fuck no."
For boundaries that you not even suppose to cross.
I thank hell for making life on earth insufferable.
I thank hell for making life on earth insufferable.
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Zodiac Killer.
Cryptogram sent by the Zodiac killer. On 1969.
I LIKE KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH FUN
IT IS MORE FUN THAN KILLING WILD GAME IN THE FORREST BECAUSE MAN IS THE MOST DANGEROUE ANIMAL OF ALL TO KILL SOMETHING GIVES ME THE MOST THRILLING EXPERENCE
IT IS EVEN BETTER THAN GETTING YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH A GIRL
THE BEST PART IS THAE WHEN I DIE I WILL BE REBORN IN PARADICE AND ALL THE I HAVE KILLED WILL BECOME MY SLAVES
I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY NAME BECAUSE YOU WILL TRY TO SLOI DOWN OR STOP MY COLLECTING OF SLAVES FOR MY AFTERLIFE EBEORIETEMETHHPITI
The last letter on 1978.
Dear Editor
This is the Zodiac speaking I am back with you. Tell herb caen I am here, I have always been here. That city pig toschi is good but I am bu [crossed out] smarter and better he will get tired then leave me alone. I am waiting for a good movie about me. Who will play me. I am now in control of all things.
yours truly:
[crossed circle] guess
SFPD - 0
-
Ironically, a movie is about you is out finally on 2007. Your prolly dead with your "slaves" and never ever gonna see it. Thats too bad.
Freaking 40 chapters on crimelibrary. Its sad that he never got caught and no professionals can get to understand him. The case was boring.
Time for the Zodiac movie, got it off bittorrent.
The Zodiac Killer
Cat and mouse - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Chaw.
I LIKE KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH FUN
IT IS MORE FUN THAN KILLING WILD GAME IN THE FORREST BECAUSE MAN IS THE MOST DANGEROUE ANIMAL OF ALL TO KILL SOMETHING GIVES ME THE MOST THRILLING EXPERENCE
IT IS EVEN BETTER THAN GETTING YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH A GIRL
THE BEST PART IS THAE WHEN I DIE I WILL BE REBORN IN PARADICE AND ALL THE I HAVE KILLED WILL BECOME MY SLAVES
I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY NAME BECAUSE YOU WILL TRY TO SLOI DOWN OR STOP MY COLLECTING OF SLAVES FOR MY AFTERLIFE EBEORIETEMETHHPITI
The last letter on 1978.
Dear Editor
This is the Zodiac speaking I am back with you. Tell herb caen I am here, I have always been here. That city pig toschi is good but I am bu [crossed out] smarter and better he will get tired then leave me alone. I am waiting for a good movie about me. Who will play me. I am now in control of all things.
yours truly:
[crossed circle] guess
SFPD - 0
-
Ironically, a movie is about you is out finally on 2007. Your prolly dead with your "slaves" and never ever gonna see it. Thats too bad.
Freaking 40 chapters on crimelibrary. Its sad that he never got caught and no professionals can get to understand him. The case was boring.
Time for the Zodiac movie, got it off bittorrent.
The Zodiac Killer
Cat and mouse - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Chaw.
The magic.
I like the part where she sang
"Cant ever keep from falling apart at the seams
Cant I believe you're taking my heart to pieces"
I love the feeling every piece of music gave me.
Different song, different feeling.
Unspeakable feeling. *Spaced out silently*
Ahh well. Lots of thoughts, racing thoughts.
But I cant really put it down.
No idea how to.
FOCUS girl.
November rain - Gun N roses
Deuce.
"Cant ever keep from falling apart at the seams
Cant I believe you're taking my heart to pieces"
I love the feeling every piece of music gave me.
Different song, different feeling.
Unspeakable feeling. *Spaced out silently*
Ahh well. Lots of thoughts, racing thoughts.
But I cant really put it down.
No idea how to.
FOCUS girl.
November rain - Gun N roses
Deuce.
Lightness.
It struck me like a sudden wind when he said he like me. I didnt expect that. I mean what do you expect from someone like him? Well. I dont know. It really seems like a facade to cover up what I really feel about him. I dont like it. I really dont. Tho sometimes I always say its my favourite sin. But no, I really dont like it. I dont worth a 50 bucks. Thats what I said to myself. But do others see it that way? No.
-
Really glad we talked again. And again. And again. Really miss all those chats. It really hit me when you said we have something in common. We both hate school. And I added in, "But we wanna study." Its really sad. I dont know if I did saw the look on your face. But, I saw a reflection. Can I just stop regressing?
We laugh indoors - Death cab for cutie
Lates.
-
Really glad we talked again. And again. And again. Really miss all those chats. It really hit me when you said we have something in common. We both hate school. And I added in, "But we wanna study." Its really sad. I dont know if I did saw the look on your face. But, I saw a reflection. Can I just stop regressing?
We laugh indoors - Death cab for cutie
Lates.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
EDITS: I saw Xiong the chef on friday at CWP! HE COULDNT REGONISE ME! I looked at him. He was like, why this girl looking at me. Then I walked pass him. For a few seconds, I turned, and he turned. He was like "EH?" I yelled at him, "YOU FORGOT ME?!!" Hes like, *Smiles*
Went to Swensen's with my Sis and Dad today. Mmmm =D
I AM lazy to blog these few days. So yeh I guess will just stop here!
Apology - Alesana
Lates.
Went to Swensen's with my Sis and Dad today. Mmmm =D
I AM lazy to blog these few days. So yeh I guess will just stop here!
Apology - Alesana
Lates.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Malay.
O....kay. Lets start with.
Friday, March 09.
Woke up early in the morning to help my granny carry groceries home. At least I've gotten something out of it! I threw three packets of kinder brano and a CNC ice cream into the basket. My granny was VERY happy that i followed her to NTUC. She was talking talking talking nonstop the whole journey and smiling so widely like a "laughing buddha". Went out with YT. Bought a bag and regretted as usual. I should have bought that brown one. Tho i was very reluntant to buy a bag. I saw SOO many shoes on OFFER. So tempted to buy them. And i want a contact lens. Sick of the old geeky look. Complained the whole day of the heat and pain on my foot.
BBQ party for Lee Yun's birthday. We waited for PY to arrived at Vista park. A figure appeared at the corner of my eyes, asking for a lighter. I looked at them, two Malay guys. Mmmm okay.
After they lighted their ciggies, one guy said, "Hey you looked familiar."
Me: "Mmm you dont looked familiar."
*Thinking at the same time, bad pick-up line*
Him: "Oooo you isit at that 630 coffee shop? That time your Dad with you right?"
Me: "OOo I remembered!"
The coffeeshop at my house, downstairs. A year ago, a new Malay food store opened for business. Whenever I went down with my dad to eat, I always noticed that store's owner. He was sooo cute and its rare to see young adults selling food at the hawker center. He always have his friends come over to the coffee shop to slack. And SUDDENLY, theres so many Malays at 630. And that guy I met yesterday, is one of his friend that always saw me eating there.
Kay, the BBQ was kind of boring.
Friday, March 09.
Woke up early in the morning to help my granny carry groceries home. At least I've gotten something out of it! I threw three packets of kinder brano and a CNC ice cream into the basket. My granny was VERY happy that i followed her to NTUC. She was talking talking talking nonstop the whole journey and smiling so widely like a "laughing buddha". Went out with YT. Bought a bag and regretted as usual. I should have bought that brown one. Tho i was very reluntant to buy a bag. I saw SOO many shoes on OFFER. So tempted to buy them. And i want a contact lens. Sick of the old geeky look. Complained the whole day of the heat and pain on my foot.
BBQ party for Lee Yun's birthday. We waited for PY to arrived at Vista park. A figure appeared at the corner of my eyes, asking for a lighter. I looked at them, two Malay guys. Mmmm okay.
After they lighted their ciggies, one guy said, "Hey you looked familiar."
Me: "Mmm you dont looked familiar."
*Thinking at the same time, bad pick-up line*
Him: "Oooo you isit at that 630 coffee shop? That time your Dad with you right?"
Me: "OOo I remembered!"
The coffeeshop at my house, downstairs. A year ago, a new Malay food store opened for business. Whenever I went down with my dad to eat, I always noticed that store's owner. He was sooo cute and its rare to see young adults selling food at the hawker center. He always have his friends come over to the coffee shop to slack. And SUDDENLY, theres so many Malays at 630. And that guy I met yesterday, is one of his friend that always saw me eating there.
Kay, the BBQ was kind of boring.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
The PRO?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNY SHIT! Was bored as hell. Went into the nooby zone with my nooby hair with the nooby clothing with the NOOBY LOOK. Look what happened in the end.
AHHHHHHHH IM SOO LONELY HAHAHAHA! Everyone ran off........... Thats so sad and depressing! Im tearing of laughters. Annoying tho. Thanks for filling my boredom.
AHHHHHHHH IM SOO LONELY HAHAHAHA! Everyone ran off........... Thats so sad and depressing! Im tearing of laughters. Annoying tho. Thanks for filling my boredom.
The myth.
My mom said, "If nothing seems to help, I think you ought to seek everything you need from spiritual."
I was like, "Hell no! Nuh uh! Not gonna happen okay so just drop it."
Shes been going on and on about that. She EVEN told me to follow my granny to some buddism [not sure if I spell it right, i dont bother to check either]talk, if I really dont like the sound of church.
Errr no? No thank you? What? Go follow her and talk to a bunch of grannies? Nuuuh. One is already really enough for me to handle =]
No, seriously. I am not interested in god and I dont think it is interested in me either. Period. I dont need help from something I dont believe in.
Ugly betty is a goooood show. Far more better than The pursuit of HappYness. Really.
I learnt so much, much more in this show than that movie.
Should really listen to them talk. Lots of quotes is really touching.
I was really thinking about myself in this show. Betty's sister. Seems like we are similiar to a different extent.
-
Text extracted from the book, "When a child kills: Abused Children Who Kill Their Parents" - By Paul Mones
Kids who kill their parents are usually peaceful and have parents that are very private and secretive. Mones found that these children have a low self-opinion of themselves and react only after suffering abuse silently, usually after years of trying unsuccessfully to please their parents. According to Mones, when these children fight back, they strike when their abuser is vulnerable. The crimes tend to be characterized by overkill, instead of one bullet being fired at the abuser, the child will shoot the abuser over and over again. Mones believes that when a parent is murdered, it is their fault.
Mmm, interesting. Okay I should exit "Crimelibrary" now before I get all paranoid and freak myself out at this point of the night. Yes that always happens.
A boy brushed red.. Living in black and white - Underoath
Lates.
I was like, "Hell no! Nuh uh! Not gonna happen okay so just drop it."
Shes been going on and on about that. She EVEN told me to follow my granny to some buddism [not sure if I spell it right, i dont bother to check either]talk, if I really dont like the sound of church.
Errr no? No thank you? What? Go follow her and talk to a bunch of grannies? Nuuuh. One is already really enough for me to handle =]
No, seriously. I am not interested in god and I dont think it is interested in me either. Period. I dont need help from something I dont believe in.
Ugly betty is a goooood show. Far more better than The pursuit of HappYness. Really.
I learnt so much, much more in this show than that movie.
Should really listen to them talk. Lots of quotes is really touching.
I was really thinking about myself in this show. Betty's sister. Seems like we are similiar to a different extent.
-
Text extracted from the book, "When a child kills: Abused Children Who Kill Their Parents" - By Paul Mones
Kids who kill their parents are usually peaceful and have parents that are very private and secretive. Mones found that these children have a low self-opinion of themselves and react only after suffering abuse silently, usually after years of trying unsuccessfully to please their parents. According to Mones, when these children fight back, they strike when their abuser is vulnerable. The crimes tend to be characterized by overkill, instead of one bullet being fired at the abuser, the child will shoot the abuser over and over again. Mones believes that when a parent is murdered, it is their fault.
Mmm, interesting. Okay I should exit "Crimelibrary" now before I get all paranoid and freak myself out at this point of the night. Yes that always happens.
A boy brushed red.. Living in black and white - Underoath
Lates.
The district sleeps tonight.
"Its like when the city stops, theres this silence and everything sparkles."
I NEED the last episode of Ugly Betty! Im soooooooo in suspense.
And theres only 17 episode ;[ Im gonna miss Betty!
And of course, Daniel Meade. Soooo cute.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
| On the Swirve Personality Test, I am an Architect. My Characteristics Chart:
Read more about Architects or take the Test yourself! |
On the Swirve Personality Test, I am an Architect. About me:
|
Heh, just reminising. I always dig in the past. Its just cause i have nothing better and useful to do. ;P
I miss the hatties I used to make.
The word, "Alde steps, Alde steps."
Gonyrun <3
Amatsu
Aldebaran
Louyang
Those BGMs bring back memories. Good ones only. Its weird how memories only bring back the good ones.
I cant seems to feel any of the bad ones. The negative ones. Its only the happy ones I am feeling.
Its a pity I lost the reeeaally really old screenies. When it all started. You got no idea how much screenies I have now and you got no idea how much I feel for this so called 'phenomenon'. A great lovely experience. Okay i should stop, now i sounded like an addict. --;
Ahh man. I might just go back and start some new memories. ;]
Be fugly.
Wee. I dont need to catch every series of Ugly Betty on Sundays anymore. I got the full episode on download! Nyah! Its really touching. Another show of a strong personality. I WISH I WAS THEM. Why is it so hard to be strong for me?
"Snow is a magical blanket. It hides whats ugly and make everything beautiful."
"Snow is a magical blanket. It hides whats ugly and make everything beautiful."
Monday, March 05, 2007
Cant stand cocky people. Excuse me. Dont have to ask us wtf is jy? What is liao? What is la? If you cant stand our AZN language, then please STFUGTFO. Get out of this AZN server. We dont want you here.
If you think you are so perfect in your english then wtf is "thats all people stupid is say" WTF is that?! O please yous a joker. Get out.
Dont wait - Dashboard confessional
Bai.
If you think you are so perfect in your english then wtf is "thats all people stupid is say" WTF is that?! O please yous a joker. Get out.
Dont wait - Dashboard confessional
Bai.
They come and go.
Lots of people thought I am weird. In taste, behaviour or w.e.
Friends asked why am I attracted to Malays instead of Chinese. Couldnt give them a sure answer til then.
I might have the answer now.
Its prolly because, when I was young, I was infatuated with a Malay guy sitting next to me in class everyday. But he migrated to Indonesia. He was the sweetest thing in my childhood memory. ;D
The likings, personal behaviour, individual charactor, is nurtured, formed or 'created' from the period when you are borned till early teens.
So yea. The creation of Trish. Tee hee.
Karma Chameleon - Culture club
Deuce.
P.S Kinda miss all those chattings.
Friends asked why am I attracted to Malays instead of Chinese. Couldnt give them a sure answer til then.
I might have the answer now.
Its prolly because, when I was young, I was infatuated with a Malay guy sitting next to me in class everyday. But he migrated to Indonesia. He was the sweetest thing in my childhood memory. ;D
The likings, personal behaviour, individual charactor, is nurtured, formed or 'created' from the period when you are borned till early teens.
So yea. The creation of Trish. Tee hee.
Karma Chameleon - Culture club
Deuce.
P.S Kinda miss all those chattings.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
The search.
Pursuit of happYness. A short conclusion, Happiness = Accomplishment.
To know that you CAN do it. He pushed on at the edge of giving up. When everything is against him. When there seems no more hope left.
At that very moment, I may be thinking, theres nothing more I can do, i failed. But no, he pushed on, and do everything to make it happen.
The spoiled scanner, being homeless, sleeping in the toilet with every depressing emotions.
He was so afraid that the door would open.
He was so afraid that their ONLY place to spend the night is lost. To lose it.
The part where I cried, is when he said,
"Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what."
I cried. I never see myself in the future with happiness.
"Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.".
I cried again. O the irony. Its rather like, people dont have to tell me that I cant do it. Cause I already said that to myself.
And the toilet scene was really heart wrenching. I cried because of the fear in him.
At the end, like I said before, it is all worth it.
HES THE MAN BABY, HES THE MAN!
I wish I had the determination that he had. Hes strong. Real strong.
Didnt really felt much inspiration from this movie tho. No inspiration to do some thinking.
Okay, maybe its just theres not much emotions in me today.
Chaw.
To know that you CAN do it. He pushed on at the edge of giving up. When everything is against him. When there seems no more hope left.
At that very moment, I may be thinking, theres nothing more I can do, i failed. But no, he pushed on, and do everything to make it happen.
The spoiled scanner, being homeless, sleeping in the toilet with every depressing emotions.
He was so afraid that the door would open.
He was so afraid that their ONLY place to spend the night is lost. To lose it.
The part where I cried, is when he said,
"Maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it no matter what."
I cried. I never see myself in the future with happiness.
"Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.".
I cried again. O the irony. Its rather like, people dont have to tell me that I cant do it. Cause I already said that to myself.
And the toilet scene was really heart wrenching. I cried because of the fear in him.
At the end, like I said before, it is all worth it.
HES THE MAN BABY, HES THE MAN!
I wish I had the determination that he had. Hes strong. Real strong.
Didnt really felt much inspiration from this movie tho. No inspiration to do some thinking.
Okay, maybe its just theres not much emotions in me today.
Chaw.
Friday, March 02, 2007
A sillhouette behind the rain.
In this dark room, even the sun is not gonna watch this apocalypse.
The words I keep reminding myself with everyday, every night, suddenly doesnt helps anymore at all. What could I do, what should I do.
Indulge.
Nyah! Dance flower, 89 PERFECTS!
Have seen one person getting 300k+ on "Dance flower", nearly reaching 400k. The max I could get for "Dance flower" is 280k, not even near to hers, tsk tsk. I HATE WINNERS! I wish i wish i wish I was her. Then, maybe, I might consider spending money on that game. Breaking my own principle. I dont pay to play!
CLICK TO ENLARGE.
Have seen one person getting 300k+ on "Dance flower", nearly reaching 400k. The max I could get for "Dance flower" is 280k, not even near to hers, tsk tsk. I HATE WINNERS! I wish i wish i wish I was her. Then, maybe, I might consider spending money on that game. Breaking my own principle. I dont pay to play!
CLICK TO ENLARGE.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Dont wait.
"This is a stolen -"
What does it mean? Does it actually meant something? I wish it did.
I got so much questions. And yet again I am confused.
I have given up. Will you even do something?
What does it mean? Does it actually meant something? I wish it did.
I got so much questions. And yet again I am confused.
I have given up. Will you even do something?
Now could I say, why should I? For a person who dont treasure. *Tsk tsk*
Sat there waiting for hours, but you didnt appear.
Everyday, im listening to these musics. Feeling every sound of it. Feeling every emotions in the song. Wondering, is there anyone out there can give me exact feeling the music gave. One did but just a passer by of my life.
Mmm. I indulge.
What sarah said - Death cab for cutie
P.S How disappointing to be talking on the phone with some other guys rather than your own.
Sat there waiting for hours, but you didnt appear.
Everyday, im listening to these musics. Feeling every sound of it. Feeling every emotions in the song. Wondering, is there anyone out there can give me exact feeling the music gave. One did but just a passer by of my life.
Mmm. I indulge.
What sarah said - Death cab for cutie
P.S How disappointing to be talking on the phone with some other guys rather than your own.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Backmasking.
Backmasking/Backtracking
I read, those sublimal messages actually register in our subconsious mind which motivate the individual to do what they heard. Mmm is it really true?
I found the song which I listen to a few years ago, Jimmy eat world - The middle
The sublimal messages was something like eat Sushi eat sushi. Its amusing. But did I crave for sushi at that point of time? If yes then its true.
Nothing better - The postal service
Deuce.
I read, those sublimal messages actually register in our subconsious mind which motivate the individual to do what they heard. Mmm is it really true?
I found the song which I listen to a few years ago, Jimmy eat world - The middle
The sublimal messages was something like eat Sushi eat sushi. Its amusing. But did I crave for sushi at that point of time? If yes then its true.
Nothing better - The postal service
Deuce.
Your heart is an empty room.
Out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
To be with you - Mr. Big
I will go down with this ship and I wont put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, Im in love and always will be.
And he said sweetie.
When we get home, I know we wont be home at all
This place we live, it is not where we belong
And I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own
Going back to get away after everything has changed
I miss us.
Are you moving on yet?
Everytime I carry a hope with me, that everytime will piece up like before.
The feeling is different.
You left me something to hold on to. You left me hanging with that very question.
Crash and burn - Savage garden
Bai.
P.S Im sorry, im a sinner.
there will be no white flag above my door, Im in love and always will be.
And he said sweetie.
When we get home, I know we wont be home at all
This place we live, it is not where we belong
And I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own
Going back to get away after everything has changed
I miss us.
Are you moving on yet?
Everytime I carry a hope with me, that everytime will piece up like before.
The feeling is different.
You left me something to hold on to. You left me hanging with that very question.
Crash and burn - Savage garden
Bai.
P.S Im sorry, im a sinner.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Smurf #1: Yo, Smurf, that party last night was freakin', Smurf!
Smurf #2: You bet your smurf it was!
Smurf #1: Hey, I saw you leaving with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Yeah. Right when we left the party, she started smurfin' me.
Smurf #2: Shut the smurf up! Right in the smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Oh, yeah.
Smurf #1: That's freakin' smurf!
Smurf #2: You betcha.
Smurf #1: Freakin' smurf.
Smurf #2: You bet your smurf it was!
Smurf #1: Hey, I saw you leaving with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Yeah. Right when we left the party, she started smurfin' me.
Smurf #2: Shut the smurf up! Right in the smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Oh, yeah.
Smurf #1: That's freakin' smurf!
Smurf #2: You betcha.
Smurf #1: Freakin' smurf.
How to do your friendster profile.
Uproarious =] I dont have to emphasize my dislike of 'leet speak'.
-
EDIT: I have ` in front of my friendster name. Im cool.
Uproarious =] I dont have to emphasize my dislike of 'leet speak'.
-
EDIT: I have ` in front of my friendster name. Im cool.
Abstract thoughts
Well, quite obviously, Ive done the template with some leeching here and there. I dont know if it works on all browser tho.
Kevin said, "because I think you have a good caliber."
Wow and thanks. I didnt believe so.
"why do you keep yourself at home?"
No answer.
"Just so many potential untapped, but somehow, something is between you and you fulfilling your potential."
Mmm, myself is obstructing me from maximizing my potential.
I wish I am without inhibitions.
There was never a final closure within myself. No satisfying closure.
Sometimes even to the state of regression.
The same question I asked myself for the past four months.
"Am I out of the fence yet?" Mmm, not quite.
Sometimes, I feel mirthful, joy and hopeful of life.
But facts on how I depress myself? No idea.
-
Mmm about that issue.
I chose avoidance and isolation. Maybe like what J had told me, people take things for granted. Well its so true.
I rather isolate myself than start any unneccessary issues.
-
Currently on the book,
Malignant self love, narcissism revisited
By Sam Vaknin
Hes a victim of NPD himself. Its rather interesting and intriguing to read the thoughts of a narcissist. He had a usage of highbrow vocab to create an aura of grandiosity.
"I am constantly envious of people. This is my way of interacting with the world. I begrudge others their success, or brilliance, or happiness, or good fortune. I am driven to excesses of paranoia and guilt and fear that subside only after I "act out" or punish myself. It is a vicious cycle in which I am entrapped."
Text extracted from the book.
Someday you will be loved - Death cab for cutie
Laters.
Kevin said, "because I think you have a good caliber."
Wow and thanks. I didnt believe so.
"why do you keep yourself at home?"
No answer.
"Just so many potential untapped, but somehow, something is between you and you fulfilling your potential."
Mmm, myself is obstructing me from maximizing my potential.
I wish I am without inhibitions.
There was never a final closure within myself. No satisfying closure.
Sometimes even to the state of regression.
The same question I asked myself for the past four months.
"Am I out of the fence yet?" Mmm, not quite.
Sometimes, I feel mirthful, joy and hopeful of life.
But facts on how I depress myself? No idea.
-
Mmm about that issue.
I chose avoidance and isolation. Maybe like what J had told me, people take things for granted. Well its so true.
I rather isolate myself than start any unneccessary issues.
-
Currently on the book,
Malignant self love, narcissism revisited
By Sam Vaknin
Hes a victim of NPD himself. Its rather interesting and intriguing to read the thoughts of a narcissist. He had a usage of highbrow vocab to create an aura of grandiosity.
"I am constantly envious of people. This is my way of interacting with the world. I begrudge others their success, or brilliance, or happiness, or good fortune. I am driven to excesses of paranoia and guilt and fear that subside only after I "act out" or punish myself. It is a vicious cycle in which I am entrapped."
Text extracted from the book.
Someday you will be loved - Death cab for cutie
Laters.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
My lovely bookshelf.
AHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH HHHHHH HHHHH HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHHAH AHAHHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH AHAHAH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH HAHAHAHHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAH HHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHH AHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAH AHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHH
I just saw something, terribly uproarious. My dad, wore my Si Ling sec UNIFORM, to WORK.
So risibly weeeeird.
Yesterday, I felt a 'rush', a pressure, to talk. To keep talking. It was weird. Then, whether it was the works of my mind or i did really heard the sound around me, i really got scared. The feeling was so ominous.
Good good, everything is going smoothly. Well at least my life is. Better than usual. Ah and I dont really wanna look for a job. Its a distraction.
The more I work, the more I spend, the more I spend, the more I wanna earn! That eventually becomes a distraction to my studies. But honestly, its really just a self justifiying excuse to not look for a job. =]
For the numerous time of my life, I am addicted to reading, again.
www.suite101.com
A secret manifesto.
Ciao.
P.S And yes, I am self obsess.
I just saw something, terribly uproarious. My dad, wore my Si Ling sec UNIFORM, to WORK.
So risibly weeeeird.
Yesterday, I felt a 'rush', a pressure, to talk. To keep talking. It was weird. Then, whether it was the works of my mind or i did really heard the sound around me, i really got scared. The feeling was so ominous.
Good good, everything is going smoothly. Well at least my life is. Better than usual. Ah and I dont really wanna look for a job. Its a distraction.
The more I work, the more I spend, the more I spend, the more I wanna earn! That eventually becomes a distraction to my studies. But honestly, its really just a self justifiying excuse to not look for a job. =]
For the numerous time of my life, I am addicted to reading, again.
www.suite101.com
A secret manifesto.
Ciao.
P.S And yes, I am self obsess.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
IM BROKE.
Im beaten, totally. Slept like a few hours, and woke up at friggin 9am.
Whole day I was out, and just eaten a half foot of Italian B.M.T for the whole day.
I need a gawd damn job.
I suddenly realised, theres so much things to do!
AND theres a yearly parade, I forgot whats its called. Its actually exciting.
At Cineleisure, GUESS WHO I SAW! Remember the show on channel 8, 7pm? The teacher, Yo yo who wanted to be a star? I saw one of her student, 'Situ Bi'! OUTSIDE CINE! I was like AWWWWWW SO CUTE!
Anyone have an idea where to alter my jeans?
Rum is for drinking not burning - Senses fail
Chaw.
P.S Mmm... sick of you?
Im beaten, totally. Slept like a few hours, and woke up at friggin 9am.
Whole day I was out, and just eaten a half foot of Italian B.M.T for the whole day.
I need a gawd damn job.
I suddenly realised, theres so much things to do!
AND theres a yearly parade, I forgot whats its called. Its actually exciting.
At Cineleisure, GUESS WHO I SAW! Remember the show on channel 8, 7pm? The teacher, Yo yo who wanted to be a star? I saw one of her student, 'Situ Bi'! OUTSIDE CINE! I was like AWWWWWW SO CUTE!
Anyone have an idea where to alter my jeans?
Rum is for drinking not burning - Senses fail
Chaw.
P.S Mmm... sick of you?
Friday, February 23, 2007
I wake up and think dreams arent real,
I sleep so I dont have to feel,
the truth that you can never be
the one person that wont ever forget me.
I hope that dreams come when I die,
So we can talk, I wont wake up,
Ill ask how your life worked out,
Ill never know that Im just dreaming.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
I sleep so I dont have to feel,
the truth that you can never be
the one person that wont ever forget me.
I hope that dreams come when I die,
So we can talk, I wont wake up,
Ill ask how your life worked out,
Ill never know that Im just dreaming.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Let me sleep somemore.
Just act.
Text extracted from Matt Levenhagen.
It becomes a terrible cycle. Going from one thing to another... fighting to keep it going. And often, we fall and loose the little motivation we did have and sink into depression or wonder around aimlessly looking for answer that never come.
Sometimes we have to struggle and sacrifice for a long time to get what we want in life. If any one of you have gone to college, you'll know what im talking about... Years of studying long hours and spending money to go to school not knowing what lies after.
We cant really see the light at the end of each tunnel many times. We have to ignore all good things happening around us to focus on something that we cant even touch yet............ and dont know with 100% certainly it will happen.
Am I being a financial burden to my family?
THEODORE ROOSEVELT:
Its not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
-
I bargained with life for a penny,
And life pay no more,
However I begged at evening,
When I counted my scanty store.
For life is just an employer,
He gives what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked foe a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wages I asked of life,
Life would have willingly paid.
-
PETER MARSHALL:
When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.
-
Actions will provide you with motivation. Its not the other way round.
You dont get motivated to act, you act to get motivated.
Just act.
Oh my life.
+
My music folder, 525MB, 592 files.
+
More songs folder, 3.14GB, 321 files.
+
More more songs folder, 172MB, 50 files.
+
Other folders, 1.22GB, 314 files.
=
15.9GB, 2519 files.
I cant think of the days if one day I'd lost them all. Oh my life.
I love movies, articles, questions that provoke deep thinking.
Its not the girls around you, the only thing I needed the most is emotional affection.
Im glad these years of 'lazing around', staying at home, had pull my bond closer with my family.
-
If you feel discouraged when theres a lack of color here
Please dont worry lover, its really bursting at the seams
from absorbing everything the spectrum's A to Z.
This is fact not fiction for the first time in years
All the girls in every girlie magazine cant make me feel any less alone,
Im reaching for the phone to call at 7:03 and on your machine,
I slur a plea for you to come home.
But I know its too late, and I should have given you a reason to stay
Passenger seat - Death cab for cutie
Deuce.
P.S I love you. <-- reminds me, P.S I love you - The all american rejects
Thursday, February 22, 2007
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the
way things turn out."
How life comes at you today is determined by your past. How you
take it is determined by your present.
-
He said, "the feeling its like we have been together for a very long time."
I told him, "Its just our time, our time to feel love and be love."
But sometimes or somehow, I felt that the feeling is not mutual.
Lux Aeterna - Clint Mansell
Lates.
way things turn out."
How life comes at you today is determined by your past. How you
take it is determined by your present.
-
He said, "the feeling its like we have been together for a very long time."
I told him, "Its just our time, our time to feel love and be love."
But sometimes or somehow, I felt that the feeling is not mutual.
Lux Aeterna - Clint Mansell
Lates.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Wow the local channel tv programme commercial just played Saosin song, wow thats new. Im suprised.
Woke up at 7am+ today. Mmm wth, previously the night, I couldnt get to sleep. I was too afraid to sleep. I remembered waking up after two hours of sleep in the middle of the night. I woke up and felt terribly afraid. I was so desperate to hear some familiar voices. I keep thinking that someone is after me, wants to kill me. Then I keep hearing footsteps outside the room. For like half and hour, I stayed awake, listening to those footsteps until my sis moved, the footsteps are gone. I AM, still afraid to move nor sleep. Eventually, I began to fear my sis as well.
Finally, I heard my mom outside the room. I was relieved and fall asleep.
Ahh im so exhausted now.
J came early in the morning to tutor me. How sweet =D
Went to watch Norbit. Home.
3rd measurement in C (Acoustic)- Saosin
Bai.
P.S Can I say im addicted to you.
Woke up at 7am+ today. Mmm wth, previously the night, I couldnt get to sleep. I was too afraid to sleep. I remembered waking up after two hours of sleep in the middle of the night. I woke up and felt terribly afraid. I was so desperate to hear some familiar voices. I keep thinking that someone is after me, wants to kill me. Then I keep hearing footsteps outside the room. For like half and hour, I stayed awake, listening to those footsteps until my sis moved, the footsteps are gone. I AM, still afraid to move nor sleep. Eventually, I began to fear my sis as well.
Finally, I heard my mom outside the room. I was relieved and fall asleep.
Ahh im so exhausted now.
J came early in the morning to tutor me. How sweet =D
Went to watch Norbit. Home.
3rd measurement in C (Acoustic)- Saosin
Bai.
P.S Can I say im addicted to you.
And yes again. Who am I? What am I here for? Whats the reason, the life long mission im suppose to complete. What am I strong at? Can I even complete simple tasks? Im always trying to prove myself. What am I proving? Can I even grow up? I stay stagnant. People's growing every stages while I stay stagnant and falls down back. The mentality, instead of growing older, I retrovert.
And of course, the pointless blabberings. Sleepless nights. Ahh sleeping pills, please?
My guardian angel - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Bai.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Fall out boys coming to SG! NOT really a huge fans of them, their songs arent that attractive to me. At least, none of the rifts sounds good to me. Shitty bands should stop coming to SG.
Just realise something. The first initial of Fall Out Boys make another word. FOB. HAHAHA FOBBB wtface? Fresh off board.
Might go for check up and treatment. Mmm its even embarassing to talk about it. Think about approaching.
My family always be my best friend.
San hu hai - Jay chou
Deuce.
Just realise something. The first initial of Fall Out Boys make another word. FOB. HAHAHA FOBBB wtface? Fresh off board.
Might go for check up and treatment. Mmm its even embarassing to talk about it. Think about approaching.
My family always be my best friend.
San hu hai - Jay chou
Deuce.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Woke up at 10am today. Meet J for shopping. Happily walked out of the MRT station, walked towards Wisma. WHAT! Closed for CNY! Wth is wronnng with SG man. Hari raya? Shop dont close. Deepavali? Shop dont close. Christmas? Business still going. April fool day? Still going. WUSSUP WITH CNY?! What the deuce. Whats so special about this friggin CNY. Its just another holiday. Its just another day. Its just like any other day.
So..... we went to Lido. Ate SUBWAY! Weee. Yup it is healthy and yummeh. Watched Hannibal Rising. Dangmang. The movie didnt came out as what I had expected. Totally off. Its soo disappointing after I finish watching it. I read about the profiling of Hannibal Lecter before watching it. Its really off the cliche.
" Cannibalism is Lecter's signature, but Lecter is not satisfied to simply eat his victims. He must feast on them. The elaborate preparation for a five-star meal of human flesh is as much a part of his fantasy as eating the flesh. The preparation of the still living brain of Paul Krendler, Starling's nemesis, is a recipe worthy of Gourmet magazine."
And yes, when I was watching the movie, I expected Hannibal to feast on them. But nop, only the cheeks are eaten.
I expected a more abstract projection of the movie.
"Mischa's horrible slaughter and consumption by the deserters formed the fantasy that shaped Hannibal Lecter, a revenge fantasy. In his dream, the deserters are crude and uncouth. They're not soldiers but deserters, cowards, ignoble by definition. They take over Lecter's parents' property and relegate the young residents to the barn. Their breath stinks. They butcher a deer as Neanderthals would. They screech like greedy vultures when they see the spilled blood seeping into the snow."
"When he grows up, Lecter targets men he considered petty and uncouth."
Its not even about direct revenge which the movie shown.
The profiling and real life models of Hannibal Lecter. Click.
Before we went into the movie, we sat at MC's listening to his iPod. When I listen to that song by John Legend. I felt kind of bliss. My eyes teared a lil.
I wanted that moment to freeze. Can we sit forever.
Ahh, another unforgettable song. Memory registered.
Marching bands of manhattan - Death cab for cutie
Chaw.
P.S Time to start my infinite timetable of the year. zzz.
So..... we went to Lido. Ate SUBWAY! Weee. Yup it is healthy and yummeh. Watched Hannibal Rising. Dangmang. The movie didnt came out as what I had expected. Totally off. Its soo disappointing after I finish watching it. I read about the profiling of Hannibal Lecter before watching it. Its really off the cliche.
" Cannibalism is Lecter's signature, but Lecter is not satisfied to simply eat his victims. He must feast on them. The elaborate preparation for a five-star meal of human flesh is as much a part of his fantasy as eating the flesh. The preparation of the still living brain of Paul Krendler, Starling's nemesis, is a recipe worthy of Gourmet magazine."
And yes, when I was watching the movie, I expected Hannibal to feast on them. But nop, only the cheeks are eaten.
I expected a more abstract projection of the movie.
"Mischa's horrible slaughter and consumption by the deserters formed the fantasy that shaped Hannibal Lecter, a revenge fantasy. In his dream, the deserters are crude and uncouth. They're not soldiers but deserters, cowards, ignoble by definition. They take over Lecter's parents' property and relegate the young residents to the barn. Their breath stinks. They butcher a deer as Neanderthals would. They screech like greedy vultures when they see the spilled blood seeping into the snow."
"When he grows up, Lecter targets men he considered petty and uncouth."
Its not even about direct revenge which the movie shown.
The profiling and real life models of Hannibal Lecter. Click.
Before we went into the movie, we sat at MC's listening to his iPod. When I listen to that song by John Legend. I felt kind of bliss. My eyes teared a lil.
I wanted that moment to freeze. Can we sit forever.
Ahh, another unforgettable song. Memory registered.
Marching bands of manhattan - Death cab for cutie
Chaw.
P.S Time to start my infinite timetable of the year. zzz.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
I find the whole convo truely amusing. Its just me, trying to find enterainment as im seriously bored as hell.
Mom: Why are you still lazing around? Dont until last min, N level reached and you havent even prepared for it.
Erns: Huh? N level? I thought you take O level.
Trish: Noo I take N level first to have a cert at least.
Erns: Ooo. Actually N level you dont have to study want.
Trish: Ehh dont like that say. If I have that mindset then I wont even least bother to study. Look mom, shes influencing me. Shes making me laze around even more. Mommy please scold her please.
Mom: What if you till 50 years old still like that?
Trish: Nvm nvm its okay. Jie jie will take me in.
Erns: No? No i will not. I only help people who help themself.
Trish: Okay nvm. Mummy give me all your CPF okay?
Mom: My CPF will be in your CPF account.
Trish: Whaaaat man, ehhh mommy dont like that. Gimme your CPF in cash okay?
Mom: Ohh that means you want me to die early isit?
Trish: No no I mean in future. CPF untill 55 then can take out. I dont think I can live til 55.
Erns: I want to live until 75+. With my children and stuffs.
Trish: I want to die young. I want to die a glorious death and an unforgettable one.
Mom: Go die for the nation. *Laughs*
Mom: You know how people wont forget your death? Advertise on the papers to donate every single one of your organs when you die.
Trish: NO!
Trish: Nevermind. Cannnn. Takkeeee take. Take la takee take all my organs. Its okay. Just take. TAKE ALL YOU WANT.
Trish: Nooop. No way. I wont donate my organs not because of religious reasons. Its just because im plain selfish. Im just pure selfish. *Smirks*
*Mom trying not to laugh*
*Erns frowns and try to concentrate at her work.*
Mom: How is your life now is how your life gonna be in the afterlife.
Trish: What nonsense. I dont believe in afterlife. Its all rubbish.
Mom: Okay if you dont believe. You will regret when you die and you cant change it.
Trish: Its allll a FRUAD. Its all a fraud. Its fake. Its a myth its not even real. It is made -interrupted-
Erns: I cannot concentrate.
Trish: Err okay sorry. Just entertaining myself.
Trish: Mommy, I find this conversation really amusing.
*Mom smiles trying not to laugh again*
Mom: So distracting, I cant study.
Trish: Are you saying that IM distracting? How could you Ma? How could you say that? HURTZ! I cant believe you said im distracting.
Mom: You know it.
Erns: Can shut up.
*Trish walks to the com, opens blogger*
Erns: Stop finding stuffs to blog on.
Trish: Errr actually I am blogging it. *Nyahaha*
Mom: Why are you still lazing around? Dont until last min, N level reached and you havent even prepared for it.
Erns: Huh? N level? I thought you take O level.
Trish: Noo I take N level first to have a cert at least.
Erns: Ooo. Actually N level you dont have to study want.
Trish: Ehh dont like that say. If I have that mindset then I wont even least bother to study. Look mom, shes influencing me. Shes making me laze around even more. Mommy please scold her please.
Mom: What if you till 50 years old still like that?
Trish: Nvm nvm its okay. Jie jie will take me in.
Erns: No? No i will not. I only help people who help themself.
Trish: Okay nvm. Mummy give me all your CPF okay?
Mom: My CPF will be in your CPF account.
Trish: Whaaaat man, ehhh mommy dont like that. Gimme your CPF in cash okay?
Mom: Ohh that means you want me to die early isit?
Trish: No no I mean in future. CPF untill 55 then can take out. I dont think I can live til 55.
Erns: I want to live until 75+. With my children and stuffs.
Trish: I want to die young. I want to die a glorious death and an unforgettable one.
Mom: Go die for the nation. *Laughs*
Mom: You know how people wont forget your death? Advertise on the papers to donate every single one of your organs when you die.
Trish: NO!
Trish: Nevermind. Cannnn. Takkeeee take. Take la takee take all my organs. Its okay. Just take. TAKE ALL YOU WANT.
Trish: Nooop. No way. I wont donate my organs not because of religious reasons. Its just because im plain selfish. Im just pure selfish. *Smirks*
*Mom trying not to laugh*
*Erns frowns and try to concentrate at her work.*
Mom: How is your life now is how your life gonna be in the afterlife.
Trish: What nonsense. I dont believe in afterlife. Its all rubbish.
Mom: Okay if you dont believe. You will regret when you die and you cant change it.
Trish: Its allll a FRUAD. Its all a fraud. Its fake. Its a myth its not even real. It is made -interrupted-
Erns: I cannot concentrate.
Trish: Err okay sorry. Just entertaining myself.
Trish: Mommy, I find this conversation really amusing.
*Mom smiles trying not to laugh again*
Mom: So distracting, I cant study.
Trish: Are you saying that IM distracting? How could you Ma? How could you say that? HURTZ! I cant believe you said im distracting.
Mom: You know it.
Erns: Can shut up.
*Trish walks to the com, opens blogger*
Erns: Stop finding stuffs to blog on.
Trish: Errr actually I am blogging it. *Nyahaha*
Woke up 8am in the morning. Dang I felt I slept too much this few days. Greeted everyone a Happee CNY. At around 10am+, my mom DEMAND for a wishing and oranges. HAHA. I took the oranges greeted my dad, "Gong xi fa cai, shen di jian kang.. errrrrr............. duo duo jien." LOL I dunno the idioms for it so I said it my way. I took one more red packet from them anyway.
Luck of the year
Studies, good.
Work, good.
Love, good.
Health, bad.
Ooo whats that suppose to mean. Maybe like I said to YT, I got cancer. Teehee ;P'
I dont believe in it tho. It just registerd a kind of motivational force the moment its said. Makes me wanna put in more effort into my studies.
How I wish I can see my Dad in suit! He be irresisable LOL! Maybe when my sis is getting married. O thats long.
Or attending a funeral? People wears suit too. Mmm. Touch wood, da ji da li.
Title and registration - Death cab for cutie
Chaw.
Friday,16.02.2007
Yay happee! J meeting me. Woke up late. Reached CWP at 10.15am. Eat. Movie. Protege. Its scary how that lady died. Mmm for a movie of how drug ruin people, A requim for a dream is a better film. ;] Requim for a dream, strongly recommended for download! I have briefly short review about it on the earlier post.
J came my house after the movie. Haha funny stuffs.
J:My wrist is even skinnier than Trish's!
Erns:Then why heavy... Big bone? Nop. Big head..............BIG MOUTH!
Trish,Erns: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
J:Idiot........
Lazed around at the void deck till 7+.
"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall"
Saturday, 18.02.2007
Woke up last. Everyone is waiting for me. Showered.
Sat at the couch.
Dad walked out.
Trish: WOW First time I ever saw you wear a polo tee! SO HANDSOMEEEEEE!
Mommy: Ahaha! You just made his day.
*Looks at Dad* He WAS SMILING TO HIMSELF.
My dad is buff and secksi <3
The whooole day at JB today. 90% of the time, I was spacing out. Sat at the couch, listen to my mp3, stoned.
Went to Skudai parade. First impression, "Whhhaaaat man... we can actually smoke inside the mall?"
Second impression. I felt like we have just walked into, "The mall of CK department store, or 'seng shiong'"
"Can we just get out of here?"
My sis and I felt like the queeen LOL. Seriously, ALL EYES ON US! The guys were all checking us out. The girls, are all looking at my heel. HAHA. I even spotted one, pointing at my heel and said to her friend, "nee kann! hen mei!(Loook very niceee her heels)" I looked at her, she smiled at me with envious. Whhhaaatt man.
"I am god worship me."
Ahhh, a waste of time.
Didnt like my cousin.
Love seat - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Lates.
Yay happee! J meeting me. Woke up late. Reached CWP at 10.15am. Eat. Movie. Protege. Its scary how that lady died. Mmm for a movie of how drug ruin people, A requim for a dream is a better film. ;] Requim for a dream, strongly recommended for download! I have briefly short review about it on the earlier post.
J came my house after the movie. Haha funny stuffs.
J:My wrist is even skinnier than Trish's!
Erns:Then why heavy... Big bone? Nop. Big head..............BIG MOUTH!
Trish,Erns: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
J:Idiot........
Lazed around at the void deck till 7+.
"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall"
Saturday, 18.02.2007
Woke up last. Everyone is waiting for me. Showered.
Sat at the couch.
Dad walked out.
Trish: WOW First time I ever saw you wear a polo tee! SO HANDSOMEEEEEE!
Mommy: Ahaha! You just made his day.
*Looks at Dad* He WAS SMILING TO HIMSELF.
My dad is buff and secksi <3
The whooole day at JB today. 90% of the time, I was spacing out. Sat at the couch, listen to my mp3, stoned.
Went to Skudai parade. First impression, "Whhhaaaat man... we can actually smoke inside the mall?"
Second impression. I felt like we have just walked into, "The mall of CK department store, or 'seng shiong'"
"Can we just get out of here?"
My sis and I felt like the queeen LOL. Seriously, ALL EYES ON US! The guys were all checking us out. The girls, are all looking at my heel. HAHA. I even spotted one, pointing at my heel and said to her friend, "nee kann! hen mei!(Loook very niceee her heels)" I looked at her, she smiled at me with envious. Whhhaaatt man.
"I am god worship me."
Ahhh, a waste of time.
Didnt like my cousin.
Love seat - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Lates.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Hold on little girl
Show me what he's doone to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you
I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you
Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you
Show me what he's doone to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you
I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you
Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you
Am so happy. Today's a good day. First my granny, second YT's not mad anymore. Third, I found my errors in that 20 questions I got wrong. So its not my bad. ITS THE CALCULATOR'S FAULT NOT MINE! I GOT IT RIGHT HMHP.
November rain - Gun N Roses
Lates.
P.S Err wth, Nick is copying every nick i had on my msn. Same habit never dies.
November rain - Gun N Roses
Lates.
P.S Err wth, Nick is copying every nick i had on my msn. Same habit never dies.
Pictures at the end of the post.
Song dedicated back to you and to the memories.
I wish everyone a Happee Valentine's Day.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY JUSTINa!
Im real glad to have met you. You brighten my life once again! ;D
Sigh, what a lonely valentine *Grumbles*
Went to change my passport photo today. Stupid friggin photo needs to have my hair to be tidy. Looking so geeky and PLUS the lights are sooo bright and my photos turns out to be soooo pale. I look like a dead person sitting. Plus plus, I dunno if I should smile or not HAHA. So I gave a uhh weird-looking non-smile smile.
Ahh I lost the spare photos or I would have scan it and given everyone a laugh at it.
And, I BOUGHT ANOTHER HEELS! <333 Heels. I feel like buying another one o_o But nah, dont wanna get a scolding. *dun dun dun*
I came across a funny quote.
Valentines day = Single awareness day. HAHA.
Im not used to the happy template still.
I think the Grammy awards 2007 telecast in Singapore had been cut? Or either, I missed the part. I read the site. OMGWTFBBQZORS DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE WAS THERE TOO! The killers and The fray. WHAT?! I didnt even see them perform or nominated for award.
Best Pop Duo or Group With Vocal
The Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"
Death Cab for Cutie - "I Will Follow You Into the Dark"
The Fray - "Over My Head (Cable Car)" I DIDNT SEE THEM.
Keane - "Is It Any Wonder?"
The Pussycat Dolls - "Stickwitu"
Best Rock Duo or Group With Vocal
Coldplay - "Talk"
The Fray - "How to Save a Life" DIDNT SEE!
The Raconteurs - "Steady As She Goes"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Dani California"
U2 & Green Day - "The Saints Are Coming"
Best Hard Rock
Buckcherry - "Crazy Bitch"
Nine Inch Nails - "Every Day Is Exactly the Same"
System of a Down - "Lonely Day" AHHH THEY WERE THERE TOO?!?! DIDNT SEEE EITHER! EFFFF.
Tool - "Vicarious"
Wolfmother - "Woman"
Best Rock Song
Snow Patrol - "Chasing Cars"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Dani California"
Neil Young - "Lookin' for a Leader"
Bob Dylan - "Someday Baby"
The Killers - "When You Were Young" NOO DIDNT SEEE! I WANNA SEE THEM PERFORMING LIVE. *Cries*
Its either, I missed it or they cut it. Hmhp.
Cant believe Death Cab For Cutie is going mainstream. Its not even Indie anymore. Still love them tho.
My sis's BF delivered the cake! To the house! I ate more than half of it HAHA.
I would love it better if its whiter =P NEXT YEAR I WANT TULIPS!
ERRRRRRRR HAHA. Nothing just something random. Love her! So cuuute <33333
Song dedicated back to you and to the memories.
I wish everyone a Happee Valentine's Day.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY JUSTINa!
Im real glad to have met you. You brighten my life once again! ;D
Sigh, what a lonely valentine *Grumbles*
Went to change my passport photo today. Stupid friggin photo needs to have my hair to be tidy. Looking so geeky and PLUS the lights are sooo bright and my photos turns out to be soooo pale. I look like a dead person sitting. Plus plus, I dunno if I should smile or not HAHA. So I gave a uhh weird-looking non-smile smile.
Ahh I lost the spare photos or I would have scan it and given everyone a laugh at it.
And, I BOUGHT ANOTHER HEELS! <333 Heels. I feel like buying another one o_o But nah, dont wanna get a scolding. *dun dun dun*
I came across a funny quote.
Valentines day = Single awareness day. HAHA.
Im not used to the happy template still.
I think the Grammy awards 2007 telecast in Singapore had been cut? Or either, I missed the part. I read the site. OMGWTFBBQZORS DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE WAS THERE TOO! The killers and The fray. WHAT?! I didnt even see them perform or nominated for award.
Best Pop Duo or Group With Vocal
The Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"
Death Cab for Cutie - "I Will Follow You Into the Dark"
The Fray - "Over My Head (Cable Car)" I DIDNT SEE THEM.
Keane - "Is It Any Wonder?"
The Pussycat Dolls - "Stickwitu"
Best Rock Duo or Group With Vocal
Coldplay - "Talk"
The Fray - "How to Save a Life" DIDNT SEE!
The Raconteurs - "Steady As She Goes"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Dani California"
U2 & Green Day - "The Saints Are Coming"
Best Hard Rock
Buckcherry - "Crazy Bitch"
Nine Inch Nails - "Every Day Is Exactly the Same"
System of a Down - "Lonely Day" AHHH THEY WERE THERE TOO?!?! DIDNT SEEE EITHER! EFFFF.
Tool - "Vicarious"
Wolfmother - "Woman"
Best Rock Song
Snow Patrol - "Chasing Cars"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Dani California"
Neil Young - "Lookin' for a Leader"
Bob Dylan - "Someday Baby"
The Killers - "When You Were Young" NOO DIDNT SEEE! I WANNA SEE THEM PERFORMING LIVE. *Cries*
Its either, I missed it or they cut it. Hmhp.
Cant believe Death Cab For Cutie is going mainstream. Its not even Indie anymore. Still love them tho.
My sis's BF delivered the cake! To the house! I ate more than half of it HAHA.
I would love it better if its whiter =P NEXT YEAR I WANT TULIPS!
ERRRRRRRR HAHA. Nothing just something random. Love her! So cuuute <33333
Monday, February 12, 2007
Monday morning hesitate,
cant get out of bed.
I'd rather go back to the dreams,
living in my head.
Tuesday evening packed my bags,
and headed out the door.
I left a box of memories,
lying on the floor.
Running from the city lights
Running from this empty life
I'm running out of time tonight
I'm screaming out for help
But no one heard me yelled.
cant get out of bed.
I'd rather go back to the dreams,
living in my head.
Tuesday evening packed my bags,
and headed out the door.
I left a box of memories,
lying on the floor.
Running from the city lights
Running from this empty life
I'm running out of time tonight
I'm screaming out for help
But no one heard me yelled.
Ah the long last change of template. Fucking years.
Mmm weird no one uses this template. Its nice ._.
Its either I sleep too much or sleep too little. Whaaaat man. I havent been studying this few days. Slacking, so tempting.
Iono... I dont understand why, he doubted my seriousness to the relationship.
Gigi D'agostino - I will fly with you 2007(Solex vs Jotty booty RMX)
Lates.
P.S Im loving the template.
Mmm weird no one uses this template. Its nice ._.
Its either I sleep too much or sleep too little. Whaaaat man. I havent been studying this few days. Slacking, so tempting.
Iono... I dont understand why, he doubted my seriousness to the relationship.
Gigi D'agostino - I will fly with you 2007(Solex vs Jotty booty RMX)
Lates.
P.S Im loving the template.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Ah, so much thoughts in my head, couldnt get to sleep.
I guess this is the best time of her life. The glory the happiness the full satisfication, oh the joy! The happiest moment of her life.
The 5 years of endurance, hard works, persistance. Just for the moment. Just for this moment. It is all worth it.
YT, time to rejoice! I feel glad for you despite of the dispute we had.
This is something which i should be looking forward to. I dont wanna live my life aimlessly. I should be finding motivation within myself and not getting motivation from others. E.G "Pa, what do I get if I get good results?" Instead, I look forward to what I should improve each day. I will pull thru the days.
And no more emo shits from me.
Oh the life, emo days are over.
Imma start a timetable weekly. At least that helps me now.
Ahh this song makes me happy. -2005 memory.
Soul meets body - Death cab for cutie
Lates.
P.S REJOICE! "It is all worth it."
I guess this is the best time of her life. The glory the happiness the full satisfication, oh the joy! The happiest moment of her life.
The 5 years of endurance, hard works, persistance. Just for the moment. Just for this moment. It is all worth it.
YT, time to rejoice! I feel glad for you despite of the dispute we had.
This is something which i should be looking forward to. I dont wanna live my life aimlessly. I should be finding motivation within myself and not getting motivation from others. E.G "Pa, what do I get if I get good results?" Instead, I look forward to what I should improve each day. I will pull thru the days.
And no more emo shits from me.
Oh the life, emo days are over.
Imma start a timetable weekly. At least that helps me now.
Ahh this song makes me happy. -2005 memory.
Soul meets body - Death cab for cutie
Lates.
P.S REJOICE! "It is all worth it."
AHHHHHHHHHH SO HAPPY! Sher told me where to find BAND TEES! Been looking for band tees since years! WEEEEEEE!
Nyah gonna go find the shop tomorrow. Maybe I will like EVERYTHING from the shop. She says its like HOTTOPIC which is my fav shop =]
Today, went shopping the whole day, didnt see anything I like even the slightest. But shoes, i wanted the whole shop. LOL.
Congrats YT for her amazing results. Didnt dare to ask her so I asked PY. The results of her hard work and effort.
I hope I can be like her. Ahh long way for me.
Diet starts. All the pigging out, NONE!
Marc korn - summer of love [mysterio radio cut]
Ciao.
P.S J CHEATED ME MY-EEEEEE CHEESECAKE! Hmhp.
Nyah gonna go find the shop tomorrow. Maybe I will like EVERYTHING from the shop. She says its like HOTTOPIC which is my fav shop =]
Today, went shopping the whole day, didnt see anything I like even the slightest. But shoes, i wanted the whole shop. LOL.
Congrats YT for her amazing results. Didnt dare to ask her so I asked PY. The results of her hard work and effort.
I hope I can be like her. Ahh long way for me.
Diet starts. All the pigging out, NONE!
Marc korn - summer of love [mysterio radio cut]
Ciao.
P.S J CHEATED ME MY-EEEEEE CHEESECAKE! Hmhp.
Friday, February 09, 2007
AHH am so happy. I spend two hours looking for that one trance FM. Its been my fav FM since few years ago. I USED to enjoy trance. Ha, my taste keep changing. Rock's still my all-time tho. I guess trance goes well with my studies.
I was checking all msn buddy, and peoples I knew from that FM. Checking if they or I did mention the FM name. x_x Finally found it!
Love spanish trance <3 Or was it france. W.e
Enigma - Gladiator Theme(Trance mix)
Lates.
P.S Its weird to type some trance music here in an emo blog. o.o
I was checking all msn buddy, and peoples I knew from that FM. Checking if they or I did mention the FM name. x_x Finally found it!
Love spanish trance <3 Or was it france. W.e
Enigma - Gladiator Theme(Trance mix)
Lates.
P.S Its weird to type some trance music here in an emo blog. o.o
Thursday, February 08, 2007
My mom just said to me this three words, "敗家子! ; bai jia zi" a moment ago. I felt sad and deeply hurt by her words.
Out of 21 question, I got 1 right. How horrible is that. I still couldnt understand why, I even use the calculator, could it be the book's mistake? Couldnt be. No reason 20 questions wrong totally. What a waste of my time. Felt so demotivated to start doing maths questions again.
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know Ill be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
Its okay its okay its okay.
敗; bai; be defeated; lose; fail
家; jia; family
子; zi; son; child
敗家子; bai jia zi; prodigal; wastrel; spendthrift; idler
Get the point?
Your guardian angel - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Lates.
Out of 21 question, I got 1 right. How horrible is that. I still couldnt understand why, I even use the calculator, could it be the book's mistake? Couldnt be. No reason 20 questions wrong totally. What a waste of my time. Felt so demotivated to start doing maths questions again.
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know Ill be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
Its okay its okay its okay.
敗; bai; be defeated; lose; fail
家; jia; family
子; zi; son; child
敗家子; bai jia zi; prodigal; wastrel; spendthrift; idler
Get the point?
Your guardian angel - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Lates.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new
Cause in my head theres a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where theyre far more suited than here
I do believe its true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause youre the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
-2005 memories.
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new
Cause in my head theres a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where theyre far more suited than here
I do believe its true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause youre the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
-2005 memories.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Why is it am I always the one who chose to stay?
Why is it Im always the one who trys to make things right?
Im always the one who reminise. They chose to forget.
Im always the one who says i miss you. They chose to ignore.
And the one who crawls in gore would always be me.
Can I choose not to care this time?
I stay stagnant.
Why is it Im always the one who trys to make things right?
Im always the one who reminise. They chose to forget.
Im always the one who says i miss you. They chose to ignore.
And the one who crawls in gore would always be me.
Can I choose not to care this time?
I stay stagnant.
First thing first. I WOKE UP ACCORDINGLY WITHOUT ALARM! Suprising. I remember I had a dream. Its weird you know. I dream about Lan and he saying,....... humm nvm. With the song by Escape the Fate playing in the background. I end up waking up, humming the song.
Secondly, I FOUND YAYA'S BLOG NYAHAHAHA! Smarty ass. =D Actually, kuants found it. That damn stalker.
Secondly, I FOUND YAYA'S BLOG NYAHAHAHA! Smarty ass. =D Actually, kuants found it. That damn stalker.
I realised I dwell too much of the past and leads to my negligence of the present.
Its irony when I read about people's past on their blog. The uninterrupted clicking of archives, makes me wonder how they spend this month. Why time flies for them but not for me? Its like a fast forward on their life. I wish I could click continuously on my life.
Its funny how people says, optimistic is a good attribute. Facts on how this optimistic-head ruins me.
The world at large - Modest mouse
Bai again.
P.S Im suppose to study. How did I evur end up here?
P.P.S I should start clicking on my life. Move forward girl.
Its irony when I read about people's past on their blog. The uninterrupted clicking of archives, makes me wonder how they spend this month. Why time flies for them but not for me? Its like a fast forward on their life. I wish I could click continuously on my life.
Its funny how people says, optimistic is a good attribute. Facts on how this optimistic-head ruins me.
The world at large - Modest mouse
Bai again.
P.S Im suppose to study. How did I evur end up here?
P.P.S I should start clicking on my life. Move forward girl.
A need to treasure and cherish every single one without conflicts. I find it so hard to keep everyone happy. I am terribly sorry.
I dont want my past to recur. I find it a must to treasure him as well as the others.
I shouldnt let my mood affect someone else as well. Thats selfishly mean. As my mom says, she always trys to control whenever she talks to my granny. To whom it may be, I always try.
I want to make things better in my life. I want to.
Aight.. back to my studies.
Miligram smile - From autumn to ashes
Lates.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
War and beauty ending theme lyric.
砒霜(合唱版)
林:万物中你我一息间错摸
种因结果然后万劫不复
黎:明明灭灭目光交错苦海点猛火
是你闪身路过竟勾引着我
林:为你牺牲已注定似身染绝症
黎:尝尽你的砒霜要我命
连累我眼睛挂念有声
林:轮回在生生死死感情才尽兴
可笑爱情为殉情
合:大半生沦落至此不过为证明
短促泡沫泡影
林:朝花晚拾仍然能尽兴
早已注定难安定
合:遗憾最终证实时间
汹涌能磨灭风景
但最舍不得的是这份情
若永不可超生亦也为情
林:问是否有个贪花可结果
爱少怨多黄梁梦惹的祸
黎:寻寻觅觅电光闪过空得到痛楚
万法心经念破甘于去犯错
林:用你砒霜救我命我不怕任性
黎:情愿至死心境至冷静
忘掉了眼睛我就看清
砒霜(合唱版)
林:万物中你我一息间错摸
种因结果然后万劫不复
黎:明明灭灭目光交错苦海点猛火
是你闪身路过竟勾引着我
林:为你牺牲已注定似身染绝症
黎:尝尽你的砒霜要我命
连累我眼睛挂念有声
林:轮回在生生死死感情才尽兴
可笑爱情为殉情
合:大半生沦落至此不过为证明
短促泡沫泡影
林:朝花晚拾仍然能尽兴
早已注定难安定
合:遗憾最终证实时间
汹涌能磨灭风景
但最舍不得的是这份情
若永不可超生亦也为情
林:问是否有个贪花可结果
爱少怨多黄梁梦惹的祸
黎:寻寻觅觅电光闪过空得到痛楚
万法心经念破甘于去犯错
林:用你砒霜救我命我不怕任性
黎:情愿至死心境至冷静
忘掉了眼睛我就看清
Read YT's blog. She talked about death.
Well. How would I die? How would I rather die?
This, I had said before somewhere in my blog.
I wanna lead a glorious life and die young. ;]
Die from the intoxication of alcohol.
Die happily without regrets.
Die leaving everything behind, knowing no one will weep and mourn for me, so I can go peacefully.
Die in a way, painful or painless, that everyone wouldnt forget.
But thats impossible.
I could die knowing i didnt had a great life.
I could die regretting on the things ive done or didnt try to attempt.
I could die thinking my life is a waste.
I could die without anyone by me.
Whats the aftermath?...
War and beauty theme - Lam bou yi
P.S Look after you.
Well. How would I die? How would I rather die?
This, I had said before somewhere in my blog.
I wanna lead a glorious life and die young. ;]
Die from the intoxication of alcohol.
Die happily without regrets.
Die leaving everything behind, knowing no one will weep and mourn for me, so I can go peacefully.
Die in a way, painful or painless, that everyone wouldnt forget.
But thats impossible.
I could die knowing i didnt had a great life.
I could die regretting on the things ive done or didnt try to attempt.
I could die thinking my life is a waste.
I could die without anyone by me.
Whats the aftermath?...
War and beauty theme - Lam bou yi
P.S Look after you.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Half awake from a dream, we know of this coldness
What is love, nothing but something filled with wailing wind and weeping rain
Bleeding, scarlet vision, although I have to make more turns around the bends
Waking up the next day, still feeling intoxicated.
As expected there can only be one ending, theres no joy in the least
Even though you shout and cry in pain, and being pulled away, its just right
Why is it that even till Im burning in this fierce fire, I still dont mind going through it with you?
Tell me, that when I wake up from this life, Ill be intoxicated again.
Asking Heaven, how many happy ones are there?
I tremble, are your lips warm or cold?
Sinking, sinking into the pillow side in the dark
I know its wrong, but i havent the strength to reverse the wrongs, let love decide this moment
Logic cant decide sadness or happiness, tears or smiles, being together and being apart.
What is love, nothing but something filled with wailing wind and weeping rain
Bleeding, scarlet vision, although I have to make more turns around the bends
Waking up the next day, still feeling intoxicated.
As expected there can only be one ending, theres no joy in the least
Even though you shout and cry in pain, and being pulled away, its just right
Why is it that even till Im burning in this fierce fire, I still dont mind going through it with you?
Tell me, that when I wake up from this life, Ill be intoxicated again.
Asking Heaven, how many happy ones are there?
I tremble, are your lips warm or cold?
Sinking, sinking into the pillow side in the dark
I know its wrong, but i havent the strength to reverse the wrongs, let love decide this moment
Logic cant decide sadness or happiness, tears or smiles, being together and being apart.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Thursday, February 01, 2007
I actually wanted to say, thanks for believing in me. But no. Fucking no. Your just like every MF people who look down on me. Who didnt think I could do it. Yes I AM hopeless. Hate me. Thanks mom and dad. Thanks for beliving that im hopeless. You too. Yes im a loser. And yes too, you didnt know I was prone to Depression. Oh the facade of smiles. Going back to start my epileptic shit anytime in solitary. WOW its so easy live life like a normal person? DONT YOU EXPECT THIS MAN. I HATE EVERY FUCKING PIECE OF ME AND EVERY MINUTE ON EARTH. What? Will I even give a shit about this. I couldnt care less. Made it sound so nice. Thanks. You made everything sound so nice. Thought you were the one giving me support. No, you made me feel like crap. Like shit, useless piece of deformed human, living on this friggin facist shithole. Meaningless. Pointless. Being pushed around, for all I care. The clerk, the teacher. Fuck yall. My emotional bomb. Thanks. For triggering it. Fuck CNY too. And yes, i am hurt. Hurt me a great deal.
Im just tripping. Fuckit. Dont bitch at me. This is my blog. Dont like it? Click the fucking cross.
Forever and a day - Silverstein
Myownsuicidalescape.
Peace nigger.
Im just tripping. Fuckit. Dont bitch at me. This is my blog. Dont like it? Click the fucking cross.
Forever and a day - Silverstein
Myownsuicidalescape.
Peace nigger.
No one will forget the evil seed.
Its dissatisfying. Of how crimelibrary dont update much. The last time I read, when I was 15, now im 18, still the same articles I see.
Still, my favourite article was the one on Kipland Kinkel. Its amazing how I still remember his name tho I had forgotten many parts of my life.
The voices in his head, his journal, the last note, the massacre.
Made me search on more info about him. I even found an audio clip of his trial.
I believe I had post many articles of him on my way past previous posts.
Kipland Kinkel's story.
The book ive been wanting since 15. NYAH. Saw it in the bookstore in Citylink I suppose.
I love reading on my favourite crying past.
"Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that their gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision!"
Still true.
"If im at my deathbed, will I regret on the things ive done, or the things I didnt do?"
-
Sometimes I wonder if im doing the right thing. As what Alphy said, Im fickle-minded. If I dont make up my mind, I wont settle down and get it done.
But what if ive gone thru life the way everyone wanted, will I be satisfied? Alphy told me, hes been here in this world for 33? years, he still dont know what hes doing.
Im a let-down. Hopeless seems to describe me better.
If I had a choice, if only, I would rather not to be brought to the world. Why mom? Why let me suffer here? Why let me do these life-long meaningless decisions of wrong choices. Ahh the life. Im enjoying every minute of my apocalypse.
Alesana - Apology
I'lllosemyselfinanguishfortonight.
P.S I need prozac.
"Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that their gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision!"
Still true.
"If im at my deathbed, will I regret on the things ive done, or the things I didnt do?"
-
Sometimes I wonder if im doing the right thing. As what Alphy said, Im fickle-minded. If I dont make up my mind, I wont settle down and get it done.
But what if ive gone thru life the way everyone wanted, will I be satisfied? Alphy told me, hes been here in this world for 33? years, he still dont know what hes doing.
Im a let-down. Hopeless seems to describe me better.
If I had a choice, if only, I would rather not to be brought to the world. Why mom? Why let me suffer here? Why let me do these life-long meaningless decisions of wrong choices. Ahh the life. Im enjoying every minute of my apocalypse.
Alesana - Apology
I'lllosemyselfinanguishfortonight.
P.S I need prozac.
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