Ouch, my heart is dying...

Should I do this beautiful mistake? Should I do it?
Will I live to regret? My love...

So afraid we wont last to the next month annivesary.
Guys are all the same.
Just tell me what you want.
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.
-
Sis and I went for a sushi meal, kinda rush cause she got to work. And z0mg, that wasabi! Maybe thats why im down with flu now >_> Allegy to Wasabi? o.o
Went to dinner with Darren at night then saw py.
Thats all. Boring day.
-
Cant believe the state the relationship is going. I cant see anyway to salvage it.

Hooray for sushi!
Yay for kaiiii <3!

*Yawns* Boring life.

Theres no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that its gone its like it wasnt there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night
-
I think im becoming scare of working o_o "Kong ju gan" ya know >_>
Envious of my sis =[
Obvious how a failure I am. All I do is sit around.
-
I know youll never change
I wont be good enough for you
I know youll make it through
Ill never be around to see

All carb diet, all carb diet.
No rice for me pls. =x

Maybe its love but its like you said "Love is like a role that we play"
But I believe in you so much, I could die for the words that you say.

-
And going back wont feel the same if we arent staying

Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?

Everything has changed

Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

You chose to ignore and forget.
I guess this is it.

SERIOUSLY. This guy gotta JERK OFF. Go masturbate or something and stop bothering me with ur pathetic faggy crap. You wanna die? Okay thanks and bai go on and stop bothering me telling me you wanna die or you feel like dying or blah blah blah you cant take it anymore. Seriously, you only know me for two days yo. And your telling me your in love with me? O please thats more like disturbing. Fucking shit even fake your crying on the phone. Honestly I didnt wanna hurt you but you cant stop asking me if i wanna be your GF. You wanted me to answer you fast so like, FINE im not interested in being your GF so why dont you screw off. Then seriously started sniffing and shit. Im not gonna take that from you. Then your like, ok... you go on watch tv... imma go. Then im like kthxbai and hung up the phone. Then you called saying wow you really hung up the phone? Then im like yo ur weird dude, you said bai and of course i hung up. WTF?! Dont try to txt me, i will NOT reply -_- Stupid immature boys. Like omfg your 21. Retarded?

Mmmkay.
Nothing helps. I cant do anything. Trying to make things work out. Just fuck it.

Mmmfuckit.
Hate how thing changes like snap.
Remember this phrase in my past post. "I hate how thing ended like snap."

Watched a movie. Undercover operation. Its niceeeee! Its like Wu jian dao. Nice nice. Cute and handsome guys ;P
Went home after that. Still thinking much.

One month left. Feels like nothing will help. I should just waste these months. Or should I give it a last try. And prolly my dad would fork out some money.
Feels like im back feeling useless. Feeling helpess. Feeling lazy. Feeling demoralize. Going emo again. Fffuck. Who will be there...

Waiting everyday. I rather be the one who waits at home for him. Waiting here seems so pointless. Mmm o.o

If I lay here,
if I just lay here,
would you lie with me and just forget the world.

Weee Kwang treat me eat sushi =D So happee.
And then the guy I met at Bugis, Jin Wei kept calling. Friggin irritating. He was like mad and pissed I didnt go out with him. >_> And like wtf I told him last night, "Like I dont go talk to a person on the phone for a night then be his bf." Seriously, people like that gotta go jerk off.
Then went to play billiard or pool w/e. And yes yes one more good thing. Kwang bought me ciggieeeee SO NICE OF HIM.

And I went home. Jin Wei kept calling. >_> Effffffffff. Dunno if im gonna go out with him tomorrow >_> But seriously I dont wanna go out with this kind of person.

Finally we talked. (: Dont want others attention. I need only yours.
Time doesnt seems on our side either. Sigh.

Hate LVER.

Omg dumb Kwang. Install a fake windows xp now I cant update my wmp ;(

Im just craving for some attention here.
Anyone o.o Gimme some?

But wow.. What ludy luck am I getting.
Now the guy I met at Bugis takes his turn. Zzz.

... ... Until someone do cares.
<\3

Theres poison in my drinking glass
Dont stop just sip it down
And in a swirling masquerade of sound
My body hits the ground
Im beautiful when Im asleep,
martini kisses land
on my blistered bloody scarlet lips
the bottles in my hand

Burn out not fade away

Ill speak in riddles so you can understand
Ill draw in pencil so you can trace with pen
So in love with me, like sand to wet feet
Ill write both our names into the wet concrete.

Were glistening like silver spoons
Beneath the summer night
Oh can you smell the subtle hint of frost
As the flowers start to cry
The Autumn winds are bringing graves
To all the emerald trees
Theyre so beautiful in their dismay
The colors slowly bleed

Still loving you

So ridiculous.
I must get my rightful amount of pay.
I will talk to the one whos handling my pay if I have to.
So see ya til then. Kthxfuckyoubai.

Hmm wth. Gene called me and told me to pass her the MC for today. I was like you told me not to come to work anymore so why bother to get MC. And without MC equals seven days of pay gone. She said the mins i was late will be deducted. 1min deduct 1$. Screw you biatch. W.e I dont know how to put it in words either. Im just too pissed. Fuct up pay. Im working for nothing. All this weeks of hard work and metally 'challenged' and the effin high transport fees. You owe me. Heartless bitch. Burn bitches.
-
Watched a movie. The death note is nice but no ending. Dont wish to type anymore. Ciao.

Stressed and pressurized. I totally broke down in front of my family when I talked to them a while ago.
I dont know why I hang on to that job. Prolly its just because of that one thing that keeps me going. A strong goal. But today, I got so demoralized. When I told my mom and sis about it they felt mad and sad for me. They told me to stop working there. And of course I agree totally. I know I dont got enough time left to look for another job. December.. A special month for me. Thats really whats kept me going. But... I nearly cried at my workplace today. I felt.. like a failure. Its like I could just die right there. I wish I could sleep thru the years. My mom said I was depressed. She told me to go out more often to enjoy but.. I dont got much time left. This two months I just wanna make more money. All for Decemeber. She knows about Decemeber too, she sympathtized but she really dont advice me to do it. She told me to postpone it and dont push myself so hard. But I dont wanna delay it anymore.
I cry cause I pity myself, I know I dont deserve this treatment. Im facing so much judgement everyday.

I tried my best.. Sorry if I couldnt make it at Decemeber. =(

I hate the Vivo bitches.

Weird day.
Working as usual. And I saw a customer wearing a shoe that i was looking for. It really loooked like that show from hottopic. And I was like " Uhm hi excuse me where you buy the shoe from?" Shes like suprise LOL.
And and a customer complimented my sevice and wanted me to work in her shop LOL. Wow thats funny. Thats like betraying my company? Haha but HECK. Imma call her sometime to discuss the details ;P

Uhh fuck it. I hate the one week thing.