GAP

The familiar song I listen to everyday at work.
Although theres someone special in my life now.
I still feel empty without the usual thing.
Siti's voice. Lina's sarcasm. Azhi's humour. Man I love her! Candy. Simon.
The music. Their laughters. My anxiety towards people.
I miss how I push myself forward every single day.
I miss how I keep telling myself, "Im confident." everytime before I step out of the house.
The first job out of many, that I actually had communication with the people.
Miss you Guppies.

There I go again.
Proceeding to the next stage of my life.
Or am I really regressing?

Til we meet again.

ADDICTED to the Rubik's cube.

No the heading is serious. Really.
Completed 2/3 of the cube. WATCH ME COMPLETE IT AND CALL ME A GENIUS HAHA.

Switching job scope. Sales can bored me out.

"I really love the green robot. Its so lonely and gloomy. I will be back to get it."

Chaw.
P.S I cant breathe sometimes. Its suffocating.

I miss the notes.

You see, the problem is I need a happy man by my side to keep my euphoric drive going. Not to sustain it by drinking anymore.
Its an arduous journey to finally have gotten better, I dont want to be pulled down to depression again.
The only thing I can do is to be happy.
I hope I am that influential to you that the happiness can be passed or shared.


How have I been?
I've been kicking out any negative aspects of life with a simple, "Ah fuck that shit. Not anything to fret about."
Taking things slowly. Why am I such a wuss to the world.

Update about me.
Found a new love. Been together for quite a while now.
Its amazing of the similarities and the coincidences in our lives.

Chaw.
P.S How are you?

I quitted GAP. Just so you know.

Amazed at how things lead to one another.
I had a great week. Thanks.
Sipping on a Lychee martini, a breeze of his perfume.
Its all good.

Tho im dirty like fuck.

Uncle kenneth went to Roma.
He sent me pictures.
It was so beautiful.

And I just felt the wtc.
Where was I at p6.

I just wanna lie on my bed the whole day.

She said, "Dont stop the momentum. Your down again. Stablize it and dont stop working, no matter how it is a drag to just get out of the house."

P.S Im down again. Help? Prozac pls.

Ooo la

"The habit of postponing decisions to avoid taking action can deprive a life of any lasting satisfaction and happiness. The mind can produces a reservoir of self-justification."

Is that why I just cant seem to get out of my fence?
I often wonder how people got so strong.
Why? How?

I rather live my life in a country, growing crops and rearing chickens.
Running around with a dog on a everlasting greens and wind.
Green green grass.

I find it a drag everyday.

Am I immune to guys?

SHAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

EXHAUSTING DAY.

Thursday, went Jewel. Free drinks all night.
Drank the first half of the night away.
Danced the remaining night away.
And I NEVER PUKED.
Went home at 7am+
I woke up with muscle ache.
WE HAD FUN YA!

Friday. BORING!
Imagine clubbing with aunties.
Went midnight movie. Evan almighty.
Hilarious.
Went work straight away.
HOW SHAG AM I NOW. Take a guess.
K.O during lunch breaks.

GOD I HATE WRITING SUMMARIES ON MY BLOG.
But im too stoned to write a full detail.

Dreams - The CRANBERRIES

Still feeling it.

Cant kick the mind.

Trish just stop it.
Its 12 hours to exam.

WHY IS MY LIFE EVOLVE AROUND THINGS I DONT FEEL GOOD IN.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday - EXAMS
Wednesday - Pub + Club.
Thursday - PLAY, lesbian club. ;]
Friday - FREE
Saturday - Work
Sunday - Work

Holler me, if you wanna join any of the funs above.

Sorry, I still dont feel belong.
Please. I have been in these for so long.
I went there more then any of you girls.
I know what to expect and whats not.
I dont need no nanny.

Need a break from all of you.

Cant seems to forget yesterday's night.
His cheeks, his perfume, his hair.
New sweetness.
I thought it was all a dream.

Pictures and the talks.

MY huge bed in GAP.



The toilet life.

I FUCKING QUIT DRINKING!

How many days was it?
Drinking til im dead drunk.
Having new numbers everyday.
Every night was a blur.
But luckily it wasnt, "Every morning, I wake up with a stranger hugging me."
Just like years ago.
Im pretty much screwed up.
Having others picking up my mess that I left.
Thanks Mom, thanks Guppies.

Yesterday.
Went wc at 7pm+. Drank til 12.
Went to Boat quey. Continued drinking. Dance a little.
Guys are pretty much the same.
They are like a alcohol supplier.
Its so easy to get drinks anywhere.

Yesterday's yesterday.
Went to wc. Drank til 2. Went home.

Few days ago.
Drank at Kopitiam. Went home at 6am. HAHA.

I really dont know what to say man.
No more drinking for me.
Its either drink til im dead drunk or nothing at all.

We gonna get what we desire.

Candy, your right man.
I was gonna upload it anyway.



Work tires me out very much now.
God I need a drink to free my mind.

P.S I wish those smiles meant something. Could you please tell me something, anything?
P.P.S "Before the night is over."

A1

In the process of dying of hangover.
Yesterday night, Disccussion.
With Emie, Jadon, two of his friends, XY and her BF.
Two bottles Martell. Ftw.

Okay. Remember the guy I was talking about, some months ago?
The one we stole ciggie from?
Karma is here!
Trying to devour me.
Fuck. Im smart tho im drunk. ;]
Im still brilliant. HA
He prolly suffer alot more than the "drunk me".
TRY AGAIN, THINK AGAIN. HAHAHA. So whos gonna get it?
SUCKA!
Gossips to share! MAN XIAO HUI COME BAAACK! I MISS YOU ALREADY.

After drinking, the whole of Disc-cusion went clubbing.
The waitresses keep pulling me along, saying Boss is there! He wants you to come!
And I didnt want to! Cause I knew I wasnt okay already.
I know I couldnt drink no more, but my hands keep taking the glass up to my mouth.
Damnit.
The funniest thing was, we reached the entrance of the w/e club name 96 or something,
I sat at the stairs of the entrance, they went in, left me, XY, ciggie guy, jing wei.
Sat there sat there. Went down, cabbed home.
HAHAHAHA we was already at the entrance but YET we didnt went in. Stupid?

MAN Guess what am I listening to?
A1!
HAHA! Reminds me of my childhood days.
I SLEPT WITH THEM! I meant their posters.
ROFL.



The top I wanted!


I know my mouth is opened. I was talking ADUR.

I thank hell for making life on earth miserable.

Tonight's supper was somehow, ... ... depressing.
I never thought I would get so agitated and tensed up the moment the thoughts of him came into my mind.
I was so work up that my words couldnt come out right.
The sentence to curse, came out like a retarded slur.

I walked into the MRT and sat down.
My eyes sting from the sudden wetness as the terrific thoughts of the huge lamp that shone brightly above, white ladies with masks, stared at me from above.
The horror, the trepidation will never be recognised by anyone.
The helplessness and fear.

Thanks. The anger keeps me going.
Keeps me pushing myself forward every single day.

-

If you would ask me what do I fear the most, I would answer you, People and the society.

-

Joy! If it happens that anyone cant sleep tomorrow night, feel free to drop by Discussion. Anyone's counting down to payday except me?

Yearning for.

Does anyone felt this way before?

You're stuck in foreign quest.
You hate absolutely everything about it.
The people, the work, everything.
Your itchying for a growth, a change.
You worked hard for the change.
It happened.
You gradually began enjoying the foreign quest.
It aint foreign to you anymore.
But you dont realise it.
You complain of hating it.
You complain about everything, like, the way you did, the first time here.

Suddenly, you have to leave this "foreign" place.
And your placed in a totally strange place.
With a new quest you set out to.
You began hating it here and began reminiscing the old, familiar place that you once hate.

Sounds familiar, dont it?