HEN XING GU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mom: "Dont landed yourself in IMH."
Fuck no fuck no fuck no fuck no fuck no.
Stop talking to me

HEN XING GUUUUUUUUUUU
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I WANT A JOB.

Life's no good without a dedication.

YINGTING! Tempted me for Fish and Co. And omg, the portion is so huge! The waiter is cute. I wanna work there =[! But its so embarassing to ask after dining there.
I used to be able to finish that kind of portion. ;] But now, wasting food means nothing to me only because its gonna be out as soon as I zoomed into the Ladies. Tho I felt most of it are out, IM STILL GONNA WORK IT OUT.

We shopped around AMK hub and I craved for the Milk Ice thing. But, the auntie said the delivery man is not here yet and they have no stock. She want me to leave my number and she will call when the stocks have arrived. I bought the Milk Ice soon after a while. She didnt noticed.
We were on the train already, the auntie texted me this.
"小姐﹐你的Milk Ice 來了"
And you all know, I suck at Chinese. YT WAS TRYING TO FOOL ME! She insisted that I typed the word "Auntie" in Chinese. I didnt know there is and she insisted there is.
And so, I was a fool. I typed,
"安提﹐ 我已經買了."
I think that women is gonna be effin MAD. SI YING TING!


Picture taken when YT is SHITTING.


This is the pic where YT scream in disgust and agony. Because I took pictures wherever I go. NYAH.





Shes trying to act retarded.











I like you, im attracted to you. Do you like me too?
Or are you just another fraud. Are you just another pimp?

My darkest hour - Scary kids scaring kids
Lates.
P.S Lets get wasted TONIGHT!

Ocean avenue.

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THIS SONG?!

IF I COULD FIND YOU NOW THINGS COULD GET BETTER
WE COULD LEAVE THIS TOWN AND RUN FOREVER
LET THE WAVES CRASH DOWN AND TAKE ME AWAY! <3

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love... But mostly you're looking for fun. You could get serious with the right person. For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships. It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. You have a hard time ending relationships, even if the other person says it's over.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

You Are 68% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Err WH-WHAT? Your kidding me jees.

MAN, I need a companion to get wasted with. I need to job to get wasted.
Im hating every minute of sobriety! ;x

PMS

My PMS includes,

.Mood-related symptoms: depression, anger, irritability
.Decreased concentration
.Insomnia
.Food cravings [I hate this one the most]
.Clumsiness

I dont have cramps. Is that a good thing?
I got a question girls, how long does the PMS last? After the menses is over?
Im sorry if im being too open in my blog. You know im damn straight.

-

"Professional wrestling superstar Chris Benoit killed his wife and 7-year-old son before hanging himself from his weight machine."

From Np.

Im more dedicated to my notepad than the blog now. That leaves my blog with nothing to read.

I used the paint my nails dark red, now I paint it bright.
I hope it'd stay bright all the time.
It was there to remind myself every single day, what exactly am I working for and why am I working for. To prompt myself everyday to do what I set out to.

The route to sucess consists of consistency and persistency.
My individual attributes cancel both of them out. =/

Its rather appalling to have negative thoughts in my mind again. I was only happy for two weeks.

The weight control thing is really getting to my head.

How would you react when someone popped the big question, "Will you marry me?"

Would you please kiss me with your eyes closed?
If im just bad news, then your a liar. If you could slit my throat, with one last breathe I apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

It seems that I am falling back again. Wtf is this. Manic episode? Eff that.
And no i wont let myself fall right back to the start. I had already come this far.
Come on Trish.

How to deal when I give up almost immediately.
How do I deal with my great ambitions that I hold.

Boobs.

There is really something I need to say.

Me: "Everyone love my boobs."
Xy: "Everyone love free stuffs."

We were eating at some Hong Kong resto. The manager himself, served us personally.
He took our order, and plain water there costs 40 cents each. He said, "Its okay, the water is on the house." After our dinner, he gave us a 10% discount on our bill.
I WONDER WHY. *Chuckles*

Fall away - The fray
Night.
P.S I dont wanna work tomorrow.
P.P.S GAWD DAMN! Im having constipation. EVACUATE EVACUATE.

Uncle Kenneth.

Yesterday was a sin. Today is the punishment. No food for today.

Yesterday night, Uncle Kenneth called. I told my mom to tell him that I have made improvements! I was really glad to let him know that.

Letter from Uncle Kenneth.

Hallo Ah mei, how are you? Hope you are coping well.

I heard you are starting your work on Monday. It is a very good start. You have improved compared to a month back. That is excellent progress!

Remember to hang on to your job. Your development points are leading yourself and improving your socila skills.

In 3 month's time, you should be taking your N levels. Pass it so that you can take your O levels. These set the foundation for you to take you CAT (Certfied Accounting Technician). The good school offering CAT is FTC Kaplan. Check out the weblink http://www.ftckaplan.com.sg/

I have given the same advice to your sister. You can study alongside with her when she takes her ACCA classes.

I am taking my CFA (Certfied Financial Analyst) exam in Dec. If you pass your N level this year, let me know. I will send you a box of chocolate.

Take care and best of luck.

Cheers.

Ken

The ground folds - Senses fail
Later.
P.S Im just enjoying whatever that comes my way now. I do not ask for more.

They are just so appalling. Even the finest one varies like a fortune wheel taking its turn.

-6 days.

That hoe.

What woke me up this morning.
Hokkien: "AH MEI AR! Le eh ka ching hor lang kgua eh ar?!"
English: "GIRL! Is your ass for show?!"
My mom laughed. My granny laughed.
To that, I woke up laughing.
Now why would my granny say that? I didnt bath yesterday after drinking and slept with my dress on. In the morning, the dress was up all the way to my face.


Its pretty obvious that im the one with the most dorky faces.

Are we legal yet? YES WE ARE!




Now what the hell was I doing?



I wished it was weeds.



The camwhores.



I TOLD YOU I NEED A TEETHWHITENING! Eff the smoking stains.



Cant see.



Cant see.



Cant see.

The euphoria I derived from being anti-sobriety is gonna cost me.

Yesterday was hell loads of fun!
So, the girls was left with Michelle, XH and me, apart from the XY's group.
A WHOLE LOTS of guys were added in. They were all XH's friends. I mean it was fun tho I dont know them. There were like 11 including us?
I was going from table to table! XY's table was so far away from us. Another reason, to get more Chivas from XY. HAHA. And I thought I drank alot.
And there were cute guys.
Michelle, me, Guy #2, cute guy #1 took the same cab home.
I was getting no comfort with the rocky ride. The spinning in my head was getting out of control.
Cute guy #1's arm were across me at the door. I hugged his arms. The spinning stops. LOL.
Cute guy #1 sent me home. YAY.

Bai.
P.S And now, I am thinking, why am I left with only two sticks of ciggie? WHO STOLE MY CIGGIE!
P.P.S SOMEONE STOLE MY "RICOLA" BOX. Ffff.

Me: I dreamt of bliging on food with chilli. I dreamt of people telling me fat in my dreams. I dreamt of a song and I kept humming it after I woke up. (Its the song on my blog now)
Mom: I means your subconsious is telling you your hungry. *Laughs*

*?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!*

Ya my mom laughed. She kept laughing.

Getting better from depression was like that. Missing dimensions popped back up. Plain old normal days tasted crisp and delicious. And then there were the bittersweet replays, when I traveled through the previous months and years, and counted all I’d misheard, misfelt, and missed. Depression isn’t noble or interesting; it’s monotonous, self-absorbed misery that leaves little room for art or kindness or other people.

I’m back, I wanted to shout last spring, that hunched crone was a changeling, not me! I wanted to learn how to get better without running from the site of misery; how to return to people who hadn’t realized I’d been away. I would have liked some scars to point to, to explain my absence. It was shocking, in a way, this drug-borne proof that I’m an animal, washed with chemical tides, turning seasons, light, and food into moods. When you reduce my suffering to a curable disease; to symptoms, postures, and intonations, I’m no longer especially special. All those causes for my sadness fluttered down like snotty Kleenex.

It’s been more than a year since I got sick, and months since I got better. Every day I think of the scientists who mashed up rat brains to create the drugs that brought me back to life, and I’m grateful. And I wish more people could shuck that hollow shell.

The nasty transaction.

SHOPPING SPREE!

1 top from WAREHOUSE - $89.00
1 pair of heels from PRIMAVERA - $49.00
3 dresses from MANGO - $91.00

So happy! *Smile smile smile*
Okay, MANGO was fucking crowded. I bought two dresses with the same design but different colour. WHAT?! Booya. This is what I call impulsive buying. JUST BECAUSE the crowd is too huge. It gave me a feeling of "there is no time left". When I came out of MANGO, I heaved a huge sigh and said,"That was so much fun."
And yes, squeezing with a bunch of girlies, desperately trying to grab something, anything. Cause, ITS THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALES! GEES.

And I saw an awesome white dress from WAREHOUSE. I didnt get that tho I could have.
=[ its $112. After five hours, im still telling myself, "Get out of my mind, fucking white dress."

We drove to Geylang to have TimSum! Cant forget the prawn rolls thingy.
And theres nothing I could do but to let it stay in my stomach. Tomorrow I have to compensate my SINS! No food and jog my ass off. Self control girl.

Nyah my collections of heels.








Nights.
P.S WHITE DRESS! CRYS.

To the end?

Har har. I call it Karma.
The only place im escaping from, comes all the way back to me in the end.
Appointed examination centre: Si Ling Secondary School.
Eff. How scary is that.

The second place I have been avoiding all my life, still, returns to the beginning.
It really felt that my life evolves around Hougang. Eventually, I still make it there.

My mom told me, she had noticed the changes.
To that, im good. Im fine. Just the hear one person tell me that.
Assurance.

I can tell - Saosin
Morning.
P.S My piece of advise, Kwang. Seek professional help from a psychiatrist. I know your confused. This is my sincere piece of word.

GOD I WANNA GO SHOPPING DAMNIT.

54.

I want to......... laugh, at how easy to the familiar ranting of "Oh i wanna lose weight but it wont go awaaayyyeeee!"
HAHAHA down to 54 in less than a WEEK. Im so proud proud proud of myself. Something to live for everyday.

Bought a $30 contacts. I AM SO MAD at myself for listening to the salesperson. Its not like im indecisive, its just because of her effort and so i bought it. Simple but FOOLISH. This is so maddening.

Today was a productive day. Thats all I can blog.

Rooftop - Lost prophets
Chaw.
P.S Everyone I come across, take me as a fucking ride.
P.P.S I still wanna laugh about how easy it is to lose weight. Go away flabs.

w880i

My sis just bought a W880i. Althought I didnt really like it but I still feel happy for her.
Just sitting here, sipping on Earl's grey tea, listening to my playlist, I feel somewhat satisfying. Its cool, lifes good.

And they call this tragedy - Alesana
Nights.