Paradiz.

Today was a funny day.
Went town with YT, PY and LY.
I shall only mention the incidents where we laughed til our stomach ache.
We went into Watson. The girls was shopping for cosmetics.
Yt was playing with the cosmetics. She used the liquid eyeliner to draw her little tattoo that she used to draw in class. A boy on the left a girl on the right hand.
She couldnt so she asked me to help her to draw the girl. I dont know why, but it ended up as a chick. And I dont know why we had a good serious laugh.
And she forced a chicken on my hand. This is the result.




My chicken she drew looks more like a bat.
At the end of the day, we went to get some tou hua.
We were having a convo. At the end of that convo, YT finished talking so we were like just looking at her. And just when we were about to turn away, she took out a Banana. THAT WAS JUST SOOO RANDOM. We laughed for a good five minutes.




We continued our convo after the laugh. And then that incident whereby I banged myself against the wall-like-curtains by the fear of cockroaches was mentioned. We laughed all the way from the shop, across paradiz. People who dont know about that incident can ask me. You can ask me how I looked right into the guy's eyes and bang myself against the curtains. I'll be glad to play back the scene.

P.S I saw the Xiao Yuan Superstar the youngest guy!
HE SMILE AT ME SO CUTE!
If I were to get his autograph and he were to ask, which episode do I like most,
I would be totally clueless.

P.P.S Work tomorrow. CRYS. But Im broke. I have no new year's clothings.
What a sad world.

P.P.P.S No guitar lesson till 22th. Thats another sad thing.

EDIT: My sister just made me laugh again. If you did watched the youtube video I posted earlier on, you would realised Envy were swaying or head-banging or whatever.
And my sister told me she was watching the video and listening to the music and she said she didnt realise her head was swaying in circles all the while. LOL. But she said the music was great. Well thats not the main point. The point IS she watched them swayed til her head swayed in circles. Okay my english is deteriorating.

NOISECORPORATION

For all you screamo fans.
www.noisecorporation.blogspot.com
It has all the albums your looking for.
Mind you, you dont find this anywhere.
Go!
As for me, I shall embrace the page and the music my ways.
Mass downloading! <3

P.S I never really thought of "As The Roots Undo" as a concept album until someone mentioned it. Something about a start of a journey which ends up at the beginning with a tragedy.

By MB.
A lot of people argue on whether or not the album is a concept album. The people that think it is, think its a very deep album about religion, suicide and then the murder of god.

To go more in-depth on that, the song "intro" is about the birth of thought in the head of a man. Then in "Same Shade as Concrete" this man begins to question religion and the existence of god. In "Crowquill" the man decides to kill himself and pens out his suicide note (a crowquilled threnody). Then in "In The Nervous Light Of Sunday" he jumps out the window, and regrets the whole thing but its too late and he’s dead. "Interview at the Ruins" tells of how the public takes it and all the excitement over his suicide. "Non-Objective Portrait of Karma" the entire opening is about his ascension to heaven, and when he’s get there. He doesn't like what he sees, it’s corrupt and horrible. "Kill the Switch" is about mutiny, and everyone takes out god and the angels and try to achieve of a perfect society the way heaven should be. Heaven needs a leader, and they decide the man should be the leader. "A Crater to Cough In" is similar to the first track, because its the birth of a new god. Overtime he becomes corrupt with power. Another mutiny occurs and he is killed. As he is dying for the second time he is again regretting it again, and is now dead and nothing left of him.

Circle Takes The Square.

A review from DFelon. Thanks.
Circle Takes The Square - As The Roots Undo




Even as you just hold the CD you are in awe. The packaging is up to ludicrous speed. There is an elaborate bird/root motif on the cover that looks like it's made of this crazy shiny, glossy stuff, and then, you open it like a parcel (it seems like the elven bread from Lord of the Rings; you know? those little leaf packages they keep their bread in?). You unfold the case to unveil the disc and the lyrics sheet that's attached to the inside. The envelope just sprawls out, which is what the music will do when you put it on.

It is difficult for me to really sum up all the Circle Takes the Square is. I feel that they encompass a lot of different feels and ideas while obviously remaining a screamo band. The overall musicianship is intense, spazzy, and tight in all senses. There are only 3 band memebers so their hyper-technical and loud musically style on each instrument creates a stable din. If it was a typical 5-person screamo band, I feel they'd just make a bunch of noise, but Circle Takes the Square can shift from chaotically intense to sparsly attractive in an instant, which all hinges around the band's dynamic. They have a male screamer and a female screamer who interplay and interweave their vocals lines with fluidity and exciting frequency. It's like watching a great rally during a tennis match to hear them go back and forth in the way that's not cloying like some weird rap shout out with call and response. This is more of a peer to peer level than an MC to posse one. The guitar and bass though, overlap completely. There is a sense of integration and working together instead of competing or alternating like the vocals, and considering the almost grind-esque drumming at times, tightness is essential, and Circle Takes the Square really excels there. What I find most exhilirating about this album though is their tendency to use long meandering interludes. Many screamo bands do the long, instrumental section thing but few do it with the tone and atmosphere Circle Takes the Square does. The CD is so baroque and epic that by having these ambient section, they can cut up their songs. It makes the CD play like it has movements instead of a normal modern structure. Circle Takes the Square truly embraces the sense of classical music by incorporating sequences, imitations, key changes, interesting voicings, motifs, and movements to make a truly trascendent CD. Imagine everything that makes classical music intriguing and intense superimposed onto modern screamo with the capacity for genius lyrics, equally emotive vocals, and tight musicianship. This is it. The real deal. Here we go.

Intro
I'm sort of having of whether of not this song actually has a name. My automatic tracklist function assigned it this name but whatever. It's neat. This tracks has a nice, soft, whispered, whistling melody that establishes the first main motif. It's something that we'll hear later on but in a much more intense and driving form. This track is sort of a foreshadowing of melodic ventures in the future and sets the tone a bit. It sounds forced and sputtered and then a chant comes in the background. It's extremely eerie and odd to here these two overlaying sounds and makes everything sound melodic yet ominous. The whistling has a quavering factor to it, which is the way Drew, the guitarist sings often. He lets his voice oscillate and go out of control. Anyway, this is only a prelude and I'm spending too much time on it.
2.5/5

Same Shade As Concrete
[Personally, its one of my favourite track. I hope to put it on repeat but the next song is just as good.]
"Rejoice, rejoice a noble birth!" Indeed. That's how we start it out. Already the lyrics are some of pompous yet also very classical. It reminds me of a more Victorian dialect. This I guess fits it with how florid and pastoral the album art seems. Very antiquated and stuff. I don't know how to describe it. It feels like it could fit into Lord of the Rings somehow. I don't know. Anyway, the song takes off going insane for a long time. There's an alternation of crazy spazz drumming with more beat based stuff but even the beats are delightfully awkward when they come in. I like the guitar that repeats the bass ideas. They sort of follow each other and then spin out in line with the crazy drumming. There are a bunch of cool little leads throughout this song. Then it breaks up into a clean chord weird part. Ooo I hear that little funny wood instrument. Essentially this is the quieter interlude to pull out of the insanity. Still, it's intense and has a lot of interesting arpeggiation going on. Then the song picks up again and reintroduces the clean chords but they're played much faster so as to keep the pace up. Then as soon as we are launched back out, we are brought down to the "Wait in the water" bridge. It starts with basic guitar work and then a lead is added on top of that and the female vocals harmoinze over the male stuff. Guitar adds distortion and embellishes. Then they pull out the octave chords and then the grind beat! Pull it back and introduce a little mechanical hum which is super cool and can be heard through the rest of the song that truly gives it a driving propulsion. They end on the same octave chord progression as earlier but the girl is screaming too and everything is crescendoing so hard it hurts but yet it feels so so good at the same time. Wow. Yes.
5/5

Crowquill
The best lyrics on the album by far. They can be found at www.circletakesthesquare.com and I highly suggest you read them. Also, this can be found on www.hxcmp3.com/bands/1710. The song starts with a cool bass downslide thing with some great drumming. They do a really hard hit on the hats and then close them and do a fast fast beat and repeat. The song explodes again to run all over the fretboard and drum set. It's extremely intense for a bit and then they pull back for spoken word part with really awesome drum accents. This is the height of drumming on the CD if you ask me. So freakin' awesome. Then the intensity picks up in a repeat of the earlier part and then we are sent into a spill out and breakdown of the drums until only screaming and guitar are left. Slowly the drums come back in with a pretty cool danceable beat. The lyrics hear are so genius and catchy and tie in with the song really well. This one part got me hooked on the band and helped me appreicate Drew's voice. At first I felt it abraded too much but it really is awesome once you get used to it. It can really hold a lot of emotion. THe song then picks up again and starts to end with some cool guitar spazzing. It sounds like when you put up the distortion and just let your fingers noodle around as fast as you can even if you can't play all the notes. Good effect. Then the song calms down, giving the listener just a moment to breathe.
5/5

In the Nervous Light of Sunday
This song is a repeat of the one on their EP, but whoa they really made it count didn't they? I find the EP version to be really sloppy and having a more refined version just inks the deal for me. They always had the emotion on this one, they just needed to pull it all together. Oh did they ever. THe song starts with another moneybanks crazy part. The best element is how that they'll go crazy and then have little break periods for everything to recover. In the first one they have a cool guitar riff, then "a woman's work is never done." Then after that they extent the riff to last longer as they sing "as you curse..." The song then has a breakdownish type thing happen. The chords change at a slower rate and then a clean guitar comes out for a bit and then the beat comes back in a really cool fill right back to the intense parts. Then a reprise of "as you curse..." It's funny how it's only 1/3 into the song but already so much has happened. This part is great. There's a straight bass drum note hit as the guitar plays a pretty line and the bass accompanies. The vocals pick up cleanly until Drew picks up the song with one of my favorite pickups into a part where he screams so loudly and emotinally his voice cracks. It's so intense! "All I ever asked/Was for a clean break" is easily one of the most memorable and poignant parts of the CD. It's just one massive hit. Then there's a little more intensity until they interplay between a clean guitar and octave guitar situation and then spill out into the outro. "In the nervous light of Sunday" is the vocal line that breaks everything down as the instruments back off and enter an ambient part at around 5 minutes. This starts the second main movement, which is the fairly ambient and calm section of the album.
4/5

Interview at the Ruins
I don't really like this song. Like it's sort of cool but it's too unmoving for me. They repeat the same instrumental parts while there's this weird ominous spoken track over the top and what sounds like people digging through plastic chips. The song picks up for a bit in the beginning but in general it's just to make it so the song isn't completely static. The best part about it is how it's the reintroduction of the main motif and this time instead of being flute it's on the piano. The voices come in halfway through the song and start talking below the main mix and singing and everything. This goes on for a bit and then the music retracts and the voices are left mostly alone. It sounds like Will Ferrel from Old School when he gets hit in the neck with the dart and everything slows down. Weirdo. The song ends only the vocals singing "As the roots undo"'s reprise.
2.5/5

Non-Objective Portrait of Karma
This song takes a more ambient spin on the instrumental ideas of the previous two songs. There's a lot more droning and tones that aren't really associated with instruments. It's actully freakin' cool. They add a new instrument every so often or a new sound to build the dynamics of the droning part. The beat picks up and then the tempo increases I think. The drumming for sure gets more intense and I dunno. It seems like there's a tempo shift but it's one of those gradual building ones, which are extremely elusive. Props to CTTS I guess then. The whispered vocals are pretty cool. The pickup is fucking amazing too. "I'll sleep through the night" brings the song back up to where it's supposed to be. It's the beginning of the 3rd and final movement as well as one of the most full throttle screamo songs I've ever heard. There's an amazing alternation between the fast grindish beat and the calm smoother beat with the guitar and bass following suit with leads and then chords. And then , as soon as the song picks up, it goes back down. There's a lot of volume and distortion but the song starts to dwindle back down. Then there's only bass. This lull is a nice break from the insanity but in reality it's just getting your prepped for the awesome chant and then scream pickup that finishes off the song. They repeat this choir/band situation for a long time until they song ends and they launch into the final 2 tracks. In the end, they spend too much time building everything up and don't capitalize on the amazing parts while they are.
4/5

The five star prison.

Looking for a all inclusive paid vacation? Kill an Austrian or two!

Moments of Imagination and Nostalgis for Toy. Or w.e.

I work here.

I rarely have time for my guitar. ;(
Sry for the short post. I will end here.



I love them!
Envy feels like a symphonic orchestra at some point.

Its raining cows!

An American couple have survived unscathed after their minivan was crushed - by a falling cow.

Charles and Linda Everson were driving back to their hotel when Michelle, a 600lb rodeo cow, landed on their bonnet.

Amazingly, the beast had fallen 200ft from a cliff.

Chelan County fire chief Arnold Bake said the couple missed being killed by a matter of inches in the accident near Manson in Washington State.

The pair, who were visiting the area to celebrate their first wedding anniversary, were taken to hospital but later released.

Unfortunately, Michelle was not so lucky. She had to be put down.

Mr Everson, 49, said he was in shock as he watched the bovine bounce off his battered bonnet.

He told the Detroit Fee Press: "I'm just glad to be alive. It's raining cows out here, man!"

The chauffeur said he saw something hit his vehicle but amazingly kept on driving for a mile before pulling over.

"Wham! It happened so fast I actually thought it was a deer," he told the paper.

"All of a sudden I'm looking at it, and I tell my wife, 'It's a cow,'" he said.

"I kept saying, 'I don't believe it.' I must have said that 20 or 30 times."

Chelan County Sheriff's Sergeant Mike Harris said the animal was a Professional Bull Rider-registered cow that had escaped its ranch about a month ago.

"It was bred for rodeo," Sgt Harris told the paper. "It was not your normal cow in a field."


Source - Sky News


P.S Ridiculously funny. Car insurance wont cover that. HA.

Twins seperated at birth, met and married.

LONDON (Reuters) - A couple discovered after they had married that they were twins who had been split up at birth and adopted by separate families, according to a member of Britain's House of Lords.

British peer David Alton recounted the story to parliament last month to support his argument that artificially conceived children should be told who their biological parents are.

Alton said he had heard the story of the separated twins from a High Court judge who had dealt with the case.

"This did not involve in vitro fertilization: It involved the normal birth of twins who were separated at birth and adopted by separate parents," said Alton, an independent member of the Lords. "They were never told that they were twins."

"They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation," he said.

"I suspect that it will be a matter of litigation in the future if we do not make information of this kind available to children who have been donor-conceived," he said.

Alton could not immediately be reached for comment and no further information was available about the twins or where they were from.

"I think it's a very tragic story for the people involved," said Pam Hodgkins, head of a group that helps adults affected by adoption.

"It is a lesson that we need to learn and apply to the situation of donor-conceived children," she told Sky News.

"Whilst ... nowadays it would be most unusual for siblings to be separated ... the risk of secrecy affecting the lives of people born as a result of egg and sperm donation is exactly the same as the risks that have affected adopted people in the past," she said.

Okay. A "couple" of pics from Sentosa. I am forced to say such sarcastic remarks like, "Oh! We DID brought a camera. Why didnt I see it in these three days?"

My cutie!



The not so spectacular scenery.













I stole his younger photo. Nyaha.



When I still had my long silky BLACK beautiful hair. CRYS.

MY boyfriend.

Wee u wee!


P.S Nicholas, stop this obsession NOW.

Vacation at Sentosa!

Day 1.

The first day was pretty much tiring. Unpacking, exploring the island and stuffs.
Went to Koufu for my first meal.
Went to book in.
Unpack. Napped.
Went to Underwater World, Dolphin Lagoon.
Ate Sakae Sushi.
Went back to the chalet.
Drink. Slept.

Day 2.
Woke up by my sis's call. Shower, met up with them.
Cycled to Tanjong beach. O.M.G The water there is sooo clear and green. Everything just looked perfect. Made me feel like just touching the water, jumping into it.
Cycled back. IT RAINED, AGAIN. Bastard weather. Sent my Sis and her Bugs back.
Nick and I walked to 7-11. On our way there, I was running and fooling around in the rain, and then I slipped and fall into darkness. Seriously, I was scared out of my wits when my head hit the ground. I blacked out. I couldnt see nothing, all I felt was pain. I was groaning and screaming so loudly in pain. Never in my life I was that scare. When I could finally stand up, I felt very dizzy, the world was really spinning around me.
Reached 7-11. Snacked.
Went into the water at Tanjong beach.
There's this dog. So cute. Nick was playing with it in the water. And it keep chasing him in and out of the water. SO BLOODY FUNNY! The dog was barking and chasing and chasing.
Went back.
It was late.
Went to the toilet at the beach on purpose even though theres toilet provided at the chalet. IT was the most awesome feeling I had ever experienced. The toilet was so cozy and relaxing. Showering in the open shower, with the breeze and the music. There is one song I liked. I couldnt find it anywhere. Not even in the 50 first dates soundtrack CD. I swore I heard it in that movie before. This is SO SAD.
Went back.
Nick talked to two foreigners for a few hours and I drank their liquor. Malibu coconut flavour. Never taste it before. Nice.
Slept.

Day 3.
Woke up 5am to watch to sunrise. Enjoying the breeze.
Walked back to the chalet.
Went for a swim at the pool.
Went to Palawan beach.
MY SANDCASTLE WAS SO MAGNIFICENT. Destroyed by the waves.
Showered, went home.

We brought a camera but we didnt took any pictures. WHAT JOKE.
I sincerely miss Sentosa and the nights and the breeze and the beach and the shower and the AMBIANCE.

She's diggin her armpit!

Happy birthday YingTing!

Job please.

New year's resolution. (Oh finally)

-Reach 52kg.
-Lesser binge eating.
-6 sticks of cigarette a day.
-O levels.
-Guitar guitar guitar!

Five is enough for me. And I need a friggin job.

Baguio and the puzzle ring.

What happened in Baguio?

"ewan ko kung bkit pero
pagkausap kita masaya ako
gusto ko lagi kita kausap
kung pwede nga lang kasama
pag nimimiss kita pumipikita lang ako
para kahit sa panaginip makasama ka
kahit di ka maniwala
kahit masyado pang maaga
gusto ko pa ding sabuihin
mahal na kita"

Sentosa resort on 8th,9th,10th this month.
Msg me if you wanna party with me.

My dearest sis!


New Year. Whatever.

2007 not goodbye yet.

All the beautiful things that happened and the worst. Welcome 2007 again.

1. N level enrollment.
2. SiLing enrollment.
3. Mom threw away my fav blanket.
4. I lost his letters. FUCK. >_>
5. Great Valentine's day.
6. Great CNY at JB. I only meant the food is great.
7. Got to talked to him after the disappearance act from him.
8. The baby.
9. Broke up with Justin.
10. Awesome birthday celebration with the girls.
11. Cut my hair twice.
13. Got Chivas as my birthday present.
14. Bartender is still cute.
15. Acts of desperation to lose weight.
16. I left SiLing.
17. YingTing + Bacardi GOLD = No peace in the world.
18. Ikea and Giant with Mom and Dad.
19. Got in GAP.
20. Went JB with YT and paid 200$ for two packets of cigarette.
21. Missed SINGfest because Lina refused to go with me. =p
22. Too drunk everyday.
23. Saw Fiona Xie at GAP.
24. Many many drunkard nights with GAP.
25. I found Nick.
26. Left GAP.
27. Worked at Motorola.
28. Left Motorola.

Goodbye 2007.

Merry Christmas!

His gift for me.


My gift for him.


Merry Christmas everyone.
P.S Fill in the details the next time.

"Music can be used to underline or create psychological refinements--the unspoken thoughts of a character or the unseen implications of a situation."

When your working your way up, you will find the life you have been seeking for.

Hallelujah

Can you feel it? I hope not.

A little piece I wrote from work.

Why do I always get that feeling that I'm living in denial the whole time? I'm running away and hiding and hiding but it never gets away, the problem is still there.

Being with Nick is a different thing. Being with Nick is something like a vacuum.
Vacuum.
1. A region of space in which there is no matter.
2. A region of space having extremely low gas pressure relative to surrounding pressure. The air pump of a vacuum cleaner, for example, drastically reduces the air pressure inside the device, creating a vacuum; the pressure difference causes air to rush into it, carrying dust and debris along with it.
Take the black hole for example, no matter how much matter, how much atmosphere is being sucked into it, its still a vacuum.

I keep sucking and sucking happiness from him and he's giving and giving but it never gets enough. It keeps diminishing from me. And one day, he's gonna stop giving, and me will be nothing but a self-slothing hole of misery. Like constantly I'm asking myself, I'm happy with him, but how long is it gonna last?

My mom said, The root of it is not cured yet. But that's not the point.
I wish it was something else like a sex addict or an alcoholic. At least its like a real problem that have a real solution. Just keep the cigarettes away. But I don't know what depression is. Is like a non-existence resident in my mind that prefabricate negative waves. I cant really keep my mind away from my head, I suppose, can I?

Before my mom even started her medical classes, she is always saying to me, You could be happy if you want to, you could make it happen if you want to. But now, it all started to make sense to her why am I the way I am. I could express freely to her now although not as clearly verbally. She understands, she really do. But often she got these sad look that says I'm sorry but I don't know how to help.

Lost gray pictures of my past stain greener pastures of my future
Remembrance and recognition forces me to reconsider
I am seeking to regress and recreating what I've found a new beginning torn away
I'm spiraling spiraling down
Empty hands on the ends of these reaching arms need the touch of something real
Year by year we separate further
We are forgetting how to feel
For at the end of this long rope I hang in wait of fading echoes
Uncertainty haunts my everything
I look into tomorrow and I see nothing...
-Saetia

I gets very tired very easily. Work or no work. I gets tired, just tired, and what seems like an endless amount of sleep just to get away from it all. Tired of dealing with it, dealing with life. I just wanna buried myself out from the world. Maybe that's way I'm such a music junkie. It keeps me out from everything. I could sit for hours, devouring every seemingly magical note from every instrument.

Its not like I don't wanna control myself from feeling this way. I wish could though. Who on earth would want to feel as awful everyday?

When facing people, feels like a cheerful and shy facade naturally built on. When they left, it would linger momentarily and then disinvigorated, sunk into the deep holocaust.

The people, the drinks are just a cock screw, preventing an out-burst of the ocean. The never ending flowing of water. No one knows when is it gonna stop. Maybe its never gonna. It won't, cause the problem is still there.

Sometimes, I get tired of dealing with them. I would shut them out of my senses and hope they would leave me alone for a while. I don't wanna talk or just open my mouth. Cause I don't wanna put on this smile anymore. I'm tired and I'm sick of it. Cause I'm not happy, I don't wanna see them laughing and joking with me. It's not funny. I ain't laughing. I don't wanna see them happy either.

There was a time when I thought it was all over. I thought the negativeness would never return again. I was really happy then. Like a true happiness. As if there's a fake one. Well, yes, to me there is. And then it all sets in again. I wish that kind of happiness would come more often.

These loneliness no one would know.

Look what have we done.

I kept walking and walking, thinking and thinking.
My tears kept flowing and people were staring and staring.
Oh the glorious tears. How did we turn out like that?
I looked beyond the quarrels and everything was nothing but, perfect.
I was on the train, sitting and sitting. Its time for silence.
The mad world spinning around me.

New found flame.

Emotional and intense. Enjoy... Or try to enjoy.

I was really taken back by the fact that it was a Japanese band and that they did this screamo shit. Really rare, and it came out real good. Sensational.


P.S Do not delete me from your links.
P.P.S I heart "There is no happy here."

Line resumed.

Phone line resumed. You can call in, msg in, anytime, anywhere.
Pls do msg your phone number, name, NRIC number and your age, thanks.
Or tag them. Dont worry the whole world dont read my blog, its save to tag.

In love with Noel.

"Slowly, over the years, the data will accumulate in your heart and mind, a computer program for total negativity will build into your system, making life more and more unbearable. Depression is a lot like that. But you wont even notice it coming on, thinking that it is somehow normal, something about getting older, about turning eight or turning twelve and then turning fifteen, and then one day you realise that your entire life is just awful, not worth living, a horror and a black blot on the white terrain of human existence."

I gets alot more tired when im not working at all than working.

Argh. Cant find my quiet time. Mom keeps talking to me. Will blog some other day.

The first Noel, the angels did say.
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay.
In the fields where they lay keeping their sheep.
In the cold winter's night that was so deep.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel.
Born is the King of Israel.

Bai.
P.S Cant find a version I like of The First Noel.
But I love my own version, my own tempo. NYAH.

Its been a drag. This few years, its been a drag. Im tired.

L.I.F.E #2

Me: "Life is so empty. Life is so meaningless. So black. So dark. Why do they struggle? We are all gonna die anyway. ARHHHH! *Pulls face and hair* So empty, so empty."

*Hydraulic sounds from the kitchen*

Me: "I dont understand, I dont understand. So empty, so empppty. I dont understand, dont understand.... life."

LOST.

If you need to know, I lost my phone. YES AGAIN.
If anything important, msg or call 96170174. Nick's number, thanks.
I have not plan to get another phone til I get over myself.

Lemon Tree.

Somehow this song "Lemon tree" got into my head and stays in resident there.
I dont know how since I havent heard it since P4.

My sister told me she just sang this song in kBox two days ago.
Maybe we are connected somehow. Mm. Telepathy.

For those who hasnt heard it before, this is the preview.

Fufilling? Not quite.

Different paragraph with different incident that took place. This is how I felt at the very moment.

-
"I remembered my Mom telling me how she would have not gotten married if she knew how it would turned out."
"Ya ya, your Mom and I thinks alike."
I really wonder if there is no problems with the financial status, would they have said the same thing? If yes, then its good to think thrice.
-
The machines are eating out my patience and soul, slowly and torturing.
-
Telling a blue collar worker about the high life and good life when he's working his ass off out of nothing sure aint helping at all.
-
The next time im going through PMS, I should skip work. Really shorten my life. Wait, that's a good thing.
-
Im basically losing it! Im totally tripping right now. Every second is a clenched fist, tight lips, gritted teeth. Do not even come closer to the line, or even cross the line. I swear to the next fag who make me flare up.
-
I feel dumb. I feel useless. I feel stupid. I feel incapable. Inconfident. COMPLETELY! I am Trish, I should quit. Whatever this job had made me felt before, had never been there. I never been that.

-

Kay whatever. Phases that took place. But honestly, I am speaking through gritted teeth the whole day. IT WAS "EMOTIONAL ANGST". There are times I just lose it. The aunties prolly didnt dare to talk to me. I was banging the keyboard, throwing the mouse when something cropped up. Or even, abandon the work load and just stood there, gratifying my child's tantrum. The few times I went to the toilet and weeped for absolutely nothing in concern.
What? Its coming in and yet again.

Sorry for the boring post. Im dead tired.

Morning.
P.S The shoutings and the fightings made our love grew, only but stronger.

I love my guru.

Can I quit my life like Alt-Ctrl-Del + End task. Wish it was that easy like a game.

"And words written over time only serve to paint these days a clearer shade of black."

Travel away far away.

No matter what job you hold, you cant avoid politics from happening.
The best remedy is the ignore therapy.

Im listening to Letters to Dana - Sonata Artica and I suddenly miss the Turkish people and the Dutch boys. Except for Assa Delcastine.