Life is great!
And its already September! <3

Why?
Is nightlife a habit?
Is it a hobby?

Its not the loneliness in me, that keeps me going.
Its the boredom.

Eight months past so fast.
Im over you in a few.
Its amazing how life changes in an instant.
Its even more amazing that most stay stagnant.
But the truth, single people changes the most.
And me, always love changes and unstablity.

I got so much I want to do, but I only have limited resources.
Sigh.
Does anyone never ever get bored of life?
Because boredom is my weakness.

For comfort, for entertainments.
But never for love.

I rarely have the time nor energy nor focus to do any other commitments right now.
I really wanna start my music grading...

Oh god. I just find him so interesting.
I want him.
I wanna own him.
I want him mine.

Fuck. Im just so obsessed.
Since Day 1.
Come to me Chuck Bass.
You need no other girls.

A letter of tranquillity. I wrote.

To: Nicholas Ooi Jing Wen

I got so much to say to you but I dont know how to start... I know it might be shameless of me to ask for forgiveness the fact that Ive hurt you too much but I hope that some day down the road you would find it in your heart to forgive me.

After 6 months it finally struck me, that your far away now.
I told you about that I regretted because I just had to let you know... not because I want things back the way it was. I just had to let you know. Because I think, for you to know that, you must be happy knowing it. And I dont mind letting you know for its a piece of me. And that I was the one losing something valuable, not you.

And you said I am never satisfied, but your wrong, I find myself couldnt love anyone anymore right now how I tried. No one was near comparable to what we had. Our connection was important to me...

I thought hard and long about it before sending this msg.
I looked back into our good and bads that happened and I smiled.
I sent this msg because of the acceptence of you being gone now.
Because of the acceptence, I had the courage to send it.
You are still the best thing that ever happened in my life.

Now that you are the star in someone else's sky, I shall find my star too. And it might take long years to find someone better than me. Someone who can converse about everything under the sky. Someone who want the same things in life. The shared goals and motive. I wouldnt settle for the second best anymore or just anyone that im curious about like Andrew. Because life has more to it than guys like him.
It would take long years to find someone greater than what we had.

But im not afraid anymore.
You used to give me courage, now, you still do.

Oh and about the last quarrel that we had, im sorry about the harsh language I used. I think its abit of jealousy plus the fact that I felt offended when you talk about your sex life. We used to be close enough to talk about intimate stuffs but at that point of time, we are not anymore.

And I have to say, the tone of this letter, when im writing it, it sounded really peaceful in my mind. Somehow, I think God wanted me to sent this letter... I was praying and this came to mind... Maybe it marks a closure for me, and maybe you too. I hope you feel better after reading this letter.
Lets work hard together for our lives! =)

Oh and listen to this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdtOxwRXmVM

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFTvbcNhEgc

These two artist always have relaxing music.

With love,
your sister,
Trish.

P.S I really hope you can tell me about your O levels results when its out!
P.P.S I dont why I put sister, but because your like a brother to me.

I wanted so much for him to know how I miss him.
And that I couldnt bring myself to love anyone else anymore.
A million words, a million tears, a million regrets couldnt bring him back.
Til the day, I would open up my heart to another guy,
I must stay strong.
I must become a better person.
I must be happy, single.

And he said to stay away.

You, you, you.

Oh god, I miss '08.
I need to either get out of my house or study.
Not none of the above.

Sometimes, when everything was going crazy,
when your lost and confused,
you lost yourself.

You forget who you are and do things that you dont find familiar.
But think about it, theres a positive side.
A side of you that you didnt knew.
That energy you get from wanting to run away from everything.
That energy that keeps you trying out new experience.
I want that energy every single day of my life.
Im not saying I need to feel lost, btw.

P.S I havent been clubbing for sometimes now.
I dont miss clubbing, I miss the clicks!
I will hit the clubs once I feel like it, but right now, im just bored by it. =(

P.P.S And I used to tell him, "I help you save money, so you can spend it on me!" =)

The wound left behind... for the each of us...

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in you i suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day

Then we could
Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word

Irrationally prideless and a 1cent worth of dignity.

If you think I felt threaten, then please wake up.
If you think you caused me tears, your wrong.
And you did brought me laughters and entertainment.
He brought me a thought of how untrustworthy and immature he could be.

The only guy that ever brought me tears was only one, but of course, not the one you've 'loved'.
Its not my fault you got hurt because of what Ive read.
I blamed him not ever you.

So please.

And ya, I have plenty of time on my hands now. =]

What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

and I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution

The thing about moving forward it can means by reaching out, or reaching back.
The start of a new journey can starts on a single step or ends with a single misstep.

Gossip girl made me realised that we brought out the worst in each other.
I had never seen myself on the darker side.
Thinking back, I catch a glimpse of my less than good side and I didnt like it.
I didnt like who I had become and what Ive done.
And that I have done things that I didnt recognise.
We both seems crazy at some period of time.
And I thought I was going crazy.

Guess we have to learn to understand ourselves the hard way.
And what pushes our buttons.
He told me once, that he wasnt like this before.
But indeed this dramatic and turbulent r/s was memorable.
The best relationship of all wasnt free from mistakes.
And that it ended, I couldnt find anyone else like you...

P.S Today, I understood why my mom exert this phrase, "understand a person for a long period of time before making any progression". I really do undertand now. What you see isnt what it seems most of the time. Huge sigh!

HOLIDAYS FEELS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

We went to have organic food yesterday at the farm.
So much herbs!
Did I mention we all look like VILLAGERS!
Just came out from kampong.








Golf was freaking awesome. =)




This really feels like the holidays.
Doing different things everyday!
I feel so healthy now.
Golf in the morning, study and guitar in the evening/night.

Lovin life!

P.S I hate to stay stagnant.

Today we had an excursion.
Been to almost all the farms in CCK.
But all the most, I love farmart!
THE PARROT!!!
THE LOVEBIRDS! I WANNA GET ONE!
From there, we went kite flying and then to Lacasa to swim.
I WAS FORCED.

My goal for this year:
1. Get the sponsorship.
2. Psycho my mom to have a little parrot at home.
3. To ask myself at the end of December, whether I was able to forget him.
4. Have fun!


P.S Gonna be out for golf-ing TOMORROW!




Oh! And I feel like getting Sarah Harding's hair!
Should I or should I not?
My dilemma is my huge wide face.

How immature can people get?
Emotions get the better of them.
Get OVER it.

There's a reason why is it called the world wide web.
I bet you can't do any better in rl either.
Such arrogance.

When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...