Nothing much happened today...

Were spose to go for a job interview but were late ;O So we went shopping xPP
O well just gotta go for that interview tomorra. Its the last day of it so DONT BE LATE AGAIN. !
And... I havent sleep ;O SHEESH I KNOW I HAVE TO SLEEP SOON OR ELSE I WILL BE LATE ;O
But I wanna wait for Meth tho ><;;

And Rig got Nico's stuffs ;O!! And zephyrx is gonna come back. But he dont need to snob me so much.
I wouldnt care. I really wouldnt care. I was gonna quit anyway. I just wanna work and stuff. And enjoy you know.
Do what I should do. Do what humans should. Do what girls do.

I knooww that game its like my life. My everyday thing. My memories. My friends. My precious friends.
But gah. I lag so much and Iunno if anyone is gonna hook me up. So bleh. Imma just work and get some money.

Iunno if my mum is gonna gimme moneh for those fees. I hope yar she will. But likely.... iono ><;

Seriously, Iono what do I really want now. But I know something that I want. Is to hangout with Meth *Wink wink*
O well I will worry about stuffs like this later on. ;People sucks.

I dont like how the Destiny and Serenity peoples are saying Holy = Nubs. Dude I lvled my H.aco without changing it into a H.priest until Im max and when the rates isnt 1000x YET. And the rates is like 500x which is so near to Seren. So did you ever do that? Fucking newbs dont know a thing. And yo man dont generalise us. I so wanna see how the serenity community is gonna be so take over by us 'the nubs' ;] Just you wait mofos.

*Prays for no more laggyness for meh*

Holy and Trinity will be deleted.
Im just worried about my stuffs. ZephyrX havent even replyed me yet. I bet he just find me irritating :O But he already quitted like for so long. Whats the use if he keeps all those donations thingy to himself for?

Another thing is that my com lags like hell. And I cant even lvl sometimes cant even move. How can I continue playing?? T____T!! I will be so missing from all the fun. Everyone is gonne be so together like finally and I aint. X_x This is sad. Gah Iunno what else can I do. X___________x

Will I be in the new memories or will I ever be a part of it? Will I cease to exist ever again?

I'll put my hope forward ^____^

*Take a deeeep breathe*
*Breath out heavily*

ZOMG!! MY FEEET HURRRTTSSS LIKE A MUDAFUKA X_x Been shopping for two days straight with that high heels and its like I havent been out for like a few months and I suddenly wear that heels. It suuuure hurts.

They can hear me complaining for the whole day without stopping. Zomg X_x... Anyways Im happee ^.~

Anyways yea.. David is kinda sad that I snob him 24/7 Well I didnt mean to but I dont know why or how hes gotten irritating to me. Prolly the once in a month thingy ;O But yea X_x Hes hurt. But gah w/e.

And yar im happy about something. When im back, everyone is out there for me :] I know I havent been contacting you guys for a hella long time. Im sorry and I swear I will get back to you guys' life on the track ;D

Alllllll I need now is a job to help me stay away from the com xP Cause without moneh I wont go out. I wont go out equals to stay in front of the com 24/7. So yar gimme a job pweasssee X_x

And o I dont think my mum will be supposting my schooling fees. What a fag. Dont you want me to study?! ?!!
?!! You biotch :O Riiight w/e. I will try to think of ways then O_o.. Or not... Gah. I dont care. Imma take a step at a time ><;;

Meh im bored. Angie's asleep and I got no one to talk to T_T. How sad... Wakkeee uppp Angiiee wakeee uppppp :]
Hun read my msg *Wink wink*

LMAO I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MYSELF FOR ONE WHOLE HR :O Im that sad LMAO Naaaahh I aint. Im just too bored :O I aint emo dude. -_-!!

Aiiiiight. Gonna shower despite my hurting feeet X_x Lates peeps.

...

Disappointing..
Fine act like I dont care at all. Ask Rig. Were all worried for ya. Now you got scammed. I didnt breathe a word to you cause I dont wanna be like spoiling your relationship with her. And hell.. Snydes : 'IF YOU CARED YOU WOULD TOLD ME SOMETHING!'
YOU DIDNT KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS. Ask Rig. I told him everything man. Stfu you dont know how disappointed I was. You acted like I dont even care like I dont treat you as a friend. Stfu.

I got my pay. >>;;

Meep ._.

*Yawns* Still feeling grouchy x_X

Still thinking about yesterday ><;;
Iunno what happen that I totally snob David, Haku and Meth. >_> Gah. Prolly just because of what Bruno says.

*Gasps* Ron just pmed me... ... ... o.o ... =o

Bah. Watched Date movie with Xy and her friends. Was seriously hilarious lmfao. Was like fack I couldnt stop laughing.

Alphy sold the house. He said my commission is not gonna be less than 500$. Couldnt be better = ]

Just watched final destination 3 too. O_O wtf man wtf. Its soooo gross. Buttaa I wubb it grrosss. xPP

Gonna go to a job agency with Xy on tuesday. And Alphy made a bet that I couldnt save up to 3k in 6months. Psh. How mean. >>;;

And I'll prolly take up a course in July. Yea and claro, all my friends were like = O *GASPS* *Pinch* wow... I aint dreaming. Rofl those fags really amuse meh. I WUB JOO FUCKTARDS = ]

Hmm.

Sooooo... What should I do next? O_o.. No idea?

*Thinks*

*Sings*
Im sorry for the person I became
Im sorry that I took so long for me to change

Ops =X

Dang it. Someone gimme a fucken job pweeasee. -_-!!

I still remember the first time I seen juu. You were talking to Steve. Then you were like oh hi. I always think your a funny, cool and 'wow' kind of guy. :) Months pass and were calling each other Jie jie and Di di <3 You were younger than me by a year. And I always tease you for being skinnee after seeing juu =) Your the only one that I really talk to for all these months.

I never knew how much I meant to you until that day that I decided to move on. Yea you cried. My heart hurts so bad and im so touch at the same time. I dont know how we gotten so close. And I never knew how much I love you until that day.

And I knew you never let me leave alone. You know Di di, Jie jie really loves you so much. I want this to last. And I so want to hug you. I seriously do. I hope you feel the same way I do.

Jie jie wants you to know that, where ever I go, your always in my mind. What ever I do I will always think of Di di and his jokes <3

You left this feeling here inside me.

Its a beautiful day.
Now I'll be ok now that your not away.
Yesterday was a terrible day.
Now that your here im ok.

Cause youuu dont knoow
How much I
I need you pleaseee dont gooo.

Your so wonderful
This I swear
This I know.

You oh you
Every single thing you do
Im so proud of you
What you do
When you do the things you do
Thats so you.

Thank youuu for being there for me. Even tho this few days had been so bad for me.
Thank yuu thank yuu thank yuuuu. Im feeling so much better now when your here <3

DAVID, I WILL ALWAYS BE WITTHH YUUUU <333

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel what it's like to be new 'Cause in my head there's a Greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far-off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited then here

And I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you than I hope it takes me too
So Brown Eyes I'll hold you near 'cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

eh Its been only two days quitting and I miss k3ro already. I gave my account to Bruno. And when the next day I logon. =O All my gods are gone. And he seems dont wanna talk to me at all. I prolly trust the wrong guy >.> Fine w/e. I just pray for the next wipe then =/

David is having tution now ;( And wow his home is bigggg and niceee. I wanna gooooo ;_; And now Iono what to do with my life either.. o.o Meep ._.

This is so screwed up. Meh. I prolly go emo >_> jokes...

Gah. Just havta take a step at a time I guess =

My Sinx. 250

My Creator. 220

My Priest. 250

My Gypsy. 220

My Pally. 250

>_>....

I seriously honestly hate RMs.
Wtf we used to pwnt their arse back then.
Now moved to Trinity or even quitted.
Fuck now im left alone in fucken Holy.
Well not alone but they barely comes on.
Fucken teaming up on me.
Cause they cant pwnt arse without teaming.
Ha ha 5424135124 vs 1.
What do you call that?
>.> random numbers...
Well got nufing to say neways w/e.
Im moving to Trinity.
Fucken pinoys can snatch Holy do w/e they one.
Well hope you guys rot there.

Quote of the day : I officialy annouced Holy is now a pinoy server.

Just had a looong good chat with David =3 I guess thats how people are... I never know how Hsu is before the wipe. I guess this wipe really change many things but one good thing it shows how really people are.. In the end it all dont matters to me.. Cause i know your that ungrateful. U can as well throw our memories away. I bet you dont even remember who was with you when u lost faith. Lost faith and motivation. I really thought how good how strong our friendship were. But in the end I lost it so easily. Even tho you dont realise it. Its already slipping away from you. I wants to tell u that dont regret it when im gone.. It will then shows u whos helping u all the while.

Bleh It wouldnt matters no more. Im just gonna stay useless for bit until I get my new laptop. Just sits around and chat. Or go global. =\ thX David.. Your like the only person I really talk to.. And the Nicole will be getting a piece of me when im back ;S Your feeling me ? =3 You betta..

Errr.... Ya I havent been here in a while... Umm err so what had happened. Lemme think..

Ya Previously... I had a buddy who made a girl char but shes a guy.. And uhh he created a guild named sinful angels. I was soo fucken loyal to him. Cause hes ma best best buddy. <33 I made the guild known to everyone. And uhh ya the one piece *Shakes head* Fucken cheaters... Lazy to type out the whole story. But ya the whole flame war was started by meeehh !! Bwahahhah Was all mee. Yea so now everyone is hating them, pwning them whenever they could in pvp.

http://d2190.servadmin.com/invision/index.php?showtopic=6953&hl=
Check tha flame war... ;D

Ya and shiroi which was the sub gm there was my friend and he join our guild.. So uhh he kinda abuse his power a lil and helped us during woe. And things got big the renaisance create a fuss at the forums.. So we disband the guild. I encourage hsu all the way. And we create another guild. Which was Sadistic Desire. Which pwnt one piece again.

And yea finally the wipe comes. We kept switching servers and couldnt just decide where to go. And i wanted to stay in Holy. I told zephyr to put his credits there. But in the end Hsu was somehow mad at me. Then i had to go back to Trinity. And left Zephyr alone there T_T And I was laggging so bad after this wipe. So uh I started working to get a new laptop. :S Im gonna donate i think too. But im not sho tho. Cause the server sucks really bad after this wipe. They nurfed so much stuff which i didnt like. Im hating it actually. Sinx dont pwnt so much nemore. :
Hmmm.. Caught up with the rest of my friends and yea... Im trying to get back my life.. Xy did contact me but not as much as before, of cos... So yea.. Fill in pretty much so uh im out.. Lata ;P

Sinful roxxors!! I wub ma guild <3 them =".="!" request ="P">:3 And today we pwnt them porings asses! Sinful totally roxxors. This is the first time i've seen sinful soo alive. And im so proud of them I wub you guys <3 And zeph's back then I have to return his gods soon. TT Cant be strong nemore.. Booo Oh wells just find a way to donate =P

Woooter zoozors! Broke up wit nike! Yahoo! Because of hish gheyness EW. Fancy finding spys to spy on meh. Gheyishness. what a fggt. Were koo now. =) And alex!!! <3 =D muhahah im a ladee pimp! Love me if yoo dare. Rofl! Z0mg! Rawr! Im feeling lucky today! Muahah! I got gtb with a trade of an alice pet! wtf! Zuahah! And a free blush and +8 Buckler! A 100m zennies! A advance +10 items! muhahah!! Z0mg! hahhahah. *grins* thats all i can do hahhaha! and and i made a bandage without worries. HAH! Lucky meh! But item wipe's gonna be here sooon =( And more to come! hahahha

I think he's trying to get this msg to me. 'So if you still go i'll understand. And If you'll stay i'll hold your hand. Well If your gone im all alone, so im hoping that you will come back home. Dont care how long but im willing to wait.' T.T You know I have to leave in the end. Im sorry I hate to but I have to.

My eyes wet the whole day today. Gawd. I didnt know that would happen. Ron finally did appear. Before he appear a guy already took my heart from u. But I still love u tho. U know that. But Nike gave me peace and sweetness whenever im with him. Im really happy with him. And I feel sad for him. I dunno y. Yes nike I love ur song ^-^ After Ron , u appear i started to get confuse. No Nike its not your fault. I cant bare to leave either of you. After you appear I know I gotta choose. Nike u made me cried the whole day. Because when im with Ron I know your alone at your fav spot. Thats the spot you took my heart. <3>.> And wtf Madison square =.= Nike I dont like ur bullshit too. I just hope to keep the feeling. Today i felt the worst pain of Kaz3ro ever. >=( Is to leave your loved ones.

Dont criticise what you do not know and did not experience before. Nigga dont trip at my page. Dont think RO dating is lame stupid and childish. Its not, its the best feeling you can ever get. <3 People are serious there too. You play online games with a community with all addicted ones before? I dont think so. They treat it as their life their world. Everything that happens to them in the game, they mind. Its not like w/e. We dont. We respect. We are serious with everything here. Its crying and laughing at the same time =3 Memories kept <3 <3 <3 So damn yo stfu get outta my page.

Aww damn keith went to indonesia back in 2 months T.T Hmm where's my auger? O_O nvm I never really wanted from him anyways =D Today I was reminising those times. The good old days of us. And from how I got up there. It really made me cry. Kaz3ro had made it possible for me to have all the sweetest and the best memories ever. Even tho there are sad and unhappy times. But thank you all! I really love you guys! <3 And yea fuck the reality im staying in holy ^-^

Um... Me and Ron had married in Serenity. xD And we were havinf fun after the marriage. Lmao /gg. But bleh.
Holy is not up yet. Im getting bored in Serenity. xD

ZOMG! I didnt blog for soooo long. Lots of thing happen since. More donators appeared in pvp owning me. -.- I hate it. Well.. im gonna donate as soon as I found my job. Cheque or cash? Hmm.. Posting my question in the forum. I WANT A PHOTSHOP software. I wanna make my signature for the forum. >.<>=( But now everything is so fine. :D Hah and now I know why aesir is so strong now. He fucking scam chidori. __ Fack! Zomg and after the upgrade = cap1500. wtf?! No lags I hope. Nico and Private tame a doppel for a pet! >.> I want that! Someone even offer 3crds for her pet. Nico gave me and ron an alice for a pet. :D And everyone was like how to tame an alice>.> HOCUS POCUS! -.- AND I FINALLY GOT A CHII!!! Yea I finally make it for myself. And today i was at serenity. And I had no friends there cause I dont play there often. Since holy is closed I was hoping I could see my friends there. Then the first person I saw was sid. I see the nick Gondes. Ok its confirm him I shouted sid! xD He was like how do you know. I said Duh Gondes is your second nick -.- Then another person appeared. ITACHI! xDD Guess whats his nick?!?! His nick----> SOMEONE STOLE MY NAME<----- -.- -.- -.- -_-''''' swtttttttttttttt He was full of craps. Then BOSS appeared! He was sitting in alde. And I saw him reforming out guild. xDD I was like hey steve its ahem. Then he invited all members from holy that was playing in serenity for the time being XDD JONSHE WAS THERE TOO!! I appreciated him =D And I will not ever forget him and will helped him whenever he needs help =D Tough time lvling in serenity. Exp was whack there. Sucks like hell. I was on a maaajor anolians and turtle killing! Zomg and the lvl was still like.... And I NEVER done a 100 breaker on noob in my whooole life. I done one this time. Damn. Rofl. And those two punk one was lvl1 the other was lvl14 when to pvp! -.- I was like o...k If u want. Then i tag along when i went in alllll were dead. LMAO -.- I come out saying that was kinda lame. -.- Rofl! That was fucking funny! So now i will be doing some crazy lvling to help at least a little for steve. He said he wanted an alde castle. For lvling I guess. I hope many people will be on for woe. And yingting is staying at my hse. She will be going home tommora. End here now. Byees lates.

Nth's sup today. Except learnt a new language. Tagalog. Lol. YourDesire teached me. :D Salamat desire xD. Yea chatted for the whole day. Improve my breaker a lil. Or deprove? Not sho. Experimenting my breaker alot. Yea... and it needed loads of money. Dont know how to earn them faster. Viruz!! Stop killing me. Wakoko! Lmao. Looking for wild ghost now. But too lazy for that. Lol.

Server History ]] Kaz3ro

Starting out with as a small guild in aeRO, the players slowly got to know each other, helping each other out, and fighting for territories for the WoE. "Kamikaz3", as it was known, grew into a large community. After the change of ownership of aeRO, people started leaving. Due to the decline in players because of the new ownership, the leaders of Kaz3RO started discuss it with the other guild members about future arrangements. From there, the decision was a new server, "Kaz3RO". Made by a small population, this has contributed significantly on the making the server possible. Kaz3RO is made to be fun, exhilarating and eventful for everyone. All members in the Kaz3RO Staff are helpful and friendly, and try to help in any way possible. From a small guild, to a new server with a team that is willing to help, we welcome you to join Kaz3RO, "where dreams await". [Help support us, click on the links below to help vote for Kaz3RO]

U know what? I guess I dont care about the real world anymore. I dont any thing from the real world anymore. I just need to indulge in the world of kaz3ro and I'll forget every misery in reality. I dont wish to live in reality. I wish that Kaz3ro was real. I could be in there.
met some wonderful ppl there. Heh. Wish to play ro my whole life.

=((( I know he wont call... Lets hope for next fri... Haiz... Those words he use to say to me, are those the truth? ...

Today I realised how much I missed my laopo. Its only been three or two days didnt see her because she have to work. I missed her already. O damn. I have to look for a job man. This is getting much worse. Then that alvin keep camping at ma hse. Think what my hse is a hotel ar want come jiu come. My hse not like Darren hse wor. Haiz. I wonder tml yuren will call me not. I missed him so much i doubt he did not know. I didnt even want to reply my msg. One reply is so important for me. Haiz. Then now my laopo everyday go happy le. Then I at home alone and bored. Envious of her..

Haiz.. Dont think we can go to hp ever again... Our reputation had been even worse than before. It had already been bad. Now? Even worse. Damn. Cant find a place to play billard again. I dont want my skill to deprove.. God damnit. Hope those girls will have their retribution. Damn why they did not hit me. Not thrilling enuff man.

Now my laopo had a new job and i havent even found one. Maybe im too fat and short thats y. She work full time.. Now nobody go out with me le. Feeling bore and sick of my life.

Just came back from ktv pub. Drank one tequila pop and a jug of vodka ribena and many glasses of bourbon coke. Bourbon coke free de. Cause we acc the guy then he treat us. He bought martell and coke as mixer mahz... Drink till song. But dont know y still dont feel drunk cia.

Then just now at ktv pub send Yuren a msg. I still misses him a lot man, after this few weeks he in camp I still misses him so much. Ytd a phone call lights my day and a lighter spoil my day. Damn. I hope Hear some good news from Yuren cia... Praying.. Haiz...

-I miss hp.. Cant bare to leave that place.
-I misses billard already.
-I misses Yuren even more.

Haiz.. Dont think we can go to hp ever again... Our reputation had been even worse than before. It had already been bad. Now? Even worse. Damn. Cant find a place to play billard again. I dont want my skill to deprove.. God damnit. Hope those girls will have their revenge. Damn why they did not hit me. Not thrilling enuff man.

Now my laopo had a new job and i havent even found one. Maybe im too fat and short thats y. She work full time.. Now nobody go out with me le. Feeling bore and sick of my life.

Just came back from ktv pub. Drank one tequila pop and a jug of vodka ribena and many glasses of bourbon coke. Bourbon coke free de. Cause we acc the guy then he treat us. He bought martell and coke as mixer mahz... Drink till song. But dont know y still dont feel drunk cia.

Then just now at ktv pub send Yuren a msg. I still misses him a lot man, after this few weeks he in camp I still misses him so much. Ytd a phone call lights my day and a lighter spoil my day. Damn. I hope Hear some good news from Yuren cia... Praying.. Haiz...

-I miss hp.. Cant bare to leave that place.
-I misses billard already.
-I misses Yuren even more.

Hurting and comforting words... They come. But in the end what words left will be nth. Action had to be seen. But there are no actions. No results. No conclusion. No decision. I will be there just geting hurt by words, lighting up a lil by words. Nth done to make it clear to me. Only rumours, thoughts, assumption and words from friends.

I cant do anything. Yea pray. Hoping. Nth else. All has to be done by him.
*crys

Friends blog webbie changing to www.red-deceit.blogspot.com in a weeks time.
Pls tag when u saw this msg cos i dont wanna spend time tagging on all ppl's blog. Thanks.
For saving my trouble.

He's going back in. Anyway saw them at friday at seven eleven. But we walked past and didnt bother to stop after seeing what they did when they saw us. I nearly cried. But i didnt but was boiling with anger. So we went to alvin hse to play mahjong. Played for a little while. Pat called and ask us to go down find them. What for ask us to find them when two of them saw us and faster walked away. I didnt expect much from him i just wanted to see him. I dont understand why. Then after that I went down happily. And went back crying. Damn. I cant believe what he said. I dont know what happen between xy and sam. I dont know what happen between you guy's gossip. But IM NOT INCLUDED AIGHT! Im not associated with that incident. Dont judge me from my best friend. Its like as if what she does they judge me from it. Shes like that and im not. I just cant believe it. They say i dont mind. But i heard it from ur mouth. Then I was like pissed off already and I cant stand being there. Then I told them we are going back to our friend's hse already. Then Pat said his last fucking words and I was like 'Dont say me until like that im not like that!' And walked away tolerating. Then immediately broke down and cried. But i didnt really cried cos my shoulders are shaking but i manage not to drop any tears. But when i reach the hse. I immediately walked to the mahjong table and shuffle the tiles. Thats not like me cos i was always the lazy one. I didnt even greet alvin when i reach the hse. Then xy started something abt them. I replyed. Saying all the unhappiness i have abt them. I just keep saying and finally broke down. This time i really cried. I was trying to control my tears when i talked but it just keep flowing. After that i was like nvm nvm its over. And vent my frustration on the tiles. But that day very ke yan. I was like laughing all the way from hougang to serangoon. Then that night we played mahjong then outside one girl very guai lan. Then she from the living rm scolded us. Then we from the kitchen shouted back then it was like shout there shout here. Lol but didnt manage to see that girl. In the morning Pat called us to go down. Said Sam wanted to talk to xy. Then in then end Sam didnt said anything. Haiz nvm. I was there blood boiling all the way. Then I heard sam said yuren kin lei. Then he say you ask her come down then never say anything. Then I was like cool down a lil and happy a lil. Lol. But I felt that Sam is just jking or what. Then after that we went to Pat hse drink play taidee. Then very sian Yu Ren slping all the way. Then go home that time he just walked away. I wanted to say goodbye. But he walked too fast. Haiz. Nvm. I felt that all this is over.

Dont think So... =) All the Best

Yay he tml come out le. Aslo dont know if I got the chance to see him anot. Sam and Patrick never contact us anymore. I also dont know what the fuck happen. Thats y I dont like to know ppl outside. A while lost contact le. Like what cia. I hope got the chance to see him.

Just came back from hougang. My dad go fetch me. Lol sat sat cia. But dunno why ppl keep disiao xy and me lor dont like wor. Haiz friday also dunno whether want to not liaoz. Pat they all la. What the fuck. Dont understand them lor. Everytime attitude. Then Xy dont like him only then dont want contact liaoz. Then Sam and xy how. Then that Sam also lj kia de leh. If like Xy then jio her la. Do until like that liaoz then want how. Because of Pat meh? Kns lor. If he your bro then he should not because he like then dont let u have her mahz. I just feel that Sam is because of Pat but dunno izit that reason or he just wanna play Xy's feeling. Damn. Hate guys. Thats y i always dont like paikia. I wanna find one serious want also difficult. Then he lei. I also dunno la. Like play play only. Kns. Guys sux.

Three more days.. Miss you.

Stuck at home with no ciggie.

Tml going out with kwang. He want smoke wor. I no need buy ciggie. =) I deserve to smile. Lol.

Friday go mos. Hope got liquor. Hope after that go hotel with them especially him. ;)

Knn give him dua again. Actually at home wear till nice nice then in the end change clothes again. Then ton three days le now come home blog. Sian. Also dunno what to say.

Today Ah zai say wanna bring us go pub again. Hope he dont dua kang again. Cause must talk about that job the thingie. Later eating swensens with ma sis. Then after taht xy coming over cause she want go woodlands take things. Ytd she gotta conflicts with patrick they all then in the end talk cok want. Like nth happen like that. Then i also diam diam never say him cause if not really then i cant go out with them and see him le. One by one all attitude. Cant stand it.

I cant believe i can wait patiently here without any second thoughts and fustration. I still remember my ex, everyday waiting for him to msg me seem more difficult. Maybe because i already know that he wont patch with me. So it seem more difficult to wait and missing him everyday knowing i wont get a chance to ever see him. Damn. Why am I thinking of him. Nahz nahz no more kwang. He's history. I just wanna get back ma linkinpark cds!!! Damnit! Seven more days and he's out! Then I could possibly see him? Maybe...

Yay he friday come out sunday then go back in! Then next friday go mos. But i dont think i want to go. Cause no money. And i want to forget him?? But i dont want too.. Haiz dont know? see first.

I've seen him for the last time. Didnt have anything better to say to him. Cause I am afraid. I am afraid to show. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of loving someone. Now I have to wait.

Im already missing. Waiting patiently. What for gal? For a happy ending? Fuck you dream on. There no happy ending just look at you. They are just entertaining a fucking you. Nvm just wait its only months.

Im down with words

Now I know. You are just entertaining a fucking me.

Bye.. Saw your friendster... nth to say. Im the one sticking out. Im sorry but I cant go on. Bye.

Lol. After ytd that msg he didnt called me already. Phew. But im sorry.

Fuck that server so lag. I wonder how they guys lvl up so fast with that laggy server. I thought the server had capped players at 500. It was way off better. Damn. Its off.

Lol. Watch hide and seek alone at home in the dark really creeps me out.. The sound effect was good. Damn it scare me a million times. And i pause a while give myself a rest later then continue. Lol. Nice way to pass my time.

I still miss you.
I still want you back.
Do you remember me?

I given everything
I love you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You dont even notice me

Blah blah blah blah blah
I cannot slp le ar!

Lol... Stupid i dont understand why ppl choose to call at odds hrs of those times...
Damn i keep trying to slp but keep waking up by the song of Collide... My ring tone...
I already have difficulties in slping they still keep waking me up...
Damn it...

I want to smoke! No ciggie

He's so irritating! I feel that im beginning to dislike him now. What he says I dont even understand. And plus he keeps calling me. And talk those 'un'understandable talks, oh pls im using hi card damnit. Plus we cant even communicate well I guess this have to end.

Hahz. Best damn site in singapore. It was sure hella funny. Here's an entry.


Want to piss me off? Just go "LOL"

If you are the few lucky people who don't know wat "lol" means, i envy you. "lol", for the blissfully ignorant, is an acronym for "laughing out loud" and its been overused too much by every single geek who has ever chatted online. Now there's nothing wrong with using lol if something really made you laugh out loud. Problem is, no one actually laughs loudly or even laugh at all at something they replied lol to. Don't know what i mean? Here's a sample conversation between 2 chatters:
1: i saw "spiderman 2" yest, it was so LOL!
2: LOLx! (don't ask me what the x or z means)
1: seriously i lol thruout the movie
2: LOLz!
1: lol(continues on and on with their lol orgy)

There's no meaning behind this acronym anymore cause it seems to be an automated response to anything remotely humorous. The only thing worse than reading someone lol their way through a conversation, and most likely cause they're so boring they have nothing else to say anyway is to meet someone who uses lol in his speech like that moron in my class who says "L-O-L!" whenever he hears something funny. If you're trying to be different come to school wearing a straw hat with a ribbon or your shirt inside out or something, otherwise you're just pissing the shit out of everyone you LOL'ed at. It's not funny, it's not witty, just let it go.

If you're still gonna be a hyporcrite and pretend to lol or rofl or lmao even when you're not actually laughing, why not take it one step further? Use this other kickass acronyms to show everyone how fucking loud you're laughing and how different you are. If you want to be cool and mysterious don't bother explaining what any of it means, just go "LOL you dun even know wat ROFLTMRCI means!" and theyll all be going "you're so cool LOL!"

I need anger management. One day i will kill myself. I might kill them all. Kill us all. Kill you! Still feel like squeezing things. Feel like crashing thing. Feel like breaking things.

I HATE MUM!I HATE MUM!I HATE MUM!I HATE MUM!I HATE MUM!I HATE MUM!
I want go jb! Fucker HER! The last time i shouldnt give you back MY passport! Fuck YOU!

Honestly speaking, I MISS YOU STEVEN!! heeh

Ytd went to wait for xy because she just found a job at a restaurant. And that fucking restuarant cost me $4 for two cup of juice. Im already so broke. Then waited for sometime then too bored. Called ming kar then after that go play billard. Haha he lose me pool and billard. But then after that when i go meet ma baby with xy at hougang my billard totally sucks. I dont understand. I really really dont believe it. I dont believe i only hit two balls in. It totally sucks. After that we went to a ktv pub at east coast, drink two glass of beer then went off. What a waste of time two glass?! After that xy went home i went to find ma baby. Just reach home now. But later xy say maybe got chivas drink. But i dunno want to go not. Tml go jb de pub. Not sure i can manage to get or find my passport not. Fuck them.

I guess I dont really understand you. Tell me something... Just tell me anything abt you. I really wanna know. We dont even talk on the phone. Guess we really cant communicate at all. I hope i had a way. I hope this will grow.. Cant possibly stay this way. And plus i dont know what I really wants. And im confused.

These few days i have been confusing myself with things that maybe isnt reasonable or with some lame stupid stuffs.. Been feeling depressed lately..

Sleepless nights continued. I dont know why i cant sleep at night. And some time in the day when i really tried sleeping. I cant. I feel so so tired but everytime i lie down images and thoughts keep squeezing into my brain and its so vivid, it never gets blurry. Dont say i never try hard enough. i lie there for hrs and hrs its just wasting my time. Even though if im really tired I still cant fall asleep. And i really really wants to sleep. So thats y everytime i got a chance to feel sleepy i immediately take these chance to sleep well. And i will put everything aside just to get some rest. I even cancel my appearance for the hang out of the day just to slp. Some will understand. And things has started to get so bad that i starting to vent my anger on friends. I sorry xy if these few weeks i've been really irritating or boiling. I know you could understand. You havent shouted or screaming at me. Thanks fer ya patience. Thats really the person i should thank.

Money is slipping out like fine sand get blown away by the wind and I will never get it back. Or will i? k stop crapping. Jobs? Suckers. What kind of fuck do they really want? Diploma to work in a restaurant as a waitress? Stfu! I dont understand it. Why dont you just call? So many i actually cant believe none of them called.

Ima bitch! I dont really understand what i want. Whats wrong with me?! Ever since kwang broke up with me. Im starting to act like a slut. Do what sluts do. I really really hate myself but i dont understand why i did things like that. Im a fugly fucking fucker+sucker. Xy pls i need you to help me. Only you i can seek advice for. Only you knows what happened all the way. And I really meant all that way. Im a stupid bitch!

Friends? If there are many looking for a perfect one. Im sorry theres no human like that exist at all. Maybe to the planet Z. Look if you want. Im sorry but you've got to have the unlimited patience to withstand their bad points. And i 've empathsize these many times but seems like no one really understand or is that they understand but nth is done but gossiping. I know, I have done some gossiping too but these only the one and only one i gossiped about. Ask yt she knows. Lol. Look. My tolerance level is high thats y i can stay with xy for a long long time. And now we became really close. Take a stand.

I can say this is the first time i sleep during these three days... Lol that chalet was quite boring but it was worth it.. Got to know some ppls.. lol and got a free hi-card.. Heeh! happy.. Then before that i bought jim beam then we all drank at paradiz.. And i can say drink the most there... As i drink it nik and can say is more than anyone... Then after that sit that fucking bus so rocking then head abit dizzy then vomit... Then reach there le go see ah gua lol. then taxi uncle bring us go see ah gua.. hahahz. so funny that uncle... The most funniest part is the part we reach le then gostan.. Friends want to know ask me.. lol. Then meet yixiong outside then i and him finish the jim bean half half... xy dun dare drink.. Then we went in drink again.. lol sian cia whole day was like drinking then i have an empty stomach and that was a 43% exciting volka it says lol.. then drink till dawn sun rise already then go vomit again.. But nth to vomit all come out water... Then after that my stomach very very pain cia.. and hungry. After that at night le sit cab home lor sian waste money...

This few weeks.. Thoughts are flashing pass fast. And the day that i went out with Alphy, he really enlighten me and open up my mind. We can only be young once. And enjoy our sch life once. Once its over we have to work hard. But what about me? Thinking of slogging for life? No way. I really wanna go back sch and study hard. But what really stopped me is the loneliness in sch... And what if i wasted anotehr yr again and all sorts of possiblility. But i really wants to study. But theres no determination at all..

Ha.Ha. Ppl can change their mind want lor not so straight lor.. Anyway is you keep forcing then i say yes want lor... If you dont want me like that, then dont force me anymore. When i say i dont want means i dont want lor

I dont understand why. I really just dont understand why. I dont understand why ppl like to 'force' me do things that i dont want to do. After 'forcing' one thing they 'force' me to do anything again. And their 'force' is so call persuading me only. Then after persuading im still the same no motion they started to get angry. What for? Whats the use?

Wah.. Just came home then need to go out again haven slp for the whole day... ytd he bring me out meet me at ard 3am plus.. then go eat supper.. Nice! Eat that thing call gong bao tian ji... With porriage damn nice! Getting spicier every min...Then after that go play pool n billard.. Shit ass no form lor.. Totally... I i sian diao.. My skills like deproving... Deprive of practices... Then after that go where ar? .. Lol i forget... oh ya Mount fable.. Quite nice la... Then sit there talk cok very funny he's jokes... Lol.. Then go eat breakfast.. Nice! the you tiao at Geylang Lor 18.. Then the shao bin and taiwan mian xian.. Damn nice.. Then after that go hotel play poppers.. Another name call rush ar he say.. Quite shoik la... But the kick last for mins only.. So short...Then i keep sniffing lor... lol then he go slp i watch tv... Watch two show very NICE man.. got hbo want cia... Then i try to slp cant slp cia! Out side so fucking noisy lor.. Construction worker outside drill drill drill... Then come back home got ppl drilling upstairs wtf... Then whole day havent slp so fucking tired... Waiting for my friend's call just afraid that i would fall asleep...

Fucking angry with xy... I have already told her first hand.. Once i started slping it would be difficult to be up again.. Then in the end i wake up at 9pm then she dont want to go out already... Wtf she everyday just acc her guys can already.. Two guys would keep her fucking busy... If shes still free then go find more, more guys would be happy to have her companion..

Lol... sian.. wah lan eh... walk ard hougang then three bikers there following us then in the end get xy no... then go plaza with us... before tht i n xy go burn newspaper in the rubbish bin lol then the whole thing melt.. lol.. so fun then got ppl saw us then we run cia so thrilling so fun... lol.. then we walk walk walk then saw rubbish bin again then move the bin in the middle of of the road lol funny seh then the ppl come out of the car and put the bin back lol... stupid seh.. then those three reach plaza le then they go in and one of them have not reach the age limit but they smuggle them in then in the end kana ban... Then they downstair si bei dulan then throw the chair all that then ka zhua saw mahz also du lan then ka zhua say kua lan jiao then in the end like wan tio dai ji like that in the end shake hands settle le cos the ah yi c0me and stop them mahz.. say what u all now also nv chup liaoz still want fight then after that settle le... so lame lor... Luckily i think they dunno they know us ar... If not cia sway next time how to go plaza...'
wtf.. sway cia know them... They take xy no. that time i already sian diao liaoz... Then heard they want go plaza with us i more sian lor

... I still miss him.. I still love him... Pls want me back... Im sry yong yuan i know its not fair to you... because my heart still have my ex.. Im sry...

Anyway.. Feel like breaking him le... Got stead feels like none.. Wtf. Does he treat me like his stead.

Just woke up... Wondering why xy never call me.. I thought she told me to wake up at 4pm tehn after that meet her father why she didnt call? Ncm anyway.. ytd go clark quey.. It was whack.. But luckily we got a taxi driver to drive us around lol.. FREE. lol in the worning drive go eat drink smoke and talk cok. lol Now that was fun.. I haven laugh out in a while.. Hhahah anyways hope can like this again lol

Hearing those songs... His back again... His shadown is back in my mind.. Sobs... SAve me!

Wondering... Was it a trail of unwise decision? Or a blessing in disguise?

Wrong wrong wrong! Everything is going wrong! Save me!

Lol.. He so cute lor.. This few days keep talking to him on phone.. yep.. Then feel that he very cute lei... Dunno lei then i just scare that he would be disappointed to see me looking like this... Maybe he thought that i will look pretty then he jio me want... Then dunno la.. whether to accept anot... Then we can get along quite well.. I dunno if he is sincere anot but he sounds not really sincere lei... Like just finding a stead to acc only... soo..... Dunno lahs...

Hm.. Today went to ps actually plan to go look for a job but we wear kinda too improperiate to go for an interview so we plan to go on monday... Then go there to repair my fucking shoes which i bought for just one fucking week and its fucking spoilt... And im fucking hot... Then after that went to look fer daniel.. After that I saw a two niggaz and they say hi i say hi back then they come over.. We chatted and he asked for number.. And guess what? They are from america!! o.m.g... Lol Very nice to chat.. Seem like a million things to talk about... Then they acc us walk to bugis and then we went seperate ways. then we went to find mingkar gabriel and his friends.. After that we went to his friend's hse before that i think they eat pills.. Then kinda weird... A while after we went off sit at bus stop chatted for a very long time... She say she dare not say cause scare i angry then don care her but i told nah just say out everything no need scare want.. Next time anything just say out... Then we chatted very very very long and after taht chat we felt even more closer.. And after then sit cab go home.. The taxi uncle also very good to chat lol.. Talk cok with him all that lol

Wtf Fuck you.. The moment i just thought of you u appear just at ma face.. And what is that fucking expression?! Don wanna see me again izit?! Wtf is that busy stuff? Busy going out playing pool or hanging around with yer girls.. Fucking ji hong. Ooooh soo cuuute with that fucking sunglasses on is it.. So cool so cute. Ugh! Pui! Yer taste fucking sucks! Eew! Pp EE U! So fucking short i guess even shorter than me.. So I guess you like toot toot innocent girls Y?! For you to fuck izit for yer to cheat again fucking right? Fucking geeks. Wtf Do you think you are mr Charm.. Charm any girls you want.. I sincerely spit on you... You ruin ma day.

What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU. What the fuck?! FUCK YOU.

-ji hong kia!!
-ji hong kia!!
-ji hong kia!!

-decided to slowly take my time to it...
-sort things out clearly before i make move
-and not to make those same fucking mistakes again
-try to change ma self first though

.. Haiz.. I really dunno what to say.. Feel like calling him but i cant find the courage to call him... Its like very thick skin and im also not very chio then like very bo bian and dun want face like that... Thats what i felt.. It really saddened me that y do i look this way... Then today he rejected me.. Like so paiseh lor... Not really a big deal cause it just an offer to go out lol.. Im just waiting for him to ask me that fucking qn that wont get out of his mouth... haiz... how long do i have to wait... But i do really hope if i got a chance i hope it last long.. Cause im kinda sick and tired of short relationship... Im afraid if i called then there would be some mins of sinlence cause it would be awkward if there were nth to talk about.. Im in a dileima now! Should i call or not?

-sry i hate it when theres much spelling mistake in my entry...
-lol kwang called me in the afternnoon
-Should i call him?
-Still thinking about the taxi thingy
-Nice one heeh

Hai... Fucking family... Friends my sim card kana confiscated soo... Don msg nor call... Call me directly to ma house or xueying to find me... thz...

-Bad gastric
-Nv eaten most of the times
-I need a fucking job!

lol. Nice one Tsk... You are so wasted. After going to Indonchine, vomit in the cab... taxi uncle was 38 hot.. I was like sorry... lol. Reaching hougang plaza alone.. went up to the toilet and fucking vomited again... Lie down in the toilet kiao ka and slp lol... For half an hr... ppl keep calling dunno wtf they wants.. When to meet ah long then slp all the way until andy bring me to stairway then we talk all the way... then after that dunno go where then i go home...

-In cab.. darren what r u tryna do?
-Anyways.. nice one
-Slow and soft... :P hahz

Bored to tears... Wonder later going boat quey or not... Free liquor again yea.. that rox..

-Will he be mine?
-Im too ugly fer him?
-em bore with me?

... don like this template.. its just not me.. not my style... no time change..

Why did he do that? Why did he call me up for a chat with me when he has been ignoring me for the past months... Or is he just wants to have that sleipnir... Wants me to teach him how to make that and mixture??? Then i ask him to teach me make that arch angel wings he told me he forget... like wtf? Its like keeping all the good stuff to himself without want to share... All i did was give and he all he did? Take... After that we chatted for a while and he just suddenly said everytime he lie on his bed he will think of me and that... I was like the 'huh' expression... And it sucks... And he ask me did i missed him all that.. And said he'd missed me.. I immediately felt that he was just using me as a spare tyre and trying to make me fall deeper for him.. Then suddenly say all this, the next day wont even have a msg sending to my hp.. Fucked up by it. And wasnt going to care about that and that phone call was just entertaining a fucking me...

I bet shes going back.. This is totally whack.. How should it goes.. My regrets..


Why did he do that? What does he wants??

What is he trying to prove to me??... fuck it...

I want to say thank you Alphy for this few days... lol.. He will be leaving in less than two months time to uk... aww so sad... dont want you leaving so fast wor... If not no one bring me out le.. lol...

Let me introduce you to my thinking process.
Murders happen all the time, right? Well, what's so fucking bad about it? The person doing the murdering is doing a huge favor by killing, as this life is a waste of time, and is pointless, as everyone I hope, knows. But, if the murderer is put into a jail cell for the rest of his life, that won't do much. One, it takes up space, and two, this will make the murder more pissed. So, if they were given a death penalty, like a beheading, it would be better, and also, it would reward them, for they will get removed from this life too. It's like doing people a favor, killing. See what I'm saying?
And hanging heads and dead bodies around places would warn those who are afraid to die, so they woudn't do a crime, like stealing for example.
Also, what's so good about this 'god'? It's just not in a person's true nature to go through life like a Barney episode. It just makes more sense the other way around. It's just way too hard for me to explain on how I feel about this. It really is. Jesus was probably indeed an actual person who SEEMED to do great deeds and had messangers at his side. Angels are what 'messenger' means in a certain language; I forgot which. And people probably later looked at this Jesus as a 'god' and worshipped him. And he died and one of his messengers, Lucifer, betrayed him, for reasons I can completely agree with, and so god just bannished him to a place actually better than heaven.
If people keep being all happy and continue breeding, this world will evantually be a huge trash pit. Full of houses, roads, pollution. And if this 'god' didn't want his world to suffer, he wouldn't let it, would he? He is a fraud. And if indeed he did 'create', then people are the worst possible mistake you ever could make. Did he create people to become his allies against Lucifer? IS HE THAT WEAK? IF HE IS GOD THE ALMIGHTY, WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS 'MIGHT'? WOULDN'T LUCIFER BE DESTROYED BY NOW?
As I said before, this is all very hard for me to explain how I feel. But let me just sum it up: Do we want to live in a world so bright it blinds us?

... Today i sms him hows ya.. he told me let like lor.. now a days got group togethre with a lot of ppl then in the group got one girl closer with me... I was like.. damn it..

No im free... I cant be trapped inside his palm anymore... Damnit... Who the fuck do you think u are

The job is so fun. Lol answering phone and just pressing com. lol But some things are quite complicated... So fucking complicated and no confident in doing things...

Most ppl always think that scooter is lok cok and and sucks. I think so too. But now i've tried and its not so bad... Very comfortable and good to sit... Can move about too. Lol. And its damn cold at night just wearing a tube and riding a scooter. Omg i was shivering man.. So cold... But song lol

Yippe!~ Chivas! Here I come!! Yay today xy father come back from overseas then she called him to buy Chivas come back then he's coming back today! Yea i love hard liquor! Bye bye reality! Come back ma world!

I finally a job... Can get on with my life but kinda little pay with tough working days... but... nvm at least i wont think too much...

Hai today i look at a fucking chain mail and cried.... Xuan qing do you know how i miss you...
I miss you so badly, dearly... I MISS YOU!!!

I got soo wasted last morning.. I even vomited on the bus with no one here talking care of me... I remember the last time i got wasted he took care of me greatly... I will not forget it... His strong arms and his gentle care... But in the bus it felt so cold so lonely so pathetic so weak...

Your not here when i needed you
But its time to face the truth
I will never be with you
You just dont get a clue
Why do i feel so blue
I finally see you through
Your not as good...

Or do i really see you through?
No I dont...

Why cant i just forget you??

WAR OF THE WORLD!!!
Overall a nice show...

The best was the sound effect and the suspension... But what really makes the show bad was the ending. I was really bored off by the ending. Its like too simple and 'too dramatic simple' was like a children ending with a good explanation... But i really really like the suspense in the movie. I could really feel the fear and their acting was superb. They really act out the fear and make it look real. The sound effects were thrilling. I was so engrossed in the movie. I watched every sec and min of it without fail. I even ignored my sis qns. The graphic was ok. Some part of it was funny too. But i really must stress on the suspension. It was really really god damn fanastic. I dont know how should i stress on the word fanastic and i dont know how should i describe it. But i know it was the best suspension movie i've seen. So check it out will ya?

Another day is going by

I'm thinking about you all the time

But you're out there

And I'm here waiting

******************

And I wrote this letter in my head

Cuz so many things were left unsaid

but now you're gone

And I can't think straight

**********************

This could be the one last chance

To make you understand

**********************

I'd do anything

Just to hold you in my arms

To try to make you laugh

Somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything

Just to fall asleep with you

Will you remember me?

Cuz I know I won't forget you

**************************

Together we broke all the rules

Dreaming of droping out of school

And leave this place to never come back

***********************************

So now maybe after all these years

If you miss me have no fear

I'll be here I'll be waiting

**********************

This could be the one last chance to make you understand

And I just can't let you leave me once again

**************************************

I close my eyes

And all I see is you

I close my eyes

I try to sleep

I can't forget you

And I'd do anything for you

Who the fuck do you think you ar?! OmFg! Just look at yourself do yer think ur any man that can charm any girls. Dont be too confident punk. So what do you think ur doing avoiding me here. You suck your words suck even more. I will not take any more of your sweet little lies. I finally see yer through. No way am i gonna fall into ur trap again. Ur just wearing a perfect mask.

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Your not real and you cant save me
And somehow now your everybody's fool

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws like your pretending
But now i know she

Never was and never will be
Have no shame dont u see me
You know you've got everybody's fool

omg I cant control my emotions now. He really just made me look like a crying doll... I have no expression now. The blank look on my face... The sad smile i often gave... The look in his eyes that made me cry omg omg omg im really going mad.

Its over! ITs over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over.... .... GOD DAMN IT! WHY CANT YOU JUST ACCPET DA FACT THAT ITS OVER!!!!!

Nth will ever be the same again. Not if we are friends.
Because no.
I cant turn to you knowing that you will cheer me up again because no you left me that very day i cried.
I cant live in your love and concern anymore because no you dont love me anymore.
I cant hug your arms no more because no you left me here all alone knowing that i needed you.
I cant look at your brown eyes any closer now because no you have to go the moment i was missing you so badly.
I cant often see your msg on the phone now because no I dont even exists in your heart now.
I cant see you that often now because no you are beginning to feel irritated about me.
I cant be your lady now... because no... you left me that very day... ...

Every single day i live with a new hope that you would just msg me automatically just to let me know that you'd miss me or that a miracla would happen or i can see you today. Just a simple wish from you but every end of the day my hope gets broken. I hate the feeling of disappointment repeating just over and over again. Its like living on the day you broke up with me. I cant stand this kind of hurt and sorrow. God please return to me the miracle salvation. I still believe in you... I still believe you would change your mind and come back to me. I still beliee we can make it through this. Im still waiting for that very day. Please dont disappoint me again. Dont hurt me again. Can I see you now?