Apparently, theres a peek at the cleavage again. Im just too busty for my shirt.
-
The road will be bumpy again.
Sigh, tough love.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Timbre
I have to admit Timbre was fun.
The music the ambiance.
From pop to classic ballads.
Oh my, not forgetting the pizza was heaven.
Was fun til.............
Trying to heave Macson to his house.
From 3+ til i reach home was 4 near 5am.
And the way he sa jiao just sounded like him.
That skinny monster weigh just like 70kg.
I cant believe i sweat so much.
Time to stop my holidays and start going to classes.
The music the ambiance.
From pop to classic ballads.
Oh my, not forgetting the pizza was heaven.
Was fun til.............
Trying to heave Macson to his house.
From 3+ til i reach home was 4 near 5am.
And the way he sa jiao just sounded like him.
That skinny monster weigh just like 70kg.
I cant believe i sweat so much.
Time to stop my holidays and start going to classes.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Having less power is more power.
Power over yourself, being in control of your emotions is true power.
You can change no one but yourself. :D
For the good of every relationships.
Honestly think my mom should look at this too.
My mom and her mom. HAHA!
Putting An End To The War
1) Stop Blaming – It is absolutely pointless for you to blame yourself or the other. Blame stops you from seeing the truth. While we are engaged in pointing a finger, and making the other feel guilty, we cannot see what is really going on. Blame is a way to keep the fight alive. TAKE A VACATION FROM BLAME FOR ONE DAY. Instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt you keep your eyes open to watch how you may be stoking the fires. Focus upon what the person has done for you, instead, the ways in which they have been kind.
2) Realize The Price You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the terribly toll fighting is taking on us, we will continue it automatically. Honestly take note of the consequences each fight brings, what it is doing to your body, mind and spirit. Then ask do I truly want this? Haven’t I suffered enough? Why not stop it today?
3) Choose To Be Happy Rather Than Right - You have to become aware that there is a better way to be in a relationship. This is the time to expand your view. Define success as being happy rather than being right. Learn other tools and techniques which will de-escalate anger and make a positive relationship possible for you.
4) Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth - The basis of all good relationships is a feeling of worthiness, a desire to honor, gift and pleasure yourself, and to do the same for the other. Choose this kind of relationship and let go of all that opposes it.
As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only does our health improve, but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus upon. When we focus upon well-being, forgiveness and love, that is what will fill our lives.
You can change no one but yourself. :D
For the good of every relationships.
Honestly think my mom should look at this too.
My mom and her mom. HAHA!
Putting An End To The War
1) Stop Blaming – It is absolutely pointless for you to blame yourself or the other. Blame stops you from seeing the truth. While we are engaged in pointing a finger, and making the other feel guilty, we cannot see what is really going on. Blame is a way to keep the fight alive. TAKE A VACATION FROM BLAME FOR ONE DAY. Instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt you keep your eyes open to watch how you may be stoking the fires. Focus upon what the person has done for you, instead, the ways in which they have been kind.
2) Realize The Price You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the terribly toll fighting is taking on us, we will continue it automatically. Honestly take note of the consequences each fight brings, what it is doing to your body, mind and spirit. Then ask do I truly want this? Haven’t I suffered enough? Why not stop it today?
3) Choose To Be Happy Rather Than Right - You have to become aware that there is a better way to be in a relationship. This is the time to expand your view. Define success as being happy rather than being right. Learn other tools and techniques which will de-escalate anger and make a positive relationship possible for you.
4) Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth - The basis of all good relationships is a feeling of worthiness, a desire to honor, gift and pleasure yourself, and to do the same for the other. Choose this kind of relationship and let go of all that opposes it.
As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only does our health improve, but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus upon. When we focus upon well-being, forgiveness and love, that is what will fill our lives.
Recieved my package from BFTE this morning again.
Guess what, they sent the wrong order again.
The last time they sent it with many missing items, this time,
they sent it with TOO MANY EXTRAS!
Wtf. I honestly cant believe it.
Now I have all this ridiculous amount.
Im selling all my extras.
This is the pigments I have now.
And these are all the EXTRAS.
Will do a few swatches next time for you to view the colors. Those who wants to purchase them im selling for 14$ each.
P.S Suddenly life becomes colorful and exciting... =)
Guess what, they sent the wrong order again.
The last time they sent it with many missing items, this time,
they sent it with TOO MANY EXTRAS!
Wtf. I honestly cant believe it.
Now I have all this ridiculous amount.
Im selling all my extras.
This is the pigments I have now.
And these are all the EXTRAS.
Will do a few swatches next time for you to view the colors. Those who wants to purchase them im selling for 14$ each.
P.S Suddenly life becomes colorful and exciting... =)
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
Mad World - Gary Jules
Bright and early for the daily races,
going no where, going no where...
Bright and early for the daily races,
going no where, going no where...
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I realised I have lost myself with all the compromises.
I used to, back off and detach myself when theres conflicts and tiresome on goings in the relationship.
Right now, I am so dependant and couldnt let myself go of the situation, and right now when I take a step back, I thought, being that way doesnt makes me any happier.
I need to find myself back.
I read the past entries.
We been through these cycle again and again.
I can only detach.
But this time, detach lovingly not detach with hatred.
I used to, back off and detach myself when theres conflicts and tiresome on goings in the relationship.
Right now, I am so dependant and couldnt let myself go of the situation, and right now when I take a step back, I thought, being that way doesnt makes me any happier.
I need to find myself back.
I read the past entries.
We been through these cycle again and again.
I can only detach.
But this time, detach lovingly not detach with hatred.
BFTE haul!
Good news is I have recieved my package from BFTE.
Bad news is, theres a few mistakes in my order.
Eight colors I have yet to recieved and three colors that I am not supposed to recieved.
After its fixed, I might do a few swatches!
____
A new idea I just found on the net.
Dry chapped lips sticks with me for as long as I remembered.
And I have found an effective remedy!
Is to exfoliate lips by using........ toothbrush. W.T.F
1. Apply a layer of Vaseline on your lips.
2. Gently use your toothbrush and brush your lips in circular motions.
3. Wash and apply Vaseline to moisturise!
There! Done! Healthy glowing lips!
You can use the toothbrush tactics on your face too.
But honestly I think its rather aggresive.
Bad news is, theres a few mistakes in my order.
Eight colors I have yet to recieved and three colors that I am not supposed to recieved.
After its fixed, I might do a few swatches!
____
A new idea I just found on the net.
Dry chapped lips sticks with me for as long as I remembered.
And I have found an effective remedy!
Is to exfoliate lips by using........ toothbrush. W.T.F
1. Apply a layer of Vaseline on your lips.
2. Gently use your toothbrush and brush your lips in circular motions.
3. Wash and apply Vaseline to moisturise!
There! Done! Healthy glowing lips!
You can use the toothbrush tactics on your face too.
But honestly I think its rather aggresive.
Monday, June 15, 2009
This is bad year for my family.
So much things have been happening to friends and family.
Few weeks ago, YT and us had a car accident.
Plus my parents just got robbed at JB.
God bless, both of them are unharmed.
I hope after this everything will goes smoothly for everyone around me.
And I pray that the next bad thing will not be 'us'.
Lord, please send your Holy Angels to stand guard over the people around me.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Slip of the tongue.
This is real meaningful.
We deserve to think about it, when I say 'we', I really meant me.
My glares burn through her.
And I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the essence of her beauty is, well, the essence of beauty.
And in the presence of this higher being,
the weakness of my masculinity kicks in,
causing me to personify my wannabe big-baller, shot-caller,
God’s gift to the female species with shiny suit wrapping rapping like,
“Yo, what’s crackin shorty how you livin’ what’s your sign what’s your size I dig your style, yo.”
Now, this girl was no fool.
She gives me a dirty look with the quickness like,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
so I’m looking at myself,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
But looking upon her I am kinda feelin’ her style.
So I try again.
But, instead of addressing her properly,
I blurt out one of my fake-ass playalistic lines like,
“Gurl, you must be a traffic ticket cuz you got fine written all over you.”
Now, she’s trying to leave and I’m trying to keep her here.
So at a final attempt, I utter,
“Gurl, what is your ethnic makeup?”
At this point, her glare was scorching through me,
and somehow she manages to make her brown eyes
resemble some kinda brown fire or something,
but there’s no snap or head moement,
no palm to face, click of tongue, middle finger,
roll of eyes, twist of lips, or girl power chant.
She just glares through me with these burning eyes
and her gaze grabs you by the throat.
She says, “Ethnic makeup?”
She says, “First of all, makeup’s just an anglicized, colonized, commodified utility
that my sisters have been programmed to consume,
forcing them to cover up their natural state
in order to imitate what another sister looks like in her natural state
because people keep telling her
that the other sister’s natural state is more beautiful
than the first sister’s natural state.
At the same time,
the other sister isn’t even in her natural state,
because she’s trying to imitate yet another sister,
so in actuality, the natural state that the first sister’s trying to imitate
wasn’t even natural in the first place.”
Now I’m thinking, “Damn, this girl’s kicking knowledge!”
But, meanwhile, she keeps spitting on it like
“Fine. I’ll tell you bout my ‘ethnic makeup.’
I wear foundation,
not that powdery shit,
I wear the foundation laid by my indigenous people.
It’s that foundation that makes it so that past being globalized,
I can still vocalize with confidence that i know where my roots are.
I wear this foundation not upon my face, but within my soul,
and I take this from my ancestors
because I’ll be damned if I’d ever let an American or European corporation
tell me what my foundation
should look like.”
I wear lipstick,
for my lips stick to the ears of men,
so they can experience in surround sound my screams of agony
with each lash of rulers, measuring tape, and scales,
as if my waistline and weight are inversely propotional to my value as a human being.
See my lips, they stick, but not together.
Rather, they flail open with flames to burn down this culture that once kept them shut.
Now, I mess with eye shadow,
but my eyes shadow over this time where you’ve gone at ends to keep me blind.
But you can’t cover my eyes, look into them.
My eyes foreshadow change.
My eyes foreshadow light.
and I’m not into hair dyeing.
but I’m here, dying, because this oppression won’t get out of my hair.
I have these highlights.
They are highlights of my past atrocities,
they form this oppression I can’t wash off.
It tangles around my mind and twists and braids me in layers,
this oppression manifests,
it’s stressing me so that even though I don’t color my hair,
in a couple of years it’ll look like I dyed it gray.
So what’s my ethnic makeup ?
I don’t have any.
Because your ethnicity isn’t something you can just make up.
And as for that crap my sisters paint on their faces, that’s not makeup, it’s make-believe.”
I can’t seem to look up at her.
and I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the expression on her face
shows that she knows that my mind is in a trance.
As her footsteps fade, my ego is left in crutches.
And rejection never sounded so sweet.
We deserve to think about it, when I say 'we', I really meant me.
My glares burn through her.
And I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the essence of her beauty is, well, the essence of beauty.
And in the presence of this higher being,
the weakness of my masculinity kicks in,
causing me to personify my wannabe big-baller, shot-caller,
God’s gift to the female species with shiny suit wrapping rapping like,
“Yo, what’s crackin shorty how you livin’ what’s your sign what’s your size I dig your style, yo.”
Now, this girl was no fool.
She gives me a dirty look with the quickness like,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
so I’m looking at myself,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
But looking upon her I am kinda feelin’ her style.
So I try again.
But, instead of addressing her properly,
I blurt out one of my fake-ass playalistic lines like,
“Gurl, you must be a traffic ticket cuz you got fine written all over you.”
Now, she’s trying to leave and I’m trying to keep her here.
So at a final attempt, I utter,
“Gurl, what is your ethnic makeup?”
At this point, her glare was scorching through me,
and somehow she manages to make her brown eyes
resemble some kinda brown fire or something,
but there’s no snap or head moement,
no palm to face, click of tongue, middle finger,
roll of eyes, twist of lips, or girl power chant.
She just glares through me with these burning eyes
and her gaze grabs you by the throat.
She says, “Ethnic makeup?”
She says, “First of all, makeup’s just an anglicized, colonized, commodified utility
that my sisters have been programmed to consume,
forcing them to cover up their natural state
in order to imitate what another sister looks like in her natural state
because people keep telling her
that the other sister’s natural state is more beautiful
than the first sister’s natural state.
At the same time,
the other sister isn’t even in her natural state,
because she’s trying to imitate yet another sister,
so in actuality, the natural state that the first sister’s trying to imitate
wasn’t even natural in the first place.”
Now I’m thinking, “Damn, this girl’s kicking knowledge!”
But, meanwhile, she keeps spitting on it like
“Fine. I’ll tell you bout my ‘ethnic makeup.’
I wear foundation,
not that powdery shit,
I wear the foundation laid by my indigenous people.
It’s that foundation that makes it so that past being globalized,
I can still vocalize with confidence that i know where my roots are.
I wear this foundation not upon my face, but within my soul,
and I take this from my ancestors
because I’ll be damned if I’d ever let an American or European corporation
tell me what my foundation
should look like.”
I wear lipstick,
for my lips stick to the ears of men,
so they can experience in surround sound my screams of agony
with each lash of rulers, measuring tape, and scales,
as if my waistline and weight are inversely propotional to my value as a human being.
See my lips, they stick, but not together.
Rather, they flail open with flames to burn down this culture that once kept them shut.
Now, I mess with eye shadow,
but my eyes shadow over this time where you’ve gone at ends to keep me blind.
But you can’t cover my eyes, look into them.
My eyes foreshadow change.
My eyes foreshadow light.
and I’m not into hair dyeing.
but I’m here, dying, because this oppression won’t get out of my hair.
I have these highlights.
They are highlights of my past atrocities,
they form this oppression I can’t wash off.
It tangles around my mind and twists and braids me in layers,
this oppression manifests,
it’s stressing me so that even though I don’t color my hair,
in a couple of years it’ll look like I dyed it gray.
So what’s my ethnic makeup ?
I don’t have any.
Because your ethnicity isn’t something you can just make up.
And as for that crap my sisters paint on their faces, that’s not makeup, it’s make-believe.”
I can’t seem to look up at her.
and I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the expression on her face
shows that she knows that my mind is in a trance.
As her footsteps fade, my ego is left in crutches.
And rejection never sounded so sweet.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Fate is a part of one's life. 2nd.
I love my sister!
My bed crashed last night. Must be the fights going on, too disappointed too agited between N and me. I got too fustrated to fix the bed. And so, I slept on the floor.
And just like what YT said, I couldnt wake up for class again.
Why do we always make up in the end?
Then whats the point of quarreling?
And whats the point of repeating the same thing over again?
Please let me see.
"I will make you forever happy."
The package from Beauty From the Earth havent arrived yet. Maybe I am impatient.
Its my Sis's birthday present for me! And so I chose some pigments from their site to try it out! Im excited. =D
This year I have gotten so close with my sister and I love it, love her! I hope that eventually we are still as close, no matter what the future brings. ;p
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The drag.
Gotta push myself on track. Cant get over this holiday sickness!
Its time for class but im sitting here procrastinating. Booshit.
This year passes so fast, things had gotten too familiar, too used.
Does appreciation still comes in time?
Does excitement still comes in time.
Jie I envy you ;]
When relationships are concerns, no words matter.
No promises matter.
Theres only a choice to trust or not to trust.
And only your choice matters.
Gonna get more of MAC Dazzleglass, its amazing.
Words cant justify it.
P.S Who would let me lean on?
Its time for class but im sitting here procrastinating. Booshit.
This year passes so fast, things had gotten too familiar, too used.
Does appreciation still comes in time?
Does excitement still comes in time.
Jie I envy you ;]
When relationships are concerns, no words matter.
No promises matter.
Theres only a choice to trust or not to trust.
And only your choice matters.
Gonna get more of MAC Dazzleglass, its amazing.
Words cant justify it.
P.S Who would let me lean on?
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Dont get sick of my face yet.
Okay you can get sick of my face now HAHA <3
-
This month back at guitar lesson, Amir change a whole new approach to his teachings and I TOTALLY LOVE IT! In 45mins, he teaches 5 segments of different genres and stuffs. Love it love it love it. A bit of metal, blues, jazz, acoustic and other stuffs! I always wanted to learn a little here and there because different genre has a different feel to it. I want to know what suits me best. Plus it is more interesting! =D!!! Happiness.
Im looking forward to Saturday!
Beach partayyyyyeeeeeeeeeee!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
This is misery.
I found my life incredibly BORING since I started BMC. (It doesnt helps when I couldnt get along with the BMC girls.)
No more parties, no more boys (boys had become singular tense since few years ago), no more drunk and trashy scenes from the girls, no more scamming drinks from dirty old men, no more extra money to spend and the ultimate, no more dressing up beautifully.
No money = no shopping
No shopping = sloggy and boring clothes
Sloggy clothes = no dressing up
In addition, my year has been school, guitar lessons (oh and I just resume my guitar lesson this month), routined supper. = No reason to dress up.
Its so exciting that I could cough out dopamine. But yes, it drains out all my dopamine level, which means I am chemically imbalance in my brain right now.
I NEED DOPAMINE!
On a brighter side, I have regular exciting sex routine, it helps. Yes the roleplaying does helps.
I cant wait to finish O'level that has been delayed and delayed and delayed.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Complacent now.
Somes a keeper,
some are not.
Right now,
OUT OF MY LIFE.
I dont feel a pinch in my heart nor a twitch in my conscience,
cause there is no reason to.
some are not.
Right now,
OUT OF MY LIFE.
I dont feel a pinch in my heart nor a twitch in my conscience,
cause there is no reason to.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Had fun nights ago.
Couldnt take much pictures cause my camera sucks.
Went to east coast for rollerblading and Tony's friend came along.
And at night went to Tony's friend house to BBQ.
GUESS WHAT. Another suprise. Didnt matter his car looks great in the first place but his house is a freaking three storey. Yes I was damn shocked and obviously someone like me, started acting like a sua ku in the house. "Wa wa waaaa!"
He has 4 cars in his garage WTF! @#$!@#%!@#%@#$^$
I keep exclaiming all the way from the ground floor to the roof. And we BBQ at the roof's balcony. Really nice ambience. You dont have to go out for a great ambience. Good right! God, I swore to achieve that by 35.
And another suprise. His GF is actually a celebrity!
Its just suprise after suprises.
That night it was just a dream.
Couldnt take much pictures cause my camera sucks.
Went to east coast for rollerblading and Tony's friend came along.
And at night went to Tony's friend house to BBQ.
GUESS WHAT. Another suprise. Didnt matter his car looks great in the first place but his house is a freaking three storey. Yes I was damn shocked and obviously someone like me, started acting like a sua ku in the house. "Wa wa waaaa!"
He has 4 cars in his garage WTF! @#$!@#%!@#%@#$^$
I keep exclaiming all the way from the ground floor to the roof. And we BBQ at the roof's balcony. Really nice ambience. You dont have to go out for a great ambience. Good right! God, I swore to achieve that by 35.
And another suprise. His GF is actually a celebrity!
Its just suprise after suprises.
That night it was just a dream.
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