_____________________________________________ Just listening to the voices...

Monday, April 12, 2010







Thanks for all your efforts done and I know you have tried your best!
Sorry that I unintentionally blurted out those words that hurt you.
And I didnt know I meant that much.
And why do I meant that much.
Im the kind of person who needs to know why.
Reason reason reason, not feelings feelings feelings!
=[ You do care...

But I dont really know, do I?
And this is what makes you interesting.
I cant read you like a book unlike the others.

And it still does sting a little whenever I think about it.
No 1... No 2... No 3... No 4... No 5...

-

Wheres David?
Sigh.

Next week is my orientation.
The feeling isnt that great as I expected it to be.
The trepidation im feeling to step into another unfamiliar zone,
yet excited.

This year is full of the unexpected suprises...

Whats next?
I hope more.

Friday, April 09, 2010

I realised, you could never forget, but to accept it as part of your life.

Back from a week of vacation.
I got so much to do!

I realised I havent truly let go of whats bothering me about the past relationship.
But the more I let go, the more I see the beauty in him.
Theres so much difference.
I learnt to appreciate better.
I learnt to encourage.
I learnt to listen.
I learnt to expect lesser.
I learnt not to hurt the ones who love me.
I learnt to keep negative feedbacks to myself, because I realised, honesty in some ways doesnt mean its healthy.

This year romance has definitely been a focal point.
From the start, Ive been involving in NAD.
Issues from NAD had been affecting me and my life.
Things are worth to think about, to reflect about if it did have effects on you.

Three viewpoints, three perspective of things I see.
But its blurred.
The more I think about it, the more I dont get it.

D once said to me, "Whats sad is that, you didnt know how much he loved you."
And I dont wanna hurt either NAD anymore.

-

Life is an experience.
I wished I had more of an experience.
An adventure.
Music is too, an adventure.
So much things undone. So much things to learn.
So much things to experience. Why stop?
Why let the routine of life take you down.
When we were young, we desire for freedom.
We search for freedom.
But when things get rougher, life brings us down, tie us back to our old boring routine. Because we get used to it.
Dont let the too common or too different people/things scare you. Because it is too an unforgettable experience.
But I never want to stop seeking.
Never want to stop experiencing.
How crazy can life get.
Freedom is youth.

Im still 21, and I still want to learn.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Love?
Not really.
Just great companions of my life.
Because I just realised, I have lost the love of my life last year.

I HAVENT CLUBBED THIS WEEK,
AND I HAVENT BEEN TO PH FOR TWO WEEKS.
I miss the awesome crew! :[

Ever since Dbl o closed. I hadnt the mood to club at all.
Im reserving all of my days for jammings and guitar-ing!
And of course, tattoo-ing.
CANT WAIT FOR THE 2ND ONE!
Its an addiction.

But tonight is solely meant for Clash of the Titans.
And some steamboat.
And some booze.
Hopefully with some rock n roll.
<3

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Sucker love, a box I choose.
No other box I choose to use.
Another love I would abuse,
No circumstances could excuse.

In the shape of things to come.
Too much poison come undone.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

Sucker love is known to swing.
Prone to cling and waste these things.
Pucker up for heavens sake.
There's never been so much at stake.

I serve my head up on a plate.
It's only comfort, calling late.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.

All alone in space and time.
There's nothing here but what here's mine.
Something borrowed, something blue.
Every me and every you.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I finally found the song I've been looking for, for months.
That song that was playing at Cold Hard Beer.
"Hurts so good!
Come on baby make it hurts so good!"

The best thing was, I woke up listening to it.
Ahh, the blues, the rock n roll.

Note to self:
I got to stop drinking Cookie Spin during work.

Reasons why:
I am getting fat.
I am prone to being diabetic.
My eyes and nose are already itchy due to the sweetness.
Coffee make teeth yellow. Smoking already did its time.
I wonder, is that spite?
Or he's habit kicks in again.
Should I or should I not?
I know he would do his 'thing' again.
Think i'll just wait til im ready. =)

-

P.S STEREOPHONICS ARE HEADING TO SG! Im so looking forward to it.
P.P.S D said he would have married me if I were older......
Why does he touch my heart so...
Its been 4 years since I knew him.
I wont cross the line because of our great friendship.
I wont lose this friendship because of a mistake.
I know that theres always him to count on when things doesnt go the way I want to...

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sorry David... =/
And I kinda miss you.
Our emotional bonds are something I cant imagine losing..

Right now, Don Henley can do his job.
Classics like this, can fix me.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

It was just weird.
Seeing him there.
Seeing him reminds me about everything about him.
I couldnt help to be harsh when the topic about him was brought up.
I guess it was the bit of jealousy mixed with some facts.
But I guess the lack of communication with him will always bring bad word for the both of us. Still, ...
Well, the past couldnt be changed. The future can.
Lets all just reflect and grow from it.
Definately I need to.
Maybe 5 years down the road... Who knows.

-

She was pretty unhappy when she saw me.
Think I tried my best to not affect her night already...
And I actually thought we could be normal friends, but the unheard words could be felt...

I saw alot of familiar faces yesterday.
Regulars were exchanging numbers when they know that it would be the last time to see each other. My second home is movingggggggg. :[

Yesterday night was just awesome awesome awesome.
The party of the month.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

I'll just go along, and hopefully things will pass soon.
Its was kind of terrible at the start, but when the last evening came, it starts to get better...

The thing I hate most about him right now, is the guilty look on his face.
I dont want to listen to anymore apologies nor see you feeling bad.
Because I have already forgiven you and let us just move on, shall we?
I wanna see you smile and joke with me again.

-

I.cant.wait.for.CLASH.OF.THE.TITANS!
Great friends or soulmates?
Did I hurt you by doing that?
Its selfish of me but im sorry.
Without you, im just nothing.

Your always there without fail...
Will you still be there tomorrow?
Next month? Next year...?
:[

Friday, March 26, 2010

Such perfect trust.
Such perfect feeling.
Such perfect impression.
Ruined.

Flawed evening...

Spinned a web of lies,
trapped a whole load of insecurities.
Today I realised, forgiving is a very loving act.
When I forgave, I learnt to love myself a little bit more.

She wanted one last week with him.
I said okay.
XH said I was very generous.
But I guess this is who I am.
I dont mind alot of things, the only thing is not to lie to me.

Today, I learnt a great deal about myself.
<3

Life is great.
I didnt teared a single because of the recent incidents with Andrew.
Yet I teared because of David.
A million thank you couldnt be enough.
You really touched my heart...

Im overwhelmed by some unexplainable emotions.

My buddy, thank you!
You stand an important place.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Am so in love with this qoute.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, a friend with weeds is better.

I miss the smell, the surreality of weeds.
I want them, I need them nao!
THREE?!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I said I needed time.
Because I had lost complete trust in you.
When theres no trust, I dont know how to even take you seriously.
I cant even bring myself to look at you anymore.
Its not even the matter about being angry or not.
Because thats not the point anymore.
It was never the issue.

Tell me how?
You wanted a chance.
"Never again."
I heard zillions of this same phrase in my life.

Because I can treat you as my playmate if you wanted to have both worlds.
Let me have it too.
But never fucking lie.
I was fair to you and I want to be.

If I said, yes, it only meant that I felt like I could trust you again.
That I could take you seriously.
But in that moment, I felt like I have to oblige to get out of this situation that is bothering me.
Time suddenly felt really slow with you...

I need to re-assess this situation on my own.
Horoscopes are true to me most of the time.
Maybe because im a true gemini.
Ha. What a say.

Issues that have been perplexing you about your romantic situation will be better understood by you during this period. If you are attached, you will better understand why someone is behaving the way that they have been, and you will understand that you have not been the source of this behavior.

All the while Ive been figuring you out.
No results.
I guess my gut instincts are frightfully right most of the time.
Now I understand.
Your mind, I understood.
Your too preoccupied to let emotions flow naturally.

And wow, it does hurt.
Didnt know.
EXP pts gained.

Thank you David!
You have been my life most important support for all these years.
From then til now.
Thank you...
When I finally felt someone deserving of my trust and respect, it was then I finally realised, they arent deserving at all.

I will refund my love, care and concern.
David, I learnt your language.
HAHA.

Monday, March 22, 2010




SAKURA FLOWERS HERE I COME!










My all time favourite crew! <3
What will I ever do without them!


The life that I had imagined years ago, is finally coming true for me.
Life, here I come!

Ohm, I heard some news from David about, ____________'s friend.
Wow. Seriously, I have some gossips to share. HAHA.

-

HES THE MAN!
HES MY MAN!
He satisfies me in so many aspects...
Definately worthy to give it all.
Andrew Guo Jia Jun!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Last night, I watched all the videos I have taken in my phone, I still laughed at the silly dance, the silly antics. I turned on the song, the ringtone I used to have and imagine it was you calling from camp. Imagine your still here with me... I smiled, I was happy for a while. Your like a ghost in my mind, let me indulge this blues for tonight. =)

Let me reminisce for a while now.
Such a great feeling...

Its another day again.
Like David said, my love like flyers.
Changes are my daily routine!
Its great working with David!!
Doesnt feels like working at all.
Idle chatter, great music, happy customers.
Whats there to ask for?
Cant wait for jamming next. :]

The after effect, comes every now and then.
Doesnt feels good at all. I know for you too.

"At first it seems so sweet, then you wake up next to a monster. This withdrawal is killing me. I wish I had never kissed him, cause I just can't resist him...

Everything will be okay
Everything will be alright
If I can get away from him
And save my worthless life."

Love defines a new meaning to me.
Love is twisted, distorted...

Friday, March 19, 2010

BRIAN MOLKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I feel so much inspire to play their music now. HAHA.
We all should just camp at Fort Canning with free live music and order pizzas under it. We the free loaders, the mud! :]

I wished Pearl Jam come tho.
Blues and solos. Awesome.

LG, Life's good.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

It still doesnt feels right.
I guess I am a very impatient woman.
Connected yet not.

Is this the right time?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Monday, March 15, 2010

I am suppose to move, but my lazy ass wouldnt budge!! :[
Am still here eating crackers.

I have never before, respected, admired and appreciated a man this much.
Apart from my Dad.
Thank you...
Without speaking a word,
its bliss.

Now where can my boy boy be? :]

Friday, March 12, 2010

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in you i suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could
Learn how to feel
Then we could
Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
And would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel
If time could reverse, is this the way I want it to be?
I think, I would want this to end but probably in a more perfect way...

I guess the time we met arent right.
I guess the time we met were right yet overwhelming and poisoning...

I wish you well.
I wish you have a great life ahead.
Because your laughter is something I wont forget.
Your melancholy stare.

Nicholas Ooi.
Your name, I wont regret.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Wow, your a much better man than I could imagined.
You impressed me...

Sunday, March 07, 2010

I am not a risk-taker so im not a good lover.

Tomorrow is my medical check up and I have something on my mind.
Sigh.
LG Life's Good... but not enough.

I need to slow down my pace, but I couldnt wait.
Im tired but I couldnt rest.
Im curious, what do I really want out of this wonderful world.
What feeling? What kind of joy?
What satisfaction?
Someone please slow me down... to enjoy the taste of freedom.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Monday, February 22, 2010

He popped the question yesterday night.
It was sweet, but not enough.
Lets give it a little more time, shall we?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I need some time.
I need some space.
I need a vast peaceful source.
I need a getaway.
To think about, to reflect, what had happened this month and whats in the future.
Because Im feeling kind of messy about how I am living my life right now.

After tonight!
=]...

Friday, February 19, 2010

This blog is dead.
Because the author find no point in blogging anymore.

-

Because your not like me, who can smile and forgive.
Maybe your just a transition of life.
Maybe, maybe.

Why do I always carry a hope for you, when I meant nothing more to you.
Because I do not meant a thing.

It doesnt matter from now.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

For the past.

A leap of faith I could not take.
A promise that I could not make.

My ashtray heart.

We were alone before we met.
No more forlorn than one could get.
How could we know we had found treasure.
How sinister and how correct.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Kind of depressing, knowing how early and young people started learning music.
I wish I had the opportunity too.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

No matter how much time you spent training on your left hand, it would be still weaker than your right hand that you use every single minute of your daily life.

With or without diseases, I still live once.
With or without misery, I still live once.
With or without integrity, I still live once.
With or without wisdom, I still live once.
Life, is meant to be meaningful and fulfilled the way you want it to.
Some want a life full of righteousness.
Some want wisdom.
Some couldnt care less.
Some wants fame and power.
Some wants a luxurious life.

I want, freedom.
Freedom for individuality.
Freedom for wisdom.
Freedom for integrity.
Freedom for thoughts.
Freedom for the bad and the good.

-

I realised I could spend my whole day with music.
Playing music, learning music.
It is INDEED my passion.

The great thing about piano is that it doesnt hurt like fuck when you practise on it the whole day.
Guitar, it hurts bad with a few hours limit. HAHA!
I can switch both whenever I want!!
LIFES JUST GREAT!!

I feel so much rejuvenated and fulfilled!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Went to walk around in KPO and out we go.
Why?! FULL HOUSE AT 8PM ONLY.
Its the high life.
Its the beautiful life.
They say, the ugliest people around is either they are lazy or they are poor.
I totally agree this time.
Why?
80% of the crowd in KPO looks like some celebrity of sorts.
Men and females. SO FUCKING GORGEOUS!
Its a visual orgasm.

Still, I dont think I fit in with such a crowd.
Such high life, such tight constrain.
My soul cant seems to breath.
Because freedom is my soul.
Everyone seems to be tightly concerned about their behaviours.
One thing that I like about this crowd, is that they look damn smart.
Looks + Brains kind of people. Who knows? Haha.
Tho my friend said I blend in damn well with the crowd.
I think my soul does not. I wouldnt be happy.
I think I fit in at the bar with a bunch of rockers and musicians doing crazy stuffs. Haha!

Still, it was a great experience being there.
I dont mind going there again but not my regular hangout.
We went to Cold Hard Beer next.
I LOVE IT!
Its more like my kind of place.
Guns and Roses, Nirvana playing in the background with beer.
Ahh. Awesome.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a star,
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why can't it be,
can't it be mine?

-

She dreams of color, she dreams of red.
-

Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar.
We were but stones, your light made us stars.



Such a powerful verses.
Pearl Jam has recently became my inspiration.
Something that i need to get when I have a job.
In case I forget.

1. Acoustic
2. Cheap ass keyboard
3. Get inked
4. Piercings

P.S I found my inspiration. :D
I respect what I do, what I chose.
I respect my mind and my soul.
To me, thats that.
I know you do care, but the only thing that hurts is that the closest dont understand but judge.
I dont care about how he say nor view me.
But you.

All in all,
I accept you as you.
But what about you?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Monday, January 25, 2010

Oh my oh my.
Lets say a big welcome to FUN AND FAME!!
Im looking forward to every Sunday now!
People! Please stay. =]

Saturday, January 23, 2010

DYING DYING DYING DYING DYING DYING DYING DYING LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I dont know wtf happened yesterday.
JIE JIE YOUR FLAMING LAMBO KILL ME!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Cancer is a scary and really terrible illness to get.
I am determine to quit smoking this time.
After watching that part, I am very very very afraid of Cancer.
Fuck.

Friday, January 15, 2010

You can put the blame on me for how imperfect your life is, when things go wrong.
Responsibilities? None.

I need another hair therapy. =[

Thursday, January 14, 2010

PLEASE DISFIGURE ME SOMEONE!!!
I HATE MY HAIR NOWWWWW
IT IS SO NOT ME!
I DONT EVER EVER WANNA PLAY THE GUITAR ANYMORE
I DONT WANNA BE SEEN WITH A GUITAR I QUIT!!
My sis says, i really look like her MEI MEI now, so cute!
DONT EVER USE CUTE TO DESCRIBE ME.
I STILL HAVE JAMMING THIS WEEK!
I AM NOT GOING TO PLAY!
FFFFFuck.
how am i suppose to start school.
how am i suppose to face my pursuers.
how am i suppose to go club looking like a cute kiddo.
damnit.

No more a lady. Just a little girl.
sdrasldhj1@$!@$!QWEAD!@@#$
Everything passes, everything changes, just do what you think you should.


I wanna go KL!
I wanna go the broad grassland!
I wanna go somewhere free!
I wanna take a fucking vacation before school starts godamnit!
At least before school starts. =]
I wanna be as free as possible before im tied down to a commitment.

"If you wanna eat the forbidden fruit, do it without regrets."
"But because of that, we are human aint it?"

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

If you like calligraphy, who would bother about the arts of literature.
If you like espresso, who would bother about the aroma of the finest coffee.
If you put the best ones in your heart, it doesnt matter how many choices are out there.

Because even if the whole world doesnt give me a second chance, I know, God has already given me the second chance.
And im brewing with excitement already!
THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!!
=D=D=D=D

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cant wait to see a rockstar Drew Barrymore.
Always love that kind of image.

How do you put rock and glamorous together?

-

Suddenly, I miss... Phantom of the Opera.
That settings, that voice, that mask, that mysteriousness.
No one can beat the power of curiosity.

Sigh, and I still have a few last words for you.
The prank is suppose to be ours,
but how come the joke is on us instead?!?!?!?
HAHAHAHAHA pathetic.

-

Everyones telling me,
as long as you got in,
its okay, its fine.
But to me, IT ISNT.
Because I can disappoint the whole world,
but not myself.

Well at least,
I am somewhere near my goal.
Not there yet,
but near.

P.S I got my own memories of my own chou bu la ji xiang gu tou to keep. =)
P.P.S My sis said, the club is always fun with me around.
Of course, we rock the place, dont we? Sexy babes? HEH.



Dont we all love blackie?!

Monday, January 11, 2010

But some things really cheered me up.
You again, thanks. =)

Humans and their idealistic world.
Sometimes, being skeptical and cynical is too, a virtue.
If life is a game, Id [Alt-F4] quit.
Before I do anything else.
I need to find the tallest building in singapore.
Talk to me after I jump.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I HATE HANGOVERS.
Lucky for 'Dalung''s shirt.
Or i'll be naked at the dancefloor.
HAHA! Its a crazy night.
Well, for me at least.

And im dying for episode 11 to be out!!
What time!?!?

Saturday, January 09, 2010

princenickmsngreenwhiteblackhairsalonyewteesentosashellssandsbucketthefall coconutmalibuguitarandlessonsamirwhitesnakeoohlathekooksdreamscranberries lingersmilecrysatthebedtheplayfulsexmotorolaheroarmyfirstdaypspfamilyoutings thekindnessthesweetnesshehadtheinnocencehiseyebrowshishumourourpromisesourdreams ourdiarybubblesstairwaychickenricethefightsthequarrelsthehillsdrunkardspicnics

Lets throw this all away.
Because tomorrow will be a better day.

Still, it breaks my heart.

Friday, January 08, 2010

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.


Our innocence died the day you came from the airport.
It died during National Day.
It died the day I betrayed you.
It died the first time you hit me.
It died the day you knocked your head against the wall.
It died the first time you called me a slut.

From the first msg, you replyed, you have been playing with my heart, til the end of it. Thank you for giving me the courage. I have nothing to hide, nothing to lose now.
I was finally able to face myself. To listen to myself. I felt like I lifted a heavy burden off my chest. Its been so long.


I look forward to the endless possibilities of life.
Asshole. I wish to never see him again.
GET OUT OF MY LIFE.
Dragonfly girls are just too charming and pretty.
I wanna be like them!!
Sad songs are soothing for my soul.
Give me a chance to treat you like my king.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

I hope he wont reply.
I hope he would be more cruel.
For this is my art of giving up.

Am grateful for my sexy drummer!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Sigh! Desperate is someone else's name now.

ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouT hankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouT hankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThanky ouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou!!!

Hi my sweetheart!
Faster come out!
I watched the latest for the second time just because I cant wait.
I just adore guys who cry.
So touching, so cute!
Theres a HDB flat at commonwealth that is 40 storey tall.
I was too tired to go up to look at the scenery, too bad.

-

Accomplished.
=D=D=D=D

-

Theres a picture I really like, but I was NOT ALLOWED to post it.
Huh? Dimgai?! Tell me why?!
So I CUT HALF. HMHP.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

By loving me, means putting down your ego, destroying your pride and boundaries.
Im sorry for making you tired of loving me.
We are confused, two hearts are tired.
Too long, who do remember the warm that we had.
Ive finally gotten my closure, thanks.

Thank you Jeff for being there at my toughest period.
No complains no grudges.
Just a quiet companion, taking care of me... =)

Chinese songs start to make sense now.

Oh and.
P.S dalang dalang dalang dalang dalang dalang dalang~~~~
I FUCKIN LOVE THIS SERIES!!!!!!!

and I found a job. awesome.

Monday, January 04, 2010

The scarab beetle.

My favourite beetle since I was young flew into the house today, and I decided to find more infomation about this beetle that I love!
Its called the Scarab beetle.

Its weird i love this beetle so much yet it is said that beetle is an ill omen.
WHY so negative about the beetle.
=/
Isolation. Just like how bulldog is being isolated.

Let me show you all, what exactly Scarab beetle is.

All these are from the Scarab beetle family.
But I dont think these can be found in Singapore.
And yes! There is golden ones. Its real.








Okay lets welcome the Singapore beetle.























As unattractive as the people are.
LOL. But i love it.



WHY? Because of this beady eyes.



I realised I like insects with beady eyes.
Like lizards. They are cute!
Dont isolate them again.
And no, I dont like cockroaches.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

I'd better stop looking for solutions when there is no cause nor problems anymore.

These few weeks had been fun for me.
New clicks new people.
Hopefully more of it will come.
And SEAB sent me a letter already.
ITS NEAR!!!

P.S I'd better stop my sinful pleasures... heh.
The typical 2 years and above couple.
Break up not because of something huge,
but some little quarrels here and there.
Life, how ionic.
Dont take it too seriously. ;]

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Poor girl squatting at the entrance of the toilet peeing.
If we weren't there, she would be still squatting there burying herself in her pee and embarrassment.
Singaporeans, so typical.
While she peed, everyone took three huge steps back from her.
Really?!
Seriously?!
What is this.

Monday, December 28, 2009

A P2 QUESTION THAT I CANT SOLVE!
HELP!



Oh and this is the biggest banana ive ever seen in my life.


I just love kittens to death!
I will come back for you!
Soon...
From XH blog

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

The year is ending. Finally.
This year had been a much terrible year for me. Okay partially. (Reckon that many of you too)
From Jan to October.
September had been a life of a party animal.
Which definately something that I'll miss.

But this year has marked the beginning of my growth.
Definately gained alot this year.
But for some people, growth are still stagnant.
And for some others, loss is in their year.

7 Jan will be the day I die.
Why? My o levels results will be out!
Dont be excited for me, because im not!
Hopefully next year would be a much better year.

New year's resolution?
This year resolution havent yet been fulfilled.
Will talk about it by the time when im definately gonna fulfil them.
Kind of pointless to list them, you know.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Fear of intimacy.

Deliberate withholding of personal information is probably fear of intimacy.
Withdrawing when others talk about their thoughts and feelings.
Protecting yourself often reveals fear of intimacy.
Critical of yourself or others is fear of intimacy.
Feelings of anger or discomfort when others voice their thoughts and opinions show a fear of intimacy.
Not caring about knowing others deep feelings and emotions is an indication of wanting to avoid intimacy.
Feeling threatened whenever you think that someone is going to ask you about private matters is another sign of fear of intimacy
Often show less affection towards their loved ones and pretend to be 'over-practical' in life.
Obsessing over the imperfections allows you to avoid really being "in" the relationship.

This is a case of "it is better not to have loved at all than to have lost… Both partners may never come to see this "relationship dance" or one or both may and make change.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I really adore my new student!
He reminds me of a classic example of a fat kid cartoon.
The one with round face and slit, tiny eyes.
SO CUUUUUUUUTE!

Monday, December 21, 2009

WHO WILL GO WITH ME TO THE POLYS' OPEN HOUSE?!?!




P.S Cant wait for the plans and gigs to happen.
P.P.S Peacefulness isnt a stimuli.

Oh and this year feels a little weird.
Does it happen when one gets older, one doesnt feels the festive spirit anymore?
In any case, Merry Christmas, still.
And a Happy New Year.

If your not a fan of Xiao Long Bao, never go to Crystal Jade's buffet.
Steamboat with the girls was great nevertheless.
Late nights and funny talks.
We should have more healthy habits.
Healthy living healthy life.

And I decided to stop clubbing for a period of, say, 1 month.
My bodys acting reeeally weird these few days.
Alcohol does bad.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

So how should / do I live?

I cant wait for the new year,
its the mark of a new beginning, a new life.
A door to walk straight out of my past.

So how should I live it?

Or rather, how should I party it?!?!

Its time to be strong.
To be determine, which never been in my dictionary.
But this time, to make it right.

To make it right for him, for her, for my family.

Im still just so afraid.
Of disappointments from myself.

Hopefully I can resume everything soon...

Friday, December 11, 2009

I am seriously leaving tracks everywhere.
Speaking of which, I miss Shih Lin's chicken.



Saturday, December 05, 2009

I cant stop.
You dont, I wont.

This is, good bye.
I am leaving you in the list of just one of them.
Your, -ordinary.

P.S Cant believe I saw you at power house tonight!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories theyre haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never wouldve worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didnt want us to burn out
I didnt come here to hold you, now I cant stop

I want you to know that it doesnt matter
Where we take this road someones gotta go
And I want you to know you couldnt have loved me better
But I want you to move on so Im already gone

Im already gone, already gone
You cant make it feel right when you know that its wrong
Im already gone, already gone
Theres no moving on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that youll find another
That doesnt always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldnt keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go



Horoscope a few weeks ago said,
to end up in an expected result in love.
Unexpected indeed.
I became apathetic to everyone.
Haha. What a joke.

I miss feeling bliss, so when can I get it?
I miss feeling in love.

Kind of saddening actually.
We were once happy.
Now its just empty.
And I see you through.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

And it goes like this.
I started coughing.
Then my Dad.
Then my Mom.
POOR MUMMY!! =[
Shes so sick now.

Pardon my lifeless post.
I HAVE NO LIFE NOW.
Apart from clubbing.
Which is no life too.

Need stimulant ;(
Need a job.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Go on and experience life.
Learn to trust yourself more,
for thats the hardest thing.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I may look like a social escort on other days.
But definitely NOT TODAY!
It is one of my most decent attire man. HAHA.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009







Hate the feeling, hate myself.

BTW, my face looks weird, my hair looks weird.

And I hope that girl can stop pestering me.

I wish...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Semi charmed life.

The songs got me reminiscing RO days.
Gotta find a job before I fall back into my lazy self.

Follow the head not the heart.
The heart stays true but the head protects you.

Things to do now.
1. Resume jogging plans.
2. Find a job.
3. Go back to guitar lessons after finding a job.
4. PARTY HARD!

Im smiling just listening to music and thinking.
About life.
LG, Life's Good.

The feeling's great, but no one to share them with.

:):):):):)

P.S I miss Timbre whenever I listened to The Verve.
Its just sooo orgasmic when your all time favourite band is being covered LIVE.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Si bei jialet.
One of the 'no idea what was happening' night.

XY says,
u dance on the stage
then u cum dwn
then i ask u wan go get drink anot
then u kip sitting on other pple table
then u drink their green tea
then the guy super pissed off wif u loh
then i drag u u oso dun wan go out
then after tat u stumber to liang court loh



HAHAHAHAHAHAH
DAMN HILARIOUS.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Cant stop listening to Chopin Waltz in A minor.
Such a lonely feeling...
Calming yet depressing.

Is there anyone or anything that could make me feel emotionally constant with them.
Now I wonder.

SIGH.
If you really think about it,
life is such a lonely process.
Death is too.

Seeking is a lifelong process.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Im just bad ass.

I NEED A FREAKING JOB AND A GETAWAY!!!
I lost 1/2 a kg during exams period.
I need more exams. NOT.

Love shopping with sis!
Although tired as hell.
Fun as hell as well.

Love my sister no matter what weaknesses we may have!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Twist turning, being emotional and venting frustration as a way to solve problems are just funny.

I find these all so trueeee. Never satisfied ever.

Though she managed to pick plenty of beautiful rushes as the boat glided by, there was always a more lovely one that she couldn't reach. "The prettiest are always further!" she said at last,

with a sigh at the obstinacy of the rushes in growing so far off.

Have you always secretly thought Brigham Young had a sensational idea when he advocated several wives for one man? Do you inwardly envy the Eastern potentates with their harems? You needn't resign yourself to romantic Walter Mitty daydreams. Just marry a Gemini girl. That way, you'll be guaranteed at least two different wives, and on occasional weekends, as many as three or four.

Naturally, there's a small catch. The difference between a girl born under the sign of the twins and a harem is her apparent lack of interest in earthy passion. It's hard to get her to settle down long enough to take passion or anything else very seriously. Her mind is always traveling, and she keeps up a pretty good running commentary simultaneously. But look a little deeper. Somewhere, hidden among the several women who make up one Gemini female, is a romantic one-one who is capable of intense passion, if you can manage to make the mental, spiritual and physical blending complete. How to develop her and still enjoy all the other women bottled up inside the Geminian personality may create a problem. I can tell you that one Gemini girl equals several women. But I'm afraid it's up to you to delve into the advanced algebra of sorting them out. Each individual case is different.

Her age will be an important clue to what you can expect, because until she matures, romance is only a game to her. She can be fickle and unpredictable to an incredible degree. First she'll be ecstatically carried away by your smile and your voice, even the way you walk. Then she'll reverse her ecstasy and criticize everything from your socks to your haircut, and she usually does it with such clever, sharp sarcasm, you may need iodine for your wounds. Now, don't let this put you out of the market for a Gemini woman. Remember you're getting at least two for one, and that's indisputably a bargain.

LOL.

Mercury females aren't as heartless as they seem to be 'at times. Their active imaginations create many fantasies. Romance is the easiest way they can express them, and Geminis have at least twice as much to express as other women. A Gemini man can be a producer, a singer, a sailor, a lawyer, an actor, a salesman and the chairman of a few boards of directors all at once-and express himself ad infinitum. But a woman can't very well swing all that, or she would be considered a little freakish. Not that Mercury girls don't pursue careers. They do. Almost every last one of them. But under the existing conditions of society, a career still doesn't offer her as many opportunities as romance to try out her myriad theories and practice her emotional gymnastics.

The Gemini girl needs your pity, not your anger. It's painfully difficult for her to really commit herself to one person at a time. While she's being impressed with a man's mental abilities and his intelligent wit, another side of her is noticing his antipathy toward the arts or his lack of response to music and poetry. When she finds someone who's appropriately creative, who's at home at the ballet or in the literary world, the duality pops up again. Right in the middle of a stroll through the museum, her other self will begin to wonder if he's practical enough to make a living or if he has enough common sense to know where he's going. I trust you're beginning to have a more sympathetic understanding of the conflicts peculiar to those born in June.

Give her credit. Shell usually manage to keep her bewilderment at her own complex character to herself, and not burden you with it. She's a lively and gay companion. Most of the time (when the mood is on the up-swing), she'll sparkle with a vivacious personality, amuse you with her clever, witty remarks, and converse intelligently about almost any subject under the sun. She enjoys all the sentimental gestures of romance and has no trouble making conquests. No woman you've ever met will delight you with more imaginative ways of loving you and such appealing charm. She can flutter her lashes with delicate femininity, but she's not at all helpless when it comes to earning her own living. A Gemini woman can play the giddy party girl to perfection, flattering a helpless, trapped male right out of his mind and his bank book. But she can smoothly change into a demure and adoring housewife, from which she can quickly switch into a serious intellectual who studies the great philosophers and talks about politics or poetry brilliantly, then suddenly turn into a bundle of raw emotion, full of nerves, tears and fears. She's certainly not stuffy or monotonous.

If you think this is an exaggeration, remember the late Marilyn Monroe. Every man she ever knew, from Carl Sandburg to her hairdresser, saw her as a totally different person than the other men who thought they knew her, too. Place a photograph of her as the seductive love goddess next to a picture of her wearing horn-rimmed glasses, a babushka and no make up, seriously intent on a lecture about Russian authors. Then add a third and fourth shot of her in a gingham apron, learning to bake a cheese soume for a husband whose athletic talents and warm, human qualities she worshiped-and walking sedately beside another husband whose intellectual abilities and literary talent she deeply respected and admired. Add two more photos. One showing her with a tear-stained face, full of longing, after losing her third baby-another shot of her in a bikini, gaily laughing with a handsome French movie star on the Riviera. These are not posed pictures. They were snapped when she wasn't even looking, let alone seeking publicity. It's a perfect example of the eye of the camera exposing all the women contained in one Gemini female, who successfully kept her multiple nature hidden behind the image she chose to project the most frequently.

Your Mercury-ruled girl longs to be "really, truly in love," but it keeps eluding her. She yearns for motherhood, but often that eludes her, too. She finds a different perfection in each man she meets, as she restlessly searches for the one man who has all the qualities she needs for happiness.

You'll find her a great pal. The Mercury girl will go along with you on anything from scuba diving to speed racing-bicycling or badminton. She'll show an interest in all the outdoor sports, and still manage to look as soft and feminine as a powder puff, with a mind as fast as a whip. The Geminian sharp mentality will show clearly when her curiosity is excited by any new subject. Her Mercurial mind will let her see all the intricacies of your creative ideas, and she'll probably throw in a few promotional schemes of her own. As long as you don't demand consistency from her, she'll be completely fascinating.

It's only fair to warn you that this girl can sincerely believe she's in love, and find other men attractive at the same time. Unless she's near you all the time, she can forget you quicker than a woman born under any other Sun sign. It's her nature to accept change, even seek it. Until she leams to control her devoted courtship of constant activity, neglecting to cultivate patience and stability, the Gemini female can make quite a mess of her life- and yours. Fortunately for the men in love with them, most Geminian women settle down into a deeper understanding of their own natures before it's too late.

Once you've proposed to her and she's accepted, you can pity all those men who are doomed to a life of monogamy with just one woman. You'll have several wives when you marry your Gemini.

Wife Number One will be able to adjust to anything you require of her. If you require faithfulness, she can manage that, too, providing you're interesting enough to have won her real love. I refer to that blending of mental, spiritual and physical compatibility, with the physical part added last, like the paprika, after the other three are well mixed. This wife will never sulk if you take a new job out of town. With her ingenuity, taste and sense of color, she can make a new home look lovely with a light touch of her dainty, clever hand. Besides, she'll love the adventure, and there will be no nagging reproaches that you're gambling with future security. The excitement of new horizons interests her more. She may have a surprisingly good head for business and she'll back all your original ideas. You can count on her to go to work if you need extra income, and she'll be pretty practical about how to spend it. Although she may give an outward impression of flightiness, she's not as nighty as she appears. She's a thinker, and a very clever one, underneath all the bright small talk.

Wife Number Two will be moody. You might just as well expect it. She'll have her satirical moments when she can be cynical and flippant, by turns. At the same time, she'll challenge you mentally. But a man needs to be stimulated, doesn't he? Go ahead, top her in an intellectual argument. (It's what she secretly wants anyway.) This wife won't be easily shocked by life or have any preconceived prejudices. She may decide to march in a protest parade or join a sit-in and forget to come home until midnight. What if you do have to join the fellows while she's out making a speech or going to night school to pick up a few extra credits? At least she probably won't hound you with • suspicious questions about who you were with, where you were, and what you were doing. Don't question her, either. You're on the honor system. So is she. This one is a highly independent individualist.

Wife Number Three will be bored and depressed with housekeeping routines. The beds will be unmade and the dishes will stand in the sink while she daydreams, reads or writes the outline for a play. She may serve you a can of beans for 'dinner without even bothering to open the can. But you can have the most soul-satisfying conversations with her into the wee, small hours. She'll sympathize with your frustrations at the way life has treated you. She'll satisfy both your emotional and your intellectual cravings, be curious about your opinion of Buddhism and excited about your attempts to write a song. In short, she's pretty good company. She'll be very affectionate, too, since you haven't bugged her about dusting and baking and all that nonsense. This wife may make a mess of the checkbook now and then. But if you suggest a sudden camping trip or a few days in Las Vegas, she'll enthusiastically pack her suitcase without a bunch of silly objections, like how it's going to affect the budget or who will feed the Siamese cat and what if the bathtub leaks while you're gone.

Wife Number Four will be a gay and laughing mother. She won't let the children restrict her, because she'll probably have too many projects going constantly to smother them with over-protectiveness. They'll imitate her independence and benefit by it. If anyone asks her how much time she spends with them, she'll probably answer, "In our family, it's not a matter of how much time. It's a matter of how much love." And she'll be right. The children may not always obey her, because she's inclined to be emphatic one day, then melt and give in the next, but the youngsters will love their long talks with her. Her imagination will match theirs, and they'll amuse each other. She'll probably be a permissive mother, but she'll worry about scholastic averages, and she'll probably insist on good grades. They won't get by without doing their homework if she can help it, although they may get by without hanging up their clothes.

Totally agree on this!

Wife Number Five will be a beautiful hostess, an expert at the whole candlelight, flowers and sterling silver routine. You can bring anyone, from your boss to the Governor home to dinner, and she'll be so gracious and charming, they'll never want to leave. Shell organize her life efficiently and effortlessly, dress like a fashion model and love the theater. You can take her to art galleries and concerts- she'll be right at home in any kind of society. Everyone will stare at you enviously and wonder who the glamorous woman is who hangs on your arm so sweetly. She'll be romantic and ultra-feminine, maybe even write you a poem for your birthday. You'll want to buy her velvet dressing gowns and expensive perfumes, because her gracious style will make you feel like a country squire. If you mention a trip to Europe, her eyes will sparkle. She's a sophisticate.

Well, there you are. I may have missed a few girls in your Gemini harem. Every husband in town will be green with envy when they see you with a different woman every day. If they ask you how you get away with it, play it cool. Polygamy is against the law, you know.

Your Gemini woman will never take a train when she can fly. She'll never be silent when she can speak. She'll never turn away when she can help. And she'll never walk when she can run. Her mind is full of so many thoughts and her heart is full of so many hopes, she may seem to need a computer to sort it all out. Or does she just need someone who can run beside her and toss dreams with her-from here to tomorrow? If you're that man, she doesn't dare look over her shoulder to see if you're near. Some deep, unexplained fear within her keeps her from ever looking back. When you finally match her speed, get her to slow down to your pace. You can do it, if you hold her hand tightly and never let it go. Though Mercurial north winds drive her on, secretly she may long to rest awhile more than you know. Do hurry and try to reach her. She needs you.

¡¡

¡¡

¡¡

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Who wanna get drunk with me?!?! : D

Things to do.

1. 4 chapters in 1 day.
2. 500 pages in 2.5 days.

3. GETDRUNKGETDRUNKGETDRUNK.

LY, XH, whoever, i dont care.
GU YOU LONG on 11 NOV!!!
What the fuck is emotions?
Should it be this way?
Why am I so easily........?!

Dont let it happen again.
But I just might ___.
So I'd better ___ ___.
SIGH!
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Halloween night

We didnt dress up but we did enjoyed HALLOWEEN!
An impromtu decision to party!

Welcome our SG Jack Sparrow!