_____________________________________________ Just listening to the voices...

Sunday, July 31, 2005

I bet shes going back.. This is totally whack.. How should it goes.. My regrets..


Why did he do that? What does he wants??

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

What is he trying to prove to me??... fuck it...

I want to say thank you Alphy for this few days... lol.. He will be leaving in less than two months time to uk... aww so sad... dont want you leaving so fast wor... If not no one bring me out le.. lol...

Monday, July 25, 2005

Let me introduce you to my thinking process.
Murders happen all the time, right? Well, what's so fucking bad about it? The person doing the murdering is doing a huge favor by killing, as this life is a waste of time, and is pointless, as everyone I hope, knows. But, if the murderer is put into a jail cell for the rest of his life, that won't do much. One, it takes up space, and two, this will make the murder more pissed. So, if they were given a death penalty, like a beheading, it would be better, and also, it would reward them, for they will get removed from this life too. It's like doing people a favor, killing. See what I'm saying?
And hanging heads and dead bodies around places would warn those who are afraid to die, so they woudn't do a crime, like stealing for example.
Also, what's so good about this 'god'? It's just not in a person's true nature to go through life like a Barney episode. It just makes more sense the other way around. It's just way too hard for me to explain on how I feel about this. It really is. Jesus was probably indeed an actual person who SEEMED to do great deeds and had messangers at his side. Angels are what 'messenger' means in a certain language; I forgot which. And people probably later looked at this Jesus as a 'god' and worshipped him. And he died and one of his messengers, Lucifer, betrayed him, for reasons I can completely agree with, and so god just bannished him to a place actually better than heaven.
If people keep being all happy and continue breeding, this world will evantually be a huge trash pit. Full of houses, roads, pollution. And if this 'god' didn't want his world to suffer, he wouldn't let it, would he? He is a fraud. And if indeed he did 'create', then people are the worst possible mistake you ever could make. Did he create people to become his allies against Lucifer? IS HE THAT WEAK? IF HE IS GOD THE ALMIGHTY, WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS 'MIGHT'? WOULDN'T LUCIFER BE DESTROYED BY NOW?
As I said before, this is all very hard for me to explain how I feel. But let me just sum it up: Do we want to live in a world so bright it blinds us?

Sunday, July 24, 2005

... Today i sms him hows ya.. he told me let like lor.. now a days got group togethre with a lot of ppl then in the group got one girl closer with me... I was like.. damn it..

No im free... I cant be trapped inside his palm anymore... Damnit... Who the fuck do you think u are

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The job is so fun. Lol answering phone and just pressing com. lol But some things are quite complicated... So fucking complicated and no confident in doing things...

Monday, July 18, 2005

Most ppl always think that scooter is lok cok and and sucks. I think so too. But now i've tried and its not so bad... Very comfortable and good to sit... Can move about too. Lol. And its damn cold at night just wearing a tube and riding a scooter. Omg i was shivering man.. So cold... But song lol

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Yippe!~ Chivas! Here I come!! Yay today xy father come back from overseas then she called him to buy Chivas come back then he's coming back today! Yea i love hard liquor! Bye bye reality! Come back ma world!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I finally a job... Can get on with my life but kinda little pay with tough working days... but... nvm at least i wont think too much...

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hai today i look at a fucking chain mail and cried.... Xuan qing do you know how i miss you...
I miss you so badly, dearly... I MISS YOU!!!

Monday, July 11, 2005

I got soo wasted last morning.. I even vomited on the bus with no one here talking care of me... I remember the last time i got wasted he took care of me greatly... I will not forget it... His strong arms and his gentle care... But in the bus it felt so cold so lonely so pathetic so weak...
Your not here when i needed you
But its time to face the truth
I will never be with you
You just dont get a clue
Why do i feel so blue
I finally see you through
Your not as good...

Or do i really see you through?
No I dont...

Why cant i just forget you??

Sunday, July 10, 2005

WAR OF THE WORLD!!!
Overall a nice show...

The best was the sound effect and the suspension... But what really makes the show bad was the ending. I was really bored off by the ending. Its like too simple and 'too dramatic simple' was like a children ending with a good explanation... But i really really like the suspense in the movie. I could really feel the fear and their acting was superb. They really act out the fear and make it look real. The sound effects were thrilling. I was so engrossed in the movie. I watched every sec and min of it without fail. I even ignored my sis qns. The graphic was ok. Some part of it was funny too. But i really must stress on the suspension. It was really really god damn fanastic. I dont know how should i stress on the word fanastic and i dont know how should i describe it. But i know it was the best suspension movie i've seen. So check it out will ya?

Friday, July 08, 2005

Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting
******************
And I wrote this letter in my head
Cuz so many things were left unsaid
but now you're gone
And I can't think straight
**********************
This could be the one last chance
To make you understand
**********************
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I know I won't forget you
**************************
Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of droping out of school
And leave this place to never come back
***********************************
So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here I'll be waiting
**********************
This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again
**************************************
I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you
And I'd do anything for you

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Who the fuck do you think you ar?! OmFg! Just look at yourself do yer think ur any man that can charm any girls. Dont be too confident punk. So what do you think ur doing avoiding me here. You suck your words suck even more. I will not take any more of your sweet little lies. I finally see yer through. No way am i gonna fall into ur trap again. Ur just wearing a perfect mask.

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Your not real and you cant save me
And somehow now your everybody's fool

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws like your pretending
But now i know she

Never was and never will be
Have no shame dont u see me
You know you've got everybody's fool

Friday, July 01, 2005

omg I cant control my emotions now. He really just made me look like a crying doll... I have no expression now. The blank look on my face... The sad smile i often gave... The look in his eyes that made me cry omg omg omg im really going mad.
Its over! ITs over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over! Its over.... .... GOD DAMN IT! WHY CANT YOU JUST ACCPET DA FACT THAT ITS OVER!!!!!
Nth will ever be the same again. Not if we are friends.
Because no.
I cant turn to you knowing that you will cheer me up again because no you left me that very day i cried.
I cant live in your love and concern anymore because no you dont love me anymore.
I cant hug your arms no more because no you left me here all alone knowing that i needed you.
I cant look at your brown eyes any closer now because no you have to go the moment i was missing you so badly.
I cant often see your msg on the phone now because no I dont even exists in your heart now.
I cant see you that often now because no you are beginning to feel irritated about me.
I cant be your lady now... because no... you left me that very day... ...
Every single day i live with a new hope that you would just msg me automatically just to let me know that you'd miss me or that a miracla would happen or i can see you today. Just a simple wish from you but every end of the day my hope gets broken. I hate the feeling of disappointment repeating just over and over again. Its like living on the day you broke up with me. I cant stand this kind of hurt and sorrow. God please return to me the miracle salvation. I still believe in you... I still believe you would change your mind and come back to me. I still beliee we can make it through this. Im still waiting for that very day. Please dont disappoint me again. Dont hurt me again. Can I see you now?

Thursday, June 30, 2005

We broke up... It just happen so abruptly.... Still in the state of shock and confusion. To a point of self-loathing and self-blaming... I will quit sch this time.
Never believe in love no more.
I wait. You will never call.
I am a girl you will never adore.
Somehow everything i see is bloody gore.
I love you to the core, but you made me become a crying doll.
I hate walking alone in the mall
Im here for you to ignore.
Why do you love me in the past? What for?
Im here waiting for your care and concern to store.
Never fall in love no more.