Holy

Kaz3RO - Where dream awaits

I had a beautiful dream there, what about you?

Someone translate this song for me! I just know the title is "Thank you".
-
Its a bad month.

He said,"Take care of lil lan."

This distraction leads me off path. Yet again. My books are neglected once again. Eff.

I want a piercing.

Fuck you.

Ever since that night, I kept having the urge to go on RO to look for you.

My existence.

I pray.
All these hidings would not deteriorate the relationship between my Dad and my Mom.
I am truely sorry for all that I cause.
Why have I not do anything to please you?
You are the best parents I ever had.
I am sorry.

Your not alone - Saosin
Bai.
P.S It was my sister that made me realised that Friday the 13th was when I recieved the tragic new in grief.

Black Friday.

So appalling.

Remove it. The 'it' is not anything. Its a part of you, it is something that belongs to you.
"Im not ready" Oh yea thats a totally responsible answer. Look at the situation, do you think its important if your ready or not? You think im ready either? No I am not. We are young adults, wheres the responsiblity.

You said remove it so easily. Of course.
You got NOTHING to face.
I got EVERYTHING to face alone.
You got NOTHING to lose.
I got everything to lose.
I can list down what I have to face, now tell me, what do you have to face?

I repeat, you have nothing to face.

My life is pretty well screwed up. Every year's a bad year. What can I say? "This is a bad year" thats not my word. "This is a bad decade." That my word. God hates me and I hate him too.
Life is already unstable, PLEASE THROW A BOMB UPON ME AGAIN PLEASE SO I CAN FINALLY NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
Bestow death upon me.

And what can you do for me?

The quietness - My house
Chaw.
P.S I hope my Daddy hits me until he kills the liveS. Take my life.

轉角遇到愛

A touching qoute from 轉角遇到愛.

Qing Lang told Xing Lei when shes sleeping.

"Did you really appear in my world?
If so, why did I let you leave my side?
If you didnt, why does my heart hurts so bad?
After you leave, your smell will slowly fades and your face will slowly vanish to a silouette.
I just hope that you can leave something behind to let me know that you are here once."

Ignoramus.

Im sorry that im in love with rock. You dont know me, dont act like you do. I am not an angel.
PLEASE do not say something about things that YOU do not know. You have such shallow knowledge about rock, so why say something like that about rock. WHAT DO YOU KNOW. You dont know rock. Dont act like you do.

"Rock music has its roots in 1950s-era rock and roll and rockabilly.
Rock developed a number of subgenres, such as soft rock, blues rock, post-hardcore, progressive rock, psychedelic rock, screamo and punk rock."

It is subgenres from rock. Of course its rock. Wth are you talking about.

"Singing styles can include relativly standard melodic, harmonious rock-style singing; ragged, usually high-pitched screaming; barked shouting, and whispering.These various singing styles can be used by the same band, and often within the same song, and are typically meant to express strong emotions."

I respect that you do not enjoy rock. I did not force you to listen to them. So please respect that I love rock. Do not make any stupid critics of it in front of me if you dont even listen to them or dont have the least knowledge about them.
You dont even respect me. Is this love? Love me for what I am. Do not love me for what you want me to be. Stop trying to change me.

"Rock is a hybrid, a mix of various musical styles and genres."

Its hard to say - The used [Alternative rock, its rock.]
Bai.
P.S I am afraid and filled with trepidation of what will happen after tomorrow. At certain times, I have to remind myself that guys run away with responsiblity.

Wrapped around your finger.

It feels like I havent been blogging for a long time, though I did left a post everyday still.
I had a dream. Weird thing is I dreamt of him. The one that ruin my self esteem back in sec 2. Well the feeling in the dream was weird.
Dont feel like blogging anymore.

Devil and the deep blue sea behind me,
Vanish into the air, you'll never find me.
I will turn your face to alabaster,
Then your find your servant is your master.

Hypnotized by you if I should linger ,
Staring at the ring around your finger.

Mephistopheles is not your name,
But I know what you're up to just the same.

No, i am not enjoying it.

I am categorize as mentally ill.
Mom told my I got 4 or 5 out of 7 attribute and many other signs could be seen in my daily life.
She find it saddening.

I am entrap in this apocalypse.

Trashed and scattered - Avenged sevenfold
Chaw.
P.S Pull me out?

Im not emo, im just depress.

Something to think about.
Why does 'emo' posers love to add me in friendster?

Be consious.

My mom keep telling me everyday, self-control, be consious of what you are doing. Be consious of the time. Be consious of long have you been on the com.

I woke up late again. I could have slept in the whole afternoon if I didnt had a bad dream. I dreamt of my mom reformat my com and lost ALL the songs. To that, I woke up.

Stars - Simpley red
Laters.

Every rose has its thorn.

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart in side

Was it something I said
Or something I did
Did my words not come out right?

Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why the say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like very cowboy sings a sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn, yeah it does

I know I could've saved our love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of making love... we both made our separate ways

And now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife

Black stone.

FINALLY! The long last wait. I shitted. Ahh, the feeling of satisfactory total evacuation. It was hard and strenuous tho, you can see my veins popping out from my neck as every hard-rock stone falls with a hydraulic plop into where it supposed to be. Okay, I will stop to prevent anyone from stomach upsets.

Couldnt blog more. My mood for the week = apathy.

U2 - With or without you
Chaw.
P.S I almost cry shitting.

Im still not over this "Iattraction" yet!

Yet again.

Sometimes, I dont know if I should even trust you. Sometimes, I just dont care. For a reason. I dont want to be the one trying so hard. I had always been the one trying so hard in the past. In the end, it doesnt really matter at all any more.
I hate my facade I displayed. And I felt crushed.

Unintelligent entry.

My mom was glad we spent time together, even if its at a food court and not some high-end restaurant. Chatted about Dad, life, me, her, Justin and stuffs over the deserts. Im happy that shes happy.

Its been a wearing and fun day! The whole day was all about laughters. At any point of times, I get stomach cramps from laughing too hard. The stupid things we did to bring laughters. People might say that we are childish but they just dont know how to have fun. Its good to be young, its great to feel young. And I will not miss out what I have to do for my age. Its all about how, what we do to create happiness, joy and fun. This is my teens life. Do not let me miss it.

Bought another SHOE! ME LOVE! It was alright tho, I saw a better one. >_>

Yu Jia is SELF-OBSESSED AND NARCISSITIC! And shes getting SHUAI! Love the smell of her HAHA! HER FIRST TIME SHOPPING WITH US! I was like, "WOW, YuJia's coming too?" Hee hee hee.

Gonna miss the nonsense and craps we had.

CLICK TO ENLARGE
More pictures in pending.

Something.

Whats going on with me and my life?

Nothing much. These few days I have been trying to work for a better life. Not trying hard enough I reckon.
I am working towards a better life, a healthier life.
I want a job. I want a hobby. I want a sport. I want an active life. A fancy life. What I picture in my mind, is so beautiful. But what am I doing to gain that?
Nothing.

Every night, I tell myself that I am strong. I tell myself that I do not give up easily. Wake up tomorrow for a good day. Wake up for a better future. Wake up to accomplish many things. Tomorrow is a greater future. I tell myself that, when I wake up, things looked as gloomy as they are yesterday.

I want to see in two years time when I go on to Polytechnic, I will look healthier, prettier, slimmer, full of confident than I am now.
N level is a test for myself and at the same time a test for my mom in me. I want to earn her trust back.

BUT, what did I do to attain that? Nothing. I failed again and again. I did not try hard enough. I am sick of giving up. I am sick of the inconstancy in my life.

Havent used my will, mind power for two years. Surrendering at every temptations every enticement. I think its screwed up and not for usage anymore.
Well, the 'pushing' continues.

Im feeling very emotional and sentimental tonight. I cried for the most particular thing. Weird. But theres something I've learnt to appreciate.

All I need - Mat Kearney
Lates.
P.S Justin, thank you for being there and encouraging me. You brought light and laughters to my life. You are all I see, I love you! :) Dont worry just yet, I WILL reach Poly. I hope you will be 'the constant' in my life.

My lovely addiction.

I have learnt of acceptance instead of tolerance.
-
These few days, I've been pushing myself everyday. Pushing myself pushing myself and pushing myself. But thats what many people want to hear. Im getting real tired of it. When can I accomodate to this?

Sleeping is still my biggest enticement. Pushing wont help much, it never fail to allure me into the comfort darkness.

Hereby, I offically agree that slacking is the greatest addiction anyone can get............. ...................................... ................. .............................. .................. ............. .............. ................. ..... asides from music.

Runaway love - Ludacris feat Mary J Blige
Chaw.