Woke up 8am in the morning. Dang I felt I slept too much this few days. Greeted everyone a Happee CNY. At around 10am+, my mom DEMAND for a wishing and oranges. HAHA. I took the oranges greeted my dad, "Gong xi fa cai, shen di jian kang.. errrrrr............. duo duo jien." LOL I dunno the idioms for it so I said it my way. I took one more red packet from them anyway.

Luck of the year
Studies, good.
Work, good.
Love, good.
Health, bad.

Ooo whats that suppose to mean. Maybe like I said to YT, I got cancer. Teehee ;P'
I dont believe in it tho. It just registerd a kind of motivational force the moment its said. Makes me wanna put in more effort into my studies.

How I wish I can see my Dad in suit! He be irresisable LOL! Maybe when my sis is getting married. O thats long.
Or attending a funeral? People wears suit too. Mmm. Touch wood, da ji da li.

Title and registration - Death cab for cutie
Chaw.

Friday,16.02.2007
Yay happee! J meeting me. Woke up late. Reached CWP at 10.15am. Eat. Movie. Protege. Its scary how that lady died. Mmm for a movie of how drug ruin people, A requim for a dream is a better film. ;] Requim for a dream, strongly recommended for download! I have briefly short review about it on the earlier post.
J came my house after the movie. Haha funny stuffs.
J:My wrist is even skinnier than Trish's!
Erns:Then why heavy... Big bone? Nop. Big head..............BIG MOUTH!
Trish,Erns: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
J:Idiot........
Lazed around at the void deck till 7+.
"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall"

Saturday, 18.02.2007
Woke up last. Everyone is waiting for me. Showered.
Sat at the couch.
Dad walked out.
Trish: WOW First time I ever saw you wear a polo tee! SO HANDSOMEEEEEE!
Mommy: Ahaha! You just made his day.
*Looks at Dad* He WAS SMILING TO HIMSELF.
My dad is buff and secksi <3

The whooole day at JB today. 90% of the time, I was spacing out. Sat at the couch, listen to my mp3, stoned.

Went to Skudai parade. First impression, "Whhhaaaat man... we can actually smoke inside the mall?"
Second impression. I felt like we have just walked into, "The mall of CK department store, or 'seng shiong'"
"Can we just get out of here?"
My sis and I felt like the queeen LOL. Seriously, ALL EYES ON US! The guys were all checking us out. The girls, are all looking at my heel. HAHA. I even spotted one, pointing at my heel and said to her friend, "nee kann! hen mei!(Loook very niceee her heels)" I looked at her, she smiled at me with envious. Whhhaaatt man.
"I am god worship me."

Ahhh, a waste of time.
Didnt like my cousin.

Love seat - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Lates.

Keep yourself busy, then, you got no time for depression.
So so true.

Been doing random blog reading on some old friends... Where did you get your strength from?

Hold on little girl
Show me what he's doone to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on baby come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

Build up your confidence
So you can be on top for once
wake up who cares about
Little boys that talk too much
I seen it all go down
Your game of love was all rained out
So come on baby, come on over
Let me be the one to hold you

Am so happy. Today's a good day. First my granny, second YT's not mad anymore. Third, I found my errors in that 20 questions I got wrong. So its not my bad. ITS THE CALCULATOR'S FAULT NOT MINE! I GOT IT RIGHT HMHP.

November rain - Gun N Roses
Lates.
P.S Err wth, Nick is copying every nick i had on my msn. Same habit never dies.

I LOVE MY GRANNY MUCHOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS! <333333333~

You can make my life worthwhile, I can make you start to smile.

Pictures at the end of the post.

Song dedicated back to you and to the memories.

I wish everyone a Happee Valentine's Day.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY JUSTINa!
Im real glad to have met you. You brighten my life once again! ;D
Sigh, what a lonely valentine *Grumbles*

Went to change my passport photo today. Stupid friggin photo needs to have my hair to be tidy. Looking so geeky and PLUS the lights are sooo bright and my photos turns out to be soooo pale. I look like a dead person sitting. Plus plus, I dunno if I should smile or not HAHA. So I gave a uhh weird-looking non-smile smile.
Ahh I lost the spare photos or I would have scan it and given everyone a laugh at it.

And, I BOUGHT ANOTHER HEELS! <333 Heels. I feel like buying another one o_o But nah, dont wanna get a scolding. *dun dun dun*

I came across a funny quote.
Valentines day = Single awareness day. HAHA.

Im not used to the happy template still.

I think the Grammy awards 2007 telecast in Singapore had been cut? Or either, I missed the part. I read the site. OMGWTFBBQZORS DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE WAS THERE TOO! The killers and The fray. WHAT?! I didnt even see them perform or nominated for award.

Best Pop Duo or Group With Vocal

The Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps"
Death Cab for Cutie - "I Will Follow You Into the Dark"
The Fray - "Over My Head (Cable Car)" I DIDNT SEE THEM.
Keane - "Is It Any Wonder?"
The Pussycat Dolls - "Stickwitu"

Best Rock Duo or Group With Vocal

Coldplay - "Talk"
The Fray - "How to Save a Life" DIDNT SEE!
The Raconteurs - "Steady As She Goes"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Dani California"
U2 & Green Day - "The Saints Are Coming"

Best Hard Rock

Buckcherry - "Crazy Bitch"
Nine Inch Nails - "Every Day Is Exactly the Same"
System of a Down - "Lonely Day" AHHH THEY WERE THERE TOO?!?! DIDNT SEEE EITHER! EFFFF.
Tool - "Vicarious"
Wolfmother - "Woman"

Best Rock Song

Snow Patrol - "Chasing Cars"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Dani California"
Neil Young - "Lookin' for a Leader"
Bob Dylan - "Someday Baby"
The Killers - "When You Were Young" NOO DIDNT SEEE! I WANNA SEE THEM PERFORMING LIVE. *Cries*

Its either, I missed it or they cut it. Hmhp.
Cant believe Death Cab For Cutie is going mainstream. Its not even Indie anymore. Still love them tho.

My sis's BF delivered the cake! To the house! I ate more than half of it HAHA.



I would love it better if its whiter =P NEXT YEAR I WANT TULIPS!









ERRRRRRRR HAHA. Nothing just something random. Love her! So cuuute <33333

HAPPEE BIRTHDAY JUSTIN! <3~

Yayeeee! Flowers flowers flowers~

Monday morning hesitate,
cant get out of bed.
I'd rather go back to the dreams,
living in my head.

Tuesday evening packed my bags,
and headed out the door.
I left a box of memories,
lying on the floor.

Running from the city lights
Running from this empty life
I'm running out of time tonight
I'm screaming out for help
But no one heard me yelled.

Ah the long last change of template. Fucking years.
Mmm weird no one uses this template. Its nice ._.

Its either I sleep too much or sleep too little. Whaaaat man. I havent been studying this few days. Slacking, so tempting.
Iono... I dont understand why, he doubted my seriousness to the relationship.

Gigi D'agostino - I will fly with you 2007(Solex vs Jotty booty RMX)
Lates.
P.S Im loving the template.

I wish you were here to be my atmosphere.

Ah, so much thoughts in my head, couldnt get to sleep.
I guess this is the best time of her life. The glory the happiness the full satisfication, oh the joy! The happiest moment of her life.
The 5 years of endurance, hard works, persistance. Just for the moment. Just for this moment. It is all worth it.
YT, time to rejoice! I feel glad for you despite of the dispute we had.

This is something which i should be looking forward to. I dont wanna live my life aimlessly. I should be finding motivation within myself and not getting motivation from others. E.G "Pa, what do I get if I get good results?" Instead, I look forward to what I should improve each day. I will pull thru the days.
And no more emo shits from me.
Oh the life, emo days are over.

Imma start a timetable weekly. At least that helps me now.
Ahh this song makes me happy. -2005 memory.

Soul meets body - Death cab for cutie
Lates.
P.S REJOICE! "It is all worth it."

AHHHHHHHHHH SO HAPPY! Sher told me where to find BAND TEES! Been looking for band tees since years! WEEEEEEE!
Nyah gonna go find the shop tomorrow. Maybe I will like EVERYTHING from the shop. She says its like HOTTOPIC which is my fav shop =]
Today, went shopping the whole day, didnt see anything I like even the slightest. But shoes, i wanted the whole shop. LOL.

Congrats YT for her amazing results. Didnt dare to ask her so I asked PY. The results of her hard work and effort.
I hope I can be like her. Ahh long way for me.
Diet starts. All the pigging out, NONE!

Marc korn - summer of love [mysterio radio cut]
Ciao.
P.S J CHEATED ME MY-EEEEEE CHEESECAKE! Hmhp.

AHH am so happy. I spend two hours looking for that one trance FM. Its been my fav FM since few years ago. I USED to enjoy trance. Ha, my taste keep changing. Rock's still my all-time tho. I guess trance goes well with my studies.
I was checking all msn buddy, and peoples I knew from that FM. Checking if they or I did mention the FM name. x_x Finally found it!
Love spanish trance <3 Or was it france. W.e

Enigma - Gladiator Theme(Trance mix)
Lates.
P.S Its weird to type some trance music here in an emo blog. o.o

Maybe its meant to be forgetten.
Maybe one day i will find it accidentely, left forgetten in the corner.

AHH FUCCCCCKKKKK!
I lost the letter he gave me. The only thing he left for me. I LOST IT! FUCK MAN. I think my mom throw it away. THERE ARE PICTURES IN THERE TOO *CRIES*

My mom just said to me this three words, "敗家子! ; bai jia zi" a moment ago. I felt sad and deeply hurt by her words.

Out of 21 question, I got 1 right. How horrible is that. I still couldnt understand why, I even use the calculator, could it be the book's mistake? Couldnt be. No reason 20 questions wrong totally. What a waste of my time. Felt so demotivated to start doing maths questions again.

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know Ill be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
Its okay its okay its okay.

敗; bai; be defeated; lose; fail
家; jia; family
子; zi; son; child
敗家子; bai jia zi; prodigal; wastrel; spendthrift; idler

Get the point?

Your guardian angel - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Lates.

*Sigh* This is sad. Im just not good enough for you.

You know Ill never change
I wont be good enough for you.
I know, youll make it through,
Ill never be around to see.

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Cause in my head theres a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where theyre far more suited than here

I do believe its true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause youre the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

-2005 memories.

Wtf he thinking? Cant understand him man. Wth he treat me as.
Dang mang, gotta study.

Kung wala ka - Hale
Bai.

Why is it am I always the one who chose to stay?
Why is it Im always the one who trys to make things right?
Im always the one who reminise. They chose to forget.
Im always the one who says i miss you. They chose to ignore.
And the one who crawls in gore would always be me.
Can I choose not to care this time?
I stay stagnant.

Its a long wait,
for an answer.
Is there any news?
Is there any word?
Is there trauma?
Or a struggle.
Am I missing?
Was the body found?

Is there anything,
worth looking for,
worth loving for,
worth lying for?

Is there anything,
worth waiting for,
worth living for,
worth dying for?

Am I out of the fence yet? Nop.
When...?

LOL AHHH damn homie. Now im stuck and obsess with finding my names on googles. LOL IM SELF OBSESS!

Love the music from the commercial, True colours - Dove commercial.
<3 her voice.
Back to teevee.
Bai.

First thing first. I WOKE UP ACCORDINGLY WITHOUT ALARM! Suprising. I remember I had a dream. Its weird you know. I dream about Lan and he saying,....... humm nvm. With the song by Escape the Fate playing in the background. I end up waking up, humming the song.
Secondly, I FOUND YAYA'S BLOG NYAHAHAHA! Smarty ass. =D Actually, kuants found it. That damn stalker.

I realised I dwell too much of the past and leads to my negligence of the present.
Its irony when I read about people's past on their blog. The uninterrupted clicking of archives, makes me wonder how they spend this month. Why time flies for them but not for me? Its like a fast forward on their life. I wish I could click continuously on my life.

Its funny how people says, optimistic is a good attribute. Facts on how this optimistic-head ruins me.

The world at large - Modest mouse
Bai again.
P.S Im suppose to study. How did I evur end up here?
P.P.S I should start clicking on my life. Move forward girl.

Not good enough for cliche.

I will always remember the chill of November, the news of the fall, the sounds in the hall.

A need to treasure and cherish every single one without conflicts. I find it so hard to keep everyone happy. I am terribly sorry.
I dont want my past to recur. I find it a must to treasure him as well as the others.

I shouldnt let my mood affect someone else as well. Thats selfishly mean. As my mom says, she always trys to control whenever she talks to my granny. To whom it may be, I always try.

I want to make things better in my life. I want to.
Aight.. back to my studies.

Miligram smile - From autumn to ashes
Lates.

When a person's sense of personal identity is in question, anti-social behaviour or even alienation can result.

War and beauty ending theme lyric.

砒霜(合唱版)

林:万物中你我一息间错摸
种因结果然后万劫不复
黎:明明灭灭目光交错苦海点猛火
是你闪身路过竟勾引着我

林:为你牺牲已注定似身染绝症
黎:尝尽你的砒霜要我命
连累我眼睛挂念有声

林:轮回在生生死死感情才尽兴
可笑爱情为殉情
合:大半生沦落至此不过为证明
短促泡沫泡影

林:朝花晚拾仍然能尽兴
早已注定难安定
合:遗憾最终证实时间
汹涌能磨灭风景
但最舍不得的是这份情
若永不可超生亦也为情

林:问是否有个贪花可结果
爱少怨多黄梁梦惹的祸
黎:寻寻觅觅电光闪过空得到痛楚
万法心经念破甘于去犯错

林:用你砒霜救我命我不怕任性
黎:情愿至死心境至冷静
忘掉了眼睛我就看清

Read YT's blog. She talked about death.
Well. How would I die? How would I rather die?

This, I had said before somewhere in my blog.
I wanna lead a glorious life and die young. ;]
Die from the intoxication of alcohol.
Die happily without regrets.
Die leaving everything behind, knowing no one will weep and mourn for me, so I can go peacefully.
Die in a way, painful or painless, that everyone wouldnt forget.
But thats impossible.
I could die knowing i didnt had a great life.
I could die regretting on the things ive done or didnt try to attempt.
I could die thinking my life is a waste.
I could die without anyone by me.

Whats the aftermath?...

War and beauty theme - Lam bou yi
P.S Look after you.

I need the strength you used to gave me.
Wheres my drive?

Kung wala ka - Hale

Half awake from a dream, we know of this coldness
What is love, nothing but something filled with wailing wind and weeping rain
Bleeding, scarlet vision, although I have to make more turns around the bends
Waking up the next day, still feeling intoxicated.

As expected there can only be one ending, theres no joy in the least
Even though you shout and cry in pain, and being pulled away, its just right
Why is it that even till Im burning in this fierce fire, I still dont mind going through it with you?
Tell me, that when I wake up from this life, Ill be intoxicated again.
Asking Heaven, how many happy ones are there?

I tremble, are your lips warm or cold?
Sinking, sinking into the pillow side in the dark
I know its wrong, but i havent the strength to reverse the wrongs, let love decide this moment
Logic cant decide sadness or happiness, tears or smiles, being together and being apart.

Well, I feel helpess, and so, I pray for strength.
I need all the strength that I need.

I feel so demotivated in the house. Rather than encouraging parents, they demoralize me. Its not suprising as I disappoint them not only once.

When im 60, will I ask myself this same question,"My sisters' lifes great, what about mine?" ?

My life is a huge joke.

I actually wanted to say, thanks for believing in me. But no. Fucking no. Your just like every MF people who look down on me. Who didnt think I could do it. Yes I AM hopeless. Hate me. Thanks mom and dad. Thanks for beliving that im hopeless. You too. Yes im a loser. And yes too, you didnt know I was prone to Depression. Oh the facade of smiles. Going back to start my epileptic shit anytime in solitary. WOW its so easy live life like a normal person? DONT YOU EXPECT THIS MAN. I HATE EVERY FUCKING PIECE OF ME AND EVERY MINUTE ON EARTH. What? Will I even give a shit about this. I couldnt care less. Made it sound so nice. Thanks. You made everything sound so nice. Thought you were the one giving me support. No, you made me feel like crap. Like shit, useless piece of deformed human, living on this friggin facist shithole. Meaningless. Pointless. Being pushed around, for all I care. The clerk, the teacher. Fuck yall. My emotional bomb. Thanks. For triggering it. Fuck CNY too. And yes, i am hurt. Hurt me a great deal.

Im just tripping. Fuckit. Dont bitch at me. This is my blog. Dont like it? Click the fucking cross.

Forever and a day - Silverstein
Myownsuicidalescape.
Peace nigger.

Clicky here, look and READ.
No one will forget the evil seed.
Its dissatisfying. Of how crimelibrary dont update much. The last time I read, when I was 15, now im 18, still the same articles I see.

Still, my favourite article was the one on Kipland Kinkel. Its amazing how I still remember his name tho I had forgotten many parts of my life.
The voices in his head, his journal, the last note, the massacre.
Made me search on more info about him. I even found an audio clip of his trial.
I believe I had post many articles of him on my way past previous posts.
Kipland Kinkel's story.

The book ive been wanting since 15. NYAH. Saw it in the bookstore in Citylink I suppose.

I love reading on my favourite crying past.

"Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that their gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision!"
Still true.

"If im at my deathbed, will I regret on the things ive done, or the things I didnt do?"

-

Sometimes I wonder if im doing the right thing. As what Alphy said, Im fickle-minded. If I dont make up my mind, I wont settle down and get it done.
But what if ive gone thru life the way everyone wanted, will I be satisfied? Alphy told me, hes been here in this world for 33? years, he still dont know what hes doing.
Im a let-down. Hopeless seems to describe me better.
If I had a choice, if only, I would rather not to be brought to the world. Why mom? Why let me suffer here? Why let me do these life-long meaningless decisions of wrong choices. Ahh the life. Im enjoying every minute of my apocalypse.

Alesana - Apology
I'lllosemyselfinanguishfortonight.
P.S I need prozac.

Gees, just listened to the FM from Alphy's car, heard the song from hellogoodbye playing with the DJ saying,"the new song from hellogoodybye" I was uhhh i grown out of it few months back.

Im loving the 10 o clock show.

A sudden change of plan decided.
To my parent's heart of apprehension and disappointment, sorry.

The women, the negro, the knife.

The drunkard stupor.

Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy !!!

My home, Aldebaran. Love the music, feels so nice to listen to it again with the sounds of the river. And.... ;] Im HAPPY! For the first time.

Baiiiee
P.S Miss this word sweetie.

HAHAHA FUNNY SHIT AS HELL! I wish i was there to witness it. Imma laugh til tears drop.
"NO PORK AR ONE MORE TIME PORK I CALL THE POLICE!"

Ciao.
P.S Pause my song and listen to this shit.

WEEEEEEEEE! Guess what! The song that ive been waiting for is up for download. Sheesh I waited for like more than 6months for that song? Couldnt find anywhere to download that song back then. Its finally up for download now. ;]

And I will kiss you forever,
Lips of silence, my favourite endeavour.
Feel my arms wrapped around you,
Falling into the ocean of virtue.

Tenativa favorita - 16th avenue
Deuce.

Yay yay yay happy happy (:
Nothing you should know about. =x
Love the memories.

Damn regret - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Baiiee.
With smiles.

Been studying Biology today. Makes me wonder, why theres so little chapters. Only one more chapter, im done for Sec 4's bio. I flipped thru the Pure Biology textbook I bought when I was Sec3 back then out of curiousity and interest. Was like, DAMN theres so much things to learn in that book than in my Sec 4 elective Bio. I should do notes from the Pure bio text, to make sure I dont miss out anything I need to learn.

Social studies is whack. Ive been going thru the whole chapter and I felt that theres no important point to remember. Giving up? Not yet.

POA, still doing bad.

Chinese, dont even think about it. ;]

E-maths, still... trying to make sense.

Went out with J.A yesterday. It was fun. I always wonder why do we quarrel everytime. Different thinking I suppose. Charactor differences maybe? But always after spending time together, the liking grows.
We watched Apocalypto at CWP. Love the movie! Reminds me of my fantasy of living in the forest when I was 14. Har har. Play in the forest, drinks at the river, reproduce, look after kids. Ahh the life. Study's out.
Walked to Vista Point, had a drink. He watched soccer. Im there talking to myself. Ha ha jking nah.
Pretty late, walked to my block, sat at the chair at the void deck, facing the greeny grass and had cold wind blowing at our face. So nice, I love the coldness. On the other hand, J.A was shivering like a girl LOL. But yaa obviously with the name J.A. The funniest thing that happen yesterday, like how J.A was saying, "So romantic suddenly you said,"'my Daddy plays Red Alert'"." LOL He kept laughing whenever I said that. No idea why. Is it sooo funny? Whats so funny about my dad playing red alert?? ITS TRUE YO! Hmhp.
Started to rain, even colder. He said,"I have to pee." Reminds me, I have to pee too. Ran together in the rain, went to my house to pee. HE RAN SO FUNNY! Hes like, *Running and yelling 'so cold so cold'* Like some mad guy running around in the wild.
Will end here.

Every reason to - From autumn to ashes
Ciao.

Wee spent whole night chatting with, Attreya, pickles and kuants. LOL Havent feel this good chatting to people in game since RO. ;] Funny pointless talks.
Broke my record, combo x21. Jeez.

Must have run all day - Glassjaw
Baiee.

May 29 is... End Of The Middle Ages Day. Nice.
"The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat."
-
Im not trying to say that my usage of the English language is perfect, but at least I have the decency to leave it alone and not fill it with shit.

I get very annoyed with people who abbreviate every fucking word in their text messages, even words like "to" are abbreviated to the letter "t". Whats the fucking point? Youre only saving yourself one letter. In about twenty years time the kids at school wont be able to spell anything unless they can abbreviate it and their parents wont be able to help because they will have spent the last two decades abbreviating everything themselves. I have friends who send me messages that look more like fucking Morse-Code and it takes so long to figure out what they have said that my phones battery goes flat. My replies to these messages are never polite, in fact I dont have the decency to abbreviate the profanities. I like to tell them in plain old English to throttle themselves or violate each other with traffic cones.

Cries of the past - Underoath
New medicine - Dead poetic
Ciao.

Attreya! Audi buddy! <3~ Gonna go for a week =/ No more party buddy. *Crys*
Glad people still remembers me at bbgRO.
-
Its either give up or not. I wish i had the determination my mom had. I wish im as strong as my sis. Im so a weakling, NUO FU! I scold myself everyday, why cant i have that normal life. Why cant I see things differently? Why cant i stay constant in my thinkings? Hate me, pls.

I dont feel very receptive today - Underoath
Deuce.

Woo RO, its good to be back.

The original one of My heroine would be better than the Acoustic one. Mmm.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE WHY SO NICE
WHYYYYYYY SO NICEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!

I HATE YOU SONY! PIFFF! EFFIN AFFFFFFFFFFFF! I HATE SONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *CRYS*
SONY BITCH YOU BROKE MY HEART! I HATE YOU GO AWAY! GO AWAAAAAYYYY!

1. Underoath
2. Saosin
3. From first to last
4. From autumn to ashes
5. Armor for sleep
6. Escape the fate
7. Silverstein
8. Senses fail
9. The used
10. Avenged sevenfold

What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
The ransom or was it As Im falling down.

What is your favorite album of 2?
Self-titled EP

What is your favorite lyric that 5 has sung?
Hum lots.
"i will not say one word
ill just hang around
i wont annoy you at all
when you move out ill stay
until im thrown away
but then it wont matter"

"But thats not why Im here,
I came down here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long,
I wanna find you so bad and let you know
Im miserable up here without you"


How many times have you seen 4 live?
Never evur came to SG.

What is your favourite song by 7?
My heroine, smile in your sleep, giving up

What is a good memory you have considering the music of 10?
Mmm, have listen to them since I started RO. Two years ;]

Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad?
Prolly Emily, thats the only song that sounds sad.

What is your favourite lyric that 2 has sung?
"I saw the places he once promised the world and a dozen roses."
Definately any lyrics off them.


What is your favourite song by 9?
Noises and kisses, Let me bleed, The taste of ink. Grown out of The Used tho.

How did you get in to 3?
Dont remember... some rock media. Note to self was the first song i heard.

What was the first song you heard by 1?
Might be, Reinenting your exit or Its dangerous business walking out your front door.

What is your favourite song by 4?
No trivia, Miligram smile.


How many time have you seen 9 live?
Never ever came to SG. >.>

What is a good memory you have concerning 2?
Mmm. RO.

Is there a song of 8 that makes you sad?
Prolly The ground folds(acoustic) or Slow song.
The ground folds's intro is pretty good, but the moment he sings, it spoils it o.o just doesnt fit.

What is your favourite album of 5?
What to do when you are dead.

What is your favourite lyric that 3 has sung?
From first to last. Mmm, their lyrics doesnt stand out. Their song lack of emotions haa.

What is your favorite song by 1?
Everything ;] Dont ask me to choose thats unfair.

What is your favorite song of 10?
Uhh, Chapter four, unholy confession, seize the day, I wont see you tonight part1

How many times have you seen 8 live?
Never....

What is your favorite album of 1?
All. ;]

What is a great memory you have concerning 9?
"Blue and yellow"

What was the first song you heard by 8?
Lady in a blue dress.

Circa survive, veerry alternative.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well, Ill tell you my friend, one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

Who shot that arrow in your throat?
Who missed the crimson apple?
It hung heavy on the tree above your head

This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect
Give your immortality to me; Ill set you up against the stars

Gloria,
We lied, we cant go on
This is the time and this is the place to be alive

Who shot that arrow in your throat?
Who missed the crimson apple?
And there is discord in the garden tonight

The sea is wine red
This is the death of beauty
The doves have died
The lovers have lied

I cut the arrow from your neck
Stretched you beneath the tree
Among the roots and babys breath
I covered us with silver leaves

Love this song, so indie.

And he said he missed me.

I used to say, im watching people going on with their lives. So what am I gonna do with mine?

I cant even manage my life. I aint worth to have a life.

So when I scream this song baby, lets forget the world.
Block me out til eternity.

Was reading my blog, my favourite crying past. October-November.

"[ Maybe its love but its like you said "Love is like a role that we play"
But I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say.
-
And going back wont feel the same if we arent staying

Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?

Everything has changed

Do you remember that? ]"
-
"I know youll never change
I wont be good enough for you
I know youll make it through
Ill never be around to see"

I miss my long hair.


I miss my rockness.


I miss those emoness/gothicness. LOL.

His? Mine?



MINE!



Retake for the 999999999 times >.>

Ahh today many amazing scores.
Party party combo 13! 104 perfect, GEES. Total 337k!
Dance flower, 68 perfect, 245k.
Christmas party, 91 perfect.

At least music helpes me thru.
So when I scream this song baby, lets forget the world.
Block out til eternity.

Supper.
Met YT first and walked together to 515. YT's great idea. Picked up an iron from the streets and brought it to supper. Made me acted out some stupid stuffs with the iron. Best idea, green tea all over my hair and head. >_> Haha funny tho. Went home, shower. Went out again. Accompany him to 888 eat. But I didnt eat. Then sat his bike go "dou feng". Just reached home.

Feel so useless, oh so useless. I wish I had some GOOD genes from my parents. My sis had the hardworking, determination. Me lazy and useless. What?
Death is the easiest way out.


Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and youve had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep it strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

So a day when youve lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Right back what is wrong
We move along

Party combo 10. Record! AASDF. ;] I might have RedDeceitThe3rd. =)

I was suprised, Jinwei still calls me. And not at the right time again. He always calls at times when im in the middle of something. Disrupt my game. Lost. >_> Always made me irritated. I dislike him from the start. Its kinda obvious by my verbal abuse towards him at my earlier post.

This is how I felt.

Silhouettes above the cradle hold me down
They wont let me go the wrong way
My mother taught me all the fables, told me how
In the end all the sinners have to pay
But...

I dont wanna live like my mother
I dont wanna let fear rule my life
And I dont wanna live like my father
I dont wanna give up before i die

He worked so hard his bones are breaking
He wore them down but long ago he lost the feeling
His good intentions leave me shaking, show me how
I dont ever want to end up like he did

Hee hee. Went out with J.A today. So happy finally can see him. Busy man. ;[
So sad when he had to go. *She bu de* Loving him more as each day comes. Hes so nice hes so nice hes so nice ;]


Hands down - Dashboard confessional
Bai.

Yay! Alphy wanna buy me 610i! Must wait til my bday tho ;[ still long. Imma persuade him to gimme advance bday present. Muahaha. At the same time... imma persuade my Dad to buy. See who buy it first =D

So disappointing my Dad. Always dont keep his promise. Since many months ago, promised to buy my 610i until now. And he told me, go work part-time, buy yourself. If I have the time to, I will. Now that I have gone back school, do you think I still have the time to work? But yeh, I surely have the time to work if I dont do self-studys and revisions. Like, fine i go work and flung my exams. >_>

I wish i was born in some rich family. /...

TeeVee.
Lates.

Went lunch with YT today at 888. Then stroll towards Fragrant wood, wanted to get that bicycle tire but nah. Sat at bball court watch people play bball. Chatted with YT. Talked about Secondary life.

I miss my original sec school life. ;[ Everyday IF im in school, we would wait for recess to come, once the bell goes, we rush to meet other friends for recess. 9 of us, walked down from the toilet to the canteen together. Then last to go up after recess, always be us. Goes to class from the hall. YT and I always 'sent' them back to the express class first then slowly stroll back to our NA class. O the glory days. ;P Our fights with Molelee. And all the other nonsense.

Now? A weird lone ranger. School now passes so slowly so uneasily for me. I keep telling myself not to give up. But somehow I know I eventually will.

Ciao.

Freaking nightmare.
The whole nightmare isnt about chasing and running. Its about killing and torturing and ampulating. Everything, bloody gore. I remembered the part, that girl cut off their fingers alive. The finger flew out towards me. Blood rushing out, splatting everywhere.
I woke up. Headache never seems to ease. Couldnt get back to sleep because of the headache and the disturbing nightmare. I felt the heat in my head.

I think its better now.

The acoustic song - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Deuce.

In the afternoon, poa sucks.
At night, poa is pretty fun. ;P

My head is boiling. I think my brain can fry an egg. When I rolled my eyes up, my eyes hurt so much. >.>
Holiday tomorrow AGAIN? Heck yea.

The yearning, its getting stronger
Im dumb, i hope you like me too
Youre two tables away, you could see me mezmerised
I want to talk to you but im so scared
Before i never cared, infatuation's never there
But now its killing me

I wonder whats the both of them are doing now.

The price of Cds and vcds/dvds are decreasing. People dont even buy Cds now.
Even Fms, I dont listen to them.

Bury your head - Saosin
Kthxbai.
P.S I want to lead a colourful life and die young.

"I think im sick."
"Your sick everyday la."

Then I hope I fall sick and die. Cause thats normal to you. And thats whats been happening everyday. Stupid fuck.

Now Im in your basement
Im laying low to keep out of your way
I hear your footsteps
Move the floorboards above my head
I have my own routine now
Im keeping busy in my own way
Im learning ways to not feel
Like Im down here forever

I hear your footsteps
Move the floorboards above my head
I hope you know that Im down here
Just for you

I sang a song to you through the floor
To reach you upstairs
I thought I heard you call out for more
I know thats crazy
Im pretty sure that Im lost again
It wont get through to you
I wont get through
I think I wont get through

Im gonna close my mouth now
You dont need more noise in your life
I miss you more than you know
But I know time makes you move on


The lights are off
And Im lost again

I believe this song is better. Not from Sony. ;]
-
The best way to ruin your life.

Schools worst today. Had flu for the whoole day. Couldnt concentration in class. Felt so sleepy too. And the air-con so effin cold. I didnt bring a jacket. Made my flu worst. I kept sneezing without stop. I HATE flu. I rather have coughs.

Met YT, LY, PY and Pearlyne for lunch today. Pearlyne went to reborn her hair. Flat flat tho. Then they went to the cinema and I went home. Annoying flu ruining my day. On bus 912, saw Hashima. Shes like, eh? You in Si Ling Sec now? Then blah blah blah blah blah, talk talk talk. Came down the bus, saw Wei Jun, hes like, EH? Finally go back study?
Wtf? Everyone had the same question.

Headache, flu. Tomorrow, holiday. ;]

All I taste today is whats her name - From autumn to ashes
Deuce.

Cant believe no one recognise this music on my blog. Dont you guys find it familiar?
Its the freaking song thats been playing on Sony walkman commercial.

Helped my sis change a new skin. I actually find it nicer than mines. The picture on her blog is one of the graphic i found. Hee hee, gave her a suprise with the Sony logo on my name ;]

Went out with my sis today. She bought me a wallet! Yay so happpy.
my sis.

Ciao.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Sony walkman commercial is not in the Viewers choice. STILL GONNA VOTE THO! VC18 VOTE FOR SONY!
I sony.

My mom threw away my fav blanket. =[ I used it since when my grand-grand mom died! It had my smell on it ;P

Went out with J.A today. Funny day. Yesterday, we were still fighting. In the morning, im still a little mad. But im glad today we ARE happy.
"Penguin"! Hmph. Normally, when a girl falls down, the guy WILL either be concern or try to ACT concern. But no! He stood there laughing. LOL. But thats what I like about you ;P

Martell cancelled.

Reject yourself - Killswitch Engage
Deuce.
Much s.
P.S You know what that means. ;]
P.P.S I mean, you know what means. ;P

I attraction.

I the rain.
I my long commute.
I the company.
I it loud.
I shopping.
I to unwind.
I being a substitute.
I working late.
I losing myself.
I missing the last bus home.

Im officially IN LOVE with alll Sony walkman phone commericial.
Love the music they played, love the way they present the commercial.
It IS registered in my mind. Everytime the commercial is on, I ZOOM from my computer to the TeeVee! Just <3 the Sony commercial ;]
I love missing the last bus.
I love walking home alone.
Something I remembered from the early commercial from Sony if im not wrong.
The things they said is so so true. I <3 walking home alone at the cold, empty night.

Yay for Martell tomorrow! ;]

Face down - The red jumpsuit apparatus
Inlovewiththeredjumpsuitapparatus;]
Lates.

So grab this statement
And read between the lines
Im walking on an edge
Thats how I stay alive
I need a fix now
The pills I have to take
It helps me live a lie
and blinds all my mistakes

Before I die
I will have seen it all
The mountains I have climbed
Help me enjoy the fall

Oh the webs you weave
We are caught in the fame
The passions dead
The life you've lead
Has drown in your shame

Oh the webs I weave
I am caught in this game
My passions dead
The life I've lead
Has drowned me in vain

So paint my portrait
The colours of my life
And the untold stories are painted in black and white
I can hear the footsteps
That follow to my pulse
This paranoia has haunted me like a ghost


Its only the second week of school and I couldnt stand it anymore. Mmm I cant adapt to the changes. I used to have so much freedom.
Mmm waste of time. >_>

Hero heroine - Boys like girls
Iwonttrytopilosophise
Ciao.

Walk past my grave in the dark tonight
Saw the stone and the note you left for me
to answer your question i just had to leave
I just had to leave

But thats not why im here
I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long
I want to find you so bad, to let you know im miserable up here without you

Found my way back in the dark tonight
Couldn't wake up, not right next to you
I traded forever to just hear you say the sound of my name

But thats not why im here
I came out here to tell you it rains in heaven all day long
I want to find you so bad, to let you know im miserable up here without you

Dont believe that its better when you leave everything behind
Dont believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Happy us!






Me trying to act retarded ;P



Acting dumb again.



YingTing's PIG LEG! "Zhu jiao"



Final group pic.



Lastly, thanks for the dinner! Love you ALL.

Havent been able to post my thoughts, feelings, day out these few days. Not because of time, its just because, i dont actually know why I hasnt been able to open up to my blog properly nowadays. Anyways, ciao, leave a tag ;]

Memory - Sugarcult
Sogetbackbackbacktowherewelasted
JustlikeIimagineIcouldneverfeelthisway.
Lates.

Happy birthday YT!
Happy birthday Pearlyne!

Celebrated YT bday at Sembawang yesterday. Met up at the shuttle bus point.
And was imitating LY's action, she got mad and kicked me LOL HER SLIPPER SNAP HAHAHA! She gotta drag her feet around the place, YT and I was imitating the way she walks. She went to buy a shoe. Went up to some thai resto. After dinner, we were so creating a scene there. YT was throwing cake everywhere. LUCKILY, everyone stinks except me (:
Sat 962 to fragrant, chat chat.
XY's bf came to fetch her. Went to LY house. Regretted! We decided to go home.
Poor me, waited waited waited. 912 still didnt come. Realised that theres no bus anymore. Took cab home.

I hate the look of disappointment on my parents face. I can almost picture it in my mind everyday.
Once I made a mistakes, it never stops.
My big mistake, sec 4 2004.
Til now. Am I right to go back to school?
I cant help feeling so useless.

Franklin - Paramore
Doyourememberthetimewhenweweresoalive?
Iwontgetusedtobeinggone.
Bai.

Schools tomorrow. =/

Kill
Break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you
Your killing me, killing me

Mm wtf. A guy called and asked me "Are you horny?" I was like wtf. Who gave you my number? Fuck off man and stop calling.
I wonder who hates me so much.

Its just the fourth day of school. Why I felt its like the thousand days of school.

Went out with Justina today. MADE ME WAITED FOR AN HOUR! So angry. Walked walked walked alone, so bored, went to smoke, walked to the escalator on top of Citylink. Waited for him there. Hmhp! Before that, Danny called. He said he was at Admiralty. I was like AWW im at Marina! Got time meet up again ya! Then Justina finally came! HMHP! Then yayyy bought a top for me from Topshop. So happeee.

Before that, i was trying on which colour i wanted. BUT THEN HE NEVER STAND THERE SEE FOR ME! Then walked walked walked, went back choose again. I told him to stand there dont move. Haha. Then i chose an orange colour one. Mmm purple is nice too =[

Then we went to Vista to have supper with my friends. Blah blah blah, went to bball court, YT and LY play bball. We sit there talk talk. Then sit at fitness corner talk talk. After that ahem, went home.

Somehow, I regretted going back to school. I know I shouldnt. x_x Can I just ignore and forget the world? I am too lazy to face all this problems. >_>

Sing it loud to drown out the feeling.

A decade under the influence - Taking back sunday
Dontletitgotoyourhead.
Deuce.

Click to enlarge.



Hair after shower =[



(:

Weeeeeeeee new hair do! Short short, cut off my long hairness (:
Will put up picxys later ;P

Met YT at 4.30pm. Went to AMK, cut my hair. I was filled with unsureness tho. Afraid it would turn out bad. But! Its good. At least I think so.

Dragged around till 9+ then LY and PY. For like 30mins after, we went home. Quite boring but satisfying ;P

The diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin
Lalala.
Lates.

Read the 'Today' paper today.
"Why should non-smokers sit in our smoking zone when WE the smokers cant sit in their non-smoking zone?"
So so true.

Mmm The Taste of Ink brings memories.

(: I still miss you.

No trivia - From autumn to ashes
Savoureverymomentofthis.
Aslongasyouralive,hereiam.
Ciao.

eykausdgz'X

Im already so stressed up in school, friggin Mom KEEEP adding more anger and stress. Seriously I KNOW what to do.

I hate my form teacher. That indian woman. I find all indian WOMEN are sooo discriminative. Somehow i feel that shes trying to make me feel sooo left out in class. Like SI-REEEE-YERS-LEEEEE! She EVERYTIME short of one paper, table, form, card, calander, time table, or whatever stuffs thats needed to be given out. Save it girl. Im not gonna be intimidated by you.

Shooot, POA i missed 14 chapters. How to catch up?!?!

Theres only 5 chinese in the class out of 32. o_o But its okay, I look like Malay anyway, IF I get darker.

Im gonna cut my hair =D yippee. Thats what I decided. Prolly go cut it later.

No friends, still. I SHOULD OPEN UP SERIOUSLY. For some reason I cant.

Last time - Typecast
Lates.
P.S School still sucks.

Just woke up. Interesting night yesterday.

Monday, Jan 01.

Played audition in the afternoon, then asked YT wanna go out? Unexpectedly, everyone are going. Today considered as an unlucky-lucky day. Was waiting for LY to come, took out a ciggarette, smoked, finished, threw it on the floor. And AS I turned around, two person walked towards me, they show me their dunno what pass. And prepared to fine me 200$ LOL I was like wth? Then after that he said, "Wheres the cigarette butt? Pick up and throw away." I was like, "But you fined me, I still throw away for what?" Then he said, " No no, im giving you a chance." HENG AR! Wtf man. 200$ I could buy lots of stuffs man.

Finally LY came, went to The cathay, buy Death note2 tickets. Decided so long, what to eat for lunch. "PEPPER LUNCH!" "Anything." "Anything." "Food court." FINE food court (: Went to play pool after lunch. Saw some cute guy ;P Watched movie after that.

Death note 2 was nice but the ending........... TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTOR DIE. So... like so... sad. Like no meaning. But w.e decided to go home after that. At the MRT, LY, YT and me decided to go supper. OK!

After supper, LY went home. Me and YT roam around the streets. Laid down on the basketball court to look at stars. No stars, but really, its only clouds and moon. Decided to drink, went to buy some alcohol. Found a playground to chill at. YT had a call of nature. Went to Vista to pee. Walked back to the playground. People taken our place. Went to another playground.

SO NOISY! This one Indian family was laughing, shouting, talking so LOUDLY. Then YT gave a stupid idea. "Wanna call the police?" LOL was like okok!
*Dialed 999* "Hello? I wanna make a complaint of a resident in blk 585. Im trying to get some sleep! Blah blah blah blah blah.."
Heard the police came, AFTER THE POLICE CAME, THERE WERE NO NOISE SUDDENLY! HAHA.
We were like, giggling over there.

My turn for call of nature. Friggin YT keeeep disturbing me. Finally reached her house, pee, walked home.

And, so nice of YT, treat me movie and supper. ;P

This is war - Smile empty soul
Ifyoulovepeanutyou'llloveskippy.
Bai.
P.S I hate peanuts.