Every rose has its thorn.

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart in side

Was it something I said
Or something I did
Did my words not come out right?

Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why the say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like very cowboy sings a sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn, yeah it does

I know I could've saved our love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of making love... we both made our separate ways

And now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife

Black stone.

FINALLY! The long last wait. I shitted. Ahh, the feeling of satisfactory total evacuation. It was hard and strenuous tho, you can see my veins popping out from my neck as every hard-rock stone falls with a hydraulic plop into where it supposed to be. Okay, I will stop to prevent anyone from stomach upsets.

Couldnt blog more. My mood for the week = apathy.

U2 - With or without you
Chaw.
P.S I almost cry shitting.

Im still not over this "Iattraction" yet!

Yet again.

Sometimes, I dont know if I should even trust you. Sometimes, I just dont care. For a reason. I dont want to be the one trying so hard. I had always been the one trying so hard in the past. In the end, it doesnt really matter at all any more.
I hate my facade I displayed. And I felt crushed.

Unintelligent entry.

My mom was glad we spent time together, even if its at a food court and not some high-end restaurant. Chatted about Dad, life, me, her, Justin and stuffs over the deserts. Im happy that shes happy.

Its been a wearing and fun day! The whole day was all about laughters. At any point of times, I get stomach cramps from laughing too hard. The stupid things we did to bring laughters. People might say that we are childish but they just dont know how to have fun. Its good to be young, its great to feel young. And I will not miss out what I have to do for my age. Its all about how, what we do to create happiness, joy and fun. This is my teens life. Do not let me miss it.

Bought another SHOE! ME LOVE! It was alright tho, I saw a better one. >_>

Yu Jia is SELF-OBSESSED AND NARCISSITIC! And shes getting SHUAI! Love the smell of her HAHA! HER FIRST TIME SHOPPING WITH US! I was like, "WOW, YuJia's coming too?" Hee hee hee.

Gonna miss the nonsense and craps we had.

CLICK TO ENLARGE
More pictures in pending.

Something.

Whats going on with me and my life?

Nothing much. These few days I have been trying to work for a better life. Not trying hard enough I reckon.
I am working towards a better life, a healthier life.
I want a job. I want a hobby. I want a sport. I want an active life. A fancy life. What I picture in my mind, is so beautiful. But what am I doing to gain that?
Nothing.

Every night, I tell myself that I am strong. I tell myself that I do not give up easily. Wake up tomorrow for a good day. Wake up for a better future. Wake up to accomplish many things. Tomorrow is a greater future. I tell myself that, when I wake up, things looked as gloomy as they are yesterday.

I want to see in two years time when I go on to Polytechnic, I will look healthier, prettier, slimmer, full of confident than I am now.
N level is a test for myself and at the same time a test for my mom in me. I want to earn her trust back.

BUT, what did I do to attain that? Nothing. I failed again and again. I did not try hard enough. I am sick of giving up. I am sick of the inconstancy in my life.

Havent used my will, mind power for two years. Surrendering at every temptations every enticement. I think its screwed up and not for usage anymore.
Well, the 'pushing' continues.

Im feeling very emotional and sentimental tonight. I cried for the most particular thing. Weird. But theres something I've learnt to appreciate.

All I need - Mat Kearney
Lates.
P.S Justin, thank you for being there and encouraging me. You brought light and laughters to my life. You are all I see, I love you! :) Dont worry just yet, I WILL reach Poly. I hope you will be 'the constant' in my life.

My lovely addiction.

I have learnt of acceptance instead of tolerance.
-
These few days, I've been pushing myself everyday. Pushing myself pushing myself and pushing myself. But thats what many people want to hear. Im getting real tired of it. When can I accomodate to this?

Sleeping is still my biggest enticement. Pushing wont help much, it never fail to allure me into the comfort darkness.

Hereby, I offically agree that slacking is the greatest addiction anyone can get............. ...................................... ................. .............................. .................. ............. .............. ................. ..... asides from music.

Runaway love - Ludacris feat Mary J Blige
Chaw.

What I've done

Cant wait for Linkin park's new single!!

7 + 8 + 8 = 23

This is my 788th post.

"And how about this, for those of you who may now be seeing the number 23 everywhere - "The Number 23," which came out on February 23, is Joel Schumacher's 23rd film project. Is this merely coincidence, or is it something more? "

23

The Number 23 is a good film though the critics said otherwise.

Got god?

I told my mom about the two dreams I had yesterday.

She said, "The first dream is you kill yourself, the second dream is people killing you. That means huh you got no meaning in your life. You find life meaningless. Dream is displayed out subconsiously. Thats why I said you need spiritual guidance. Be it Christianity, Taoism, Buddism or whatsoever, treat it as a subject if you dont want to believe in God. Treat it as a subject....."

"To debate on?" I interrupted. "Debate on the piece of unreliable evidence."

"Well religious is not all about believing in God. You can disapprove of everything they teach and still go to church."

"HAHAHAHA this is funny. What is baptism?"

"I dont know, go through a process and your name will be registered under God and you will be his children. Something like that. And your every month's salary, 1% or 3% will be donated."

I winced in disgust at the words 'God's children'.

"............." I rolled my eyes. "Gees"

"I got a friend, he told me that he donated his money willingly and he strongly believes in God. Cause he said, hes prayers had been answered several times."

"But sadly mine has not been answered once."

"He has devotion and lots of faith. You dont believe in God aye, so you believe in yourself?"

"Errrrrrrrrr, I dont believe in God and I dont believe in myself either. Nothing. Whatever happens in life, you have to be responsible to it, not God. Whatever good things that happen in life, praise yourself, not God. Its stupid, the whole god thing."

-

I need to improve on my verbal literacy. I stutter when speaking, I cant express myself verbally. I seem to have bad english usage when speaking.

LINKIN PARK IS NOT DEAD! WOOOOOOORAY!

No Vitamin C in Ribena.

Glad im not a huge fan of Ribena.

"Why does your eyes looks so tired?" Mom asked.
"Dont know."
"But you sleep so much!"
"Yea..."
"It look so lifeless, like you got no life."
"Okay Mom enough." >.>
"You should do volunteer work."

The MV of Nelly Furtado - Say it right, the man in the MV, some of his features, look like someone I once loved.

I left the books all alone.

Will power and self-discipline help us to choose our behavior and reactions instead of being their slaves.

Everyone is constantly confronted and tempted by an endless stream of desires and temptations, many of which are not really important or desirable. By learning to refuse to satisfy all of them, you get stronger.

Overcome your laziness. Convince yourself of the importance of what is to be done. Convince your mind that you gain inner strength when you act and do things, in spite of laziness, reluctancy or senseless inner resistance.

Lack of self discipline is a source of low self esteem.

-

I failed again. Failed to study again. I cant push myself.

9 crimes - Damien Rice
Deuce.

Uhh. The judge, Ashraf Safdar from The Arena is HAWT AND SECKSI! He reminds me of Ramsese ha.

I AM SO FUCKEN MAD WITH MYSELF.
When was the last time I told myself not to sleep in the afternoon again?
Before I slept in the afternoon.

Whats the matter with me?
Thats why I said, I need to get out of here to study. Man, I NEED A JOB.

Trish you suck ass.
Bai.

My rock season is out. Listening aimlessly at the moment.
90.5FM WBER Rochester NYC, Alternative, indie.

The comfort of my home makes me procrastinate. I have to be out to study. =[
What does running in dreams mean?

Rock season's out for me.

My verbal literacy isnt proportional to my writing literacy.... ?

Currently reading - Is there a creator?

Eh, I seen Avril Lavigne's MV on MTV a few nights ago. Its like singing to a kiddy pop song and playing punk in the MV. She still sucks.

But your just so damn sexy.

Betty's sister said this, "First impression thats all I've got. So if I dont flirt with the boys and joke with the girls, they will realise theres not much behind the tight jeans and the low cut top."
It's so refreshing.

"Cause you're so damn sexy when your mad"

Its hard not to think about you when I've got all these songs playing on my playlist.

Damn photobucket being a bitch. Only got one picture uploaded.

Disjointed piece.

After reading through some of my posts, I realised that not every one of my posts are grammatically coherent. X_X

Paya lebar MRT station.

I inhale the last puff of the sweet cancer and flick the ciggarette on to the grass. I watch it burns, disintergrating it into crump of ashes. Oh sweet, I have to stand here for an indefinate time until he arrive. My eyes wander around the station, watching people rushing in and out, to some destination not that I know of. Are they rushing to attend an important appointment? Are they rushing to meet their new date?

A toddler in a yellow dress and purple shoes caught my attention. She looks so cute! It wasnt her looks that made her cute, it was her dressing! She really look like a sunflower. The all bright-in-power sunflower, with a purple shoe. And believe me, her dress is way too big for her. Just by looking at her dress, I saw an image of the olden Dutch or British ladies, with long puffy-blown-up dress. My eyes traverses in search of her parents. Ah, that explains why that toddler was dressed up that way. Her mom looks like one of those Indonesia maid, eating on a cup of jelly as she watches her daughter. Her Dad was wearing a white tee and a bermuda that is way too 'young' for him. His hair looks like the unoriginal version of Bob Marley and it was so unkempt. I can almost imagine his hair with hair brushes sticking out of it.

My eyes wander across the station. A guy in an old fashion gangsta wannabe, stood there. He looks like he is waiting for someone too. Hes hair looks like he poured the whole bin of gel onto his head. His head reflected every light that sink onto it, its so SHINY. I can probably reflect my own image on it. Whats more, its combed in center-parting. He wore some kind of wrist band and neck chains brought from X-craft, which is totally over. My line of sight is interrupted by three teenage girls, chit-chating and laughing away as they walked out of the station.

I dont feel like writing anymore.

*

J brought me to Katong, ate chicken rice, went to Parkway parade. Weeee done some shoppings. Went to East coast. Ran in the rain, went to his friend house, watch bloody soccer, went for breakfast, went home, worn out.

*

The ambiance I created from what the surrounding gave at the East coast was interesting. The sudden strong wind, the leaves rustling loudly, the kids crying, kids running across, the tide rises rapidly. It almost felt like a deja vu. I got a sudden surge to feel great trepidation of what will be happening. I looked up in the sky, I almost saw a billion pair of eyes looking down at me.

*

When we were at the prata house, eating prata, I saw something in him which I never seen before. I dont really know how to put it down into words. I will just end here.

Lost prophets - Last summer
Laters.
P.S The beautiful life. Cant forget that book.

Cockroach invasion!

"CATCH IT CATCH IT!" I bellow, horror leeching into my voice.

"Im trying to." My Dad deadpan.

The cockroach flew out of the way as my Dad's hand descend on it. I look at the cockroach in terror as it hover towards me. I notice the tongue of the cockroach sticking out as it flew. Weird I didnt know cockroach had such a HUGE tongue.

"I give up." My dad surrender, throwing his hands up in the air. "I cant possibly catch all the cockroach in this house."

"THIS HOUSE IS INFESTED WITH IT! MOM YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING" I chagrin, observing the cockroaches crawling its way into the couch. "PLEASE, buy a new couch!" I squirm uneasily in my seat, refusing to sit back and relax for a second. I inspect with caution around me, making sure no cockroaches came near me. I sit back and relax for a moment.

For a moment, I realised I was in bed, eyes still closed. I was reluctant to open my eyes. The last thing I want to see is a menacing flying cockroach with its ugly black tongue out. I lain in my bed, listening to any signs of evil doings. Its fine. The metal window frame contracts from the coldness of the room. I rolled myself into a ball, I felt cold. Damn, I remembered telling Mom that I dont want to use this blanket anymore. Its too small for me, now I have to freeze my ass off every night. Great. I felt the smoothness of my bed and my body. My skin becoming sensitive to any touch of the evilness. Its fine. I opened my eyes. Crap, I dreamt of cockroaches? Then bed squeaked under me when I shifted my body on the bed.

Im no good in interpreting dreams. Something about my fears? I listened to my Granny's footsteps outside the room.
When people regret, they learn something. How many times do I have to regret to finally learn something? Okay now, lets just see how this goes. Where will it take me. I doubt. No where far I reckon. This is no good, I cant sleep anymore. I picked up my cell, 4.30am. I thought about studying every single fucking day. Thinking about it is easy. When your actually doing it, god forbids its a torture. I sighed. Tossed and turned, trying to get some sleep. "When your 50, are you still struggling with your N levels?" Mom's voice echoed loudly from my strings of thoughts. I looked at my sis, snoring away soundly. I always wished I was her, ever since I was kid. Now I wonder, did she ever wished she was me?

I watched the door opened, a sillouhette appeared as I dozed back to sleep.