Stressed and pressurized. I totally broke down in front of my family when I talked to them a while ago.
I dont know why I hang on to that job. Prolly its just because of that one thing that keeps me going. A strong goal. But today, I got so demoralized. When I told my mom and sis about it they felt mad and sad for me. They told me to stop working there. And of course I agree totally. I know I dont got enough time left to look for another job. December.. A special month for me. Thats really whats kept me going. But... I nearly cried at my workplace today. I felt.. like a failure. Its like I could just die right there. I wish I could sleep thru the years. My mom said I was depressed. She told me to go out more often to enjoy but.. I dont got much time left. This two months I just wanna make more money. All for Decemeber. She knows about Decemeber too, she sympathtized but she really dont advice me to do it. She told me to postpone it and dont push myself so hard. But I dont wanna delay it anymore.
I cry cause I pity myself, I know I dont deserve this treatment. Im facing so much judgement everyday.

I tried my best.. Sorry if I couldnt make it at Decemeber. =(

I hate the Vivo bitches.

Weird day.
Working as usual. And I saw a customer wearing a shoe that i was looking for. It really loooked like that show from hottopic. And I was like " Uhm hi excuse me where you buy the shoe from?" Shes like suprise LOL.
And and a customer complimented my sevice and wanted me to work in her shop LOL. Wow thats funny. Thats like betraying my company? Haha but HECK. Imma call her sometime to discuss the details ;P

Uhh fuck it. I hate the one week thing.

Still no uniform yeetttt =[
During break time I didnt eat. Made a call and talked all the way. Tee hee hee. Heard some unpleasant stuffs. Changed my impression of him.

When I reach home i was starving to death. My dad drive me to 888 to eat hehe. AND I saw YuRen-ZiXiong. LOL. Okay that guy look like YuRen of the back and look like Zixiong from the front. HE WAS SOO CUTE. Z0mg. I should go on 888 often LMAO.

P.S I miss him but I cant feel him missing me.

O how much I wanna be as fun as before. But you see, everyone has their own goals and aim. I found it. I used to live aimlessly. Waiting for something to happen. I cant go back to what i used to be. The cheerful me and everything seems always easy for me. O how I miss those times...

Jeeez gotta eat that! Subway smellss so damn nice. Everytime I walk past im like OH GAWD OH GAWD OH GAWD LMAO. Seriously.
-
I dunno how to handle this.

Woot pizza in the morning =D
I still love the Carl jr. And Kwang is friggin annoying at msn. -_-

Putting those potential partners aside just cause i love you. You wont know. You dont get it. You dont understand.
So now tell me, how much do I really mean to you?

Anything for someone whos willing to spend more time with me.

Share with me
Cause i need it right now
Let me see your insides
Or write me off
Cause I'd rather stop now if you won't open up

Disappointing =D

So much for talking the whole day with me on my off.
Nice chat. Im lovin it. Im out.

I wasnt jealous before we met
Now every woman I see is a potential threat
And Im possessive, it isnt nice
Youve heard me saying that smoking was my only vice
But now it isnt true
Now everything is new
And all Ive learned has overturned
I beg of you

Dont go wasting your emotion
Lay all your love on me
Dont go sharing your devotion
Lay all your love on me

It was like shooting a sitting duck
A little smalltalk, a smile and baby I was stuck
I still dont know what youve done with me
A grown up woman should never fall so easily
I feel a kind of fear
When I dont have you near
Unsatisfied, I skip my pride
I beg you dear

A beautiful mistake - The ataris

Maybe I'm not ready for this, and you know it.
Maybe I'm too scared to tell you what I'm really thinking
It's not fair to stay together because of regrets we might have.
I don't want to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you?
I'm only trying to be completely honest.

So I guess this is the ending or a beautiful mistake.
And if we both agree that we shouldn't be together why does it hurt so much?
I feel like I lost my closest friend.
I don't want to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you?
I hope you're happy and completely lonely.

There I am standing all alone on Sydney Harbor Bridge.
And you know I would jump into the fucking ocean if it meant I was truly capable of being satisfied.
Well I ever be?
Did I just give up the best thing I ever had?

Saturday
Sucks. Bitches.
9.15pm : Staring at the entrance for a moment then realise that theres someone staring at me. I turned to look z0mg Darren, Yiling and JW was there. I WAS SO SHOCK LOL. So sweet of them to come look for me. And went to Discussion after that to drink. I didnt want to go in the first place cause I was looking so gay. I was working duh. And and Darren brought me Nachos with CHEEEEESE omfg so sweet of him.
When I was at Discussion, the boss was like. "Why you dress like that? You look so stylish last week." I was like IM WORKING T_T
Had a little drink there but I still puke in the end. Gawd I always puke when I had vodka.
Today
Omfg the bitch gonna dork my pay if im late again. I was like PAPA ZAI WO QU ZUO GONG! Omfg my dad was speeeeding on the bike. I was like hanging on to my life LOL cause I havent wear the helmet properly and its like flying off my head. Jeeez.
And same stuffs... BITCHES.
And around 9pm I saw Darren outside my workplace agian. I was shock too. Cause I didnt expect him to come. And and I told him to buy me a bottle of water and no food pls. AND HE BOUGHT CARL JR FOR MEE OMFG IM ON A DIET DAMNIT. Hahaha couldnt resist it. The food is talking to me.
Then he sent me home. Today my dad sent me to work and someone sent me home after work. I FEEL GOOD NA NA NA NA NA~ lmao =D
And we sat at my house downstairs and talked thruout the night.

LONG LIVE T3H CHICKEN FOLDOVER! Its always there when I neeeded it!
Long live teh chicken foldover~!
So nice of my mom to buy me food. Its like so rare. (:

Started off the day just fine, wasnt late for the first time.

AT break time, I got a suprising call from Kwang. He said hes at Vivo city to look for me at my shop. I was like W.t.F. Then we met for a few mins and I had to go. He said he wait for me til I knock off. I was like o.......k enjoy the four hours waiting (: LOL. But in the end when I knock off he said hes on the way home. So insincere. But I got a feeling he wanted to patch and start courting me again. Hmmmmmmmmm. Sweet revenge? (:

I was at the bus int and one auntie keep talking to me complaining how far is it to work here. I was like im further than you yo. And friggin a, the bus is infested with cockroaches. JEEZ HOW LONG THEY DIDNT CLEAN IT. So effin gross. I was so tense thru out the whole ride.

Kwang said he might find me again tomorrow.

P.S Miss Lan much.

Speaking about JunLong. We had know each other since sec 2. I wonder why all these years had past and he never chose me. Xy and Ly but not me... In fact I had been infatuated with him since Xy was his gf but he never looked at me. I can just stare at him behind my friends.

Ate three pieces of pizza just now AND I dont feel full at all. Maybe I was feeling good and happy for the first time. A glimpse of hope.

Kwang called me just now. He told me JunLong got someone he really likes. I was like Wow thats new. I was even shock when I heard the girl he likes is from a game. I was seeing another version of me. Well I really wish him luck. At least the girl he like is in Singapore too. Unlike me. The one I wanted is so far out of reach.
Kwang wanted to go out with me after my work tomorrow but Darren called me out too. I dont know if im even active to even go out that night.

Marvin and rara met up. Its so nice to hear that. They even got pictures. Whens the day that that will happen to me. I wanna spend my life with him.
Lili started dating too. Everyone is moving on so fast.

-Find happiness by yourself and not in others. Dont wait for others to give you happiness.

Sk-sk-sk-skip working todai =D
Finally I was able to have enough sleep.

When I came ol, Alvin was like hi.
I was like uh huh uh huh hi. He wanted to jio me for a movie. I was like naaah. Then he asked if I do have a bf. I said yup. Hes like why didnt you choose me. I was like thinking, why do I wanna have a bf that think about sex all the time? Then I just told him cause we dont talk anymore. Idiot and he started bragging saying hes been looking everywhere for me but he couldnt find me. What a moron i told him, you know my address duh. And I went back to sleep leaving him talking to himself there hahaha fag.

Funny break today. I went to buy food from that noodle stall then those aunties very talkative ask this ask that. So fun. Then I sat at a four-person table cause there were no more space left. One old man sat with me. I think his bored or something then he kept talking to me about his job, complaining complaining thru out the whole lunch >_> IM TRYING TO EAT MY FOOD YO. But I complain together with him ;P Then I help Gene bought her food. Shes soooo lazy to walk out of the shop >_>
Another funny thing. I hadnt much sleep and I was like blur blur. Then I NEARLY walked into the gents >_> Friggin shit so embarassing. I was like WOOPS >_> Cia sway la.
Then I was chatting the whole day with that part time girl. We were like planning to quit together and find another job together LOL Buttttt of course with Dann.

While I was taking my bus home from Woodlands int. Guess who I saw! Three orange colour uniform, Bala, Satheya and Vinoth LOL I was like BALA! Hes like soooo happy to see me HAHAHA. Then Vinoth and Satheya was there teasing and singing >_> hahaha so miss them (:
Fun guys.

Yesterday passes fast. My new hobby : Standing at the entrance, watching and smiling at cute onlookers walking past.
Hope I can last. Dont break down.
Talked to Lan yesterday =]

Found something that is seriously hilarious.
I was doing my shopping anddd I found something that fits XY.
http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/store/product.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302025502&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442148274&bmUID=1160416595604

=))

And and I fergot to add.

While I was working, I was standing there spacing out. Then I realise someone walking pass was staring at me for a long time then I turn and saw my ex, DANN LOL!
He was like, FUCK YOU! YOU FOUND A JOB ALREADY! You said you wait for me and we go look for a job together! Hahahahahaha thats not exactly the words. What a small world =D
I was like eh?? You come vivo city walk also ar.

Then when I reach home he called and we chatted a while. Whew its a long time =D
Then he said how I used to be anti social back then. LOL i love to talk about the past, its always funny to talk about. I told him, not used to be. I am STILL anti social now! Its been three - four years and we are still good friends =) Thats really rare. Miss him =D
Somehow reminds me of the song Cool-by gwen stefani.

P.S Im gonna quit that job after a month and lets go find a job together =D At least theres someone to talk to while working LOL somemore both full-time. HA HA

This song is so me.

What hurts the most - Rascal flatts
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it overI would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Woke up late as usual. Heading to that dumbass habourfront =(
I see bitches.
Then break time I went to that food center and bought food for Aishah then that Malay guy said thank pretty girl, xie xie. I was like sooo cute LOL
-
Was serving an "ah gua" today LMAO He/she/it was wearing a skirt sooooo short. I was actually praying that I dont see balls hanging out LMAO FTW. Gross out.
-
STUPID BITCHES. Thinking I was new, snatching my customers eh. Fucking bitch.
I miss my aunties =[
-
I chose to runaway but yet I wanted to stay.
I love you, say you love me too.

The man I wanted, never cares.
The man I dont need, cares too much.
Lifes so ionic.

Dont I deserve more? I know I do.
Do I worth your love at all?

Wth LOL I saw this video at py's blog.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOsnWWBeKLQ
FTW HAHAHAHA so sad i wasnt there =(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BULLSHITTTT
Fuckin bs.

I want Bugis! I hate working at Habourfront ftw. IT SUCKS. Transfere me baccccccckkk I miss those aunties LOL.
Just hope the uniform come quuiicckkk =D Im only aiming for that LOL So sophisticated.

>.> stupid taxi abang. Just because i hitched a ride from him doesnt mean he have to bring me out. Friggin a, kept calling and txting me. I DONT WANNA GO OUT WITH A MARRIED MAN OKAY. Period.

Went to drink after work yest. Omagawdeeee im soo tired now =(
Darren so sweet brought me a peach yogurt when i finished work =D Yesss im working at Habourfront today. Got transfered out of Bugis. Its a new shop at Habourfront. Which means I prolly get my kewl uniform today =D!!!!!
They wear what they sell for their uniform! HOW KEWL IS THAT!
=D No hangovers no more. Im just hungry and my shoulder and feet ache.
I just ate three octopus balls yesterday for the whole day. Friggin flu made me so weak and i couldnt even eat. LOL but I went to drink of course. FOR A BOTTLE OF CHIVAS DUH.
And before we went Discussion they actually wanted to go some other places to drink but in the end we still ended up in Discussion. At around 2+ theres a fight RIGHT BESIDE ME. I was like so scare that he will push him over and i was so scare that a cup will fly over. But on the outside I was like enjoying the whole scene LMAO. Benny the bartender was sooo man z0mg. Stopped him from creating a scene.
Meh aight gotta go work now.
Ciao.
P.S I miss Lan =(

Seems like a thousand years had past.

Slept at 8am today and woke up at 4pm =D
Actually going out with Xy but in the end she went out with her bf i dont wanna be a light blub there so i didnt go in the end.
Then before that, LOL the boss called and fired me. I mean not really like " YOU ARE FIRED" Hes like " Come get your pay i found someone else for the job." Then I was like o........k
After a few mins, that job i went for interview months ago, called. And said im hired. I was like wtf.... I just lost a job and i get one almost immediately. How lucky is that. Lucky bastard... LOL
But its at Bugis seiyu =( So far. Spend one hour on a train/bus and i have to work 10 hours everyday =( like kinda worthless. Basic pay only 1k$. And i have to wear all black and i dont got black pants =( Have to wear my mum's. So gay.
Went for supper with them and laughed all the way home =D
Then while I was walking home, a taxi followed me and of course seeing the chance i hitched a ride from him. I know i know, im one of em hitchhikers whos aint afraid to get killed. But no one cares so why should I =D
Guess thats it. Lates.
*Prays* dont get fired anymore.

.......................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................... .......................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................dead.

When I was about to type, "his net is not back yet"
AND HE PMS ME ON YM. I was like OMG! OMAAAAGAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Hes finally bacccckkk! I misss him sooo much =)
Hes back =)

He txted me yesterday =)
I felt so relief so good to hear from him again.

Sitting here all day thinking hows everything there. How is he. Is he doing good?
Im going crazy thinking about him.
-
Didnt went to work again today. Frggn hangover. Prolly gonna get fired >_>
I want a 5-days job.
-
They called me for dinner but I guess imma skip that. No more cash.

Just reached home from drinking. Darren and xy keep calling me to join them. So I was in the mood so I went to Discussion. And it was quite a fun nuight. Was wasnt quite drunk tho I was drinking the whole nioght. Lan finally txt me at around 1.15am. I saw his msg 20mins later. And he didnt reply me thru out =[
I miss him so much. Hope hes alright and ok. Darren was kinda drunk LOL we kept telling him to drink chivas NIC. =D Not my fault na na na~ Xy kept forcing me to drink LOL toooooooo bad I aint drunk YET =D Damn I miss drinking ;P
And the funny was.. The boss and his assistant was like "Do you have a job now? Do you wanna work here for us?" I was like, "You guys interviewed me before a year ago but no one called, so I guess I pass.," You passed me too a year ago =) now its my turn ;P
Darren sent me home to the lift and I waslike telling him to runaway from the cab. /gg "Keep waiting driver!~"
It was okay the night =)

I miss Lan =(
It feels like a thousand years had passed. I wanna see him so bad, I wanna talk to him so bad,.

AINT GOING TO WORK TOM WEEEE!

Went for that interview. Its a multi something marketer. Still I dont like it. Its like that Alphy's job. Zzzzz.
But but that Nelson was so... o_o cute. He dont look like a Singaporean and he speaks Chinese. I dunno if hes a pure chinese but he dont look like one. Then after that I called Yt cause left so little people going for joces bbq. Then I asked her to confirm whos going then I wanted to asked Xy first if shes going but suddenly Yt says she aint going so we went to Amk.

Hes electricity still not up I guess. =(
I miss him. I hope hes safe.

What a weird day.
Its like somethings gonna happen to me. Something that will change my life or something that will change me.
-
That stare i couldnt forget.
-
Went to make my new specs and went to dinner at Woodlands centre with em sistaz.
On the way home on the bus, this one guy kept staring at me from the starting til the end of the ride.
His stare freaked me out. I was getting uncomfortable with that stare and of course I tried not to look but always accidentely looked into his eyes. And wtf? When I looked at him, he continued to stared. Its kinda creepy tho it takes my breath away. And its.. charming o_o Iono...
When he got off the bus.. I gave one last glance at him and i realised he was still staring as he got off the bus.
I cant forget his eyes.
-
The unknown call, the unknown man and that unknown job.
-
I was preapring to go out then I recieved this call from a guy telling me to go for a job interview. I was like thinking,"when did I call for an interview?" I havent read the classified to look for jobs yet. And the past few calls I gave, I gave them my name as Trish not Pei min. And he called saying, "Is this Peimin?" I was like yar? I asked him whats the job about and he said cause they have not enough manpower and they need someone to assist the manager and this will built a path for you for manager and executive something something. Then I was like, "uhhh I dont have an O'level or N'level cert O_o" He said nevermind nevermind its okay. Then he fix the time and place to meet. Then I was O...k.
At night he called again to confirm and he said he pick me up from the station.
I was this job is too good to be true. I was thinking is he a con-man or something. But that arouse my curiosity. Imma go tomorrow.

She said something very demotivating.
"As long as you dont drop out of school. If you leave the school you have no chance."
-
I hope after time passes, our love will be still burning strong.
Your definately the one I wouldnt forget in my life.
I dont want any of these feelings to end. Last forever as long as my blood flows.
I love you.

Fucking pissed.
Wtf? He always do this to me. What am I to him? What do you treat me as?
Return to me soon my ass.
Lets see what excuse your gonna give me this time. "Sry I fell asleep" "Sry net is down"
Blach blah blah fucking blah.

P.S #$!#$@#$

So disappointed with my dad.
Wtf he only found that job and he worked for two days only and he tell me now, hes not gonna work already.
Fuck man. Wtf? Just tell me your lazy damnit.
And he just went to sleep. Fuck him.

Crazy night, crazy stuffs, crazy things. Happy US ^_^
I love you lots.

Deceit; deception...
O how I hate this word.
-
We walked all the way home singing (:
-
The week is planned out for me.
Wonder when can I go look for a school. zzzz
And will they even accept me?
-
Could you even pretend that you want me

Sometimes i think im weird.
I realised I think alot. Maybe too much.

At the end, the thing that keeps me going wasnt you, its me.
I wish I could stay focus. Distractions always cut me off from what I persue.

Appreciate me pls.
I miss.. we were once happy.

P.S I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunkard massage from a man.

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. Thats how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

-

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

-

When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and you ate it until you got sick. In college, it was the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well, you know. Good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.
How do you know when how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask... And when is it all just too much to bear?

-

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.

I watched Singapore Idol and I saw someone that looks like YuRen o_o
I wonder how he is.. THO hes friends and him was a dick.
-
Im just hanging on to something I thought worth it.
Still holding on.

Im sorry but seeing you mad is so sexy.
Oh noes, forget chu!

Go away Mark, I aint attracted to you so cut your stupid lame jokes.

OMG that auntie is sooooooo naggy. She had to repeat everything she said three times. Do you think im retarded or something? OH HECK NO MORON. She even had to say the most common sense things. Like as if I wouldnt know that <_<
I wanna work alone soon! So my mp3 can be in use LOL gg ^_^

Ciao o.o

P.S FORGET CHU! ;D

Woot! Just came home from work and Darren invited me to drink again~ anddd I got so many reasons not to go BUT i want to drink! But stilllll im tired dont wanna take that long ass ride to Somerset. And XY's prolly still mad at me for stooding her up last night. Bah! Iono....

A video I leeched from PeiYin's blog. Lol check it out its hilarious.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R9TA8NVCNyY

z0mg! Xy called and asked me to go HP! LOL I was like you wanna die, die yourself dont ask me along LOL
WTFFFFFFF I aint going! She said " wo men ke yi ZHONG CHU JIANG HU!" LOL Zhong chu jiang hu YOUR ASS! NO WAYYY stop persauding me to go that cause im NOT going there! Unless PY go along with me.
Hougang Plaza... hell of a place. Thousands places to choose in Singapore, she just have to chose there. LOL cant stop laughing when she said HP.

I wonder whats wrong with me and the old peoples. I get easily annoyed and irritated by whatever she does; walking, talking, ANYTHING. Shees, cant seems to do things faster.
Omg I need to reflect. Bad grand daughter I am.
I love my friends and my family.

Felt so lazy today. Abli txt me and we met at 8.30. Well it was fine. Tho it was kinda boring.
-
Shit I skipped working out today and i feel fat tho i didnt eat much.
-
Im tired of being so far away from him =[
I wanted more. I want to feel him, touch him, kiss him.
I wanna be able to hold him.
We need some help over here, God or Goddess. Tho I dont believe in you LOL

I am suffocating in your lies.
Dont you find this rather familiar?
"Im seeking for your attention blah blah blah"
"blah blah blah busy with school"

"Where did you go the past weeks since u didnt went to school?"
"I stayed home."

When you decided to stop lying and start talking to me with sinceres. With your heart not your ass.

You treat this as a joke?
You think this is fun? Is this a game to you? Are you just playing around with me?

You know when I recieved your msg, I just stare blankly at the ceiling with tears. I felt lifeless. I dont feel anything. I just stared and stared and stared with tears in my eyes.
What are you fooling. Why are you doing this to me?

I gave you my trust and yet you just gotta BETRAY it.


I think im going paranoia. Im seriously gonna have a mental breakdown someday. I cant handle it. Seriously.. I havent slept for two days and im still here.

P.S ARE YOU JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH ME? Answer it with your heart.
P.P.S When is this life gonna end?
P.P.P.S Abli coming to s'pore today. Was spose to call me later.
P.P.P.P.S Your still EVERYTHING to me. /Cries

Slept at 11pm today and woke up at 1.30pm.
They kept persuading me to go out but I refuse.
Then in the end I went out with my sis. Weeeeeeee Sakae Sushi buffet =D
Before that we went to watch Pulse. Z0mg its good. I love the suspense they gave us.
The ending wasnt that great. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY ENDINGS FROM MOST HORROR FILMS ARENT THAT GOOD. It always ruin the movie. But this movie is still nice because of the suspense they kept me.
I was so tense thru out the movie. Maybe i was just trying to be tense to make the movie look good or feel good. But seriously I couldnt relax either. I was so afraid I would mess my hair up.
Were spose to watch Devil wears prada too but in the end we didnt made it cause the movie was too late and we didnt wanna hang around CWP cause 1- were too full. 2- its too boring.

Uhh new wishlist?
-Whole series of Family guy DVDs o_o I wanted that like since last year?
-w810i FUCK
-More liqour
-Unlimited money ;D
-I wanna lose 30 pounds =(
-More songs
-An air tix <3


Best supper ever.
Never felt so belonging before since like last year; ever since i got addicted.
Never felt so belonging back to tha group of bitches ;D, to the world, the real world.

I ate Hokkien mee AGAIN at 515. God I swear im really gonna grow FAT again. With all these suppers and KFCs >_> LY NO MORE KFCS TOMORROW. Lets go Ajisen ramen =D!!!!!
Then we walked all the way to my house, jeez stop complaining about the distance LOL and we met Weijun on the way and he "sent us home". Or was it the otherway, he was too afraid of the dark.
And I watched movies all the way til now ;P

Caught myself thinking of the moments spent with you. I love you truely.
Nothing can stop us now. Distance wont be our obstacles.
Na na na~ I love youuu.

"Baby I dont know why its like that, but your just god damn sexy when your mad."

P.S Sis, dont feel so left out, I love you too! LOL
P.P.S I want liqour =[

Ehh everyone is working today. I dont got no money either.
Stay home nua =[
-
I can only last for another week the most with the rest of my money.
What do i do after a weeeeek!
-
Mom kept telling me to find a school.
-
Supper later and they coming to my house.

I love you so much.
Im always gonna forgives you. I always do..
Forgive me too for my attitude.
I wanna be in your arms forever.

"I know i am mean, cold, unreasonable to you but at the same time i felt so scare.. So scare of losing you."
-
Quite a day today. For me at least. Mentally and pyschically or how ever you spell that.
I havent slept since yesterday and its 11.55pm now.
Yesterday whole midnight to dawn - Lay on bed tryna get some sleep. Thinking how did things end up this way. Watching movies the whole dawn.
The whole morning - Lay on the bed trying to get some sleep. Thinking of him. Worrying, waiting for nothing.
The whole afternoon - Switch on my com. Waiting for nothing again. Listening to songs. Working out. Became apathetic to everything because of the pointless waiting and worrying.
The night - OMFG I beg to go home LOL They just wouldnt lett meeeee EVIL BITCH LOL I SAY EVIL BITCH! Just playing =P Went to PS and we argue over what are we eating for dinner LOL =[[ didnt get to eat my Ramen tho. Spencer and Yl came. Then went to eat kfc together. >_> in the end had kfc. Then Michelle and Jocelyn came to meet us for a while. While waiting for them I saw my bitch going up the escalator i was like XY!!! Then she heard someone calling her name but couldnt see us LOL We talked for a while and planned our Monday outing ;P
Went to play Billiard. Blah blah blah~ I walked out of the Billiard room after and before crying. I counted I cried like five times from yesterday. -_- Didnt wanna talk about it more that its over.

P.S I still love you. Just that I felt so helpless, and soo tortured. Emotionally.

Gah gonna get myself busy next week. Dont ask me with what.
With whatever. Work out. Working faithfully. Chillen with them girls.
Think of a way to commit suicide without having my corpse whipped. Lol at that.
Dont fucking care anymore.
-
"OH YOU DO?"
-
Sorry to disturb, wont happen again.
I feel kinda.... immune to your lies.
Gimme a break. Your having me suffer.
-
Shit, been two weeks no leads at all. Fffuck. I neeeed money. I need money liquor. Liqour. Money. Liqour and liqour.
Damn you liar, wheres the three leads you promised me EVERY month. >_>
-
LOL at my granny. She spoke to me in Hokkien saying, how long do you wanna sit at home. "Until I die." What if you dont die? "I'll make me die."
HAHAHHAHA my mom was like, dont talk rubbish. Then my sis laughed and i laughed then we kept laughing.

P.S You got no chance to make it up to me.

Effin waste of time. Loads of craps said. Everything goes back to the same shit again. Whats the point then. Fucking useless.
-
Down for cheese fries?
-
No longer your princess.
Come to me when your bored then. Or when you couldnt find anything else to do.

So bottle up old love, and throw it out to sea
Watch it away as you cry
a year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me, please, I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

I love you so much.

Believe me?

O.G! O GEEEEEEEEEE. Alphy's wife just gave birth last night! Grats man your a papa! LOL
Sheeeeeeeee I rather give myself two slaps than go to work!
AND OMG OMG OMG ABLIIIII IS IN SINGAPORE! HOW COULD HE FORGET MY NUMBER OMG! Hope he calls sooon! So wanna meet him ;D!
CALL MEE !!!! 1111 ONEEEEEEEEEE

And uhh my sleepings problems are back x_x

We are so silly. I love you so much.

I lay awake on my bed with every of these feelings in side of me.
Are we gonna just pretend that we are doing alright?
Just pretend that everythings okay.
Or you dont bother to know.
You just dont need me anymore.

Where has our dreams, love and passion gone to?

You deserve two slaps on your fat, idiotic, smiling face.

Note to self :
PLEASE! Do what your spose to do. Dont change your mind or be lazy about it when the time comes. OKAY? How the fuck are you gonna carry on like that? SO DO W.E YOU INTEND TO. Dont effin be a bum about it again you stupid bish. You gotta make it a habit yo >.>

Slap yourself twice if you forget about it. Or go slit your wrist >_>

Omg u R horny today.!
Gone like twice there LOL
Jeez and I cant sleep now >_>

I didnt accomplish anything today.
Im gonna go work tomorrow.

Another two dreams today. Kewl ^_~
Dreaming makes me excited to sleep ;P
-
Weeeeeee he just called me ;D
I love you~

Ooo I just woke up thinking of that dream I had. So weird.
The dream.
"I was sent to study overseas O_o. And xy didnt want me to go cause she dont want me to leave LOL. And I was late. I drove my car to the airport. <--- LOL AT THAT. Then theres a chinese exam there in the plane O_o wtf. Then I was having migranes sooo bad. I COULD FEEL THE PAIN in my dreams seriously. Then at near end of the exam, I flipped to the last page. ZOMG comprehension. Note to self : I hate Mandarin. I stared at the teacher with despair, and whoever the teacher was, said to me, well you gotta finish that (: screw her. Then I saw xy came along LOL I was like wtf? Shes like, you go I go too (: HAHAHA And after that WTF I saw Lan came O_O" Then I woke up. I felt numb in my head. Prolly cause of the migranes in my dream LOL.

Seriously, ever since my mom switched the position of my bed, I kept having these weird dreams.

Not going work today ;[ Feel bad for myself. No money.

Saosin is the only GOOD psychedelic rock band I heard.
SAOSIN > Relient K
And post-hardcore and screamo definately roxzors D:!!!!
-
OH NOES more songs AHHHH laggyness =(
-
Omg LOL this is my fifth post for today.
Only music and him can make me stay up ^.~

And oh I love this song. I dont know why, I never seems to like it. IT JUST CAUGHT MY EARS like four days ago. And and I love this band from phillipines. Typecast. They sings in english tho ^_^ I LOVE THEM!

For those who like fast tracks ^^,
When flying feels like falling - From first to last

It's days like these, that make me feel,
like I want to bleed through my heart again.
It's days like these, that make me feel,
like I might as well be on my own again.
I take back everything I did, about loving you.
Now that you've left me on the ground,
I can fly away to someone new.
Don't pretend like I don't know you're untrue.
I never meant to bring you down,
nothing but good intentions.
I never meant to bring you down.
Take it back this time,
i'll just move on.
Take my heart,take my heart make it grey make it gray.
I'll never forget.

^_______^ He txted me at around 2 near 3 today. Before that I was so sad so worried and so thinking too much. I was soo happy he txt me. Then I found my pillow wet and I realise I was tearing of relief.

Hey, today is your day.
When fantasies, become reality.
And stop, just let it all go.
You're gonna feel somethings,
From head to toe.

And when the sun is rising up, I'll be there right beside you.

And I will kiss you forever
Lips of silence my favourite endeavour
Feel my arms wrapped around you
Falling into the oceans of virtue <3

OMFGWTFZORRRRRSSZZZZZDSFASFSZXZZZ FROSTBITE IS THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR! MUST WATCH IT! MUST WATCH IT!! Seriously its the most scariest movie ive ever watch! I jumped a thousand times and screamed a thousand times thru out the movie. JEEEZ I CANT EVEN sleep at night and walk home alone ANYMORE CAUSE IT FREAK ME OUT JUST THINKING OF THE MOVIE ALONE. O GEEEE fffuct my $9.50.

LMFAO Can you sense the sarcastism in there?!? OMAGOSH i cant believe I watched that movie. Seriously LY thanks for bringing the five of us for that BEST movie evur LOL Can I smack you? LOL OMG MY $9.50!#!@$!@#@$# You owe me a movie now sadfsdfasdfasdfsdfssfadf.
And im broke =[ only effin 26$ in my bank LOL how poor is that =/
-
I love you so much.

Maybe im just being a lil too unreasonable to him?
Time to reflect girl, if you want this to last.
-
I still love this qoute.
"Oh, and I saw the many places, I once promised the world and a dozen roses."
I think it should be, "Oh, and I saw the many places, he once promised the world and a dozen roses."

Tho it sounds kinda emo, but I still love that qoute ;P

Still felt a lil disappointed I didnt get to drink today. Xy called me saying Darren invites me for drinking in Discussion and hes gonna send me home after that but I didnt go in the end cause Py gotta work tomorrow and I dont wanna go alone. Today is Spencer's bday and the day wasnt as bad as I thought it would (:
I went to Swensen's to return the uniform when they saw me they were like ";O!!" Lmfao I know i looked geeky at work. They were like the "is that Trish?!" expression. And they said theyd call me when they have my check. I doubt >_>; But nvm ((:
And we went to PS to meet spencer then we WALKED all the way to Suntec to eat in a Japanese resto and after that I was craving for Apple crumble ;]
LOL at Spencer! He was like "this girl is crazy!" The funny thing is, "Do you like Black forest cake?" LOLLL "Dont worry its not for you" ((:
And we go ON AND ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT THE CAKE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
After that they gave a suprise to Spencer and the present thingy, the wrapping and the wrapping and the wrapping which I believed. >_>;;
Then we all gave Spencer a kiss on his cheek at the Esplanade LOL. Michelle was soooo shy about it lmao xD
I walked home without ciggie zomg I didnt even realise I finished it. Well actually I rushed home to think that hes waiting for me. Okay nvm.
-
NO MORE CAM WHORING FOR ME ;[
Damn LeeYun T________T Reminds me of my phone =/

I was thinking stuffies on my bed. Thinking bout Lan, peoples, shopping, money then clothings.
Then suddenly, this design just popped in my head. And its so stuck in my mind that I couldnt go to sleep so I just gotta get up and blog this and then try to sleep later on.

P.S Zips and Buttons.

Omg, I just love this qoute.
"Oh, and I once saw the many places, I once promised the world and a dozen roses."

EFFFF I wanna watch devil wears pradaaaaa! Damn ly T_T I swear frostbite suckzorrs. So watch that ^.~
Anyways, I just sold one of my jacket I didnt wore before to my sis LOL Cause I saw a better one =[
Gonna go straight to buy it tom! Or w.e =D

P.S You aint sensitive enough.

Remember the song This is my DJ?
SerangoonYurenThehotelBilliardGettingdrunkHPAmk

Yesterday went shopping with them. Quite fun tho I spend money again. zzzzzzzz. AND MY effin piece of cloth! I wanted to buy that but I couldnt make up my mind and I asked them they gave me useless comments LOL Like the "piece of cloth" So I txt Lan LMAO He chose D =[
And I regretted buying that jacket cause I saw a better one >_>
I rather dont see than regretting. zzz.
Then Bala kept txting me tho Ive already quitted. This guy gives me the CREEPS.
Seriously man, my goosebumps stand. Hes like, ive been thinking of you "dear". OMG HE DONT HAVE TO ADD THAT IN.
And my sis kept disturbing me about him LOL shes like. "Bala misses Trish~" and go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ABOUT IT.
-
The guy at the guitar show~
Our eyes never left ^_^
-
I love you Lan LOL "You missed that again"

"Oh, I once saw many places, I promised the world and a dozen roses."

The only thing in my life thats been stable all this while. =)
Have never been so sure ^_^ All I need to do is to love you. And love you.
And love you..

Emily-From first to last

Smiles and Her laughter.
It's the only thing that I've been waiting for
A time,
Regardless of our distance,
And our Hope
'Cause we're Trapped by pretty eyes and letters for a time.
The only thing that I've been waiting for.

I hope it's something worth the waiting
'Cause it's the only time that I ever feel Real
Thunder Storms could never stop me.
'Cause there's no one in the world like Emily

She's Simple yet Confusing.
Her Sparkling Eyes make me
Weak at my words,
They tremble.
Days seem like years in this month of December.
The winter,
Coldens me for I have yet to Sleep.
And Never will I give up trying,
'Cause you're everything to me.

I hope it's something
Worth the Waiting.
It’s the only time that I ever Feel Real.
'Cause Thunder Storms could never stop me.
'Cause there's no one in the world like Emily.

There's no one in the world like Emily.

No money =[
I wonder if I could really make money with that or is he just lying again.
The blocks I called seems called before.
He even promised me, if I got nine leads by four months he give me an air tix to Hong Kong. Like wtf lmfao.

Buuuuuuuuuuu I wanna be with him ;[
I love my clown ^_^

Everything bad seems to happen at once.

Fuck those who I thought were friends.
It became my fault your soo inlove wit me.

Fuck Zhao man. He came back and took away everything from me. Prolly heard some fag saying im a bitch. Yo man w.e it is, if you wanna think that way fine. But I didnt talk to you all these months because of gods. And all this while you are the first one who always PMs me first. And I thought were friends so after that wipe I just asked you for gods and you just gave me. Like wtf now, your soooo obsess with me and once I didnt talk to you. You thought that your being used for gods. LIKE WTF MAN. Man stfu, I dont want your gods anymore.

I wish I wish I wish. I wish I was someone else. But I learnt from someone random that trying to be someone else your not is a hella waste of the person you are.

Mmm prolly gonna stay up again. XD
Reached home hes already asleep =[

About that stuffies. "EHHH"
The sky gives off another shade of blue.

Michelle, okay and Im sorry too. Im sure you would get all pissed if theres people who always trying to make you look bad and picking on you all the time.

And plus I didnt really wanna invovle her until you stated my sub-conscious fear.
So w.e it is, just let it be.

Time is only temporary.

Turd to even understand the sacarstism of each sentence.

Peace [ peess ]
Definition:
1. freedom from war: freedom from war, or the time when a war or conflict endsthe signing of the peace agreement
2. tranquillity: a calm and quiet state, free from disturbances or noise
3. mental calm: a state of mental calm and serenity, with no anxiety
4. harmony: freedom from conflict or disagreement among people or groups of people
5. peace treaty: a treaty agreeing to an end of hostilities between two warring parties
6. law and order: the absence of violence or other disturbances within a statePeace reigned throughout the land.
.. retarded dumbass.

Illusion? LMAOOOO OH YES IM HIGH ON DRUGS WHAT CHU GONNA DO. Jeez thats like finding the OBVIOUS.

OOO so why wont you go start doing "great" things now and stop BUTTING IN peoples shit.
Your whole shit load of paragraph that I didnt bother to read, I can simply say Insecure MENTALLY.

"If feeling happy is all abt having illusions that im even plain bothered abt u, haha! Den pls by all means go n think n be happy and imagine lah. A person without anything, needs imagination and cursing to be happy and to finally find peace with herself."
LMAOO A person without anything? How can you be so sure.Well its my turn to ask, HOW CAN YOU DEFINE A PERSON WITHOUT ANYTHING? Like when your 80? No family no friends, kids busy with their own family, your all alone with your shit load of money. "WOW IM HAPPY"

And now now now, doctor please give me a prescription for illusion =[
And too bad someone's too ashame.

ROOOOOFL LOOK AT THE MIRROR?!?! WHY DONT YOU LOOK IT YOURSELF! LMAOOOO THIS SHIT IS HILAAAAAAARIOUS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH AHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHHA JEEEEZ I CANT STOP LAUGHING. THAT BISH IS ASKING ME TO LOOK AT THE MIRROR HAHAHAHA LOOK AT THE MIRROR YOUR FACE. LMFAO.

And I dont give respect to those who I dont think they DESERVE TO have any respect for the least.

"Saying stuffs which u didnt even sae? Oh damn hell. Pls use the slightest common sense in u if u stil hav any, to think lah, u did sae! Wad makes mi so damn sure? Cos i believe in myself more den i ever believe in u haha!"
YUP and if thats what makes you happy. Common sense? I dont need any common sense for those who seems retarded.

So how did it felt being looked as a loser by "the loser"? At least I dont do anything for a dolla. *coughsbitchcoughs* Got busted in the end LMAO. DAMN STRAIGHT.

Oh please. God jeez. I told her CAN I RETURN HER ONLY 100$? And whats wrong with cutting price? DONT YOU DO IT ALLLLLLLLL THE TIME ROOOOOFL AND I MEANT ALLLL THE TIME. Calculate interest? SHE FRIGGIN told me herself that I can pay her when I got my pay. Now complaining bout it? Stfu. And I got it at the 1st of the month NOT 31th.

Seriously, people like her gotta jerk off or something. Go start some epileptic shit to keep yourself feeling good. And then seriously gone emo and the other second saying how she love herself. Go get your guidence from your bitch.
At least I stand on my own and gone thru shits.
My all time quote. People turn to god when they are helpess.

Oh noes! She hates me! OH NOES SHE HATES ME! OMGWTFZORBBQASFASFASDFZORS SHE HAAAATES ME! LMAO Weeeeeee? Like wtf I dont even care if she likes me or not. I dont even care if she ever consider me as a friend cause I know I dont. Back then, yes. Now NUH UH! I gotta say, she wont ever get peace in her heart if she continues like this. But in the other end, I feel happy cause I know someone out there is feeling insecure with me around. Thanks for looking high upon me. And o man wtf douche, stop saying stuffs I didnt say about you. That makes yourself looked gay. And stop trying to make me look bad before figuring out the fact, if not you can just try hard.
I always thought your a person with a full 100% self confidence now i see you as a loser. A friggin insecure emo crap. And o pls, stop being gay pls say it to my face if you got a problem with me or something.
I can simply say I dont care if you ever accept me. Your face.

C'mon dont leave me hanging

Waiting for life to pass me by

Pissed off by stupid gay shit around me.

First off woke up in the morning, called the effin resto to tell them im quitting. Then she started dissing me by saying that she will deduct my 150$ for uniform and my half month's OT cause i didnt give any notice. Yo fuck you, first off i aint a confirm staffs you cant just deduct my uniform money. Second off, I aint a confirm staff, a one day notice is enough.

Then went shopping with my sis and the whole iffy day, he didnt msg me until 8-9pm. O wow dont tell me you slept til 8pm. Or having too much fun forgetting about me. No point.

Reached home. Xh msged me asking if I got my pay already and I SAID, "Yup I tom meeting py you come along or something." Then py called me asking if I got my pay yet. Saying can you return xh the money? Oooo WTF?! If you want your money you could just ask it yourself and not try some lame methods to get your money back. So gay. Like I was to run away with your stuffs. And o god like I already told you I got my pay and ask you to come along or something tomorrow. And iono wtf shes doing trying to act hero. In the end heard wrongly or something. Stupid gay shit.

Went on, stupid gay connections kept dc'ing on me. Fuck.
And I only left with 100+$. Screw swensens.

Anyways, happee belated birthday Lan tho I even forgot. All the while I thought it was on Friday but it was Thursday. "Go enjoy and forget me" Jeez im really turning emo sitting here.

Maybe I should just go work. Sitting here makes me emo.
Lack of motivation to go on working =[

Im just a teenage girl without hopes and motivation x_x

I felt... deprive of.. life O_o
Fact is Im losing hope and motivation again.

Decisions to be made.

I called in sick for work today cause..... I got migrane, cough, flu. Excuses?! WEEE be chillen with my sisters later =D LOL
I be quitting that job by the end of this month i guess. Alphy msg me yesterday and want me back to work for him. Iono if I should.. I txt him and ask the details again. Cause it sucks if its on comission based. Iono when the hell would I get the money. Like the last time, tho I only went for two days I got 400$ but I took two months to get that money. But still... Iono.

P.S I love Lan.

And wtf some ass fag gave out my number to Bala. FFFFFUCK.

Sometimes I feel like quitting my job and start ROing full time again. Working takes up too much of my time. I cant even find time for myself.
But thinking of the end of the year keeps me moving again. I dont know if this distance thingy would work out but, im gonna keep trying even if it takes years. And I know that it will definately takes years. Cause Imma go back to school.... I think. >.>
W.e I hate to think much.

You see, I dont really look at babies and smile to myself like what most of them do. But this time I caught myself smiling when I saw this lil girl around the age of 3-6 with her daddy. I wasnt smiling because of how cute she was I was smiling cause her daddy and her are so cute together. Her daddy was soo sweet to his lil girl and so caring. They were so close. He really love his lil girl I could see it. I was so touched by just that customer. I caught myself thinking about him the whole day at work. Guys are charming when they are taking care of their kid =)

Eep havent posted for a long time, truth is I got myself back into the game. When I told Nurul bout this shes like, i swear im gonna bring a hammer to your house, dont skip working and say u wanna play games. Then shes like hey wanna eat after work? im like naw i wanna go home and play game LOL shes like dont give me stupid reason imma slap you.

Anyways, was listening to Rooftops-Lostprophets and I was standing at the stairway at the parapet wall looking at the sky before i went home. Cause it was so windy <3
And I havent be with myself for a long time.
Thought of Danny for a while.

Anyways gonna poop. Laters.
One week to payday o_o