Enough is enough.

Please.
Your not the only one going through this break up.
Deal with your own emotions.

There is no right and wrong in relationships.
But I do admit my faults.

Having your friend msging me.
Confirmed my decision to let you go.

Dont I feel miserable too?
I beg God to make life easier for you.

We drag on for too long.
And we ended with contempt.
Its not what I wanted, not what you wanted either.

Our memory was once.
For me to keep.
It was good. It was great.

But we have to move on.

I love you.
But love itself doesnt keeps a relationship going.
I think you should know that too well.

And I want to just remember your smiles.

I just heard a tragic news from my sister that happened to her colleague.
We should be complacent with what we have now.
We are blissful compared to her colleague.
Life is that scary and real.

Leave it all
The fights and all
Summers getting colder
Drive all night to hold you tight
Back to California
Days went by
We waited and I guess we are getting older
We couldnt win in the end

These two years had no doubt been one of my happiest.
You gave me happiness.
I will never forget that.
I do more harm than good.
I caused more pain and hurt.
I have no rights to make you stay.
Honestly, I knew I lost you that night.
Tho I cant remember 50% of the night.

If you want to know why I flaunt my single status around,
its because I hate the fact that we are having this issue.
And I want you to hate it too.
Do I get over friendly with guys when im with you?
I guess this time, I went over the limits.
Too much.

Theres just too much issues and mistakes between us.
It might be easier to just end it.
I get how you feel.

Time can heal us.
Remorse and regrets,
I have to deal with that myself.
You changed me and I wont denied that.
Mistakes we both made, we will learn.
This time, I have lost.

I still love you and misses you.
I have to thank you for everything.
And im sorry for everything.

Spread your wings and fly.
Hope to see you up there someday.

My prelims are coming but my mind is stuck on something else.
Argh. This year is just torturing.
Its gonna be hard.
Shit happens for a reason.

I lost your heart but I gain a lesson.
An important one that will follow me through life.

Dont ever lose that cheeky smile of yours!

P.S I still hope to hear those from you.
I would never get a closure, hearing it from someone else.

Im probably the baddest person around.
You should hate me.

Tonight's gonna be a good night?
Nah FML.

I think Janice's right.
Im single.
Theres only black and white.
Theres no grey.
Hopes and wishes doesnt solve things.
She's right.
We both have to face the reality that,
We are fucking single.

Im fucking single...
Sigh.

Buttttttt.
Im not gonna say the night is that baddd.
Cause I did enjoyed myself!
What an awesome clique!
;D

Days like these demoralised me.
Days like these I dread.

I suck at discipline!
And I suck at time managing.
I have to study.
I have to jog.
I have to wake up early and sleep early.
This is what I tell myself.

But I never done any of that.
I HATE MY SLEEPING HOURS.

But I never done anything to change it.
Honestly I have tried.
I still fall back to the bad sleeping patterns.

And clubbing kakis getting back to the norm.
Means, getting lesser and lesser people wanting to club.

I have to go out to look for MOOORE!
Heh heh. Equals, I have to club often to find more kakis!
Wooo.

I have to get my energy somewhere,
and I chose clubbing for that energy source.

-

Oh and I love the Ion's top floor's supermarket.
Its glamourous, for a housewife.

Since the day, I still havent truely felt single.
Are we meant to be attached so strongly together?
That even we broke up, I still take you as someone significant in my life.

Its only because we havent truely let go yet.

I still feel unfair for myself.
You can have the freedom you yearn for.
Yet, I couldnt.

I look so skanky here. LOL.

Baby set me free from this misery
I cant take it no more
Since you went away nothings been the same
Dont know what Im living for
Here I am so alone
And theres nothing in this world I can do

Chorus
Until youre back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until youre back here baby yeah
Theres a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I cant let you go

So I told you lies even made you cry
Baby I was so wrong
Girl I promise you now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs
Cos here I am so alone
And theres nothing in this world I can do

And I wonder, are you thinking of me
Cos Im thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?
Cos here I am so alone
And theres nothing in this world I can do

Damn blogger. I cant upload my pictures here!


I love this picture.
Sexay me.
Looks so pure, so decent.
Just right for my kind of girrrl.
Hei hei.




Sweaty us!
Another fun clique.
Ya hoo!

I miss my guy...
My man.

Its a raining day...
And im feeling kind of dejected, and lonely.
Maybe its the song.

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

This will be etched into my memory, for life.
Just like you.
All the best to us and our future. Jia you!
=)

The only way to get out is through it.
I realised escaping from my feelings doesnt help.
The only way to feel peaceful is to acknownledge its presence.
I accept this sometimes harsh reality.

This is the first time I felt so free to do whatever
I want while having fun without anything in mind.
=D happy! Wednesday ya!
I vant my pictures.

No its not better this way.
I spent the whole day having a good thought about things.
You gave me a chance to apologise.
I was thinking if I wanted this chance.
And I thought that even if you gave me this chance now, I dont know whether if I even wanted this chance.
I was determine that yesterday was just an adrenaline rush to get you back for the sake of it.
The whole day I was sure its just a rush and not for love.

You told me to write lovely things.
I went back and I just couldnt.
When I thought of you and us, all I thought was anguish, pain, resentment and hurt.
I didnt know how. I dont know how to love. I just saw contempt.
When we spoke yesterday, I so much wanted to just run away into the arms of another.
To run away from you. This relationship is too much for me to take.

But when I look at your friendster profile picture, I remember how I fell for you.
I remembered why I fell for you.
I remember why I wanted to give my all. Too much I guess.
I said I missed sexing the clubs, what I really miss is sexing you in the club.
I dont know if this choice is right, but I decided to make this another try.
This time we have to make it right.

To forgive or not, is really up to you.
Til then, I wont bother you.

It is probably better that things turned out this way...

The crossroads

Do you believe in past life?
In soulmates, fate and destiny?

I never thought I would but after I met him some years ago.
The word soulmate instinctively appeared.

Our paths met.
Our yearning, our desire.
The mysterious guy.

We past each other today.
The overwhelming rush and feelings.
Its almost magical.
Something I couldnt put it in words.
I felt I've known him all my life.

5 seconds after we past,
he and I turned for one last glance behind our backs before we continued with our lives.
Without each other.

After his fated appearance,
I felt rejuvenated.
Spiritually healed and emotionally healed.
I felt... unusually, complete.

I wonder if he felt the same way I did some years ago.
If not, why would he turned?

Okay I admit, I was embarrassed when I turned and saw him turning.
This whole post is rather corny but it just felt so real.
So surreal..

P.S At least grant me one more time this year.
I would make the best out of it, if I dont get nervous.
He's the first I felt nervous over.

A coincidence or what?
Few days after I puked for no reason, now its his turn to puke.

Who says Gin Tonic is disgusting? hmhp!
Days get easier, and its really working.
Im suprised how easy it seems.
Im beginning to doubt my ability to sense his presence.

Right now I have to regain my own interest back.
My guitar is fading. My life is fading. My joy my interest is fading.
And finally Im starting to see its sillouette once again.
Wahoo!

Im beginning to enjoy what it meant by single once again.
Just like before.

P.S Just give me a weekend day job and a new group of cool friends and im good to go. ;]