Skypub. Gay name btw.

FINALLY!





Seems like im interrupting every solo pictures the hostress was trying to take with everyone one of us.


Failed attempt #1.


Failed attempt #2.


Aww look at that drunkard.


Yes, shes on top of me.


NO MY PICTURE!


First try.


Second try.


BAM here I am!


YT rocks!


And the fun begins.


Teasing the poor drunken birthday guy.


Ha.


AND MY FAVOURITE PIC OF THE DAY!


K.O

Muh man.

Iamgettingfat.

His site uplifted my Monday morning.
-
This morning when I was checking my email at work I received a wonderful surprise. My first message was from a man named Keith Basilio. Here is the first line of his message:

it’s a bird it’s a plane no it is your humungous cock

First of all Keith, I’d just like to thank you for confusing my penis with a massive steel object capable of ferrying hundreds of people and several tons of luggage across the ocean. And thank you for doing this at 8 in the morning. I wasn’t even angry when I found out that it was just an ad for Viagra. Your words meant a lot.

As soon as I read the message I decided that it was going to be a good day. I think I even whispered “It’s gonna be a good day.” Then, probably thinking that I was in the closing scenes of a movie where the protagonist has successfully made it through a series of grueling challenges to finally discover who he really is, I tilted my head back and took a swig of coffee from my thermos. God damn that thermos and its broken seal. I have to twist the cap on just right to make sure that the seal doesn’t leak. I guess that’s why someone abandoned it in my apartment laundry room beside the sad Monopoly board in the first place.

I’d forgotten to check the seal after filling the thermos up at the shop beside my school, and the unhappy result was that coffee dribbled out in a line directly down my front. It collected in the reservoir created where the vertical drop of my chest is rudely interrupted by the horizontal projection of my belly. I stood up and it looked like an arrow made out of coffee. Pissed me off is what it did.

The bell rang and I walked into the classroom, basically fuming. I felt/looked like crap, and this was not the first time it had happened.

“Good morning sir,” said the boy in the front row.

“Not good morning,” I said. “It’s only a morning.”

I stood up perfectly straight and extended my arms out from my sides.

“Can anyone guess why it might not be a good Monday morning?”

“Sweat under the arms,” said the Korean boy.

“You are sick,” said the girl from Turkey.

A third student piped up: “Your hair is pressed down. From the fog.”

“No. NO!” I said, and slammed my hands down on the desk. “Forget it.”

Then, for the next hour, I taught them a lesson on jokes. Each student was given a sheet of paper – the joke questions were on the left side, and the punch lines were on the right side. The object was for the students to match up the questions with the punch lines.

Nobody got any of the jokes, and I had to spend about 15 minutes explaining each one. There was not a single bit of laughter, but one Chinese girl nearly cried when I was explaining the final “joke” of the lesson:

“Come on guys,” I said, “think about it for a second: a woman is born in America, raised in France, and she dies in China. What is she? Think about it. It’s like a riddle.”

Silence.

“The answers are right there on your sheet. Think about it. It’s not that hard.”

More silence.

“GOD guys, the answer is she’s dead. DEAD!!! It’s written right there on your sheets!!!”

The Chinese girl’s eyes filled with tears and she bowed her head. A single tear dropped onto her sheet of jokes. I felt like a regular horse’s ass. It’s not often that I lose my temper in the classroom. The bell rang, and everyone silently gathered up their books and left.


-Text derived from Derek.

I woke up early today and missed playing Kaz3ro.

ROCK season's back with a new sound! True screamo <3

-

I wont let you pull me down.

Gap.

OMG. I found GAP music accidentely through LastFM. LASTFM IS LOVED!
I should subscribe to it seriously. Its such a hassle.

Gary Jules - Mad world

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Mad World.

The Indian family.

"I am very, very sorry, my poor girl, I have caused you anger and humiliation in your life. Let me make it up to you."
As a high shriek rang across the gloomy and silent hallway, the girl's father tore her eye apart and her limbs off. His eyes weeped silently and he stared with a weird gleaming arduous acomplishment at his product.
As this gruesome movie is being played like a 3D effect, just like im there, I captured every details of the gore. The eye, the eye socket, the blood, the flesh and the pale white bones, buried within the mess.

Very, very disturbing. I am still very quite unhinged by the dream.

The Rape Scene.

My need for wide diversity and revolutions of music is becoming more than burden to me. More like perplexed. I got no idea where to put it all. I just downloaded a whole lot of sick stuffs.
Its now or never. The computer thing has been taking its troll on me.

Bye again.
P.S. Shit I missed my track.
P.P.S. LastFM kick ass more than my iTunes + iPod + Kaz3RO + Chivas + Ciggies + Sex

Your heart is an empty room.

The Malay's traditional headscarf always strikes me with great wonder and curiosity.
"How do you wear that? Does it comes with lots of style? Dont you feel hot at all? Humid? Sticky?... ... Smelly?"
The auntie looked at me with astounding bewilderment, "Why, its very easy actually. You can do it either way..." Her voice descended to a hollow monotone as my eyes transverse to every seemingly beaming faces beneathe the colourful illuminated headscarf.
One day. One day you will be suprised to see me wearing it.

-

Saturday night was a bam. Well okay it was not very unforgettable as before. Only hit my average drunkard level. Har har. But it was still an experience. I miss all my girls. Will update on the pictures as soon as XY did her part which would take her a thousand decades.

Night.

Headscarf.

The picture with the comment that made me burst out laughing.



Jbone - posted - 11/15/2007
cute ng feet.. hehe cute paden kea yan ngeon?:D

My feet is actually noticable. Pinoys never fail to make me laugh.

-

Work is getting better, I think.

And I forget everything that I was going to blog, every qoute, every sentence that I had in mind.

Will blog about the title when I have the time and mood. Shit.
I have to like cultivate the mood everytime.

Deuce.

First.

Wee. Just bought my black iPod classic 80GB a week ago.
Havent been updating recently. A sudden hiatus.
Sorry for being so busy with my life.
Sorry for being unable to visit, Gappers! Hope there would be another drinking session with you guys next month.

My new hobby at work. Just keep on writing.

My little note from work:

What does staring at the wall all day's worth?
$73 + suicidal thoughts in the idling mind.
With all the senseless talks back there, it is no wonder how they ended up spitting at me. They spit daggers through their smiles. Im amazed at the degree of idiocy they are using their brain cells with. Such hypocrisy.

It is a mental torture. No really but thanks.
I just got this huge surge to run around naked, screaming and yelling like a scrawny bimbo, till my throat quivers and vibrates. I couldnt beg and yearn for nothing more but weeds. Yes please, give me the budda.

Its funny how the room is so square. My instinct tells me that its all inter-connected. The room is square, our OM (operation method) is square and one day our mind will soon be "squared".

Its degrading. We are humans not robots. Humans tell the computer what to do. But in this case, not a chance. Sorry its too fucking boring. This job really question my ability and my capability to numb my own painful existence.

"The company pays you $73 to stand around and do nothing. What more can you ask. Just close one eye and do your things."
No im sorry. I cant. Cause if I do, the next second I would be closing both eyes and the next second you would see me outside the company without the $73.

Concerning the N level matter, I still havent got the guts to confess. Maybe I should write a manifesto declaring the truth. She is with antipation yet I am with trepidation. I brought this upon myself all along.
I came this far, I should never stop.
I just need a drink and a crazy night thats all.

-

I feel so blissful right now.
Great boyfriend great family.
What else can I ask for?
Looking forward to Decemeber or January.
We are gonna travel! Hope its foreal.
And a LeeHwa please.
Its gonna be a CRAZY CHRISTMAS.

Last christmas I gave you my heart
but the very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears,
I gave it to someone special.

Bye. Enjoy.

Please forgive me.

Please forgive me
I dont know what I do
Please forgive me
I cant stop loving you
Dont deny me
This pain that im going through
Please forgive me
I need you like I do
Please believe me
Every word I said is true
Please forgive me
I cant stop loving you

iPod Classic?

I wont be good enough for you.
I know you'll make it through, I will never be around to see.
A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me.

But under my cover theres more torture than pleasure.
And just past my lips theres more anger than laughter.
Not now or forever will you ever change me,
I know that to go on, I'll break you my habit.

-

iPod classic? 160GB or 80GB?
Do I even need it? Hrm.

Here I am - Bryan Adams

Just sitting here.
Just sitting here with the breeze and the music.
Its all good.

Suddenly I felt all clear. Light and free.
I miss my dearest Ernies.
I miss my Dad.
I miss my Mom.
I miss all my beloved friends.
I've been waiting for you my whole life.
I wanna spend all my life with you.

Its a brand new life to pursuit.
No more bloody excuses.

-

Funniest thing at work yesterday.
Nick: "Topic - Prison Break."
Me: "Its Tancredi not Tancradi."
You suck in playing Hangman HAHAHA.

Night.
P.S I have forgiven you. Msg me anytime.

Its not.

"Maybe its love but its like you said, Love is like a role that we play.
But I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say."
Reminds me...

Anyway, I hurt my finger twice at the same spot deeper.
And there's this hero just waiting right there for me.
Dang cant touch the guitar.

Chaw.
P.S I am ready to forgive anything.

No more Chivas.

FUN.
I sacrificed my Chivas and it was worth it! Funniest night ever.
I think I have stomach cramps from laughing too much.
Especially the peeing part.
OH MY TUMMY. Im the greediest of all, thanks. So much for telling others off.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YU JIA. I hope you enjoyed your drunkard night.

Inside out.

This, never fail to soothe my mood and soul.

The biggest lie you ever told
Your deepest fear bout growin old
The longest night you ever spent
The angriest letter you never sent
The boy you swore youd never leave
The one you kissed on new years eve
The sweetest dream you had last night
Your darkest hour, your hardest fight

I wanna know you, like I know myself.
Im waitin for you, there aint no one else.
Talk to me baby, scream and shout.
I want to know you inside out
I wanna dig down deep
I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time
I wanna know your mind
Ya know there aint no doubt
I wanna know you inside out

The saddest song you ever heard
The most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed
The truest vow you ever made
What makes you laught, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest hight, your lowest low
These are the things I want to know

-

Things I thought I would never do - Going to the church.
I NEARLY FALL ASLEEP. IT IS SOOO POINTLESS.
Hilarious colleagues.

Leeched from his blog.
http://www.friends.imagini.net/@1775021-c1cd

Okay, HOPEFULLY, lets get drunk tonight girls!
No gambling please.
It always ends up me drinking alone or drinking with some other strangers. Jeebus.

-

I might hurt you at times.
I may be cold to you at times, but I still love you all the same.
I am not worth your devoutness.
I was so heartbroken to actually see you do that.
I couldnt believe the grievous sight.
You had just proved to me, you would do anything for me.
You had just proved that, theres no one like you I can find.
I dont want any Tulips and Lilies no more.
I want your loving care.

Bai.
P.S Hopefully, to Perth with Nicky Nick this december! HES PAYING NYAH.
[Althought I was really thinking of Africa with the Kung! bushman.]
P.P.S O.K I am officially pissed off/jealous of his bloody guitar. He just went to buy another guitar secretly behind my back.

Okay, since so, return me the baby. I'll give you back the money and everything hobo.

Earning more than 2G a month without a SINGLE cert. HAR HAR. I beat anyone of you guys HANDS DOWN. Couldnt be any better for now.

SUMMARY. [Damnit, hate summaries. Wheres the respect?]
Work was o-k. The joy is, every Malays speaks Melayu to me and the Chinese speaks English to me. HAAA. And the food. O-M-GEE. Cheap plus great. I am addicted to it.
Time was faster with Nick popping in every now and then.
Funny peoples.
Same posture, bones harden.

Chaw.

Where are you?

Whatever happened to the inspirations.
Whatever happened to the calm and aspiring.
Kay whatever.
-
Sorry for the deserted blog caused by my negligence.
But I just dont wanna continue the pointless posts anymore.
Its either something worthwhile, meaningful to me, or nothing at all.
-
Reality check.
How much wages we ask from life, life would have willingly give.
How much wages we want to get is how much work load have you done.
Im still oblivious to the risks and consequences.

NIGHTS.
P.S It creates a bond just by talking.

Kung wala ka.

Dead I guess.
BLOG'S DEAD.
Will be getting a small hiatus here, momentarily of course.

Looking for a new job.
O levels.
Learning guitar.
Dancing? Prolly. Depends.
With the help from him, of course.

Chaw.
P.S Need to get use to life without you here.

GAP

The familiar song I listen to everyday at work.
Although theres someone special in my life now.
I still feel empty without the usual thing.
Siti's voice. Lina's sarcasm. Azhi's humour. Man I love her! Candy. Simon.
The music. Their laughters. My anxiety towards people.
I miss how I push myself forward every single day.
I miss how I keep telling myself, "Im confident." everytime before I step out of the house.
The first job out of many, that I actually had communication with the people.
Miss you Guppies.

There I go again.
Proceeding to the next stage of my life.
Or am I really regressing?

Til we meet again.

ADDICTED to the Rubik's cube.

No the heading is serious. Really.
Completed 2/3 of the cube. WATCH ME COMPLETE IT AND CALL ME A GENIUS HAHA.

Switching job scope. Sales can bored me out.

"I really love the green robot. Its so lonely and gloomy. I will be back to get it."

Chaw.
P.S I cant breathe sometimes. Its suffocating.

I miss the notes.

You see, the problem is I need a happy man by my side to keep my euphoric drive going. Not to sustain it by drinking anymore.
Its an arduous journey to finally have gotten better, I dont want to be pulled down to depression again.
The only thing I can do is to be happy.
I hope I am that influential to you that the happiness can be passed or shared.


How have I been?
I've been kicking out any negative aspects of life with a simple, "Ah fuck that shit. Not anything to fret about."
Taking things slowly. Why am I such a wuss to the world.

Update about me.
Found a new love. Been together for quite a while now.
Its amazing of the similarities and the coincidences in our lives.

Chaw.
P.S How are you?

I quitted GAP. Just so you know.

Amazed at how things lead to one another.
I had a great week. Thanks.
Sipping on a Lychee martini, a breeze of his perfume.
Its all good.

Tho im dirty like fuck.

Uncle kenneth went to Roma.
He sent me pictures.
It was so beautiful.

And I just felt the wtc.
Where was I at p6.

I just wanna lie on my bed the whole day.

She said, "Dont stop the momentum. Your down again. Stablize it and dont stop working, no matter how it is a drag to just get out of the house."

P.S Im down again. Help? Prozac pls.

Ooo la

"The habit of postponing decisions to avoid taking action can deprive a life of any lasting satisfaction and happiness. The mind can produces a reservoir of self-justification."

Is that why I just cant seem to get out of my fence?
I often wonder how people got so strong.
Why? How?

I rather live my life in a country, growing crops and rearing chickens.
Running around with a dog on a everlasting greens and wind.
Green green grass.

I find it a drag everyday.

Am I immune to guys?

SHAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

EXHAUSTING DAY.

Thursday, went Jewel. Free drinks all night.
Drank the first half of the night away.
Danced the remaining night away.
And I NEVER PUKED.
Went home at 7am+
I woke up with muscle ache.
WE HAD FUN YA!

Friday. BORING!
Imagine clubbing with aunties.
Went midnight movie. Evan almighty.
Hilarious.
Went work straight away.
HOW SHAG AM I NOW. Take a guess.
K.O during lunch breaks.

GOD I HATE WRITING SUMMARIES ON MY BLOG.
But im too stoned to write a full detail.

Dreams - The CRANBERRIES

Still feeling it.

Cant kick the mind.

Trish just stop it.
Its 12 hours to exam.

WHY IS MY LIFE EVOLVE AROUND THINGS I DONT FEEL GOOD IN.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday - EXAMS
Wednesday - Pub + Club.
Thursday - PLAY, lesbian club. ;]
Friday - FREE
Saturday - Work
Sunday - Work

Holler me, if you wanna join any of the funs above.

Sorry, I still dont feel belong.
Please. I have been in these for so long.
I went there more then any of you girls.
I know what to expect and whats not.
I dont need no nanny.

Need a break from all of you.

Cant seems to forget yesterday's night.
His cheeks, his perfume, his hair.
New sweetness.
I thought it was all a dream.

Pictures and the talks.

MY huge bed in GAP.



The toilet life.

I FUCKING QUIT DRINKING!

How many days was it?
Drinking til im dead drunk.
Having new numbers everyday.
Every night was a blur.
But luckily it wasnt, "Every morning, I wake up with a stranger hugging me."
Just like years ago.
Im pretty much screwed up.
Having others picking up my mess that I left.
Thanks Mom, thanks Guppies.

Yesterday.
Went wc at 7pm+. Drank til 12.
Went to Boat quey. Continued drinking. Dance a little.
Guys are pretty much the same.
They are like a alcohol supplier.
Its so easy to get drinks anywhere.

Yesterday's yesterday.
Went to wc. Drank til 2. Went home.

Few days ago.
Drank at Kopitiam. Went home at 6am. HAHA.

I really dont know what to say man.
No more drinking for me.
Its either drink til im dead drunk or nothing at all.

We gonna get what we desire.

Candy, your right man.
I was gonna upload it anyway.



Work tires me out very much now.
God I need a drink to free my mind.

P.S I wish those smiles meant something. Could you please tell me something, anything?
P.P.S "Before the night is over."

A1

In the process of dying of hangover.
Yesterday night, Disccussion.
With Emie, Jadon, two of his friends, XY and her BF.
Two bottles Martell. Ftw.

Okay. Remember the guy I was talking about, some months ago?
The one we stole ciggie from?
Karma is here!
Trying to devour me.
Fuck. Im smart tho im drunk. ;]
Im still brilliant. HA
He prolly suffer alot more than the "drunk me".
TRY AGAIN, THINK AGAIN. HAHAHA. So whos gonna get it?
SUCKA!
Gossips to share! MAN XIAO HUI COME BAAACK! I MISS YOU ALREADY.

After drinking, the whole of Disc-cusion went clubbing.
The waitresses keep pulling me along, saying Boss is there! He wants you to come!
And I didnt want to! Cause I knew I wasnt okay already.
I know I couldnt drink no more, but my hands keep taking the glass up to my mouth.
Damnit.
The funniest thing was, we reached the entrance of the w/e club name 96 or something,
I sat at the stairs of the entrance, they went in, left me, XY, ciggie guy, jing wei.
Sat there sat there. Went down, cabbed home.
HAHAHAHA we was already at the entrance but YET we didnt went in. Stupid?

MAN Guess what am I listening to?
A1!
HAHA! Reminds me of my childhood days.
I SLEPT WITH THEM! I meant their posters.
ROFL.



The top I wanted!


I know my mouth is opened. I was talking ADUR.

I thank hell for making life on earth miserable.

Tonight's supper was somehow, ... ... depressing.
I never thought I would get so agitated and tensed up the moment the thoughts of him came into my mind.
I was so work up that my words couldnt come out right.
The sentence to curse, came out like a retarded slur.

I walked into the MRT and sat down.
My eyes sting from the sudden wetness as the terrific thoughts of the huge lamp that shone brightly above, white ladies with masks, stared at me from above.
The horror, the trepidation will never be recognised by anyone.
The helplessness and fear.

Thanks. The anger keeps me going.
Keeps me pushing myself forward every single day.

-

If you would ask me what do I fear the most, I would answer you, People and the society.

-

Joy! If it happens that anyone cant sleep tomorrow night, feel free to drop by Discussion. Anyone's counting down to payday except me?

Yearning for.

Does anyone felt this way before?

You're stuck in foreign quest.
You hate absolutely everything about it.
The people, the work, everything.
Your itchying for a growth, a change.
You worked hard for the change.
It happened.
You gradually began enjoying the foreign quest.
It aint foreign to you anymore.
But you dont realise it.
You complain of hating it.
You complain about everything, like, the way you did, the first time here.

Suddenly, you have to leave this "foreign" place.
And your placed in a totally strange place.
With a new quest you set out to.
You began hating it here and began reminiscing the old, familiar place that you once hate.

Sounds familiar, dont it?

I would do anything for everything that would make me sleep.
Damn it I will.

Another sleepless night, and yet I gotta work in three hours time.

Made in China.

I want to laugh at China.
Theres problems with their food.
Problems with the toys.
Now, theres problem with their clothings.
It caught fire. HAHAHAHAHA.
MAN. How desperate China can be.
Dare me to buy things "Made in China".

I just realised, I wore my short the wrong way.
Days without work, had me eating much.

Nights.
P.S I like the way you call me Dee.
P.P.S I like the way you called me Trisssssssh. Reminds me of Lan.

Just do it.

MAN. Is this hilarious or what?
I am FORCED to take off.
Isn't a part timer whose willing to commit, good enough?
Why are the complains of working too much.
MAN Im still alive and kicking dont worry.
Seriously, I DONT NEED NO OFFs.
Aff.

Plans for tomorrow.
Stroll with granny, study, jog.
Stroll again I hope.
MAN. I need an outdoor activity.

No shopping for me till 26th.
I AM a compulsive shopper.
Please stop me at all cost.
I am splurging my savings EVERYWHERE.
Please for Trish's sake.
Self CONTROL.

I seem to lost all my self control.
Be it waking up or stop eating.
EVERYTHING.
Just do it.
Fuck the Nike's brand.

CHAW.

Saw Fiona Xie in person today at GAP.
Pretty and stuck up.
She looks taller than what she looked, on tv.
MAN. I wish I was her. A FUCKING BEAUTY.

w580i

Changed my LOV-LEH phone!
No more mirror anytime anywhere anymore.
w580i!



Love the lights.

I LOST MANY PHONE NUMBERS.
AND I hope my flu will end by tomorrow. Work.

Your Birthdate: May 29

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move. It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone. Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5 You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

BROKE.

Went shopping after work with YT today.
Splurged on LEVIS and MOOKS.
Eff im broke.

Work was great.
I made a total of $1100+ sales from Baby and adults.
ITS THE FIRST TIME.
Man im so proud of myself.
The first step.

Boss asked for the fourth time THIS YEAR [for this year ONLY] to work for him.
$10+ and more PER hour.
Its so tempting.
You know I could really work for him after work at GAP.
But I dunno. I prolly might.
I get to drink ya know.

Nights.

Lazyness will never ever be my reason again, or my second option.

Disc-what?

Working's smooth today.
'Cept for a few complains I just gotta get it out.
LINA YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BabyGAP babyGAP.
I know I fare pretty well than the last week.
Time was faster when Eileen came.

Xhuii, I left a note for you in the locker.
Do read it before you do something stupid like stealing food. HA.

24th of this month.
Disc-cussion first then MOS.
Interested suspects, pls call.
IT IS CONFIRM.
No last minute back out from me.

Went home with Candy after waiting for her to finish playing CATCHING with Anthony.
HA. Interesting girl with loads of different kind of stories to tell.
DISC-CUSSION AT PAYDAY OKAY!

Im dope.

To cope with the anxiety and the senseless worries every single day, drains me out mentally.
Sometimes I just need to stop being so obsessive about things.
The point is, I cant stop.
I just cant get my mindset straight, the right way.
The pointless trains of thoughts is killing me. Or rather, ruining me.

Right now I just feel so fed up and fucking thwarted.
Its like you ran up the hill and have to fucking get to the top but you realised you couldnt because of the obnoxious still rock and you couldnt get down either. Either way, your screwed up. You want to get down so gravely but you got that far and no one realised it.

Its hard. Its really hard for me.
I am starting to believe that my attributes doesnt accomodates one another.
I got nothing to gratify my satisfication either.
I NEED TO!
Thats like a potion to boost my morale.
GOD!
EDIT. No sorry. I dont believe in God.

I gotta start worrying about other things instead.
I tried and tried a few thousand times.
If the number of tries could turn into money, I be richer than Bill Gates.

Dan asked me the question he asked, four years ago.
WTF?! I mean. Its really crazy.
We hadnt seen each other for monkey years.

I appreciate Heng Yong for making me feel comfortable in GAP.
Some are just fuct up.
I cant help but feel so mad today.
I mean, man, let me prove it before you condemn me.

Just so hard to try and be myself.
It always turns out the wrong interpretion.
Or worse, I might look dumb.
Even worse. People think im weird.
THATS WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD. SEE. Man im dope.
I have just lost my soul and my fucking brains.

Night.
P.S MAN I need a drink, man and a massage... Or a drunken massage.

The pictures and the talks.

A real relaxing week for me.
Thanks to Heng Yong.
Pushed myself off my limits and its working out fine.
At least its not like the old me who cant take any pressure and responsibilities.
Every single, I reminded myself, to keep pushing!
GIRL you can do it.

Night.
P.S You dont want me there? You will see me there.

Monday, 9am - 11pm
Tuesday, OFF
Wednesday, 9am - 7pm
Thursday, 9am - 7pm
Friday, 9am - 7pm
Saturday, OFF
Sunday, OFF

Wow I only got four working days. Aw damn.
Okay im so half hearted. I want to work less but i still wanna work more.
I dont know damnit.

Hello, I dont look like Hallo panda.

Days of sobriety drowns my euphoric drive.

Saturday, 9am - 7pm
Sunday, 9am - 10pm

I need some exitement in my life.

Just a picture. I hate my blog now.

I liked that feeling.

I would suicide in BabyGAP.
Tomorrow is my off day.
I hope to study.
I doubt my results are gonna pass off very well even if I did.
How long am I gonna procrastinate til?
Another two more years?
To just get an O levels? What joke!
This plan isnt coming on too well for me.

P.S Lina is getting afraid to go out with us. The drunkards.

My wish.

The prince charming and the average lady.
And he held my hand and led me thru the crowd like a princess.
Fairy of the night, please grant me my drunkard wish.

Another night at Discussion.
WE WILL MISS YOU AH LONG!
The atmosphere was so sweet like a huge family.
The usual chatterings, the familiar laughters.
The whole back room of Discussion was ours to hold.
There was 17 people!
We had a group photo. [Will elaborate on that later. AKU TAK SUKE!]
I was damn wasted.
And again, how did I woke up for work this morning. *Applause*

Work.
NURUL pasted the group photo on her locker. WTF?!?!?!
I LOOKED AT MYSELF.
I WAS SO DISGUSTED! FUCKING FAT, DISGUSTING UGLY BITCH.!
I wasnt ready for the camera and i was in such a FUCKING awkward position.
WTFFFFFFFFFF! Man. I am so not gonna post that group picture HERE!
So im sorry for people looking for jokes on the net.
Jeff kept laughing everytime he saw me. EFF.
I bet Heng yong is gonna do worst.
Cant wait. - .-

After work.
Went to a cafe outside Heeren called NYDC or w.e after work with Lina and Nurul.
Had a long chat.
Nurul really motivates me.
I guess all these years of being a weakling and a failure, its time to make a change.
I hope.
Siti joined us.
They left for midnight job.
Me, home.

P.S The prince. ;[
P.P.S I can post some pics but its too dark.

Red eyes are back.
I need help FROM myself.
Bad bad bad. Fuck.

The night at RAVE.

Notepad:
Its been nearly a month since I've written in here.
There's no time, no inspiration.
Look at my blog, its all the usual nonsense.
Working community has been going uphill for me, at least for the moment.
What joy!

On the MRT, everytime I lean my back against the door on the other side, I got this horrid feeling that it would suddenly open and I, be flying down and out.\

Heng yong, im not blur OKAY!

Heng yong dont let me work FULL on National day. - .-
"Take more MC la. Go drink dont want come work la. Double pay dont let you work full."
Ftw?!
?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Discussion today with Simon, cancelled.
TOMORROW!

Karma please.

I MANAGED TO GET UP TO WORK THIS MORNING. Geebus.
How the fuck did I do that?

Heng yong wasnt mad at me for busting off work on Monday.
LUCKY ME. I was soooo guilty.
Drinking always have the priority. ;]

Bruise from start of work til the end.
I was under the table getting new piece of shorts for customer.
Knocked my head hard before getting up.
She laughed. I laughed with her tho it hurt like fuck.
I "kiyup" my last finger on the same place.
End of work.
Three straight consecutive "OUCH!"
CAUSED BY XIAO HUI.

Sang the whole day at work.
Its SO BORING!
This classic rock "I live my life for you - Firehouse/Lifehouse" had become my current fav working song.

I served a filo couple today, and felt a tingling of sadness.
It was the man's voice and accent that caught me.
Tears just flowed suddenly when I looked at him.
I let them walked away.
He doesnt recognised me.
Perhaps I got the wrong person.

Had some angry talking session with XH during break.
I guess I have to just hope for karma.
Til it take its turn.
My conscience are clear and yours arent.

National day's eve. CLUBBING with them girlies!
Actually, I dont know who im gonna go who.
Its either with GAP or XY's usual suspect.
I hope I could go with both groups but I doubt its highly impossible.
UNLESS we went to the same one.
Then it would be like that night at Royal Pub.
No more drinks? Just go to the other table. HAHA.
Okay thats not my motive.

Its four months til Christmas. How time passes.


Night.
P.S Mom, I need my money.
P.P.S CRYSTAL! I NEED THE PICTURES! ;P

We had a celebration yesterday for Crystal's last day.
Lina told me she cried at work! She was so touched. Theres even a video!
Its sad that I didnt really get to know her that well and shes leaving so soon.
Lina told me, "I realised after that day at Disc-cussion, we seems to be more close."
Man, I totally agree with you on this.
We had Swensens yesterday at Orchard.
Last min trip to clark quey.
It was okay. Kinda boring for me cause theres nothing left to DRINK!
Well okay back to work. - .-
NO FUCKING LIFE.