Went for the op. Cute surgical robe. They lay me on a bed. I listened to the cadence of the nurses talking to the other patients. The repetition of "take off your panty now, the doctor is coming to put the medication." "Sleep first, you cannot get off the bed for 2 hours." Blah blah blah.
The nurse 'pokes' the cannula into my veins. As she is preparing the cannula, I nearly cried. I was so frightened of what to expect next the moment I stepped into the ward. When she insert the cannula in, its not as bad. The doctor came, insert something into my vagina. I had to wait for 2 hours before proceeding into the surgical room. Tried to sleep. Couldnt. Tossed and turned. Fucking cold.
Two hours passed. I went into the surgical room. Doctors gave me the GA. It works like a wonder. Like getting drunk but in a fast forward motion. I woke up. My tummy hurts alot, I was shivering uncontrollably. My teeth shaking away. I told the nurse I was cold. She say its the effect of the drug. It hurts to move. My back ached from lying too much. Finally it was over.

I walked out of the room. He greeted me by saying, "Where are we going to eat" over and over again instead of "You feeling okay? Does it still hurts? Do you feel like vomiting? Can you walk far?" You said your concern is me. MY ASS. Your concern is food. Are you so very hungry?
Over the months, tons of arguements. Not even a sorry. A sorry doesnt mean you are in the sorry. A sorry means making the girl happy. And stop being mad. But no.
Your biggest mistakes is to PRETEND THAT NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.
The arguements is a little matter compared to the baby.
You recieved the news. Pretend nothing had happened.
After the op. Pretend nothing had happened.

How I wish to hear, im sorry you have to go through this. Are you scared? Dont worry you be fine. Im sorry that this happened. But no. To you, NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.

Now IM the one who is suffering, and not you. So stop thinking of yourself only. Throw your HIGH HUGE ego out for a moment. And stop with that tone. Stop trying to lecture me. And PUSH all the blames to me. You are in no position. I AM SUFFERING NOT YOU.

Act like a man. Stop acting like a wuzzy.

This concerns the both of us and I am the only one who is suffering. Think about MY feeling. Try to push me away after I suffered all this because of you, not so easy let me tell you.
And when all this is over, I knew you would be quick to throw me away. You wouldnt even try. I wasnt wrong about you right. ;] Think carefully. The baby is gone doesnt mean im not a threat anymore. Im not the kind who will suffer in silence. Im not the kind who will suffer ALONE.

Think about what else could you have said that would change the way I acted. Stop pushing the blame around. This point, you pushing the blame around, is what my Dad is right. Indians change their talks quickly to put the blame around.

God I feel like im dating a kid.