We broke up... It just happen so abruptly.... Still in the state of shock and confusion. To a point of self-loathing and self-blaming... I will quit sch this time.

Never believe in love no more.
I wait. You will never call.
I am a girl you will never adore.
Somehow everything i see is bloody gore.
I love you to the core, but you made me become a crying doll.
I hate walking alone in the mall
Im here for you to ignore.
Why do you love me in the past? What for?
Im here waiting for your care and concern to store.
Never fall in love no more.

I look at your message on the phone.
I really dont wanna let you go.
Please tell me why i seriously wanna know.
How could you let me go?
Do you still love me? Please dont say no.
Please dont say the word. I know i cant cope.
I dont wanna be there all alone.
I dont want anyone else except you in my zone.
So please dont leave me here lying cold.
You are my only one. My only hope.

So much love so much security in the past... How the fuck did things change so fast.. I dont understand i just dont understand... Pls tell me the truth..

I try to kill the pain but only brought more...

Thank you for completing me
Thank you for making me see
Thank you for accepting me as who i am
Thank you for making my lonliness end
Thank you for holding my hand when im fallin
Thank you for being there when im calling
Thank you for making my everything
Thank you for loving my everything
Thank you for not complaining
Thank you for not blaming it

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold

My life just hasn't been the same ohh baby, nooo

When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go I just broke down

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice

Cuz the feeling that I feel within

No other man would ever make me feel so right

Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night

But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me

I miss the way you hold me tight

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch

I never thought that I could ever love a man so much

I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny

For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

Thats right baby I'm going crazy

I need to be your ladyI've been thinking lately

That you and me, yes we can make it

Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel

From the moment that I met you its been so damn real

My heart seems to skip another beat

Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak

Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me

And you love me I'm your lady

I'll be around waiting for you

I'll put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you crazy over for you

I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?

It's true, no fronting

Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you I'll just break down

If you want to kick me one side then why did you jio me in the first place... i hate you for that... think what ai mai ai mai ar. im not a HoR go to geylang if you want some.. I cant believe you actually said that to me... My eyes just sting... I hate you... I love you

I knew it from the start. U still cant let go of the past relationship. I know u would love her more than u do love me. This few days u kept talking about ur ex. Like what would she do in this that situation. At where when. It hurts me so bad even though i always put up a tough front and makes u think that i do not care. If ever u had a chance i bet u would rather go back to her. I know u still miss remember the time i asked you. Do you ever missed her. U told me you do still. Im so afraid you would go back to her. I cant stand you having another lady occupied another space of your heart. I felt incomparison to her. I felt so small, afraid, tiny and weak. Shes just too great... Shes just too perfect... Shes seem the only one just perfect for you. Even thought ur right beside im know u dont only see me in your eyes. How you wish im her. Im sorry im not her. I cant be her. Shes more unique than me on ur eyes. I always saw something in your eyes that you are beginning to get fustrated about me. It makes me feel afraid. Did you know i even cried? I doubt you don even ur here. Im beginning to treasure. Im beginning to feel it. The pain... I beg you dont push me away. Dont neglect me....

No comments... Just waiting. I know its coming. Is my happy ending coming? I doubt it.

finaly!!! Im back home!! Chill out for four days... Whack out of chip. But kinda lucky some how

Only today i just realise something very important in my life. I didnt know that i ever love him so much... After going to his house when we were talking he suddenly said something thatrunk me unexpectantly and it really pains me to think of his sentence. What if it really going to happen. I dont think i would take it and it didnt happen and I reacted already so what if it happen. I dont wanna think of it. I didnt expect I would reacted that way and i totally screwed up. I tried to control nut failed. Im gonna miss him.

I miss his brown eyes. His playful look. It trips me off ... I love him. Willingly. I finaly dare to admit it. I love you.

Haiz fucked up life... spoke to him on the phone... Thinking* how stress he is with his family... so sad.... Felt very guilty of treating him this way like everytime pang seh him when im with friends. Then i cried silently on the phone even though i dont feel like crying... Stress*
Quit sch mum cried. He cried. Some conflicts. Tired. Sick. Real tired. Broke. Damn. Fucked up.
FUCKED UP LIFE!!!! I HATE YOU!

Like wat the fuck. Some dyke was fucked up and so she went to fucking wrote in her fucked up webbie. And now i was like wat the fuck expression.

Yipee! lol i finally got hp. *like finally*~~ hawhaw... Still not thinking right. Still not making any choices. * bye~ shitting

wah sian.. now at lan thherer then all go blog update then i also come join in the fun nor... lol.. ytd my bday so sian not special want.. but then xq,py,yt and ly come my house give me bday cake so touch. Then that stupid xy never come acc me still saY what sistaz cia... So angry then she come liaoz already 12.15AM liaoz then already after my bday liaoz never give me face. Then i keep saying her. Then so funny. Actually i not angry want then kay kay abit mahz lol. then got one kay po help me type dunno type what then delete. then saw me type this then help me delete again so KAYPO. LOL.

Im starting to get irritated~ You better watch it and stop it or you better try to save it or lose it. But I hate heading back. Watch it.

I wont let you be our obstacle. You wont pressure me.

I love you~... Do I want to? Heeh what the hell. Hecka that.. love you willingly... Muacks!

Not really myself nowadays. I cant believe that im really falling for him? I really dont know. I can see that he is serious to this relationship but I dont know what i really wants. I now dont mind his negative side already but I dont like falling for a person! It makes me miss the person so much that I felt boring without him. I cant believe this is me. I always thought that i wouldnt care if my stead would care about me or not or would he call me or that he really love me. How i wish he wouldnt care much about me or treated me so good. It makes me so sick. Haiz... its so tiring. I want me back! Nvm I just hope im happy.

Im sooo happy! Im finally back with her again! Friends forever! I hope i dont do anything wrong again. Oh man really regreted it.

Did something i never thought i will do.

Cousellor lecture me again.