Hurting and comforting words... They come. But in the end what words left will be nth. Action had to be seen. But there are no actions. No results. No conclusion. No decision. I will be there just geting hurt by words, lighting up a lil by words. Nth done to make it clear to me. Only rumours, thoughts, assumption and words from friends.

I cant do anything. Yea pray. Hoping. Nth else. All has to be done by him.
*crys

Friends blog webbie changing to www.red-deceit.blogspot.com in a weeks time.
Pls tag when u saw this msg cos i dont wanna spend time tagging on all ppl's blog. Thanks.
For saving my trouble.

He's going back in. Anyway saw them at friday at seven eleven. But we walked past and didnt bother to stop after seeing what they did when they saw us. I nearly cried. But i didnt but was boiling with anger. So we went to alvin hse to play mahjong. Played for a little while. Pat called and ask us to go down find them. What for ask us to find them when two of them saw us and faster walked away. I didnt expect much from him i just wanted to see him. I dont understand why. Then after that I went down happily. And went back crying. Damn. I cant believe what he said. I dont know what happen between xy and sam. I dont know what happen between you guy's gossip. But IM NOT INCLUDED AIGHT! Im not associated with that incident. Dont judge me from my best friend. Its like as if what she does they judge me from it. Shes like that and im not. I just cant believe it. They say i dont mind. But i heard it from ur mouth. Then I was like pissed off already and I cant stand being there. Then I told them we are going back to our friend's hse already. Then Pat said his last fucking words and I was like 'Dont say me until like that im not like that!' And walked away tolerating. Then immediately broke down and cried. But i didnt really cried cos my shoulders are shaking but i manage not to drop any tears. But when i reach the hse. I immediately walked to the mahjong table and shuffle the tiles. Thats not like me cos i was always the lazy one. I didnt even greet alvin when i reach the hse. Then xy started something abt them. I replyed. Saying all the unhappiness i have abt them. I just keep saying and finally broke down. This time i really cried. I was trying to control my tears when i talked but it just keep flowing. After that i was like nvm nvm its over. And vent my frustration on the tiles. But that day very ke yan. I was like laughing all the way from hougang to serangoon. Then that night we played mahjong then outside one girl very guai lan. Then she from the living rm scolded us. Then we from the kitchen shouted back then it was like shout there shout here. Lol but didnt manage to see that girl. In the morning Pat called us to go down. Said Sam wanted to talk to xy. Then in then end Sam didnt said anything. Haiz nvm. I was there blood boiling all the way. Then I heard sam said yuren kin lei. Then he say you ask her come down then never say anything. Then I was like cool down a lil and happy a lil. Lol. But I felt that Sam is just jking or what. Then after that we went to Pat hse drink play taidee. Then very sian Yu Ren slping all the way. Then go home that time he just walked away. I wanted to say goodbye. But he walked too fast. Haiz. Nvm. I felt that all this is over.

Dont think So... =) All the Best

Yay he tml come out le. Aslo dont know if I got the chance to see him anot. Sam and Patrick never contact us anymore. I also dont know what the fuck happen. Thats y I dont like to know ppl outside. A while lost contact le. Like what cia. I hope got the chance to see him.

Just came back from hougang. My dad go fetch me. Lol sat sat cia. But dunno why ppl keep disiao xy and me lor dont like wor. Haiz friday also dunno whether want to not liaoz. Pat they all la. What the fuck. Dont understand them lor. Everytime attitude. Then Xy dont like him only then dont want contact liaoz. Then Sam and xy how. Then that Sam also lj kia de leh. If like Xy then jio her la. Do until like that liaoz then want how. Because of Pat meh? Kns lor. If he your bro then he should not because he like then dont let u have her mahz. I just feel that Sam is because of Pat but dunno izit that reason or he just wanna play Xy's feeling. Damn. Hate guys. Thats y i always dont like paikia. I wanna find one serious want also difficult. Then he lei. I also dunno la. Like play play only. Kns. Guys sux.

Three more days.. Miss you.

Stuck at home with no ciggie.

Tml going out with kwang. He want smoke wor. I no need buy ciggie. =) I deserve to smile. Lol.

Friday go mos. Hope got liquor. Hope after that go hotel with them especially him. ;)

Knn give him dua again. Actually at home wear till nice nice then in the end change clothes again. Then ton three days le now come home blog. Sian. Also dunno what to say.

Today Ah zai say wanna bring us go pub again. Hope he dont dua kang again. Cause must talk about that job the thingie. Later eating swensens with ma sis. Then after taht xy coming over cause she want go woodlands take things. Ytd she gotta conflicts with patrick they all then in the end talk cok want. Like nth happen like that. Then i also diam diam never say him cause if not really then i cant go out with them and see him le. One by one all attitude. Cant stand it.

I cant believe i can wait patiently here without any second thoughts and fustration. I still remember my ex, everyday waiting for him to msg me seem more difficult. Maybe because i already know that he wont patch with me. So it seem more difficult to wait and missing him everyday knowing i wont get a chance to ever see him. Damn. Why am I thinking of him. Nahz nahz no more kwang. He's history. I just wanna get back ma linkinpark cds!!! Damnit! Seven more days and he's out! Then I could possibly see him? Maybe...

Yay he friday come out sunday then go back in! Then next friday go mos. But i dont think i want to go. Cause no money. And i want to forget him?? But i dont want too.. Haiz dont know? see first.

I've seen him for the last time. Didnt have anything better to say to him. Cause I am afraid. I am afraid to show. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of loving someone. Now I have to wait.

Im already missing. Waiting patiently. What for gal? For a happy ending? Fuck you dream on. There no happy ending just look at you. They are just entertaining a fucking you. Nvm just wait its only months.

Im down with words

Now I know. You are just entertaining a fucking me.

Bye.. Saw your friendster... nth to say. Im the one sticking out. Im sorry but I cant go on. Bye.

Lol. After ytd that msg he didnt called me already. Phew. But im sorry.

Fuck that server so lag. I wonder how they guys lvl up so fast with that laggy server. I thought the server had capped players at 500. It was way off better. Damn. Its off.

Lol. Watch hide and seek alone at home in the dark really creeps me out.. The sound effect was good. Damn it scare me a million times. And i pause a while give myself a rest later then continue. Lol. Nice way to pass my time.

I still miss you.
I still want you back.
Do you remember me?

I given everything
I love you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You dont even notice me